what they dont tell you

i wasn't prepared for this. i spent the last year transitioning. i wasn't prepared for this. i spent countless hours going from website to blog space gathering all the information i would need. i STILL wasn't prepared for this. i read 4-5 natural books and spent well over several hundred dollars on products and yet i wasn't ready. i even watched chris rocks film/ documentary "good hair" 2 days prior to my BC. i'm a newbie. i BC'd on december 30th 2009 (yes 4 days ago) and what happened to me i never read about and no one ever mentioned it.

i am ashamed. i dont know why. i have only left home once and when i did i had on a hat. i even called in sick to work. the psychological effect of the BC is so major. my wonderful-wonderful husband has been so encouraging and complimentary but there is something else there. there's this ugly-ness i fell that i cant seem to shake. i spent maybe an hour looking at myself in the mirror in my new state. yet in the morning when i woke i did not recognize the image looking back at me.

today i went to the local beauty supply store wearing my jcrew bucket hat. it covers everything even my eyes. what did i buy? a wig. i feel like a fraud and a phony. i have to go to work on monday AT ALL COSTS. and yet i almost feel like an anxiety attack is coming when i think of the ppl at work i will have to face when i arrive in my new natural state. i guess i wrote this to vent. but i'm hoping someone out there can relate to what i'm going through and can just say something encouraging to keep me on track.

hotep.

We (as people) are usually our biggest critics. Sometimes I leave the house thinking I look a hot mess and guess what....all I get are compliments on days like that. I am working on getting myself away from being so critical and instead constantly trying to exhibit confidence.

Where are the BC pics? Let us see.....

P.S. I think every natural has to have the accessory of big super fly earrings. You can't go wrong...

now i love shopping. i may have to buy a few pairs of earrings. i'd liek to post pix but i dont know how to dow that...

i dont think

here are the instructions...

Click on the image above that looks like a polaroid with a blue computer disk in front of it
-Browse your hard drive for the image, and click 'host it'
-Copy the 2nd (middle) code that says 'image', and paste it into the body of the text
-Click on the image above again to close the box

That's it

before BC

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

me now

Congrats on your BC!!!! You look so beautiful with your new do. You can really see your facial features.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. It may take a little while for you to adjust to your new look. For inspiration and encouragement, check out the Butters n Bars Challenge thread. There are several recent BCers (including me) with journals. You can even create your own.

If you haven't seen it already, look at this recent CurlyNikki post featuring the TWA inspiration videos Mahogany Curls created http://www.curlynikki.com/2010/01/2010-twa-inspirational-video.html

Hang in there! It gets better. Trust me!!!

thanks for the encouragement ladies. i re read my post and it sounds depressing. i will hang in there because my goal is clear.

@ traveljunkie08 i cant open the link :-(

@ NylaCoils thanx for helping me with the pic. i posted one pic but couldnt remember how to do it again. lol!

jzycaramel wrote:

@ traveljunkie08 i cant open the link :-(

There was an extra period in there. It should work now.

You look beautiful sis! Like Tia said we are our biggest critic. Just know that you are beautifully made and I personally think the BC is fly.

Aww honey i think your over reacting. Your hair is beautiful. You will get used to it i promise. Don't feel so down on yourself because you will be surprised at how half the women on this earth wish they had our courage to cut all our hair off and start from scratch. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

@ MsLizziA- i love this!!!

Those same people that call you crazy for rockn the natural, are going to be the same people that say " I wish i woulda went natural with you".... Never let anyone dictate your decision to rock what you were born with...

jzycaramel...I need you to go ahead and put that BC pic up as your avatar!

jzycaramel wrote:@ MsLizziA- i love this!!!

Those same people that call you crazy for rockn the natural, are going to be the same people that say " I wish i woulda went natural with you".... Never let anyone dictate your decision to rock what you were born with...

Oh thanks

jzy- girl get ready to get carded- you look like a baby doll! It looks really good on you!

I wont lie! It took me sometime to get used to my TWA- this is my third time going natural - previously I would transition for 6-9 mos. I can tell you, I do love it! You can see your facial features so much better! Rock the afro!

Here are the instructions one more time..
here are the instructions...I recommend that you put this in a word document and save it so you can refer to it until you get used to doing it (which usually doesn't take long) ;-)

Click on the image above that looks like a polaroid with a blue computer disk in front of it
-Browse your hard drive for the image, and click 'host it'
-Copy the 2nd (middle) code that says 'image', and paste it into the body of the text
-Click on the image above again to close the box

That's it

Ok, I have never BC'd myself so I cannot say I know how you feel but I can say that you are BEAUTIFUL. I was not logged on when I first read your post so I could not see pics. I had to log on because I was convinced I was going to see some wacked out wild looking person. When I saw your pic with the TWA I instantly thought, Wow she looks like a model. Your hair brings out your beautiful features. Hair cuts can be dramatic at any length but maybe calm down your thoughts and just look in the mirror. It looks great! Also before Monday roles around try going out so that your coworkers will not be the first ones to see you. Go out so that you can be comfortable with you hair being exposed. I think you are going to love it once you get use to it. Good Luck!

jzycaramel, you are tripping over nothing!!! (I say that with love) You look great with your BC. It seems all you are lacking is confidence....but I don't see any reason why you should lack that at all. You have a gorgeous face and the BC shows it off. Hold your head up high and proud...I had to scroll back up and look at your age because the BC makes you look really young, rock it girl!!

I am late to the party but you are beautiful!! I agree with what everyone has already said. Congrats on your BC and every since I did it I am on some ole major glam ish!! I am in love with me....and you will love it too!

go on and strut your stuff!!

Jzycaramel - I love your BC pic!! You sound like you need a hug ((cyber hug)). I know you will grow to love it but in the meantime...I say fake it until it's real. If you look confident, people will love it. Now that we have told how cute it is...just remember that.

I talk to myself in my head all the time when I am not sure if my hair is looking its best. Kinda like I'm my own hype man. "Everybody is looking because I look FLY" "They wish they could rock this natural like me" It may sound conceited but it works for me.

Let us know how it goes at work Monday.

@jzycaramel, you look AWESOME! It's important to get to the point where you believe that yourself, then others will, too! I love seeing the before and after pictures of women who've went natural. It's so clear to me why God made our hair that way...To me, we look so amazing with our curls, kinks, and coils! Rock it like you mean it! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

You look absolutely gorgeous with your TWA! You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're a Bad Mama Jama!!!!

@jzycaramel- I know how it can feel once you look in the mirror the first time(so I won't repeat it) but once I saw your BC pic I was stunned you look AMAZING don't get yourself down about your hair, it will grow and be beautiful, as it is now. Don't be ashamed to go outside, show the world how brave and beautiful you are. There are plenty of women who are scared to let scissors come near their head; and for you to join the women who have made the decision is liberating. Hold your head high and be proud. Enjoy your TWA! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

i was asleep when most of you responded but....

YOU SISTAS ARE AWESOME!!!!

its 730am on sunday (8am service- woo hoo) and i'm off to get my praise on and all of your words of encouragement have me crying. thanx.

u just made me take off my hat too!!! and u know a sista loves to rock her hat at church!!

jzycaramel..... your hair looks great!! Hold your head up high and have confidence in yourself. I recently BCed on Dec. 16th and I was initially shocked, but then I felt like a new me. Some people were supportive and others response was " why did you cut your hair?", but I wasnt seeking approval from others, because I did the BC for me. My son didnt like it initally and my husband was mad that I cut my hair, and told me he hated it, but that didnt matter to me. I loved my BC and thats all that mattered to me and I knew that I was on my way to healthier, beautiful hair, after years of continuing thinning and breakage.The best advice I can give you is, Believe in you, and remember your reason for going natural and let that be your anchor and confidence booster.

My Fotki http://www.fotki.com/dpfree