HELP ladies, need advice! grandmother messed up my baby girls hair

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HELP ladies, need advice! grandmother messed up my baby girls hair

Post by kbelle on 14th June 2010, 4:45 pm

Okay ladies I really need your help! (Please forgive the repeat if you saw this on the General forum!!!)

First all, I am really picky about who does my daughters hair and I "tolerate" her grandmother (my in-law) styling it when it's a long weekend or something, but that's about it.
Well, she spent some time with her grandmother last week while socializing with the other grandkids and when we went to pick her up, she admitted to me that she washed it [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] .
Keep in mind, she is a permy like all her life and I know what's in her product line! And, I don't even want to know what the detangling session was like because I will cry.

But, the problem is that she put her hair into three braids AFTER using uncoated rubber bands while it was wet so it was obviously pulled too tight. My daughter just turned 3 and has very fine strands and curly 3-b/c like hair. Now the sides of her hair along her hairline has small white bumps. And on one side is so bad that she is almost in tears if you even gently style it [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] . It broke my heart.

My husband told me to just tell her to not wash it, ... well don't worry, I will AGAIN remind her when DD visits again ... just couldn't do it right then how I really wanted to or the in-law relations would have been shot. I did just tell her that her hair is particular and she shouldn't have to wash it when I drop her off and shuffled her back home to try to repair the damage. She apologized, but I just had to leave!

The problem is ... how do I treat the bumps on her hairline. It even looks like her hair is thinner in parts so I bet she didn't know how to handle her curls after she washed it. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Help me help my baby girl!!!

Sorry so long --- but i know the mommas out there understand my plea!
kbelle
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Re: HELP ladies, need advice! grandmother messed up my baby girls hair

Post by DreamMerchant on 14th June 2010, 11:15 pm

Poor baby! I am not an expert but all yo can do right now is try to soothe the white bumps. Those white bumps are actually the hair follicle pulling out at the root right? I would lightly oil those spots and not rub them or massage them. I really believe that the white bumps will go away in a couple of days. I did that before a couple of months ago when I did some flat twists and banded at the root too tight near my glasses. The next day when I woke up, I had those white bumps and they itched like crazy. I dabbed olive oil on them and did not touch that area for a week. They went away. Your daughter will heal so no worries!
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Re: HELP ladies, need advice! grandmother messed up my baby girls hair

Post by kbelle on 15th June 2010, 12:26 pm

Thanks for the tips, I think I will try the oil too. It doesn't take much to make her a grease ball in the head with oil, but I think I will do it at night.
I have been moisturizing her scalp in that area. The bumps are gone now, but until yesterday it was still very tender in that area.
I just have her hair twisted and will probably keep it that way and lightly retwist for another week.
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Re: HELP ladies, need advice! grandmother messed up my baby girls hair

Post by LaToya28 on 15th June 2010, 10:27 pm

I'm so sorry this happened to your baby. I'm glad that the bumps have gone away. I would just continue to minimize the tension on those areas. Can you braid it up when she goes to visit grandma?

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Re: HELP ladies, need advice! grandmother messed up my baby girls hair

Post by kbelle on 16th June 2010, 1:11 am

I am considering braiding it when she goes there. The only thing is that her hair is so fine and soft and doesn't hold very well. She is truly a "3" as far as the mystery of hair typing is concerned with probably a little 2 type in there. She has the natural curl with little product, but also soft so braids hold for maybe 2 days (especially with my beginner skills too). I have to give her protein treatments to keep it from getting mushy at times when ironically I have to run fast away from protein and my hair is quite dense and always has been, so that probably gives you an idea of her hair type.
So, I am definitely looking for more styles that will last at least for the weekend.
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Re: HELP ladies, need advice! grandmother messed up my baby girls hair

Post by Notthecoolmom on 16th June 2010, 9:51 pm

kbelle,

I'm sorry to hear this happened. I would put a little oil on the area and maybe braid or twist downward to keep the tension low.

My mom tries to help...I try to tell her that little bit doesn't cry when I do her hair and I don't put grease in it. Almost every time she tries to take the braids out and she says little bit won't sit still (she's not quite 2 yet).

What she doesn't hear a lot of the time is that we only wash her hair before she goes to bed and I do her hair right after it's washed. I only detangle on wet hair, I use leave-in conditioner, oils and maybe a pomade and we watch Noggin, Sprout, PBS Kids or Disney while it's being done. No tears, no crying, no whining to play.
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Re: HELP ladies, need advice! grandmother messed up my baby girls hair

Post by willi77 on 22nd March 2011, 12:09 pm

I have a similar situation. Since before going natural and now, I’ve been noticing that my step-daughter’s is really dry and that her mom braids it too tight (white bumps often appear). Her edges are thinning badly and her hair is breaking off - she is only nine. I try to wash it as much as I can, deep treat it and seal the moisture as much as I can, but she is not at our house all the time. Therefore her mom, often damages her hair over and over again.
It’s so bad that she tells me, that I likes the way to comb my hair because you don’t hurt me or pull my hair out. Her mom does not listen and from what I can see is killing her daughter’s hair. This breaks my heart especially since going natural myself and researching how to be gentle and how important it is to nourish our hair.
I’m now at the point where I’m trying to teach her about her own hair and treating it with respect. It seems to be seeping in, but it doesn’t help when her mom doesn’t seem to care.
Any suggestions are welcome…

Last perm - May 8, 2010
Big chop - Feb. 19, 2011
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