Naturals with Trichotillomania

This is quite personal and is the first time that I've ever announced this, but I am a natural with the disorder Trichotillomania. I have suffered with the disease since I was 8 years old; I am now 20 years old. The day I got an impromptu buzz cut (because of a skin fungal infection) was one of the happiest days of my life. I thought my issues with my hair could be resolved from that moment on, but unfortunately I was wrong. I must say that my pulling has gotten much less frequent than when I was permed, but I still have episodes that truly compromise the beauty of my hair. Whenever I go on hair blogs, I notice articles on how to combat breakage and hair loss, but never specifically addressing my particular issues.

Honestly, I love my hair and it has grown so strong and healthy, but episodes of pulling are really damaging my confidence and my overall appreciation for my hair. I'm just wondering if there are any other naturals like me or if I'm alone. If there are others, I would just like to know:

What do you do to prevent/lessen the severity episodes?
How do you style your hair when you create a new thinning/balding spot?
How do you stimulate growth? Because of my pulling, my hair follicles have become quite damaged, so I have issues with obtaining growth at normal rates.
How do you continue to love yourself and your hair despite being a sufferer of Trichotillomania?

I do care about my myself and my beautiful coily hair, but I just feel that I need some special guidance to help me cultivate it to its full potential. Can anyone out there help me out?

Thank you.

Hi,
I just read briefly about your condition. Are you in any support groups or on any medication for the compulsive behavior? Do you find you do it more when you are under stress? What exactly do you feel right before you have the urge to pull?

You might want to check out this thread on long hair community. http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=4854 You're not the only one struggling with this, maybe you can use some of the tips they offered on that site. On page 4, someone suggests:

I recently did some research on different homeopathic remedies that help with the urge to pull. The one that I tried is ignatia amara 30c. It says it is for "nervousness due to everyday stress." I haven't been taking it on a consistent basis, only when I feel the urge or catch myself pulling and it has really helped. I bought it a Whole Foods for $6.

And later someone links to this article that recommends N-acetylcysteine which is available at GNC and Vitamin Shoppe.

HTH.

I don't specifically hair pull, but I do pull apart my split ends, which is another form of Trichotillomania. I can spend hours in a trance, searching out and sometimes creating split ends in order to rip them up the length of my hair. I know it's killing my hair, the rest of my hair will grow but a square patch right up front will be ate up and choppy, won't curl, and is dried out. Because of this compulsion, I've done the big chop twice. I keep my hair in flat twist to keep it from hanging in my face, but eventually I will be on the computer or watching tv and there my hands go, up to my hair, splitting those ends. My family hates it. My sister also hair pulls, she actually pulls the hair out by the root. She has had several quarter sized patches in her hair/scalp. Eventually, she grew locks and that eliminated or at least hid some of the patches. It's difficult to stop. Don't have any remedies, just wanted to share. Thanks.

I too struggle with this disorder. I plan to make a post about this later and go more in depth. But if you would like to send me a pm, we can talk.

PS to zhair, Trich is genetic, so that's probably why you both do it.

Hi 4B Kinky,

You are definitely not alone. I have struggled with this disorder since around the age of 10. For a while I would only experience 1 or 2 episodes a yr...it started out with my eyebrows and lashes....but here recently (the past couple of yrs) it has been a huge struggle for me. I still sometimes have episodes that trigger pulling from my eyebrows or lashes, but now when I pull it's mostly from my head. No matter the location it seems to be triggered by a soreness sensation in the area. I pull from the root as well and there have been times when I've pulled as big as a quarter sized patch of hair right out of the center of my head. Over the yrs I've gotten pretty nifty with hiding the short patches (and thinning sides)...but this is definitely something that has hindered my BC. I'm going to whole foods tomorrow and plan to pick up some of the supplements mentioned in the post above...I'll let you know how it goes. One thing that has worked for me in the past is that once I realize what I'm doing I'll just stand up and try to find something else to occupy my mind. This has been a rough week. Hang in there girl.

Oh my gosh, I am crying right now. For so long I have hidden this from others, but now I finally feel normal and human. I know
that sounds cliche, but it is so true. When I first found out about the
disorder I was relieved. When I told my mom about why I always seem to have these bald spots, she just rejected the idea, and said that I was crazy...that really hurt a lot, so I went searching for support groups. However, most support
groups consisted of white people; I was so very disappointed at the lack of diversity in the forums I perused. No matter how long I searched, I just couldn't seem to find
another woman of color with my problem and felt so ugly and lonely.
Hearing your accounts and seeing that you all are beautiful women of color makes me feel sane and so very hopeful.

Wow, wow,wow...I am so overwhelmed right now. Well, I guess I should briefly state my experience:

When I feel the urge to pull, I too have this soreness feeling in the area of interest; I justify my pulling by telling myself, "it hurts there so you're only trying to soothe it". I don't know how that makes sense, but that's what I think. Sadly, the pulling actually causes sores on my tender scalp. When I was a young child and in high school, the pulling was insane and consistent; I was going through a lot of things and to make it worse I always hated my permed hair, no matter how long it got. Going natural drastically slowed down the pulling and made me feel like I could take control. Despite this feeling of slight freedom, the stresses of college life cause me to relapse, in particular during the wintertime. Whenever I feel like I'm not getting enough work done or not excelling to my potential or when I'm feeling just straight ugly on a particular day, I pull and I don't even realize it until I have a quarter sized ball spot on my head. My pulling occurs whenever I am feeling inadequate and it's like a subconscious, compulsive self-punishment (if that makes any sense). I hate it and keep trying different ways to control the urge, but have been failing: that is why I reached out through this forum. All of the naturals in this community are so wonderful and helpful, so I thought if anywhere I could find help or build a support group for women of color with this disorder, it would be here.

All in all, thank you, thank you, thank you for responding and sharing your experiences. I am so grateful and like I said, I finally feel like a sane human being.

Dear tressedforsucess,

thanks for that great article! I think I might go get that pill, but I will definitely have to read up on it.

Thanks a bunch

Dear Jucies-n-Berries,

Sorry what do you mean by pm? But I wouldn't mind talking with you, if it will help you write your post.

Thank you again for responding.

This all means so much to me.

Dear sweeTea2011,

I don't mean to be nosy, but is that man in the pic your significant other? Does he know of your struggle with trich?

I guess what I'm basically trying to get at is, I've never had a boyfriend or even flirted with boys, because I've always been so ashamed of my condition. There have been plenty of guys who I've thought were cute at my college, but I've kind of made myself a loner because I'm so scared of people finding out (I don't want them to react like my mother did). Not even my roommate, whom I love dearly, knows about my condition. How did you muster up the courage to date? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Sorry if I'm being too intrusive.

Dear Intelligentbeauty,

As far as medication, I honestly don't believe in taking psychiatric pills. I'm firm believer in trying a natural remedy before resorting to pharmaceutical medication; that is why I'm quite excited to try that N-acetylcysteine. I should mention, however, that I did privately go see a psychologist who really helped me to come to terms with the fact that I have trich. She also helped me pinpoint the incident that triggered the trich and why it was so bad when I was younger. I only met with her three times, but speaking with her helped me to realize that I can overcome the issue and not let it consume me. Now, I'm just seeking help to do so.

I totally understand why you wouldn't want to take pharmaceuticals. Even though I am a pharmacist, I do not believe pharmaceuticals are the answer to everything. And after further research on your condition, it doesn't seem like there is any medication(s) that could be considered as the "magic bullet" to take away this problem. However, I ran across a site and a blog just for this condition and I wanted to share the links with you. Maybe you can find helpful info there as well.

http://trich.org/about/ab-intro.html


http://blog.trich.org/

I will also pray for you and the other ladies on this thread that you will find healing from this condition.

You're not being intrusive at all...I am more than happy to answer your questions. Yes that is my boyfriend...we've been together for almost 5yrs. He is very aware of my struggle. It hurts him to see me pull and it hurts me even more because I can't tell him why I'm doing it. Like you, I somehow convinced myself that I was doing the right thing because eventually I would find that 1 hair that would make all of the pain go away...of course that 1 hair has yet to be located. I didn't realize that what I was going through was an actual disorder until last yr...I kind of diagnosed myself after extensive online research following a really bad episode I had during finals last fall (I'm a law student...never ending stress).

In the beginning of our relationship I tried to hide my pulling from him...I would go to the bathroom or wait until he was asleep...but eventually he realized what I was doing. I don't think he fully understands the disorder, but he does try to support/help me the best way he knows how....which for the most part consists of helping me stay aware of when I actually start pulling. It has definitely been a struggle for the both of us but through God's grace we are working through it. There have been times when he gets frustrated with me, and I in turn lash out at him for not just leaving me alone and allowing me fulfill my compulsive needs....luckily he cares enough to not just leave me alone. Hang in there girl...you will find someone that loves you for who you are.

Intelligentbeauty....your prayers are much needed and appreciated!!

Dear Yoli,

Thank you for answering my questions! I truly admire your take on your OCD/Tric...it's very different and inspiring. I pray that one day I, too, can learn to not let my tric define me; right now,sadly, it's really hard to consistently love myself and not let the shame of what I do to my hair dictate my daily attitude.

And Intelligentbeauty, thank you for your prayers and thank you for caring.

Hey girls!

Did you ladies see "Sins of the Mother" on Lifetime Movie Network? I'm watching it right now. One of the main charcaters has trichotillomania. Interesting.... this disorder is rarely brought to light. Tyra Banks had a really good show that included it, but that was the last time I personally saw it in the media.

ok, so this week has been particularly difficult for me and i relapsed heavily. Now a thinning spot that I had at the back of my head has turned into a bald patch about the size of a half dollar coin in the span of three days. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] right now i'm wearing a protective style and a knitted cap that covers the spot, but spring is coming soon and I can't wear these caps for long.

I wanted to know from you ladies:

How do you specifically promote growth in areas where you have pulled?

And yoli, you mentioned that you are very organized, which helps you reduce stress. Do you have any tips or advice that would help an overly-extended college student?

I'm hoping that by June I can promote some growth there and ameliorate some of the stressors around me that contribute to my pulling.

once again, thank you ladies for being simply awesome.

i dont have the same disorder as you but i do have one where i find myself picking at basically anything my brain deems out of place..which sucks cause i suffer from hyperpigmentation ( spelled wrong lol ) so i know how something like that can affect how you feel about your own personal beauty .. i have gotten my issue under somewhat of control i clip my nails really short and if it gets super bad i will sit on my hands sometimes i do it and dont even realize that im picking .. but i still annoy my husband by digging in his ears or picking lent off of his shirt.. its like i see some thing and feel its out of place and i will stare at it till " fix " it .. i think its a mild case of ocd but glad you feel support on this site .. i love this site it has given me the desire to work on not only my hair but not picking my face or other things .. good luck with not pulling hair and stuff

Hi @4bKinky

Sorry for the delay. I've had a hard 2 weeks...and guess what? I have a thinning spot from twirling and "unknotting" my transitioning hair in my favorite spot on my head. I've also been straightening up the entire apartment everyday--lol

Well, some stress is unavoidable. I couldn't control my sister going into the hospital, or the crazy people at my job-- There will be some things 4BKinky that are uncontrollable.

But remember I said OCD can be a superpower? Learning to plan ahead can help everyone--especially an over taxed college student. I remember those days. Plus being a teacher myself, I see over taxed students everyday. LOL Planning ahead helps me alleviate some of my pressure—like what’s for dinner, do I have any clean socks, and where are my keys—down to no-brainer activities.

Not waiting to work on projects until the last minute is one key. Prioritize study session based on deadlines. You know when your tests are in college, so don’t wait until the last week to study for all your midterms or exams. Also, "know what you know"--spend more time studying your weaker areas and less time trying to study everything.

When picking classes, talk to other students who know the professor, or syllabus. Don't take 2 or 3 extra heavy classes at the same time if you don't have to.

Pick a day not to work on school work--work on yourself. How stressful is it when you’re late for class and have no clean underwear? Take a day to "destress" from school work and just do the necessary things, like cook, clean, wash, ect. And don't forget to food shop. Buy healthy foods, and take your vitamins. A nutritional imbalance can make you susceptible to becoming over stressed. Planning out what your’ going to wear and eat for the week sounds “OCD crazy”, but it’s not. It’s just efficient, and will save you time and stress later. Plus you’ll end up eating and looking better than if you didn’t.

Pick a day, half a day, or evening, to just hang out. Friends and laughter are great to help with the stress--but not so much that it makes you panicked to get everything else done. Why not roll it into a club event, like, I don’t know, doing the charity car wash for the Student Government while hanging out? Kills two birds with one stone, while you have fun! Also, don't under estimate just taking an afternoon to yourself.

Make sure you’re not involved in too many extracurricular activities. Make a big master list of all your important dates for the month, classes, work schedule, add in your study session, afternoon with your girlfriends, cleaning/cooking/ect. time.... now add in the extra circular stuff that you might "like" but may not be necessary. If you can't fit them in and STILL get the proper amount of sleep every night, something might have to go.

Learn to tell people "No, I'm sorry, I can't do that. Too busy!" With a smile of course!

And don't kick yourself if you let something slip, or you don't get through your "to do" list. College is about an entire experience--grades, opportunities, fun, and growth. Balance is not always easy--and sometimes not always possible. That's OK. Life will go on, and you'll be fine, just enjoy the ride--trust me! :-)

@Jazz

Nice avatar picture! Have you heard of Dermatillomania? It's the counterpartner of Trichotillomania, and it's another form of OCD. I pick at the skin over ingrown hairs--a constant battle. When I was little my fingers would be raw from picking the skin to take out the ingrown hair, then pulling the hair, becaue "hair didn't belong there"--or anywhere but my head, eyebrows, or eyelashes. I cut my fingernails, and also got thick acrylic tips for years, to make it hard to do this. :-(

I still fight Dermatillomania, but it's not as bad. I don't keep fake nails, or cut down my own, anymore--still not as bad as years ago. I don't pick at my husband... he'd probably slap my hand. LOL

yoli, thanks for the wonderful advice! These past two weeks have been difficult again, but I can't seem to pinpoint what is getting me so particularly flustered and distracted...sometimes things just get so difficult that I feel that I shouldn't even have hair; I just wanna shave it all off. I haven't had a head full of hair since I was 8-9 years old. I am striving to reach that state again...that is my goal for this year and the years to come.

@4bKinky I am sorry to hear that. I hope by now you've been able to kick some of that stress away.

Do you have a hobby?

Shaving your head? Well, I (my husband) did cut the back of my hair near the nape into this sharp cut so no one noticed any thinning. It was a few weeks ago, and it's growing back now. People just thought: There she goes changing her hair again! LOL Now I'm NOT telling you to shave your head--I'm just saying it's your hair! Beautiful hair isn't measure in inches!

As for your hair goals--you can get there! I'm sure all of the gals on this site who know what you're going through will support you! Have you considered joining a OCD support group? You can get a referral from a doctor or Health Dept.... or just search a site like Meetup.com??

My support group is my fists! I like working out--hard-- when I get stressed. Particularly love kickboxing. I'm thinking of taking karate!!! "Take that stress! HiYA Tric!"