CANNOT WASH HAIR

OK.......I am a long term transitioner its been 8 3/4 months since my last relaxer...I want to transition until my hair reaches....neck length and its only looking about 1 1/2 inches now but umm I think I now why I dont detangle it that much cause it's just too difficult...NEWAYS...I cannot wash my hair like...every time I wash I would rub my scalp and it's stink!!!!!!!! and IDK...like...help? I'm seriously getitng ready to slap some perm on this...and I really dont have support of family and friends and thats what their telling me

Purplec, you've been transitioning for a very long tiime...that's fantastic! It's awesome! Think about why you decided to be natural in the first place. Don't those reasons still apply? One thing I've learned from this site is patience, patience, patience! Sure, detangling -- and a lot of other things we must do to really care for our hair -- takes time and effort, but it is definitely worth it. I'm sure there's a solution other than a relaxer to what sounds like a curly emergency. Tell us more...I know we can help you.

Try washing your hair and detangling your hair in sections. It will prevent tangling when u wash. Also you can prepoo before washing and it will help detangling. It is a long transition for me too

Is your hair very tangled? You might need to do what I call a master detangle and cleanse session. When I transitioned it was a long transition. I had "The Mat". That is what Teri LaFlesh and a few other veteran curlies call that transition place between your relaxed hair and the new growth. Its tight, feels a bit rough and hard to do anything with. AND your scalp feels coated because you can't get your fingers under there to rub off the dead skin.

Does this sound familiar? Cause that is what I had, but I got past it. Here is what I did one saturday after a marathon of research.

1. Get your cheap conditioners, suave, vo5 etc. One with no protein or protein very low on the ingredient list. Go ahead and use something with cones, at least for this time. You want something with a lot of slip.

2. Some kind of oil. I've used Smart Balance Omega blended oil. Its a cooking oil found in the supermarket. Its a blend of soy, olive and vitamin e oil. Very good for skin, hair and cooking too. lol. Its inexpensive too. But you can use any emollient oil like grapeseed or olive oil by itself too.

3. Inexpensive shampoo, probably whatever you have on hand will do or you can get some Suave or V05 clarifying shampoo. I have good results with these two. Make sure these have NO protein.

4. A good Deep Moisturising conditioner - no protein.

5. Maybe a big very wide toothed comb. Make sure it doesn't have a lot of rough edges on the teeth. You want to avoid snagging your hair on them.

6. A LOT of time. This should be relaxing. Do your feet, read a book, watch a bunch of movies. Relax.
An old cotton tshirt soaked in warm water and wrung out well.
Plastic wrap or a big shower cap.

7. About one cup or more of the cheap conditioner depending on your hair length and thickness. 3 or 4 tablespoons of your choosen oil. Mix well in a microwave safe bowl. Nuke it on medium (5) for about 30 seconds. You only want it warm, not hot. Slather the oil and conditioner mix on your head. Make it touch your scalp. This is not a perm so be generous. Wrap your head in the warm tshirt and cover with plastic wrap and/or shower cap. Relax for an hour or longer.

8. Use your fingers to detangle your hair and separate it into 5 or more sections. Twist or braid each section. If you want you can lightly rub your scalp with your fingertips or a cloth. No scratching, it breaks the skin. This can be a long process if your hair is very tangled. That's why I said make this relax time or movie or something.

9. After detangling, wash each section separately. Before you get in the shower put a dime sized dollop of shampoo on each section. Squeeze it through your hair don't rub or scrub your hair, its really fragile in transition. Rinse your hair well in sections. Take each section apart and put it back before you do the next section. Put the deep conditioner on your hair after rinsing and let it sit covered as before for at least 30 minutes or more. Lightly rinse it and then style using moisturising or leave a little conditioner in.

Okay, I've written enough , there are tons of recipes on this forum from ladies who've done more research. I like the Kimmytube mixture for moisturizing. She's on YouTube. I would stay away from direct heat, try a roller set, twist or braid out.

Wow this is long! I hope this helps and is not too overwhelming.

Madeaj, thanks for that information. This is something that I hadn't heard of yet, "the mat."

OMG...thank you ladies sooo much, butterflyu i have never heard of "the mat" either and i dont have 4-6 hrs. to do my hair when i am up to my head in work (sophmore in college), lol and yeah i really need patience, im like the videos on youtube make it look soo easy.........but its not
yes naturally u i have washed my hair in sections, but...idk...it wasn't that helpful
yes my hair does feel covered and feels like i cant reach my scalp madeaj and no it was not long, but i dont completely understand what u want me to do cover my hair w/ conditioner and detangle it during that time?????...

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! AGAIN LADIES

Oh I understand what you mean about school. I am five classes from finishing my masters and it can be overwhelming. When I did this I actually left the pre-shampoo conditioner on for most of the day as I got caught up on house work. When I sat down to detangle, I listened to a recording of a text for my class at the time. So I did homework while detangling. lol.
I leave the first conditioner mix in while I gently detangle with my fingers. If your hair is shorter, you might want to put it in more sections. This was the only way I could attack the mat I had. I joked with sister, that I found two pigeons, their babies and a nest in it by the time I finished.

The second deep conditioner I did while working on writing a paper and then I did the final twists while watching a video on tv. Those first sets of twists looked horrible when I think back, I'm better and faster now. I slept like a baby that night I was too tired. But I never had to do another marathon like that. You could probably do it quicker, I just wanted to spend some time not rushing for a change.

Dang, why was the reply back in bold to me??? I guess you must have been really mad at that sectioning method. LOL J/K. Wish ya luck.

no lol, sorry that was to seperate the other 2 comments and i bought butterfly clamps so that should help with the sectioning and try that method again when im gonna wash my hair later today God's willing like around 5-6ish and your hairstyle in the pic is awesome!!!!!!! i wanted to do my hair like that but my mirror broke in my room and i didnt find one i like yet and my mother doesnt want to do it for my did you do it yourself?

Girl, I am just joking with ya. LOL. No, but seriously I know it is a trial and error thing. You just have to find what works for you. Just keep going and don't give up if it is something that you really want. I too feel frustrated at times but I do know that my hair has gotten a lot healthier. It is a lot harder when you are a long term transitioner. Thank you for the compliment. Yes, I did the style myself. Just twisted and put perm rods at the end.

How did you see to path it straight???????

I don't. I don't use a comb to twist. I just grab hair and twist. no parting involved. You can do it without a mirror. Just section hair your hair with your clips in four sections. Then start on one section at a time just grabbing small sections of hair and twisting. Most of the time I sit in front of the tv and watch a movie and twist. I like to keep it really really simple.

Naturallyu, Purplec is right, your hair is beautiful! I love those fat twists and gorgeous curls...lol.

My hair is not only short, but it's pretty fine, and my curls are not as full. Those are reasons, though, that I decided to go natural, to give my hair a chance to grow thicker and longer. That is also the reason I decided to be a long-term transitioner, so that I can have more styling options with the longer hair once I become fully natural.

I agree with Madeaj, I definitely think if your hair is tangled to the point where you can't reach your scalp, you should take her advice. I'm sure you can tweak it a bit so it doesn't take that long. I have a process similar to this and even though I'm not in school anymore, I know it can be very time consuming when you have other things to do.

The only thing I would change is using a super cheapie conditioner (the $1 ones), my hair is super thick and kind of laughs at me when I use cheapie conditioners like Suave and VO5, so it might help to use one that is specifically meant for detangling, or maybe Aussie Moist 3MM, or Hello Hydration. For the past couple of months detangling was making my life hell, so I switched to conditioners w/cones for a while to give myself a break and so far so good.

BTW: do you use an applicator bottle to shampoo? for me its the easiest way to get shampoo to my scalp