Epiphany Moment

What sparked your decision to go natural? Was there a light bulb moment for you, or was it more of a gradual process?
For me, I believe it was actually both, gradual at first and then a light bulb moment. Going thur menopause with the hot-flashes, mood swings, and my Hair thing. I won't lie, it wasn't pretty and I didn't feel pretty either. My relax hair would not cooperate with my natural cessation. It would frizz up over night and frizz out by noon the next day. It was breaking off like the slivers of a mans' shave beard, thousands of tiny pieces. Well, that's my story and I'm stick'n to it. My hair was probably over-process, dry and unhealthy. Therefore, something had to give, it would have to be my lifeless hair. At the age of 48, May 4th 2008, I did the big chop, it was cut down to 2 to 3 inches and I hated my TWA. Then in July, the week of my 49th birthday, I had sisterlocs (aka dreadlocks) put in and that was a love and hate relationship with my hair. I loved the freedom of wash n' go, but I hated the plucked chicken look. Literally, I've got pics. Then just short of my one year anniversity with sisterloc, I took then down. In June 2009, I unbraided 675 locs, day and night, at work and at home for 9 days straight. Why, because my hair was very dry, (due to the special shampoo which helps the hair loc-up) and I lost two 4'' loc/braids. When I unbraided the loc of hair that broke off, I saw my curl pattern and it was love at first sight. I wonder if my whole head was full of curls like this. And I had been eye-balling Teri LaFlesh blog site tightlycurly.com and felt my hair was similar to her, especially in her youth pictures. The rest is history in the making. I found your blog, which I've learn so much from (Henna and retaining length) and I'm continuing to learn new techniques. I've remain natural for 1 year and 4 months, and I plan on staying natural for the rest of my life. My hair has grown so much in such a short time. I love doing my hair, it's not a chore now, I love the fact that it's beautiful every single day come rain or shine. I simple love my hair. I can't say it enough at 50 yrs. of age, I finally love my hair:)

Hey Ladies!
Good question..I was always interested in Natural hair however I did not know how to go about it. One of my former friends from college had gorgeous natural hair and she inspired me to educate myself about relaxers and I later found my own natural beauty. I decided that I was going to start tranzin in grad school however because of hair cut (due to over processing) I decided that day that I would no longer put my hair through hazardous chems found in relaxers. I tranzitioned for 10 months and cut the rest of the relaxed ends and I have not looked back since. I have no regrets, I only wished I was addicted to hairboards when I was a freshman in college [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I decided to go natural because I was spending way too much time and money at the salon. Also, my hair was shedding and breaking and was very dry from years of relaxing. I thought about going natural a few years ago but didn't have the knowledge and resources to make a sucessful transition. This time around I decided there was no going back and embraced it whole-heartedly. I am glad that I found online resources such as this blog to help me on my journey. I know that I made the right decision for me and my hair.

Great question!!!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
When I finally became aware, confident, and comfortable in who I am, my heritage, history, my own story. I began to want to be everything the Lord wanted me to be and in every way. So that also meant my hair. I have always judged my beauty by how straight and long my hair was. Always trying to fit or blend in through my years of schooling. But after I gained knowledge on who African Amercians are as a people, what we have and continue to achieve, what we have been through for years to try to conform and be accepted along with my own struggles and achievements. I said enough is enough. Their is nothing to be ashamed of. It is just one of the many things that keeps us unique and untouched in our beauty. So only equipped with my mental state of going forward to freedom as an encouragement (no spouse or family on board (thought I was crazy) ) I have taken on this journey. It's only been 1/2 a year but I am happy to say "I MADE A DAMN GOOD CHOICE." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
I have 2 sons and I want them to know and love their mom in her natural look. And hopefully be blessed to marry a natural beauty like their mom and so many of you.
Thank you for this forum.

Sorry about such a long post...Okay, before I began, I just would like to say that, my mother did not relax my hair. At the age of nine, my Ex-step mother relaxed it without my parents consent [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] (But that is another story!)


It is funny that you ask this, because the thing that sparked my moment to become natural was when I went to visit my cousin for spring break on year. She is into dancing and arts, so I used to go to her rehersals and watch her dance. I was sixteen at the time. All of her friends were natural(she was natural also). That was my first time seeing so many beautiful women with natural hair! I could'nt believe my eyes! My cousin lives in Atlanta, so the natural hair scene is very big there especially in 2002. I remember asking one of her friends about her hair and she was like "I am natural, no chemicals." I then asked her what she style her hair with and I remember this like yesterday, she pulled out a tube of IC Fantasia Gel. It was weird, I was speechless.

At sixteen I decided that I wanted to kick the lye. That summer, I told my mom I didnt want to relax. To my surpise she agreed. My hair was getting out control (well, I really didnt know what to do with it ...i guess that was my transitioning period, but I had no clue what that was it! Lol!), and I ended up relaxing my hair again. My aunt who was my beautician, was NOT happy at all! She was pissed, because, she basically had to relax all of my hair over, not just the new growth...but I didnt care.

In the back of my head I knew that, I still wanted to go natural. Now, keep in mind this was 6 prior to my bc. In my heart, I wanted to go natural, I really did. Throughout high school, I would wear my hair in buns, wraps, and textured styles. I even wore a twist and curl (before I knew what is was). That was one of my favorite styles!

Fast forward to college. I met my best friend, and I always admired her hair because she was also natural. She would wear it straight or curly. I thought that that it was soooooooooo cool! I used to try to mimick her! I still wanted to go natural, I just didnt have the guts to do it then.

3 years later (2005) I was browsing the internet looking for flat irons. I saw a link that breifly advertised a flat iron that a particular natural used and how she could go from curly to straight and still look fab! Out of curiosity, I clicked on the link and it directed me to a blog called Honey Brown Sugar. Immediately I was hooked! While reading Wes' blog in amazment and awe (bc of her gorgegous hair). That was it! I had my lightbulb moment! Wes, also mentioned Curly Nikki in one of her post, and I fell in love twice. I was so inspired! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I had to GO NATURAL.

I immediately went to youtube to check out natural hair videos. I was hooked! I knew after that, I couldnt relax my hair anymore. So, I decided to transition for two years. Well, that didnt last long and I ended up transitioning for only two weeks! When I did my BC I felt so liberated and relieved. I was very happy about my decision. Now, I feel like I never have bad hair days, bc natural hair is so unique everyone's hair is so different. It is just beautiful. I love to meet other naturals, and see beautiful natural women on Tv and the internet (BTW, have you seen the leading lady in Trey Song new video? Her hair is fierce!)...okay, getting off of subject.

So, I guess you can say my decision to go natural was VERY gradual, it took me 8 years to actually do the BC. I dont regret not doing it earlier, I guess it just wasnt the right time. During those eight years, I gained a lot of knowledge about natural hair, and became inspired by so many natural beauties. I feel like I made one of the best decisions in my life ever!

The first picture:
Preschool - Age 4

The second picture: High School (My textured style: Twist n Curl Lol!) Spring 2002

Third: Infamous BC picture

Fourth:
Now 8 Months Post BC


No relaxer here.

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High school (Relaxed hair)

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Big chop

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Twist out gone wrong! (But I like it though!) [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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What sparked my decision to go natural was discovering wonderful sites such as CN and others. I had tossed the idea around in my head for the past 2 years, but was unsure of it because of being so "tender headed." Once I started researching and talking to other naturals it just made since. I am so glad that I did it!

A trip to Barbados sparked the idea for me to go natural. I went on a trip with about 12 ladies and almost all of us had issues with getting out hair wet. Some of us even avoided the pool and beach water for as long as possible to preserve our hair do! My friend Melissa (who didn't mind getting her hair wet) stated how most Black women are slaves to their hair. How they let it dictate their activities and daily lives. I was like "WOW!! That is so true!!!". When we returned from vacation, I began my research on transitioning and natural hair. That's also when I received my last perm...July 1, 2008. And I'm happy to say, I'm no longer a slave to my hair (although I'm still not a fan of getting wet in the rain .

I started transitioning when I was pregnant with my son. I desired to be a better woman for him and that include making healthier decisions for my mind, body, and soul. I started with growing out my relaxer as the first step of my new lifestyle and it has been two years. I'm loving every moment!
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I have been natural since November 22, 2008 (almost a year now!) and for me it was more of an "Ah haa" moment rather than a gradual thing. I got my last relaxer in March 2008, and I usually would go 3-4 months without one anyway. It was in May 2008 that I made the conscious decision to not get relaxers anymore. I started doing a TON of research online to figure out the best way to transition for me, look up hairstyles, how natural hair should be treated. The more I researched and learned, the more I loved and appreciated MY hair and that new growth I was seeing... the same new growth that I used to LOATHE! LOL I have never regretted going natural and LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! It was one of the best decisions I could have made and my hair is so much healthier.

Keeta [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I always loved natural hair, but several years ago, while sitting in the salon WAITING FOR HOURS to get my touch up, I had a moment - I looked out the window and saw my hairdresser arrive, late, in a car that was far nicer than mine and I thought, I'm a big fool. While I didn't BC at that precise moment, it was the beginning of shortening my hair until one day I only had a bit of relaxer at the front and the man lining me in the back said, why are you hanging on to this up here? He was right. Since then, I can't say that I've been able to stay natural all the time but right now I am really happy and have been relaxer free for two years. I'm in the process of trying to transition from color to henna - I'm not ready for gray just yet!

I decided to go natural because my hair was damaged pretty badly. (Combination of relaxers & bonding glue). Initially I was going to give my hair a rest with sew-ins..Everytime I would take the sew-in out, I would get a relaxer, and my hair would still look frail and jacked, the sides and the back were done...So I made a decision to invest my money in my own hair and stop spending money to sew someone else's in LOL....

My decision to go natural was not even really a concious one. I'd always worn micro braids alot. After a horrible overprocess in 2001, I just stopped getting relaxers in between. Over time, all of my relaxed hair fell away. It was not until 2008 that I discovered healthy hair practices, now I could not be happier!

What sparked my decision to go natural was hearing that I could not get a perm if I got pregnant. That started the dialouge between my heart and my mind about what I was potentially doing to my body. I asked myself a simple question, "if it is bad for the baby- why isn't it bad for me? I had never posed the question to myself, "why do I relax"? I started thinking about it and gradually kept on getting more blowouts at the Dominican salons instead of relaxing. Then my hair started to break and get really brittle.

There was a light bulb moment when I was sitting in the hair salon and ran my fingers through my hair, because I was transitioning at the time, huge clumps of my hair was falling out! That was it! I simply could not handle the breakage. So, it was not the most gradual process- I had cut my beyond sholder length hair twice before I did the BC.

I decided to take the natural "plunge" because my hair was soooo damaged and I couldn't seem to get it back. I had bald spots, breakage, split ends. It was dry, brittle really and nothing I did was working. So I tried it...what did I have to lose? My hair couldn't get any worse. And if worse came to worse I could just shave my head. I have a pretty cute head. At first I thought well maybe without the relaxer I can achieve some length. In the last year since going natural I haven't really gotten length but I am totally ok with that. My hair looks and feels great. My friends love it! I love it! My husband can't get enough of it!! So it is one of the best choices I've ever made.

I've always played with the idea of going natural. I actually tried to do it in high school, but the lack of knowledge and the pressure to look like everyone else won!

What finally made me take the plunge was an epiphany that I had. As I began to grow personally and spiritually, I realized that I hide behind my hair. I am NOT my hair. So, I began the transition process. After only 5 months of transitioning, I chopped off the rest of my security blanket.

And let me tell you! It was not easy. There were days where I felt ugly, lol.... But it was because I was so used to defining myself by my hair. But it was the BEST thing that I've ever done for my hair and myself. I have a new confidence. And I love the me that God created me to be: kinky, curly, and full of joy!

That's why I decided to go natural! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

What sparked a Natural Me?



Commitment. I was never able to fully commit to going completely natural because of the worries of how people would "perceive" me. I was insecure and very afraid of my natural hair so conformity seemed like the best route. It's the same story time and again... My mother and Sister have beautiful full big curls and I had the more coiled texture so in my "comparison" to their lovely locs I didn't encourage my own self and went the relaxer route. Recently, I sat down with my finances calculated the astronomical amount I had spent on my hair in the past year and was automatically taken aback by HOW MUCH I had invested in weaves and faux-hawks only to be left with, dry, colored, and over-processed hair. It wasn't growing as fast, was not healthy and my diet sucked! Going natural for me was a life change that was "a long time comin'" and I'm thankful there are a community of people who are transitioning not only their hair but their lives. I'm ready now...very ready.

A lot of people have light bulb moments, but mine was more of a dimmer switch...if that makes sense. Little moments that over time revealed what I really wanted.

My sister has locs and when her daughter was born she made the decision to loc her hair as well. My family was completely opposed and I was semi opposed. She and my niece's father have such beautifully textured hair that I thought they should leave my niece's alone and let her make that decision when she was older. Being my older sister, she rolled her eyes, ignored me and went about her business as usual : )

When I was pregnant with my oldest son, I stretched my relaxer. I tried to be Ms. Healthy By The Book Pregnant Lady, and tried to wean myself from chemicals for the safety of my baby. Alas, I was addicated to the lye. Without it, my hair would be a hot mess...wouldn't it? I braided and bunned and eventually went back to the lye. I'd never seen my husband's hair because he shaves his head but everyone told me that it was so pretty and curly when he was little. When I saw my son's hair, I have to admit that I was jealous. It was thick like mine but it was curly and wonderful! I figured that he must have gotten that from his father... When my youngest son came out with almost the same curls, I thought "At least they got my nose!" : )

As I was about to turn 31 I found a picture of me from when I was about 5 or 6. I'm on a bicycle in front of my grandmother's house with my hair in ponytails. Big, loud,fluffy hair model ponytails that would make you want to get your hands on them. I wanted that hair back! Years of relaxers, Jheri curls & Wave Noveaus (yes...I had them) mixed with college hair disasters and no hair knowledge left me in hair purgatory. Neither long, nor short and slightly manageable. I was tired of going to the beauty supply store looking for a hair miracle or showing up on my cousin's or my sister's doorstep, box perm in hand, begging them to straighten my hair. My hair would be straight but flat and I'd be adding endless product to it just to have curls and body. Eventually my new growth would show up like an uninvited party guest and I'd be back to square one. This summer I just decided that instead of frying it into submission, I would just let my hair be. I'm an information junkie, so I began stalking Fotki's and websites, trying to figure out what I would do with my newborn afro that blossomed under the remnants of my relaxed hair. I wasn't ready to cut my hair so I've been spending the last few months as a mediator between my 'fro and the relaxed ends--trying to make the 2 textures learn to get along.

I feel like its time for me to learn how to take care of myself. I've lived 3 decades and STILL don't know how to take care of my own hair? !?! That's ridiculous. I knew just enough to manage a decent hairstyle once in a while but not enough to have healthy hair or retain length. My hair would never do what I wanted it to do unless it was short and relaxed. Not a lot of hair, but a lot of maintenance. With a husband, a job, a house and 2 rambunctious little boys, I don't have that kind of time...or money.

We are mothers, daughters, sisters and wives but we spend so much time taking care of others that we forget about ourselves. I've realized that I am beautifully made. As a mother to young boys, I am the first woman in their lives and I want them to see what a real woman is. She's someone who's comfortable with her flaws and her gifts and embraces what God has given her.

Transitioning is truly an evolution--physically, emotionally and spiritually. Its not for the faint of heart but it is giving me an opportunity to truly see what I'm made of.

Good luck on your natural journey!

When my hair was relaxed it was so long and beautiful and thick I have no complaints about it. Every girl i knew were envious, and desired my hair. I loved the fact that I didn't really have to take care of it in order for me to have it the way it was.

I always lust the curly hair and whenever it was time for me to relax my hair I would feel the curls and fall in love with them, but my family told me I had bad hair. That I would never look beautiful without the relaxer; and that created fear because I never thought of myself being attractive in any way. I was so scared that I felt like Romeo and Juliet with their forbidden love until I was 16 and felt my love's calling getting stronger.

My sister started to think about going natural but upright refused to allow me to go natural. At 18 I thought I've had enough of my fears, and wanted to appreciate my hair in any state; I was prepared to love it and not care what other people thought about it because I thought my hair beautiful.

I stopped relaxing for almost 2 years, but never BC because of fear. And then my sister, the only person who could affect me so much in life, approved. She finally approved, and that made me so happy, I cried. That's when I finally realized that I was waiting on someones approval, someone who has kept me sane and hopeful whenever life got too rough for me. lol. SO much self-love came from that moment, I felt happy, free, and well prepared to take on anybody who had something negative to say about my hair.

Negativity will never hold me back, it actually makes me laugh :]

Good luck to all of the natural's out there!