Lady Mika--The Locs Start HERE. (lol) Leaving the interwebs for a while.

Hi Mika, glad to hear you do not stress over family life. You have to look out for you so I understand how you feel. People will think what they will think regardless of what you do.

Hair is looking great. I love your mixes. I'm going to try the shealoe mix with oils, sound great. Shea is a fickle product for me.

WhosThatRedHead wrote:gels don't work well in my hair either

Hey there! Yeah, I'll be laying off/giving away the gel again. Especially since I'll be braided up by the end of the month--won't have much need for gel with braids in my hair. (Except for aloe vera gel, which my hair DOES like. Will have to look into that.)

Karyn wrote:>_> i just read all of your man fails lmao. i could actually relate to that second sob cause my ex would do something terrible (knock my teenage self-esteem down, cheat on me etc etc etc) and then have the audacity to blame me hahahaha. it feels SO good to be outta that mess; i'm just glad it happened when i was 14 and hopefully, it won't happen again haha

At least you know EARLY to avoid that kind of shite. Let's just say my mother didn't exactly prepare me for that foolishness soon ENOUGH. I pretty much had to give MYSELF a crash course in dating and TEN YEARS LATER I finally got it right. My boyfriend's not perfect (lazy bastard) but I'm definitely happy.

krazy coils wrote:Hey Mika,

Gypsy is growing and looking gorgeous!

Hey KC! Thanks for stopping by!

ChrsLvsBks wrote:Hi Mika, glad to hear you do not stress over family life. You have to look out for you so I understand how you feel. People will think what they will think regardless of what you do.

Hair is looking great. I love your mixes. I'm going to try the shealoe mix with oils, sound great. Shea is a fickle product for me.

You're absolutely right: they're perpetually unsatisfied. Unsatisfied with other people, and most of all with THEMSELVES. I don't have the room for that kind of madness in my life, and that's precisely what it is: MADNESS. When they do some soul searching and come to terms with themselves, MAYBE I'll consider talking to them. Until then, they just do not/will not exist in my world. (And to tell you the truth, it's probably better that way.)

Thank you! Half my mixes I get from YouTube (the base ingredients, then I tweak/substitute with what I have). Shea butter is my holy grail; can't live without the stuff. I think you might like the shealoe plus the oils. Definitely helps with the sealing aspect of the mix.

i just read ur man fails too...sooo entertaining lol...im glad you found your mr. right though, and he sounds like a great protector, and he makes u happy so def a win there...gypsy is growing nicely...ur curls are so cute! when i get those oils im gonna try your aloe grow mix...i was in the vitamin shoppe the other day and i think i smelled a couple of the ones you mentioned and they are strong lol

Hey LadyM...

I don't have time to get caught up right now, but I had to come by and say hi!!

LOL @ you calling the BF lazy!! You are too funny!! Most are lazy I thought!! ROTFL

I'll come back tonight and get all caught up!!

Have a great week!!



KNH

iri9109 wrote:i just read ur man fails too...sooo entertaining lol...im glad you found your mr. right though, and he sounds like a great protector, and he makes u happy so def a win there...gypsy is growing nicely...ur curls are so cute! when i get those oils im gonna try your aloe grow mix...i was in the vitamin shoppe the other day and i think i smelled a couple of the ones you mentioned and they are strong lol

I'm glad I found my boyfriend too! We've already been dropping the "M"(arriage) word (been together 2 1/2 years), so yeah! We're happy. Thank you for the compliment! Those oils ARE pretty strong--you don't need to use a lot (5 to 10 drops). I also add rosemary and lavender to it so it wouldn't smell AS medicine-ny.

KinkyNappyHappy wrote:Hey LadyM...

I don't have time to get caught up right now, but I had to come by and say hi!!

LOL @ you calling the BF lazy!! You are too funny!! Most are lazy I thought!! ROTFL

I'll come back tonight and get all caught up!!

Have a great week!!



KNH

Hey KNH!

Naw, The Brit is REAL lazy. It's like pulling teeth to get him to do ANYTHING he's supposed to. It's like "damn, you don't do SHITE do you??" And he's just like "Nope."

Have a great day today!

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM YOUR THREAD IS AWESOME!!!! i don't think we've met but CLEARLY i need to come thru here more often!!! your hair is gorgeous too! i'll have to check the link when i get home....

(job blocked FB...how dare they??!)

Hello all.

It's been a few days. Let's recap a little, shall we?

This past week has found me re-evaluating a few things: essentially, where I stand as an individual amongst OTHER and certain individuals. As an esteemed colleague of mine says, "Trust yourself, and do the necessary exorcisms.". And that is what's going to be done. And if these certain individuals don't like it, then that's just too damned bad. I don't like bullshit. I also don't like bullshit from individuals who've been TOLD, TIME AND TIME AGAIN to cease their nonsense in my presence. They're gettin' the CHOP, and that's that.

Now on to the subject title: WHAT TO DO WITH GYPSY??

Honestly, I don't know what to do with her. The weather is cooling down finally, but I'm getting really weary of the same damn hair style everyday despite the length. I'm trying to wait until at least the beginning of October before installing my yarn braids, but the impatience and the BOREDOM with my hair is getting to me. BAD. Today I'm doing a DC with Giovanni SAS mixed with coconut oil, the oil mix I've been using lately, and a little honey. Afterward, I'm inclined to twist my hair and be done with my hair for a few days. OR, contradict myself and wear it out. I have no idea right now.

I visited my mother on Saturday. She was in need of hair products, so I bought her a few things. Yes, she's still stuck in the "MUST. HAVE. STRAIGHT. HAIR." rut. HOWEVER, she's not as adamant about it as the last time I brought this up. I made no attempt to reiterate the point that she DOESN'T need a relaxer. I bought her shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, a DC, said relaxer (despite my own dismay) and gave her a blow dryer I bought but never used. I've pretty much decided that when she feels she wants to stop using the relaxer, she'll say so. And in reality, I'm really NOT that available to tend to her hair on a regular basis and transition her hair on the sly. So, I'm just going to drop the issue all together. When she's ready to make the change, she'll say so.

Amusingly enough, our traipsing around Downtown Brooklyn led us to Tar-jay, to the hair care aisle, and lo and behold: CURLS, Shea Moisture, and Kinky Curly sat on the shelves. Or, at least their PRICE TAGS did. You wanna talk about SOLD OUT? I only saw like, TWO bottles of the Shea Moisture hair cream-thing, ONE container of its DC, and the Kinky Curly stuff was GONE. There was a ton of CURLS stuff though. For crazy prices too. Even for Tar-jay. Didn't buy any of it though; don't need it. I'm pretty much sticking to staples (except for a co-wash conditioner--still haven't found that yet), and I'm going to shut down buying extra stuff when I install my yarn braids.

The boyfriend is off to take an exam to get into the ironworker's union today. It's not exactly work he WANTS to do (it's a lot of back breaking stuff), but he's looking at the benefits and decided to give it a shot. What could this mean for us? Well, a bigger income on his part really. Big enough that *I* could QUIT MY JOB and live off HIS wallet. That's...not something I'd LIKE to do. I have my mother to blame/thank for that--in a (near) desperate attempt to keep from developing her habits of co-dependency, I made it a point to NOT ask anyone for help unless I ABSOLUTELY NEEDED IT. Dependency of any level or nature simply WAS NOT an option for me. In a lot of ways, it STILL isn't. However, such will be the boyfriend's income that I really wouldn't have to work. In fact, he wants me to start my own business since he knows I like to make my own hair products and scarves. Which wouldn't be a bad idea in the long run.

But I'm digressing.

If he passes this test (and I'm hoping he does), things will be easier for us financially. Not that they already AREN'T--we own our home, so we're pretty damned lucky to be paying HALF the rent that a lot of other people are paying right now. But instead of scraping to save up for fun outings like shows in Boston, concerts on a regular basis, little luxuries we want but can't buy yet, even a vacation together (which we have yet to take), we'll actually be able to afford it COMFORTABLY and NOT worry about breaking our budget.

So PASS THAT TEST, BOY. Soulfly is in NYC on my birthday and I want VIP PASSES.

On that note, I'll leave you with a song: "Message To Love" by Band of Gypsys (a later incarnation of Hendrix).



Have a great day everyone.

Hey Mika,

I say go for the twists to give yourself a different look and then you can do a twistout. LOL at "transition her hair on the sly". Glad that you and your mom are on better terms right now. The Target I go to only has Miss Jessie's stuff left (too dang expensive), all of the Shea moisture, Jane Carter and Kinky Curly is always gone.

Hey honey, I haven't been to see you in a minute! I agree with KC try some twists and the do a twist out for a little variety. Have you tried a roller set? That may help too! I just sent up a prYer for honey to pass the test! AND the targets by me still don't carry those lines. I say great, this way I am not tempted! Lol

You own a house in NYC...baller! lol. Do your thing girl!

krazy coils wrote:Hey Mika,

I say go for the twists to give yourself a different look and then you can do a twistout. LOL at "transition her hair on the sly". Glad that you and your mom are on better terms right now. The Target I go to only has Miss Jessie's stuff left (too dang expensive), all of the Shea moisture, Jane Carter and Kinky Curly is always gone.

I'm all twisted up right now, and it's looking a little scalp-y. BUT, it'll make a nice protective style for a few days. And wearing a headwrap will be a little easier. Let's be real: it ain't easy gettin' a fro to lay FLAT. As bad as I want her to stop relaxing, I can't MAKE her do it or even trick her. Girl, Tar-jay is a MESS. I can never shop in there. And the Tar-jay near my house is a 30 minute TRAIN RIDE away? Not enough Shea Moisture or Kinky Curly on the planet for a 30 minute train ride.

sweetdrk1 wrote:Hey honey, I haven't been to see you in a minute! I agree with KC try some twists and the do a twist out for a little variety. Have you tried a roller set? That may help too! I just sent up a prYer for honey to pass the test! AND the targets by me still don't carry those lines. I say great, this way I am not tempted! Lol

Hey Sweet! Glad you made it! I don't know if my hair is long enough to hold onto a roller. I may have to try that sometime in the future (post yarn braids). Thank you for the well wishes! It'd be really cool if he could pass this test. We'll be able to afford our dream trip of traveling to Japan sometime next year. (At MY insistence because I'd been there already. ) I hear you about the Tar-jays near you--if they ain't selling it, I can't buy it! LMAO!!

BajanPrincess82 wrote:You own a house in NYC...baller! lol. Do your thing girl!

Yep. We own our co-op apartment: he'd already had the place paid off by the time I moved in. Co-ops also tend to be cheaper than actual houses; our place was about $125k. I've seen listings in our lobby where 2 bedroom and 3 bedroom places in our complex go for $150k or $160k. We're definitely NOT ballers though. We WISH we were, but we're not. Just hard working folk who live within their means, that's all.

Hey LadyM...

Girl that post was just too funny and awesome at the same time. Keep it real is how I roll and I like that about you!!! Now...I like you have given up on my mom. She is perming less now...like every 4 or 5 months which is great!!

I haven't seen Gyspy in a long time. Have you posted pictures lately? I've been so busy I hope I didn't miss them. If not...please post we need to see how Gyspy is doing...LOL Just kidding.

So when the BF pass the test you make sure you let us know so we can celebrate with you!!!

So what products are you making? You know that statement woke up the PJ in me. I am trying so hard to get a grip, and if I say so myself I'm doing pretty good!!

Enjoy the rest of your day....smooches!!

KNH

Baller or not, I'm happy for you. I love to see people our age owning homes and making moves. We're looking at houses now and planning to buy by next summer!

BajanPrincess82 wrote:Baller or not, I'm happy for you. I love to see people our age owning homes and making moves. We're looking at houses now and planning to buy by next summer!

That's awesome BP. Best of luck on that! It's a good feeling to come home to a place where you DON'T have to deal with landlords (and you can do whatever to your house and leave it that way--because it's YOURS). Not that all of them are bad, but I've only had one GOOD landlord in my entire renting experience. All the others can take a long walk off a short cliff. I'm definitely happier as an owner.

oh my, if 30 minutes is too much, you would be very unhappy hanging with me to get to the various whole foods I go to!

Hey Mika!!!

Wooo! I havent been over here in ages. LOL!! I'm glad you and your mom are on better terms.

We need to see Gypsy!!! I know she has grown a lot since you took that avi pic.

Hey LadyM,
Just stopping through to say hi!

Hi!!

Hoping all is well with you, your SO and Gypsy. Have you made any new mixes?

I need help.

I'm really starting to get frustrated with my hair. Every day I wear my hair out, and no matter WHAT I do to make it look decent, I STILL end up looking as if I stuck my finger in an electrical socket. I've already tried to wear a twist out, and that only lasted me a DAY. My hair frizzed out by the second day, and (realistically) I DO NOT have the time to re-twist my hair every night. Wash and go's are becoming a problem. I know part of it has to do with GROWTH; my hair IS at that in-between stage where it's not that short and it's not that long either. I also know part of it has to do with HANDLING, since my hands ARE in my hair everyday.

However.

Why the hell, even AFTER moisturizing and sealing and manipulating my hair as LITTLE as possible, AM I STILL GETTING FLY AWAYS AND COMPLETELY FUZZY AND UNDEFINED SPOTS LIKE THIS:



And WHY does the back of my head look like THIS:



And the TOP:



See all that friggin' FRIZZ? And those few curls in the front? THAT'S ALL I GET.

I know my hair is fine, but this just doesn't make any sense! I spent THREE HOURS on my hair tonight trying to find away to combat this crap (meaning I got NOTHING I wanted/needed to done). I cleansed the hell out of my hair, did an ACV rinse to get the pH balance in check, DC'd with my conditioner, added the KCKT, put a little (a LITTLE) of my shea mix on it, sealed AGAIN with my oil mix, and THEN put gel on top of it. And it was STILL frizzy. So I rinsed all of it out and started over. I tried using my DC (Giovanni SAS) as a leave in, THEN sealed with just the oil mix and THEN used the gel on top. STILL FRIZZY, FLY AWAYS, AND UNDEFINED IN SOME SPOTS.

I really don't know what to do. I tried DC'ing more, and that didn't do anything (except eat more time that I don't really have to spend on my hair alone). I tried using four different gels, to no avail. I tried cutting down on wetting my hair--to no avail. Nothing I'm doing seems to be working, and I'm getting really upset. I haven't worn my hair out in DAYS because of this, and I really DO NOT have the time to spend two or three hours on my hair. Not even on a weekly basis.

I'm trying my hardest NOT to just cave in and get loc extensions, because I KNOW it'll be an emotional decision and not a conscious one. I could even be exaggerating. But I really, really don't know what else to do or use on my hair anymore. I haven't been able to find a consistent product I can use (except for shea butter and the Giovanni SAS, and I'm about to throw THOSE out the window too) AT ALL. I'm NOT on a bank roll that I can keep changing and buying products all the time. I'm fucking irritated that my hair only looks decent while it's wet and now it's looking like shit when I do the things I'm SUPPOSED to with it.

I just REALLY needed to vent, and I could seriously some help or some kind of advice right now. I don't want loc extensions yet, but if something doesn't change, I'll HAVE to get them so my hair can look decent everyday...

Maybe the pictures are just "bad", but I don't see any frizz! I see big defined curls in the back and middle, and smaller curls in the front.

Have you tried henna? Some people get smoother strands and more definition after henna. Other than that, I really don't know. Maybe you should get some extensions to just give you a mental and physical break from your hair for a while.

Also, have you tried barrettes and headbands or twist extensions for a while to tide you over until your hair grows more? Unfortunately, and this isn't going to help, I can't really see the frizzes either.

If I can't see it, maybe no one else can either. You may be able to clip and pin until you grow out more. I can understand your frustration but it may not be as bad as you think.

I have a few friends with locs and agree about the loc extensions, I think they require maintenance and $$$. So you will want to be sure and prepared before you get them if that's what you want.

Maybe a temporary solution will work in the meantime. Your hair will behave differently when it's longer anyway.

I agree with BajanPrincess82. The 2nd pic looks great. Actually the curls are evident in all pics. Honestly I know how you are feeling. I have been BC -ing for years and found curlyynikkki this year and decided that I COULD grow my hair and since July of 2010 I have been on my HHG.

And I am obsessed with looking for info. and trying new products. But, I am working on that. However, right now, the sides and back of my hair are about 2 inches shorter than the top and middle. The sides are always dryer than, (I found some tips on the porosity forum link that helped with that)... But, I think right now my hair has not felt and looked as healthy as soft as it is feeling now, EVER in my life. So I must be doing something right!

So, I say don't focus on the curls, (I know that sounds like BS), but focus on the Healthy Hair Journey and look at this forum link http://www.curlynikki.forumotion.com/general-f3/watch-the-youtube-video-must-see-for-all-women-that-are-natural-t6711.htm


Hey good luck - I wish you all the best!

LadyM...

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Now usually I can follow your train of thought, but your hair is BEAUTIFUL!!! I'm serious. I don't see a frizzy curl anywhere!! I'm serious....

I understand you may be in a styling rut, and I feel you on not twisting every night, but that's what goes along with that twist-out style unless you twist-out and shampoo/co-wash and start all over.

So lets have a quick session and discuss your options...have you thought about putting your yarn braids back in? I remember when you did that a few months ago and that was a cute style. However, if you hair is as soft and fine as you say it is...will the yarn braids stay.

You do have a few options, like swoodward said try some hair accessories and see if that will work for you.

Now that will be $50...LOL Just kidding.....hope you can see what we see. BEAUTIFUL CURLS!!

Umm Mika I don't see any frizz Your curls are gorgeous! I think we are really critical of ourselves and our hair. Take a step back and breathe! I like swoodward's suggestion of the headband or possibly wear a scarf around your hair.

I think some parts of your hair may remain undefined due to the texture and some sections will be curlier than the others. At that inbetween stage its just a little hard to hide it.
But your hair is really growing and once again its gorgeous. I say get some hair ornaments to distract yourself from the frizz and styling issues.