Let your hair be damaged out of love?

Hey guys

So today I decided to go back to my twist (really thinking about stopping with the length I have but anyways...) As I had the top of my hair left on my head I started complaining and my mom and her boyfriend was in the room. My mom asked if she should do the rest for me and I said I was fine. Her boyfriend said something along the lines of "meaning she doesnt want you to do her hair" which sounds mean but it's true. A Life long of tugging and pulling from her that I dont have to deal with when I do it myself lead me to just do it myself but then her boyfriend said I should just let her finish it so I did...

First thing she asked was where was my comb after telling her to just use her fingers (she said you young people think you know everything to this btw) she then took the shea butter and started twisting. Everything was going well till I started hearing snapping! I made a comment like oh I just untangle with my fingers gently but the comment went unnoticed also she was doing the twist so tight I was just imagining my hair breaking off in a few days.But she started saying things like "I remember when you were younger and I did your hair...." and "Oh it's getting so long..." you know...happy mom stuff.

So do any of you guys let people do your hair to make them happy even though you guys have different methods of hair styling?

I told my friend this and she said I was right in just letting her do it but I get so anal about my hair now lol

I don't think it will hurt your hair. Not this one time. And she probably just wanted to do it for old times' sake! So did she end up using the comb or her fingers?

fingers and I know this wont hurt but I know if I let her do it all the time the way she wants it would. I am gonna be out of the house for school soon anyways so I'm not worried but I'm wondering if anyone else has more episodes of this in any kind of way.

"So do any of you guys let people do your hair to make them happy even though you guys have different methods of hair styling?"

Yeah. Growing up, I went to my aunt's salon on the weekends religiously. Lol I would always get it "straight with a flip" lol. Now that I'm natural, I only go there for trims. She blows it out on high heat before she cuts it and pulls really hard with the comb, but I don't go to anyone else because I know she likes to see me when I come home from college to visit & though I H.A.T.E. heat now, she always kept my hair long and healthy as a kid, so I'll always trust her with my hair

My sister is natural too, we went natural around the same time. Her hair is more like our mother's hair. Soft with a natural wave and shiny when pulled back. My hair on the other hand frizzes like mad, has a low sheen rather than shine, and the waves are only in the back unless I do a twist or braid out. (BTW my hair is soft and fine, so the frizz is more the curls, coils, zigzags trying to escape rather then raised cuticle.) I think her hair is more 3c than 4a. Mine is 4a/b...z

Anyway, my frizz drives her mad, she is certain that she can make my hair lay down and wave like her's. So I let her try because she's my little sis. . She wet my hair, put grease (something blue/green) and brushed it back with a soft (baby brush soft) brush. It was so funny, my hair would wave for a second, then the frizz would pop up like popcorn as it dried. She'd brush again and it would lay down for a few seconds and pop again. Eventually she gave up, but I catch her eyeing it like she knows there must be something she could do to make it wave.

I'd let her do it again if she wanted to. She let me put twists in her hair even though she didn't want them. She even left them in for a few days.

This is my life story! My sister is 5 years older than me. She has always been my hairdresser. From braids with beads, to pigtails, to sew in weaves as an adult. When I was relaxed she definitely touched my hair more than I did. Now that I'm natural I don't want anything to do with her in my head! She believes she's the expert because she is the mother of 3 girls (2 natural, 1 relaxed who is losing hair as we speak). In the beginning I would let her do my sew ins as I transitioned. She'd snatch at it while dry with a comb. She'd start combing from roots to ends pulling and tugging thru kinks and tangles. And I'd hear snapping the whole way. I bc'd in April and she hasn't laid a hand on it since. I'm trying to learn to braid to insure that she never lays a hand on it ever again.

I love her and I thank her for getting my hair this far in life, buuuut when you know better, you do better and she doesn't know yet!! I don't preach to her about everything she's doing wrong. I just don't let her do it in my head!

Lol I go to college out of state but whenever I come home for winter or summer vacation one of the 1st things mom asks is to 1). help me blow dry my hair and straighten it (even though I try to stay away from heat and let it air dry) or 2). ask to "scratch it" loooong story

So last summer on my 1st transition, I wouldn't let her touch my hair, and I did feel pretty bad about it. When the summer was over I got a relaxer but decided to transition again, so THIS time (I'm home for winter break) I let my mom "scratch it" for me. She had to pull the smallest comb through my hair to get to my scalp but I just held my tongue like a good obedient daughter! I'm sure my reward is coming LOL

Check out this article titledBalm: By styling her daughters' hair each morning, she was attending to something deeper than a beauty ritual
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/22/AR2010012203259_2.html

I agree that it's more than just a beauty ritual for our moms but it's a bond that the build with us.

brownsuga83 wrote:Check out this article titledBalm: By styling her daughters' hair each morning, she was attending to something deeper than a beauty ritual
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/22/AR2010012203259_2.html

I agree that it's more than just a beauty ritual for our moms but it's a bond that the build with us.

So true. My daughter is twenty and I was delighted that she let me braid her hair over Christmas break! She asked me to braid her hair and that was the biggest shock!