Newbie - Happy to Transition; Terrified of the Process

Hi Everyone,

I have decided to transition back to natural hair. I have about 8 weeks of new growth, but I normally go about 8 weeks between relaxers, so I am mentally ok for now. My hair is actually okay the way it is. The length is a little past my shoulders, I have my natural color, it is super healthy, thick, and very low maintenance. I just wrap my hair at night, take it down in the morning, and however it falls is how I wear it. This takes no more than 1 minute at night and 1-2 minutes every morning.

I decided to go natural because of an awakening that I have been going through for a while now. It's all about wellness and balance right now in my life.

Despite the fact that I have absolutely no idea of my natural hair texture (have had relaxers since I was too young to remember) I really am not worried about how my natural hair will turn out. I am CRAZY confident in my ability to love and accept myself, which is kind of what prompted me to go natural. I am by no means "rebellious," but it just did not sit right with me - as confident a person as I am, why do I feel the need to permanently alter anything about my natural state just for the sake of making other people more comfortable? The fact that I just got married and am looking to have children one day just emphasized that more for me. Plus, I am just really curious about my natural hair.

Here is what has me terrified. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO STYLE HAIR (even my relaxed hair). I just don't do anything to it. I go to the salon every other Sat. morning for a wash, deep conditioner and style, and that is how it will look until I go back. No flat irons or curling irons in the interim. Just wraps, rollers and the occassional pin curls until my next visit. I washed my own hair all through college and school, but again, just roller set or blowdried it and kept it moving. This is why I believe so many people have relaxers; not trying to conform so much as relaxers are just so convenient. I do not know of any good natural salons in Atlanta. Every salon that "does natural hair" here (that I know of) uses the same products that they use on relaxed hair and really pushes the blow out/flat iron combo which I am not into (I normally wear roller sets and absolutely do not allow a lot of heat on my hair). They are bent on training my hair to lay flat.

Do you think that my inexperience with styling my hair will make it harder for me to get into styling my natural hair? I do not want to look "crazy by the head" and yes, I have seen many of our natural sisters, just like I have seen many of our relaxed sisters, who look "crazy by the head." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I have been lurking here for a while and it seems like a lot of time goes into doing hair. I love the look of hair when you can tell that it has been loved properly and I want to love it properly. But, unlike my currently relaxed tresses, it seems that I am going to have to rely on developing my own hair care skills to get through this transitioning/natural thing, where I am used to just running to the salon. As I look through the really pretty styles you ladies manage to pull off, I question my capabilities to do the same. On the other hand, I am kind of excited to take matters into my own hands. I think that, regardless of my hair type, if I can just discover the right products (which sounds like is no easy feat) and get this styling thing under wraps, I'll be ok.

I am really excited (and anxious) about this new journey in my life. The support system you guys have here is great and much needed. I will definitely be alone in the support area. No one is "not supporting me" per se, but it is good to have active support from similar situated ladies. My new husband is terrified about my transitioning because he just does not understand why "you would mess with a good thing." Also, he "has no interest or desire in that natural look," but as my aunt always told me "men don't know what they like; you have to show them what they like." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Overcoming his apprehension is going to be a challenge for me since he is strong in his opinions, but I am equally strong in my determination.

[b]I guess step 1 is the right products, right? Since I am fairly new, when do I really need to begin using products for natural hair? Also, when did you start really having to wear "transitioning styles"? Finally, how long does it normally take to do your hair at night and in the morning?

Thanks so much for your reading this very long post and for your replies.

Good morning Monnie,

Congratulations on your new nuptuals and may God bless you and your husband with a life filled with love and happiness together.

I'm glad that you decided to transition to natural hair. In my opinion it's easier to manage because you're not as reliant on another person to care and condition your hair. When I wore my hair relaxed I got touch ups every 6-8 wks and wash/sets every two weeks. Girl do you know how much I spent to maintain that straight look?! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I eventually got tired of spending money to pay someone to take care of my hair, my hair! I was convinced that I couldn't wash my own hair because it wouldn't come out right like it did at the salon. I started to cringe at the thought of doing my hair, so I got my first partial weave in 2008. After that, I wore partial then finally full weaves until I took down my last install in November'09.

While I wore weaves, I researched about transitioning and learned so much. I was excited to know that my hair would grow longer and healthier if I removed those chemicals out of my regimen. I kept my hair underneath moisturized by cowashing, moisturizing w/an H2O based moisturizer and sealing the hair with oils. My hair was so moist when I took out and I loved the texture of my new growth. Now I look forward to the BC in March 2010.

The best advice I've read, is once you decide to go natural, start treating your hair as if it were completely natural. Use products that will add moisture not remove. Get rid of products that contain harsh sulfates, mineral oil, petroleum, parabans, and certain alcohols. Minimize your use of silicones and cowash instead of shampooing. Most importantly, keep those ends moist! You'll read so many product reviews along you're journey but remember 2 heads of hair are not the same. What may work for some may not work for others and that's ok. Just be patient and give your mane the TLC it deserves. Congratualtions Newbie Natural. Have a happy and healthy New Year.

p.s. check Youtube for style ideas. I love CurlyChronicles, PrettyDimples01, and ItsMsHeatherNicole. Also head over to NaturallyCurly.com and visit their hair forums for more tips.

Wow. I decided to stop by the local CVS on my way home from work today to practice my "label-reading skills." I was in the hair care isle for a very long time I walked out with nothing more than a big headache (and a pack of gum). There are so many products out there and it seems like even the products that said "organic" have ingredients that we are warned to stay away from. I think I need to do some more research and write down exactly what products I plan to purchase before I go to the store. It really was overwhelming.

I just did my first shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner, leave-in conditioner and styling. I did a roller set. My hair is still in the rollers now so I don't know how they will come out, but it was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. The entire time I was washing my head all I could think about was how much money and time I was saving by doing my hair myself. Now of course if my hair comes out looking crazy in the morning I may be singing a different tune, but I think I am committed to doing my own hair (nobody loves you like you do, right?). Seriously though, I am sort of mad at myself for spending all my money and wasting ALL my time in a salon for something I can clearly do myself. Bad Monnie , but you live and you learn.

So, let's see how that hair turned out?

Caring for your hair is trial and error. As you go along you will be begin to profect your skills and each time they will get better and better. Why not start a journal and write down what products you use, how you styled your hair - and how it turned out. This way down the road you can eliminate a lot of products that your hair don't like. Also you might find that your natural hair likes a certain product and the relaxed hair don't? So some products you may want to revisit once you are fully natural.

I've learned that I won't know the full extent of what my hair likes and dislikes until I'm 100% natural. I plan to BC in May once I've reached 18mths of transitioning.

Thank BBD. The roller set came out "okay." Not great at all, but better than I expected, which was a pleasant surprise. I actually just started a fotki a few days ago to journal my progress and I can already tell that keeping a journal is going to make this journey a lot easier for me. I posted pics of my roller set in the album and documented my thought on the products used. Please check out the pics and tell me what you think.

www.fotki.com/MiracleGro