Do naturals hate women with relaxers, texturizers, ect?

Okay so I just tried washing my hair myself today. (usually I need my mom to help since it's so thick ;_; I can never see if I got all the product out!)

And conditioning it, and putting it into braids..............and my arms are like all worn out, LOL. As sad as that is haha, and Im someone who teaches baseball for a summer job -.- yet dealing my hair put strain on my arms, LOL.

Anyways that's not really the point, but I don't understand why I don't know how to handle my natural hair better...?? Honestly it annoys me that women that have had more relaxers than me and haven't had their hair natural as long as I have know how to handle their own hair better than me. lol I don't understand why that is, no matter how many sites for naturals I read I never seem to get anything right when it comes to my hair ;_;

I was thinking of 'texlaxing' my hair, just to help with some of the shrinkage after washing....but I really really really don't want to use any chemicals....I love some of the big healthy looking afros and stuff that I see but I don't even know how to make my hair into a nice looking afro -.- lol and my hair is about armpit length when I stretch it. So I have alot of hair to work with but I don't know how. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

but I know I'm going to have to do my own hair when I start college and move away lol and I have been thinking about something called thermal reconditioning. From this salon "hairs talent. But I am not looking at the straight thermal reconditioing. I was thinking this part might be good? I could still wear afro's with it maybe.

Specialized Curly Perms
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]				Mini Thermal Reconditioning
				Thio base relaxer You can still enjoy the body and fullness in your hair. The mini TR will help to eliminate frizz and curl with out weighing down your hair.

its called a mini-thermal reconditioning. I don't know anything about chemicals or anything like that.

This is the salons site.
http://www.hairstalent.com/services/index.htm


Can you guys tell me what you think?? do you think that type of thermal reconditioning for very curly hair would be good for my thick 4A/4B hair?

sorry for the long post >.< I tend to ramble T.T lol I am just having such a hard time these days dealing with my hair. I'm tempted to shave it. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] but really it's just the shrinkage that I cannot deal with well. =(

Natural hair is PRONE to shrinkage, some more than others. If you're a "4a/4b" (I use quotations because I don't do the hair typing thing), then your hair is most likely VERY prone to shrinkage. And there's NOTHING wrong with that. However, hair type is has little to do with your hair's CHEMISTRY, which ultimately decides how your hair reacts to certain things. "Type" defines how it LOOKS, not necessarily its BEHAVIOR.

Your hair is behaving as a typical head of natural hair would when exposed to water: which is SHRINK as it dries.

If you want to MINIMIZE shrinkage, try using products with a heavy or thick consistency to weigh the hair down when you braid it. Also, if you're putting your hair in medium to small braids, try LARGER braids. YouTuber Kimmaytube has TWO videos about her regimen, where she shows you how she conditions AND stretches her hair to cut down on shrinkage. She says her hair type is the same as yours; it'll be worth checking out.

As for the thermal conditioning stuff, I would highly suggest you do your homework on it BEYOND that website. Salons tend to say one thing in their marketing but do something ENTIRELY different once you're in the chair.

LadyMika wrote:Natural hair is PRONE to shrinkage, some more than others. If you're a "4a/4b" (I use quotations because I don't do the hair typing thing), then your hair is most likely VERY prone to shrinkage. And there's NOTHING wrong with that. However, hair type is has little to do with your hair's CHEMISTRY, which ultimately decides how your hair reacts to certain things. "Type" defines how it LOOKS, not necessarily its BEHAVIOR.

Your hair is behaving as a typical head of natural hair would when exposed to water: which is SHRINK as it dries.

If you want to MINIMIZE shrinkage, try using products with a heavy or thick consistency to weigh the hair down when you braid it. Also, if you're putting your hair in medium to small braids, try LARGER braids. YouTuber Kimmaytube has TWO videos about her regimen, where she shows you how she conditions AND stretches her hair to cut down on shrinkage. She says her hair type is the same as yours; it'll be worth checking out.

As for the thermal conditioning stuff, I would highly suggest you do your homework on it BEYOND that website. Salons tend to say one thing in their marketing but do something ENTIRELY different once you're in the chair.

I wouldn't mind the shrinkage if I wore my hair out more, but if I wash my hair in braids, the braids shrink up also, and tangle.....although it does make it a bit easier I still lose alot of hair. I wear braids, and its hard for my mom to braid my hair when it shrinks up like that so she usually uses heat on my hair to 'pull it out' more which I don't like but I can't braid so I can't argue I guess ;_;

As for products, I don't really know what products are heavy or not?? but most products once they touch my hair if they have any amount of water in them will cause it to shrink up more lol.
it seems like even if the comb glides through my hair like it did tonight after co-washing I lose lots of hair still [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

As far as hair loss, look for the white bulb--if you see it on one of the ends, it is a shed hair, meaning it was time for it to go. Naturally we shed up to 100 hairs a day. Considering you don't detangle daily, what you think is TONS of hair many not be much at all! Also, how do you detangle? I can't detangle unless my hair is soaking wet and FULL of conditioner. When my mom used to braid my hair, she always had a spray bottle with water and some leave in conditioner in it, making my hair easier to comb, part, and braid.

As Mika pointed out (GIRL, LOVIN' the 2nd BC btw), shrinkage is part of a natural's life. I don't know anyone able to escape it--and if you find her, let me know, 'cause we need to talk!

It sounds like you haven't fully established a routine.... although the process can be time consuming, once you find a regimen that works for you, the hair process isn't that bad or long.

I recommend you taking the time to work through your routine first before considering any chemical process. Research would be key as well. As was stated, you really won't know what the stylist will do to your hair until you're in the chair--and by then, it may be too late =(

CurlieCutes1121 is correct, you just need a regimen so that you can get your hair in line. I can say one thing.. I appreciate you coming out and asking these questions. I have seen you start another thread and I love the fact that you dare to ask..

Now about that website Mike (I to think your BC is hot) is correct when she says you HAVE to look beyond the site. I did not keep it open that long because I saw only one African American woman and she had a perm. My hair comes out to some but I have to be obedient to it.

If you listen to your hair then you will be able to see the dos and donts. Trust YOU HAIR WILL TELL YOU!! I made a mistake by puttin mousse in my hair and it dried up felt hard and uncomfortable. I had to DC, wash and apologize.

I use my shrinkage because like you my arms get tired, and I work long hours, and in school so me styling is not a big option. So I just wash pic out and put a scarf around it. If you want to spend money and go to a shop look for a natural one. And FYI if you shave your hair off. that is not a big problem either. BC is great!! That is another subject.. But I can tell you.... It opened my mind up and I feel (and act) BRAND NEW!!

What about trying henna? Many women have reported a curl loosening effect from henna (due to the fact that it coats the hair strand, weighs it down with each successive application). Henna is completely natural and has a conditioning and strengthening effect on hair.

Henna stopped my excessive shedding right in its tracks too!

I wear braids all the time and always wash in big braids and then rebraid into smaller braids for the week.

Do you ever prepoo? with oil & cap or condish & cap for a few hours or overnight? Do you moisturize daily?

Also are you manipulating all of your hair when you wash it or just rubbing the scalp? Anytime I forget I have curly hair and try to wash my hair like the shampoo commercials I get super tangled hair lolol...and you could try washing your hair in twists to give your arms a rest lol

and maybe you need a conditioner with more slip?

be patient...learning your hair is a trial and error process...i know plenty of relaxed heads who have gone thru the same thing...they have been relaxed since young and still havent figured out proper moisture balancing or why their hair is shedding or breaking...that's why they have just as many blogs/forums as natural heads lol

I would also really research the salon and the thermal reconditioning process. Also look at your hair and figure out the current state...is it really dry or damaged etc? You wouldn't want to put chemicals on hair that is not in its healthiest state.

sorry for the long post hope something i said helps

those are really good tips...im going to using some of those as well...thanks curlies!!

Well, although it is totally your decision on get some sort of chemical process done to your hair, remember that over time, I can do more damage than good...Looks like you need a natural big sis to help you along the way! By establishing a good routine that consists of getting the right moisturizing shampoo, conditioner, leave in and styling aid will definitely help you. We all learn something new everyday and it's okay to feel frustrated at times...we all go through periods were we feel we can't do ANYTHING to make our hair behave!!

Thanks for all the advice ladies ^^

I think I do need a better routine, and I'm pretty pissed today that my scalp is dirty o.0 I don't think this co-washing thing is really for me. I mean I just scratched my scalp and got dirt under my nails >.< so I'm going to go wash with my Dr bronners shikakai soap.

As for the relaxer or thermal thing, I've seen plenty of women on LHCF and BHM with thick long heads of relaxed or texlaxed, and some texturized hair. I think the health of your hair depends on how you take care of it. As for that salon, I know women in my family with thick BSL and way past that hair that have been going to "Gina" for years, most of them are older though.
I don't think I'll be spending money for someone else to do my hair any time soon since I'd rather buy shoes and clothes rather than consistently pay for touch ups or whatever. ^^

But there are women with thick, long hair that isn't dry and breaking off constantly who relax, texlax, ect.

I guess I am going to just try to look for a way to reduce the shrinkage without pulling a ton of my hair out at the same time >.<

Hey Tutukia you should post a avatar or pics so we can see what you are working with.. It may help a lil. But everyone has given you GREAT advice. Keep it up though hun.

TutuKia wrote:Thanks for all the advice ladies ^^

I think I do need a better routine, and I'm pretty pissed today that my scalp is dirty o.0 I don't think this co-washing thing is really for me. I mean I just scratched my scalp and got dirt under my nails >.< so I'm going to go wash with my Dr bronners shikakai soap.

As for the relaxer or thermal thing, I've seen plenty of women on LHCF and BHM with thick long heads of relaxed or texlaxed, and some texturized hair. I think the health of your hair depends on how you take care of it. As for that salon, I know women in my family with thick BSL and way past that hair that have been going to "Gina" for years, most of them are older though.
I don't think I'll be spending money for someone else to do my hair any time soon since I'd rather buy shoes and clothes rather than consistently pay for touch ups or whatever. ^^

But there are women with thick, long hair that isn't dry and breaking off constantly who relax, texlax, ect.

I guess I am going to just try to look for a way to reduce the shrinkage without pulling a ton of my hair out at the same time >.<

If co-washing doesn't work, girl get some shampoo!!! LOL
I've finally tweaked my routine for me, so now I shampoo once a month. In between 'poos I'll co-wash with conditioner and baking soda to get the gunk out of my hair. So even with the co-washing, for me pooing is what clarifies my hair completely. Every curly is different.

Like I said before, definitely tweak your routine, because it seems like maybe your hair may need more moisture. If you do decide on a chemical process, that routine will help you take care of your relaxed/telaxed hair as well. I've had two texturizers in the past and I've found that my routine had to be "beefed" up so to speak to care for my hair, since not only was I working with hair that was fragile by nature (as afro-textured hair is), but I (then) had the chemical process on top of it!

Long story short--get your routine down for YOU. If your struggling now, the chemical process may make shrinkage/manageability easier, but the health of your hair could suffer....

I was going to suggest a baking soda or Apple Cider rinse. I did my first Apple Cider rinse last week, and it was awesome! Good for my shampoo alternative. I'm not anti shampoo.... use it if you need too! Lol

After reading your post on someone else's thread and coming back here, I just want to reiterate that yes you can have long and thick hair even with a relaxer. In fact, MANY of the women on this site never had issues with a relaxer and went natural BY CHOICE. Everyone is natural for a different reason. We are all here because we want healthy hair. If you choose to go the chemical route, you are more than welcome. And no one will hate you for it. This isn't a site full of natural militants that want to send everybody to the natural hair factory. We accept everybody. However, like posters have said, while one can achieve long healthy hair with a relaxer, it may require extra care. Furthermore, lots of times, hair growth is a genetic issue, so it may not matter one way or another. I hope you find what you are looking for and I hope you take the advice to heart that you recieve on this forum.

Btw, I actually know someone who uses a thio relaxer. From my understanding from her, it's just like every other relaxer, but she says it doesn't burn. As in it's not going to loosen you curl like a texturizer but actually relax and release the curl pattern. Her hair is straight and quite thin though. But she apparently likes the results. Hope that helps.

Thermal reconditioning is like any other relaxer obviously if you're relaxing straight with either it's basically going to be the same result. I could get a texturizer effect on my hair with a relaxer left on for half the time, or less. And I could get 'texturizer effect' or simple loosening of my curl pattern with T.R. with the product left on for less time and with a buffer of some sort.

I have aunts who use thermal reconditioning and have thicker longer hair that most naturals I see honestly. If your friends hair it's thin then it's either her doing something wrong, or that's just how her hair reacts to chemicals. My hair has been long and thick with a plain relaxer, and is back to being long and thick without one aswell so I'm fairly sure how my hair would react to a thermal reconditioning.

I even know a few friends of the family who got TR done (straight) in Asia, although that is pretty risky they got lucky and it turned out nicely lol. I'm just shocked someone in Asia would agree to do it on AA textured hair. I guess as long as they warn you first that it might come out horrible, you can't sue xD lmao.

Anyways I'm going to look into the "Mini-TR" not the full TR for a simple loosening of my curl pattern not a texturizer effect which for some people is two different chemical processes lol - the stylist at that salon is a good friend to alot of women in my family, I have zero reason to not trust her methods. She just request that I come to see her or send pictures before a consult. so that she can get an idea of my texture/curl pattern and the condition my hair is in. =P

If you don't mind me asking, how long does that process last? With you going away to school, is that going to be something you can keep up while in the grind of a semester? Are there ways to "stretch it out" so to speak in between treatments?