Epiphany Moment

What prompted me to go natural? Reclaiming my freedom! I no longer concern myself with hair contraints that women of color (especially women of African descent) have been told that we have to follow. You must have straight hair, it must be this or that. And sadly women of color get this message from other people of African descent (i.e. friends, family, significant others, co-workers) shoved down their throats. I came to a point 10 years ago where I embraced the fact that I am a grown- a#* women and will do what I want to do with my hur! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Short answer- My beautiful sister's twist outs along with two cousins rockin' some amazing fros last Christmas sparked my thoughts of going natural. But I think it's been a growing idea for several years as I watched my sister's hair grow thicker and longer than ever before. Thanks sis!

In actuality, I tried to go natural in high school. I learned how to braid and twist, but I didn't know enough about natural hair care in order to keep up the regimen. It was something really new for me. My mother had been relaxing my hair since I was about 7 and it was our bonding time.
So, in 2004 me and one of my good friends decided to make a pact. I noticed that my hair was thinning and breaking off and she had similar problems, so we haven't had a relaxer since. It was so much easier to have a buddy doing it with me, because although we didn't have the same hair texture we were able to face it together.
We never did the big chop, we just got the relaxed ends cut off as our hair grew. Needless to say, I'm still a product junkie. lol
Back to my story, It was one of the best decisions we ever made. I encourage as many women as possible to be natural. I myself never really had a choice, so try something new and love your natural hair. I love the compliments and would never go back to a relaxer. My scalp could never handle the harsh chemicals.

Q: What sparked my decision to go natural?
a: I loved how women and men can just rock their unaltered hair strands so confidentially with out worrying about what people say. Also my relaxed hair was as sad as my self-esteem, fallling out from the roots, and breaking off. I knew one day I would HAVE TO ditch the chemicals.

Q: Was there a lightbulb moment for you or was it more of a gradual process?
A: No, I put in alot of thought into this. This is a sort of lifestyle change for me. I was the one who was going to have to detangle and fuss and love my hair.
I started out with microbraids for 3 months, i flat ironed for 4 months. When I actually bc'ed, i was fed up with maintaining the straight and sleek standard. Thats when I let my inner "nappyness prevail"!

I decided to embrace my natural curls and stop frying it with heat sources because:
1- I wanted to learn how to care for my curls and make them look as good as other curlies I've seen
2- I was tired of being a slave to my hair! Not working out or doing things that would sweat the straightness out.

All my life the only way I knew to do my hair was to blow dry and straighten with a curling iron or flat iron so that's what I did.....every week! I wore my hair curly for maybe 2 or 3 days at a time in between sometimes but it was always pulled back. Esp since my mom and grandmother always made negative comments about me wearing my hair curly. Those words always stuck in my head.

One day (I think it comes with being in your 30's) I decided that I like my hair curly and would like to rock it if I could make it look better. I decided that I didn't care what anyone said or thought, including my mother (which was big for me) but being that she lives in a different state it made it easier. My husband likes my hair curly and I didn't really pay that much attention to the friends I have who wear their hair natural. So I turn to them for ideas and we support and encourage each other.

I haven't straightened my hair since August and although the transition was tough in the beginning, I'm glad that I haven't given in to the pressure or frustration. I now get more compliments than ever about my curly hair, especially from men! Not that I'm looking for attention from them because I'm happily married, but I guess I always thought they preferred the long straight hair.

I'm happy. Beauty does not lie solely in my hair and certainly not in my straight hair. It's beautiful because it's mine

My decision to go natural was more of a gradual process. I'd always wondered what my hair texture was really like...and I even once tried to get the 'curly look' by braiding my relaxed hair. Unfortunately, my relaxed hair was BONE STRAIGHT, so I never really experienced the curls I wanted. Then, one day I just decided to stop relaxing my hair, and three years later, I couldn't be happier!

I've been natural since 2001 and I've always wanted to make the transistion since my mother and sisters had been natural for years. I loved how they embraced their natural texture and how beautiful their hair was. I was scared to take the plunge because I was always the "best friend" to the light skinned long hair pretty girls. It wasn't that I didn't feel pretty, but I always felt left out (my sisters are years older than me) around my family and a tag along with my pretty light skinned girlfriends. The bruthas wanted to date them not me, take them to the movies or to eat, but wanted "something" else from me. My sisters are both lighter than me, and their hair, not as course as mine (4b here!). I spent a couple of years in college going thru the same thing I grew up with and after my sophmore year, I withdrew from school and joined the Army. But, even though I didn't have long straight hair, I never really learned how to take care of my short, broken, over processed hair and after a few months in Germany (my first duty station) my hair started breaking more and more. After about a year, I started micro braiding my hair (that was 1992) to keep from going bald, and then all of a sudden, I started to feel pretty and the bruthas did too! So I would have my hair braided every two months in between relaxers scared that someone, anyone would see my real hair. One day, when I was home on leave, I was looking at my middle sisters hair, and she was like, "Girl just cut it off! Why are you so scared? You keep it braided anyway!" And I thought......yeah! Instead of putting in chemicals, which I never really learned how to take care of, I'll just do it.
So, 2001, was the BC and up until I deployed in 06, I kept micro braiding every two months and two strand twisted while I was in Iraq. I've never regretted going natural, and I feel just as pretty without the chemicals! Well, I'm heading back to Iraq on Monday, and I'm sooooo happy to have found curlynikki! I now know how to take better care of my natural hair!
WOW! Thanks for letting me spend some time on the couch! I really needed it!

Much Love!

Desma

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You'll have to forgive me for this being relativly short, but I am laid up in the crib with a NASTY flu (not Swine, just regular ol' American flu). Thank goodness I had 2day off work.

Hmmm...I went natural b/c I was in school, and didn't really have access to perms. I noticed that my hair was thin, and I thought, "hey maybe it's because I keep perming my hair!" So both of those combined to make me switch. I wasn't a healthy natural though. I would hot comb my hair everyday (sometimes 2x a day) because I had found a spectacular style (hot comb straight w/pink lotion, put in a high ponytail, then take it out a couple hours later, shake it out, and voila! nice big soft waves, and if it was humid, my hair would shrink into big shirley temple curls which still looked hot!) I did that for about 5/6 years (with a perm in between after graduation), with tons of breakage, but my hair didn't look thin anymore, so I was happy!

Fast forward to last year, when Nikki put me on not using heat, and pointed me to NC.com, and so far for a year, I've been natural w/no heat. The only negative is that I still haven't found anything that will disguise my thin/fine hair. Had some luck w/ wash/gos, but since it's cold now in the Chi, I can't do that anymore! So in addition to wanting to win this package of products, I'm definitely looking for ways to style my hair that don't involve showing my scalp off to the world lol If you know of anything, point me in the right direction! =)

Oh and congrats Nik for the Tyra gig! Yo GO girl! =)

Happy Veterans Day!

(So random and off topic, but isn't it like clear to everyone and their mom that Nicole is clearly going to win Top Model? When has she not taken a great picture? They should've ended the show weeks ago and just gave her the job lol) ...going back to my Nyquil & OJ now lol =)

Well my decision to go natural was gradual and not gradual lol.

Last year I started college at a prestigious north eastern university...and it was horrible. That's not an exaggeration at all, I just wasn't prepared for everything that went along with it, I had never even left home before. I didn't realize how much it took and I struggled and at points I failed. I felt like everyone was running for the finish line and I didn't even realize that there was a race going on. I had worked so hard to get here only to arrive and discover that I was failing. Everyone around me seemed to be in another league, while I was just that ghetto girl from the Bronx.

Well I've never been one to wallow in self-pity, so I managed to salvage my first semester and when I got home I had to take a hard look at myself. I had to find my center, dig deep and ask myself what did I want from this experience, what did I want to accomplish at college? In the end I remembered that I hadn't gotten to where I was by concerning myself with what people around me were doing and I wouldn't get to the next step by doing that either. Yes it was a race, but I had to run it on my terms, I had to play by my rules.

So this summer I was extremely excited to get back on campus. LOL, I felt like a boxer that had been granted a rematch, outside the ring throwing jabs, yes lets go I was ready to start my second year and do it right! I was going to take on the competition and I was going to do it my way! And of course presentation is half the battle, so I began to think about what to do with my hair. I immediately knew that I wasn't feeling the relaxer anymore, I have been relaxing my hair since I was in the 3rd grade. It just wasn't me, it didn't reflect what I was feeling. Those straight locks looked too flat to me, they didn't reflect the edginess that I was feeling, they didn't have enough attitude, enough oomph! Forget blending in, I was ready to play by my rules, I WANTED TO STAND OUT!! I decided to start researching weaves and extensions but there was something about it that just didn't appeal to me. While researching weaves on the internet (I had never done one before and was trying to convince myself, lol) I came across some blogs about natural hair. When I came across Curlynikki, that was it. As soon as I saw it, it was like a lightbulb moment. I thought YES, thats it, thats what i'm looking for! It was different, it was bold, it was beautiful, it was perfect.

I thought to myself, hell if my hair could look like that why would I need a relaxer? I needed hair with attitude, character, something that would make waves. Lol and that is definitely what has happened. I've been transitioning since August and I just cut off some of my relaxed ends in October. My naturally straight haired roommates...lol, are so confused. Everyweek I try a new natural style and they look at me in wonder and remark on how different my hair looks. Transitioning is hard, but when I walk into class people immediately see me, and when I answer a question they KNOW that I am serious about my grind!

My college experience has improved by leaps and bounds, and I know that making the decision to go natural was definitely a factor in that. I'm ready to be bold, embrace my differences, and walk with that confidence that only a natural can. So, really going natural was just a logical choice considering all that, lol!

Relaxed girls just don't have this swagger, lol! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

My decision to go natural was sparked by my desire to be happy! I got so sick and tired of not being happy because of it. I was tired of worrying about my hair at the gym, getting caught in the rain, wanting to get in the pool but not being able to because I'd just gotten a relaxer . Those things don't worry me anymore and as weird as it sounds it's made me a lot happier!! I now smile every time I look in the mirror and run my fingers through my hair. Going natural has been by far one of the best decisions I've made. I love/adore/cherish/am grateful for my curls,waves,kinks & coils

What sparked your decision to go natural? Was there a light bulb moment for you, or was it more of a gradual process?

Hey Nikki,

First let me say that as a University student it is only fitting that I do things on the last day they are due! Also, I always have to have the "issue" written down before I give the "answer"... I cant help it, it is in my DNA now. lol. Well here is my response:

I got my first relaxer the summer before 7th grade because I always wanted to "wear my hair down like other girls" and mom said that was the only way I could. Before that I had always worn pigtails(2) or 3-4 braids that made me look very kiddish and I wanted to blossom into and look more like a cool teen. Also, whenever there was a pool party or day at the public swimming pool, I was the only one who had to wear a swimming cap OR was not allowed in the water PERIOD since mom was not into washing my hair afterwards so I ended up missing out (or so I thought) on a lot of fun childhood activities that to me were the most important things EVER! (Oh, and FYI this is not a mom-bash, this is just what I experienced... I love my mom!)

I had my last relaxer in December of 2001 (11th grade in high school) and was completely natural by graduation (approximately May 2003). My decision to go natural was pretty major considering that I was the only natural afro-textured lady in my family AND was still in high school AND under my parents roof. My first spark of wanting to go natural was looking at other ladies on TV and models in magazines and seeing how beautiful their hair was (other than on BET, I felt like a lot of the ladies I saw in commercials and in magazines were natural). Also, since I had never done my hair myself previously to my first relaxer, I always wanted to see how it "really" was. I only got relaxers around 3-4 times a year so I knew how my little kinks and coils felt when I had new growth but I wanted it to be my entire head! I read up a lot about natural hair and going natural on nappturality.com and then started my journey. I got mom to slowly cut my hair every few months until all of the relaxed ends were gone (right after prom). Before that, in my transition period, I roller-set my hair or blew it out and flat-ironed it until my hair was not "acting the way I wanted it to".

For me the lightbulb moments were
1) realizing that I was going to college in a year and 1/2 and not wanting to be "dependent" on a hair stylist to get a relaxer (I had this BIG THING about being INDEPENDENT which was great!
2) wanting to know what my real texture of my hair is/was
3) not wanting to fuss with heat every time I washed my hair and wanting to just wash and go like other ethnicities did with ease
4) I wanted to love myself for me ENTIRELY and did not want to have one ounce of "fakeness" to me (PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I WAS A STRONG WILLED TEEN). I did not like or wear make-up (other than Prom) and did not want to do what I thought then were things that were not natural and real. (PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I DO NOT THINK THIS WAY NOW...lol).

For me it was not an extremely hard battle with my family. I sat everyone down and spoke to them about the harshness and dangers of relaxers and how I did not want to relax anymore. We had our issues and roadblocks but all in all my family was accepting of my change and just wanted me to look "presentable" which I know... sounds pretty bad right?!?!

Today, although I have been natural for years now, the experimenting never ends! Before I was anti-heat and now about 3-4 times a year I will use heat and blow dry/flat iron my hair to change things up. I view my hair as more of an accessory now that is an extension of who I am. The beauty about 4a/b hair is that it can do ANYTHING you want with some tools, accessories and products. SO ladies I say LOVE YOUR HAIR... we've got it good!

Take care and keep it happy nappy sistas!

I think I finally made the decision to give up the harsh chemicals the day that I heard
my then hair stylist complaining that her hands were very red and irritated after she had
finished applying my relaxer. My scalp would alway burn the same way but I put up with it for many years just to have straight hair. Stylist would tell me it was only because I was very sensitive to the chemicals. I finally came to the realize that all the sores on my scalp following touch-ups was no longer worth it.I even had a few stylist that would tell me that it was my fault that my hair was breaking because I was not consistantly getting my relaxers done and I believe them. I wish I would have thought to discontinue the process after the first time that a stylist didnt throughly remove the relaxer and my hair became very short in the back from the breakage.
I think back to the days of watching "Yo Raps" in the late 1980's and early 1990's sitting at the salon for hours on end while getting my very flyy Jerri Curl and the awful smell & burning from that. Oh those were the days. Interesting that I had no problem back then cutting off all my jerri curl hair so that I could start getting relaxers but I was oh so hesitate to chop it all off so that I could move into being natural. I finally decided to cut it all off
last year while my husband was deployed and at that point begin reading more about the benefits of natural healthy hair. I also began to change the way I shop for groceries for myself and my family especially since diabetes runs in our family. I'm taking care of the inside and the outside
for a healthful and fulfilling life. After my son was diagnose with ashtma I stop using store bought cleaning supplies and began to use safe natural produts for cleaning.
Every morning I have a routine which starts here with Nikki and a few blogs on green living, I then hit the treadmill and watch Wendy Williams and have a spot of green tea. I love searching for ideas and recipes for whipping up my own hair concoctions. My husband loves when I make homemade products for him like foots scrubs and body creams for when he has rough days in the field. I enjoy reading what the other ladies have to say here and their opinions on different products, its truly helpful to me.
Olive ya Nikki, your the bomb!

I had my last perm in 7th grade, I guess I was thirteen maybe twelve. I hated my mother for it, I cried pouted and stamped my feet. I was convinced I would never have any friends and no boys would ever like me. So that's when my love affair with the flat iron began. I just became strong enough in July of 2008 to break up with it. We may hang out again a few months from now but only as occasional buddies. So far I don't miss him a bit.

I never relaxed my hair, but I decided I was tired of only seeing my hair as being beautiful when it was straight. Straighter = prettier to me.

I realized my main problem was frizz and dryness, so I've been having fun finding different ways to hydrate and define my curls.

One reason I went natural is that I was tired of short hair.

My hair has always grown rather quickly, except for my crown area. It
was always noticeably shorter than the rest of my hair, which was not a
good look. So because of this I would always keep my hair short, add a
track of weave in that area to disguise it, or weave/wig my entire
head. But my mom convinced me that if I would just let go of the
chemicals, then that area would grow nicely - and it has! Thanks Mom

What sparked your decision to go natural? Was there a light bulb moment for you, or was it more of a gradual process?

For me, it was my boyfriend. I hated getting relaxers because I got scalp burns all the time and especially right after getting a perm, the way my hair would hang limp and lifeless. That's actually why oftentimes I would mist my hair in the rain or with a spray bottle just so it could poof up a bit more. In any case, I was complaining about all these things with my boyfriend and he's Asian so he had no clue that my hair wasn't naturally straight and he found it appalling that I would do this to myself and especially so often. So he asked me why I didn't just stop if I hated it so much. And I did. It really wasn't any more simple than that. I never disliked natural hair I just never considered it an option until he asked me that question. So it was definitely a lightbulb moment for me and I haven't turned back since. : 3 Here I am now 2 years later, a senior in high school and I couldn't be any happier with my hair. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

this is my 4th time going natural and my last....i've been natural since May08. i was so happy to fine blogs like cn and many others..the information has givien me a new life on being natural. back in the days you could not fine any information on helping you along the way, my hair is so healthy, thick and as grown so much, i have gotten so many compliments, there is no way i will ever go back to putting any chemical in my hair. i love the freedom of not sitting in a salon for 3 or more hrs, i can get caught in the rain, my man can touch my hair(lol). im more confident with in myself, i walk straight, tall and proud to be a 100% natural. i always love the look of natural hair on other sisters, that is what spark me to try again

Becoming a Mom motivated me to go back to my natural state. My daughter is almost 3 years old now. Part of planning my new life was to find out how I could be the best woman and the best mom. In an effort to do so, I researched if the chemicals found in relaxers could harm my unborn child. Well, I didn't find a definative answer so I went with my gut and said "NO MORE RELAXERS". As I transitioned I started to fall more in love with myself. Now...You can hardly tell me anything...lol. What I mean by that is I LOVE my TRUE self...inside and out. And despite what others may think about me or my hair...I don't care...I don't let it bother me like it used to.

I've found many to be an inspiration to me and I am so grateful to be inspring others.

MochaBella

FullComplexity is taking home the prize! Check out the post: http://www.curlynikki.com/2009/11/winner-winner-chicken-dinner_12.html

Thanks to all of you for participating...we'll have another giveaway starting next week!

Hello Curly Fam:

My WOW moment was in March/April 2009 when my mother was devastated after being diagnosed with discoid lupus. This is a condition that attacks the scalp and promotes hair loss. My mother's hair was always thick, strong, long, and beautiful. There are no tell-tell signs of the diagnosis and it may or may not be genetic. I told her that I would go natural with her, but in the back of my mind...I was thinking how in the world was I going to tame my thick hair without my 10 week touch-ups. My hair is super thick and grows fast so I had no idea how this was going to work, but I was going to be my mom's running mate on this hard time for her. She has done everything for me, so why not! I started researching being natural and then it became apparent that I could do this...GO NATURAL! Why not...it's healthier and it just might save my tresses from the same condition that attacked my mom's hair! I transitioned for exactly 7 months and then had my mother cut it on Thanksgiving Day 2009. It's ironic because when I was cutting my hair, my mother was finally beginning to see all the hair coming back in the bald spots due to natural hair products, NO RELAXERS, and dermatologic treatments. We're both going through our natural journey together and I'm so glad that I can share it with her. I'm happy about my decision, Plus, you save I've saved so much money and time off of your life sitting for hours in the salon on beautiful Saturday afternoons!