Help....I need a big sister---PLEASE

Hello all I am new to CN and in need of Natural big sister. So here is my story. I have been natural for almost 6yrs now. I had stopped relaxing after I got preg with my son. However, I was still getting my hair blown out and needless to say heat damage was my middle name [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] . I finally did the big chop of all the heat damaged hair this Jan. I was just sick of having the two hair types. Pin straight hair at the ends and kinky tight curls at the root. I always looked like I was over due for a relaxer.

Right now I am in desperate need for advice. My hair drinks moisture like I drink water. I too am over loaded with what products to use for moisture. I have a little fro that I would like too keep moisturized. I don't know what to use for good wash'n'go's. Also I have such tight curls and would like to know how to loosen the curls. The shrinkage and dryness is a whole other issue [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] .

I want my hair to grow out as well. I have a wedding in Nov. and would to have a little length.

Please help.................. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

What are you using right now and what is your regimine?

Hi DreamMerchant thanks for responding. I was beginning to lose hope. To be honest I never really had a real regimen [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] . As I stated before although I have been natural for almost 6yrs. I have always pretty much had it blown out. So it was badly heat damaged [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] . Now that I have done the BC I am starting from scratch. So what I have been doing lately is washing at least once a week with Aveda Brilliant Shampoo and using the Brilliant conditioner. To lock in moisture my friend made me some sheabutter mix with oild and that is what I have been using.

Friday I did a co-wash with a little be of kera care humecto I had left over. I then used the Aveda brilliant. Once done I put in the shea butter and used some baby butter cream I purchased recently. I have to say the moisture was good. Again still dry in the AM but I just spray some water and it softens up again.
Yesterday I purchased Herbel Essences hydralicious and totaly twisted. I also got some garnier stuff. Haven't tried it though. Hoping to get some really curl definition. Because not having any right now... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Well, it seems like we started out with the same routine! I was natural for the longest but I falt ironed my hair every two weeks. At that time, I did not know I was damaging my hair. I knew that heat was bad but I figured since I did not have a perm or color and that I was only doing it every two weeks then it was ok. Not so! I finally stopped flat ironing in 2007. I still did not know what my realy hair texture was because it was heat damaged. I tried wash-n-go's but I could never get them to work and I did not know it was because my hair was heat trained.

Sorry, I got to rambling! Anyway, you asked for help. It sounds like to me your hair is not retaining the moisture you are putting in there. I have been using product after product trying to find my perfect match. Then I went to Tightly Curly's website and figured out that there are "combing" conditioners and then there are "rinsing" conditioners. I was trying to do my wash-n-go's with rinsing conditioners and that was why my hair was drying out. My rinsing conditioner is the Suave Coconut something and my combing conditioner (which makes your curls defined and clump together and that is what you want) is the Herbal Essence Hello Hydration. I just started using it and my hair has NEVER felt like this! I then put some coconut oil to seal it in.

About how long is your hair now?

Yes Dreammerchant...you do understand my pain with the heat damage.

Prior to doing the BC..I had cut my hair short. The back was tapered and I had hair on top. It was cute i guess... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]. So when I did the BC I had about an inch of new growth on the back and the top I cut down to match as much as possible. I probably had a least 2 inches up top. Since I cut in April I have not straightened it to find out. I have a little afro...Its not TWA..but I still have issues doing a two strand twist. I usually just do a wash n go and slap my trusty head band on. I can say the afro as gotten a little bigger.

So question. for you how often to you get your ends trimmed. So when I did the BC I literally did it. I mean it was obvious what was dead and was healthy. When I would wet my hair my ends would be pin straight...so I just cut until I got to the afro. I am sure i missed some spots but I got most of it. I attempted to go to a hair dresser to get the rest but it didn't work out. Some one told me to just leave it alone. That those dead ends will break off themselves. What is your opinion? I know the hair dresser will have to straighten it to cut and that is my fear [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I do not trim my ends. I use to trim about a half inch of hair off every month and then I was wondering why my hair was not retaining length. I was cutting my hair because I THOUGHT that hair had to be even. So I was cutting it to make it even! My hair grows in different lengths naturally so I have not picked up any scissors since January. That has been hard for ne. I will "dust" my ends or do the "seek and destroy" method. Some of the ladies on here have gone to very good stylist and the did not have to straigten their hair to cut it. I do have many hair videos on you tube and you can see some of the things that I have been doing.


I feel like am not helping you at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynWvvMfuuWU Here is a videoof me talking about a braid and curl. In the first video I talk about products I use to retain moisture. Let me know if I can help in anyway!

Oh my goodness,,,you are helping. Just having someone to chat with that understands means so much. I have a many friends who are natural but they are doing great. My sister has been natural all her life so its hard for them to understand at times.

So Big Sis thank you.... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Hey big sis...just wanted to check in and say hi