Big Sister

by ChrsLvsBks 14th December 2009, 4:57 pm

Here is a little bit about my transition.

I had my first perm at nine. I would get a perm three to four times a year. I grew up in the 1980s and have had fingerwaves, wrap styles, asymmetrical cuts, etc. While I cannot recall exactly when I stopped getting perms, I know it was nearly a decade ago. I decided I was tired of putting in a chemical relaxer. I did not know I was “transitioning” when I stopped relaxing.

I wore my hair in two strand twists, twist outs, flat twists and braids (without extensions). I was one to always do my own perm (once I was of age) and did my own hair since I was nine. I would visit the hairstylist in order to have her recreate the newest styles then revisit when I wanted another look.

Please note that I did not BC, didn’t know what it was and cannot recall having two textures.

Who do I think I can help? Anyone with an open mind and willingness to accept advice. I consider myself kind hearted, creative (at least with hairstyles) and patient. I have read A LOT as it relates to caring for naturally curly hair. My sources for information are extensive, and I am willing to share what I have learned.

Please feel free to ask my anything, and if you feel more comfortable, send me a personal message.

Keep in mind I am giving advice based on my personal experiences.

by Miss CurlyT 14th December 2009, 5:48 pm

Funny...I saw your avatar pic and realized that I even stock your fotki page! And I just LOVE LOVE your hair. I am currently in the transitioning phase right now and its a very very difficult stage for me. Although my last perm was two years ago (NOV 07 to be exact), I have worn my hair straight for the past year and a half. Therefore, all my new growth is practically straight. I do beleive that I have cut off just about all the perm, but you wouldn't think so when taking a look at my hair. The ends are so straight. The last time I put any heat in my hair was back in september....and from then I have made a conscious effort not to apply any more heat and try and become a lot more serious about going natural.

Basically right now I am at a point where I just don't know what to do with my hair. I notice you wrote that you don't recall having two textures but thats my biggest problem. My natural hair is such a different texture than my relaxed ends or "flat iorned ends". When I try and do twists and add a lil shea butter or coconut oil, the ends get BONE STRAIGHT....causing my twists to look just plain stupid! The roots are nice and fluffly and the ends are straight and limp. I desperately need some transitioning ideas, other than twists.

So I am taking you up on your offer. I will harass you...just how a lil sis is supposed to [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

by ChrsLvsBks 14th December 2009, 6:27 pm

First, try to be patient. I know it is hard. Think of this, you have transitioned using heat for nearly two years. It was not until September that you have used less heat. Your ends are more fragile and older than your new growth. They may be damaged and will not revert. If you do not have the length you feel comfortable rocking just yet, there are style options.

Second, here are a few suggestions. One option is the very one you have in your avatar, bantu knots. You can flat twist your hair (two strand or single) and then put bantu knots on the end, further protecting them. You could style your hair going to the side (switch up so hairline does not get weak). Other options would be to rollerset it using a variety of rollers for different looks. You may have to get creative with bobby pins. Cornrows with or without extensions are good options. The style options are endless, so to speak, with cornrows since you can vary the size of the braids as well as how you part.

Lastly, I am here to help like a good big sister. Let me know if this is not what you were hoping.

by **Lynnieluve** 14th December 2009, 8:06 pm

Got room for one more?!!

I transitioned 4 months and been natural 4 months. I am currently looking into giving up shampoos and looking for a good deep conditioner.

I've seen how helpful you've been around the forum and love your spirit and caring through your words.

Pick me PLELASE!!!!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

by ChrsLvsBks 14th December 2009, 9:31 pm

Lynnieluve, I have room in my heart for many sisters. I am honored you asked.

Have you tried cleansing your scalp with conditioner? If so, what was your experience?

As far as deep conditioners, is your hair sensitive to oils or protein? Before becoming a PJ, I used mayo and egg for a protein conditioner once every two weeks. The result was softer less tangled hair. You can also add oils to your favorite conditioner to enhance its properties. Let me know what benefits you want from deep conditioning and I will look at my resources to find which oils (essential or otherwise) and other ingredients can give your conditioner a boost.

by Muz 14th December 2009, 10:11 pm

Creative with hairstyles? I NEED you! LOL, I was into bantu-knot outs for about a month, but then I got sick of those and now I'm looking for something else. If you can not only describe the style, but explain how to do it, I'd love it if you'd be my "big sister" Smile

by **Lynnieluve** 14th December 2009, 11:05 pm

Yay!!! WooHoo!!! I got a Big Sis!!!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

ChrsLvsBks, I use VO5 clarifying conditioner. I only use it when I have used natural or organic hair products. If I use ORS Twist and Lock gel or MJ Baby Buttercreme, I feel like (in my mind only not my hair) I need to use shampoo.

What I really need to do is get a solid regimen. What I have been doing is just using a little bit of this and a little bit of that whenever and however. Just all over the place. Luckily for me, my hair has been very cooperative.

This is my plan:

Shampoo once a month
Protein treatment once a month (gonna try the egg&mayo)
Oil rinse once a week
Co wash 1-2x a week
Deep Condition once a week

I'm trying to keep it simple. I have some castile soap I have yet to try. I think I may have come up with a good deep conditioner for my weekly treatments. I mix Olive oil with VO5 conditioner. It worked well as a prepoo so I am gonna try it as deep conditioner.

I just want my hair to be happy, soft and moisturized.

by ChrsLvsBks 14th December 2009, 11:42 pm

Muz wrote: Creative with hairstyles? I NEED you! LOL, I was into bantu-knot outs for about a month, but then I got sick of those and now I'm looking for something else. If you can not only describe the style, but explain how to do it, I'd love it if you'd be my "big sister"

I'd love to be your "big sister." I feel you on the bored. I have been wearing small twists for the last couple of weeks. Now that I am in my third week and final week, I am so wanting to take these bad boys out, wash and play in my hair.

Before suggesting styles, do you prefer your hair out or protected?

by ChrsLvsBks 15th December 2009, 12:14 am

@Lynnieluve, your plan sounds good. Is there a reason why you want to shampoo once a month?

To keep your hair happy, soft and moisturized you can also pre-poo before co-washing. You could use the oil you use for oil rinses. As you know, curly hair needs moisture.

I remember reading somewhere to try something, in this case, at least three times. You could try this for three months and keep track of your hair's health. If you are not already, join the BnB's challenge or keep a journal. I think it is a great way to track what you have done.

BTW-I love VO5 conditioners especially the Moisture Milks.

Let me know how it goes with VO5 and olive oil as a DC.

by **Lynnieluve** 15th December 2009, 12:55 am

I dont like that squeaky clean feeling my hair gets when I shampoo. My Creme of Nature Ultra Moisturizing Shampoo (which is a sulfate shampoo) cleans it without it being too squeaky clean. The sulfate free shampoos are really harsh on my hair. I've tried AOHR shampoo - HATED IT!!!, Giovanni 50/50 Shampoo - HATED IT!!, Organix Coconut Milk and Giovanni Triple Tea Tree was ok.

I dont use all natural products. I use MJ Baby Buttercreme (not often) which has beeswax and some other questionable things in it so I feel like I need to make sure I shampoo that stuff out a least once a month. I learned early in my natural journey that my hair can not be shampooed every week. It makes my hair feel dry and brittle.

VO5 Moisture milks are my favorite too. Strawberries and Creme!!

ChrsLvsBks, you know when you are newly natural (and not so new), you are chasing after that magic product. You want to try every new thing you hear about. Well I want to take control of the PJ brewing inside of me right now. I am fortunate to have pretty much found all of my staple products in these 4 short months. Now I need to take this new regimen and see how my hair reacts.

From time to time, I may try a new product but first I have to use up all the stuff I have first.

I joined the BnB challenge last week so I am updating it everyday.

Thanks so much for listening (reading) to my rambling.

by Muz 15th December 2009, 2:12 am

ChrsLvsBks wrote:
Muz wrote: Creative with hairstyles? I NEED you! LOL, I was into bantu-knot outs for about a month, but then I got sick of those and now I'm looking for something else. If you can not only describe the style, but explain how to do it, I'd love it if you'd be my "big sister"

I'd love to be your "big sister." I feel you on the bored. I have been wearing small twists for the last couple of weeks. Now that I am in my third week and final week, I am so wanting to take these bad boys out, wash and play in my hair.

Before suggesting styles, do you prefer your hair out or protected?

YAY! Thanks! Out or protected, either way is fine with me. The less I have to do to it between washes (I usually wash once a week unless my scalp starts itching), the happier I am. Oh, and I have to agree with you on the V05, I've been using that the last couple of months and I LOVE it. I also tried Aussie Moist this past Saturday, and I love that too. I wish I'd discovered co-washing sooner. . .

by Kea::curls 15th December 2009, 9:31 am

Is 4 little sisters too many?

Rolling Eyes

If it is, i completely understand Smile

I would be happy to have anyone serve as my big sister who can help me learn about better moisturizing my hair (especially the ends!!!) and learn about good (but not overpriced) products or homemade mixes. I haven't been using shampoo and have been trying to avoid cones (although I do have 3 products that contain 1 cone each).

...but i just had to ask! As soon as I saw the little/big sister idea i LOVED it and immediately thought of you Smile

I second lynnie, in that everytime i have a question or concern you are always one of the first to offer helpful advice (and i am not ashamed to admit that I also stalk your fotki).

However, if 4 sisters IS one too many, just let me know! I'm sure I will still see you around on the boards either way & that is very helpful already!

by cococurly 15th December 2009, 10:42 am

DO YOU POSSIBLY HAVE ROOM FOR ONE MORE SISTER? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I AM BCing ON TOMORROW, I TRANSITIONED FOR 4 1/2 MTNS. I AM EXCITED ABOUT MY NEW JOURNEY AND WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SOMEONE HELP GUIDE ME. IF YOU HAVE ROOM FOR ONE MORE, THEN LATER I WILL SEND YOU MY PLANNED REGIMEN.

by Tamren 15th December 2009, 10:50 am

..um can you make room for one more?? Very Happy

Even though I haven't had a relaxer in more than a year, a girl is still lost! I have become a product junkie, but I'm still having problems with my hair being dry.

by ChrsLvsBks 15th December 2009, 11:44 am

I have room for you all!

I will do my very best to answer your questions within two days, most likely sooner because I am always checking the site. If I do not have the answers, I will do my best to find them. As I mentioned, I have a number of resources I can consult.

Again, I am honored you have thought and considered me in your quest for healthy, moisturized, beautiful curls.

by Miss CurlyT 15th December 2009, 11:51 am

HEY! Everyone came and took my big sis away..LOL..j/k. We can all use her for encoragement and support.

@CHrsLvsBks thanks so much for your encouraging words. Patience is indeed the key...so I am hanging in there. so now the fun part...all my questions!!

1) Do you henna and would you suggest it to ladies transitioning.

2) I also plan to wash my hair once a month but I saw you question Lynnieluve as to why once a month. Should we do more or less. I tend to have a drier scalp so I always washed often...but reading around has led me to beleive that the constant washing can dry your hair even more. Is that correct??? Also I am using more oils (olive and jajoba)...does that cause build up???

3) What is pre-poo. I see the term being used alot but I am not exactly sure what it means.

Thanks in advance for all your help..

by ChrsLvsBks 15th December 2009, 12:49 pm

Miss CurlyT wrote:HEY! Everyone came and took my big sis away..LOL..j/k. We can all use her for encoragement and support.

@CHrsLvsBks thanks so much for your encouraging words. Patience is indeed the key...so I am hanging in there. so now the fun part...all my questions!!

1) Do you henna and would you suggest it to ladies transitioning. Yes, I henna. I also use indigo (darker hair and better gray coverage). From what I have read and I read many of the posts and responses on the hennaforhair.com forum (http://www.hennaforhair.com/forum/index.php?module=phpwsbb&PHPWSBB_MAN_OP=viewforum&PHPWS_MAN_ITEMS=4), henna is a plant-based dye and is safe for all. I always suggest doing a strand test before applying it to hair. I did it with hair I pulled out from different areas of my head. I also applied it to the inside part of my elbow to see if I would have reaction. There are few that have a reaction to henna so please test first.

2) I also plan to wash my hair once a month but I saw you question Lynnieluve as to why once a month. Should we do more or less. I tend to have a drier scalp so I always washed often...but reading around has led me to beleive that the constant washing can dry your hair even more. Is that correct??? Yes, depending on the shampoo and their ingredients, you can do more harm than good in washing frequently. If you feel you must wash often, try adding oils to the conditioner and/or apply an oil to your scalp at least an hour preferably a few hours before using shampoo. I typically cleanse my hair when I henna and use a new product. This way I know I am applying to hair that is ready for the goodness of henna and determine if a product does for my hair. Also I am using more oils (olive and jajoba)...does that cause build up??? I have not experienced build up from either. I typically only apply EVOO to my hair not my scalp. I LOVE jojoba oil. It is good for the scalp and skin. It mimics the oils our skin naturally produces. As with most things, try to get the unrefined, virgin versions of the oils you use.

3) What is pre-poo. I see the term being used alot but I am not exactly sure what it means. My definition of pre-poo is to use an oil (your choice) to coat your hair and scalp prior to cleansing with conditioner or shampoo. I pre-poo whenever I cleanse my scalp. I have used Vatika oil (Indian grocers usu. have it), coconut oil, jojoba oil and EVOO. I coat my hair with the oils, not to the point of dripping. Coconut and jojoba are probably the best since they have some moisturizing properties--use them on my scalp also.

Thanks in advance for all your help..

by Preezie 15th December 2009, 1:12 pm

ChrsLvsBks,

Me three!! I absolutely love your hair and aspire to be where you are. I transitioned for about 10 months with a sort of big chop last june (I can explain later). it is now almost shoulder length rely heavily on professionals to keep my hair up. Both of my stylists are great, but I want to but try to tackle it alone for the next 5-6 months. I see that you are in the DMV. Me too! Hopefully we have a Curly meetup so that we can connect.

Thanks for everything.

by ChrsLvsBks 15th December 2009, 2:34 pm

Kea::curls wrote:I would be happy to have anyone serve as my big sister who can help me learn about better moisturizing my hair (especially the ends!!!) and learn about good (but not overpriced) products or homemade mixes. I haven't been using shampoo and have been trying to avoid cones (although I do have 3 products that contain 1 cone each).!

As you may have read, water is the best moisturizer. I have recently tried to use strongly brewed tea for my water source. I keep it in fridge and rinse with it for my final rinse. I have used green and gotu kola teas (2:1 ratio). Cold water closes your cuticles reducing moisture loss.

As far as other moisturizers, aloe vera gel/juice, shea butter and cocoa butter (avoid scalp)--may clog pores and coconut oil. You can make a mix of shea butter, coconut oil and aloe vera gel (100% pure). I got the recipe from someone on fotki. I will find the recipe and share it. I like it when I wore WnGs this summer.
Moisturizers you will commonly find in conditioners and shampoos are cetyl alcohol and cetearyl alchol (fatty, good alcohols).

Also seal the moisture with an oil (coconut, EVOO, jojoba, etc.). Try to purchased the unrefined, virgin, first cold pressed oils. If your ends need extra loving, try castor oil. It is thick and can be mixed with another oil to make it less thick. I have used it both ways.

by **Lynnieluve** 15th December 2009, 3:32 pm

Also seal the moisture with an oil (coconut, EVOO, jojoba, etc.). Try to purchased the unrefined, virgin, first cold pressed oils. If your ends need extra loving, try castor oil. It is thick and can be mixed with another oil to make it less thick. I have used it both ways.

Where do you get your castor oil from? I always read about the jamaican castor oil. What about "regular" castor oil? Do you think it will work just as well?

by ChrsLvsBks 15th December 2009, 4:30 pm

@lynnieluve, I have only tried castor oil I purchased from The Vitamin Shoppe. It was clear with a yellowish tint. It did not contain any other ingredients. It is very thick so if you decide to use it alone, use just a dab. I think it works best on dry or damp hair. My hair felt coated when I used it alone on wet hair. It was also hard to distribute.

I want to get the Jamaican Black but have put it off until next year. I am trying to not make any purchases until then (praying that I can last).

by Kea::curls 15th December 2009, 6:48 pm

@ misscurlyT + @lynnielove + @muz + @cococurly + @tamren + @preezie

yaaay!!! i'm happy to have chrs as my big sis &&& i'm singing the theme song to family matters: WE....ARE....FAMILY....i got all my (natural) sisters w/me!!!

Hello &&& it's nice to meet you all Cool

lol

@chrs: i purchased some unrefined 100% castor oil last week for my scalp and was afraid to put it on my hair (b/c of the thickness) so i will definitely be mixing it with another oil (probably EVOO). As for the brewed tea, do you mean that you make green tea (as though to drink it without sugar) but cool it in the frig & then do your final rinse? i just want to make sure i understand, before i go rummaging through my kitchen cabinets!

by cococurly 15th December 2009, 7:47 pm

@chrs.... Thanks for accepting me as a little sis. It feels good to have experienced backup and support. So after my "BC" on tomorrow, my planned regimen will be:
Cowash with Aussie Moist 2x's/wk depending on my hair needs
DC every wk. with AOHSR
Sulfate free shampoo every mtn b/c of cones etc..
Leave in cond with KC Knot today or Giovanni direct
Seal with coconut oil /unrefined shea butter
Style TWA with KCCC

How long would you recommend I stick with these products b/f trying something new? I have so many products I want to try, but I want to give each product a fair chance b/f changing to a different one. I will definitely listen to my hair 1st, but I know it will take a while b/f I find staple products, and know what my hair likes and doesn't like.

Any suggestions or changes in my regimen will be greatly appreciated. Also, When you deep cond. should you cowash or deep cond. 1st or does it matter?

I'll make sure that I post pics after my "BC" tomorrow [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Welcome and Hello to all the other little sisters!!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

by **Lynnieluve** 15th December 2009, 7:51 pm

Cococurly,

Are you nervous? excited? anxious? How long was your transition?

by cococurly 15th December 2009, 7:57 pm

@lynnieluve.. I am very excited, but also scared. My greatest fear is not being able to manage my hair or style it. I transitiioned for 4 1/2 mtn., I think about the same time you transitioned. I checked out your fotki, so that I could visualize my length. Wish me luck [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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