Salon Nightmare...HELP!!

by xoxoKev31 10th October 2010, 6:45 pm

So my little cousin wants me to be in her court for her sweet 16 in April. But there is one MAJOR problem! Of course she wants all the girls in her court to have the same hairstyle. She already booked a salon for all of us to go to. The last time I went to this salon(I was natural), the lady was handling my hair extremely rough & literally ripping my hair out when she was combing it. smh I told myself I would never go to a salon again after that experience & now my cousin wants to go to the same salon. And on top of that she wants us to have a hairstyle that is going to require a lot of heat and gel. What should I do? I told her I could do my own hair, but she hired a photographer to take pictures of us getting our hair done so that's out of the question. I was thinking I could put a fake ponytail in my hair & let them style that. HELP!

by cluelesscurl 10th October 2010, 6:51 pm

Ask her if it would be ok for you to do the fake pony. I know its her day but you might end up getting heat damage if they arent careful and since you already had a bad experience.

by Madeaj 10th October 2010, 6:52 pm

Considering your previous experience, I'd go with the fake ponytail or a wig and let them style that. Have you told your cousin about what happened? Maybe if she knows she won't expect you to go through that again.

BTW I think your hair is beautiful, I can't imagine allowing someone with heavy hands to mess with that mane. affraid

by Naturally Esq 10th October 2010, 7:31 pm

Maybe it is time to discuss diversity with her. The dresses could be the same, but the hairstyles could be different. Your hair is beautiful. I understand that this event is important to you, but I would hate for you to ruin your hair.

by BeautifullyFree 10th October 2010, 8:20 pm

I mean i wouldnt want to be rude to my cousin or anything because it is an occasion for her,,however i don't think the cost of you having your hair ripped out an mistreated is fair to you or your hair..in other words i myself would proooooobably tell me cousin that i can style my hair (as natural hair is so diverse cheers

) but am not willing to put my hair through torture an possible damage for this sweet 16.. of course you can find the right words to express this rather than how i'm saying it, but to me its not worth it.

by FalconTress 10th October 2010, 9:47 pm

Don't be intimidated by this "junior bridezilla" type demand (the request not your cousin). It is very presumptious of her to assume that you will conform. There are grown women(not calling you a child) who have to tell brides that they will not abuse their hair for a wedding. If you can get "the look" that she wants with a phony pony, AND YOU WANT TO, then do it, but I would not let those people even style my hair. She would just have to be content with photos of me arriving, chit-chating with the rest of the "court" and leaving the salon. Your hair safety trumps her birthday. Tell her now, so if she wants to replace you in the court, she has plenty of time.
Your hair is fabulous, please protect it!

by Muz 10th October 2010, 9:53 pm

BeautifullyFree wrote:I mean i wouldnt want to be rude to my cousin or anything because it is an occasion for her,,however i don't think the cost of you having your hair ripped out an mistreated is fair to you or your hair..in other words i myself would proooooobably tell me cousin that i can style my hair (as natural hair is so diverse ) but am not willing to put my hair through torture an possible damage for this sweet 16.. of course you can find the right words to express this rather than how i'm saying it, but to me its not worth it.

THIS. It's not worth it at all, if she can't respect what you are not willing to have done to your head, then you just have to tell her you can't participate. It's totally not worth it IMHO.

by molove87 11th October 2010, 3:18 am

I agree with the other ladies, even with relaxed hair I was funny about who touched my hair. ONLY my beautician could do certain things for me, because I had experienced a few bad situations with other people being in my head. I've notice since being natural NOBODY (but her)is allowed in my head. The only reason she is allowed because she wants to learn about natural hair and pushed me to be natural, so I know she's not against it. Smile

She asks about products I'm using and even learning natural hair vocab lol.. so unless you feel some type of comfort in who ever will be in your beautiful hair.. they should STAY OUT!! good luck with your decision

by dajewel 12th October 2010, 11:52 am

can u post pics of what hairstyle ur cousin wants u guys to wear? i am more than likely sure that u can do the same hairstyle without all that heat and gel. also, perhaps you can consult with the salon so u can find hairstylist specifically for YOU so that you are not left out on your cousin's big day.

by Curlock Holmes 12th October 2010, 12:49 pm

Honestly I think you should just sit her down and talk to her about how you feel about the subject. Having someone RIP your hair out is NOT worth some silly picture of you ladies getting your hair done. The picture will still be just as nice if THEY are getting your hair done and you are sitting there, smiling and chatting with them. I'd say you should just tell her you are doing your own hair, and that's that.

by PaganWifey 12th October 2010, 1:04 pm

Honesty is the best policy. You don't always get what you want in life and 16 is as good a time as any to learn.

by Naturally Esq 12th October 2010, 1:34 pm

PaganWifey wrote:Honesty is the best policy. You don't always get what you want in life and 16 is as good a time as any to learn.

I agree!!

by BajanPrincess82 12th October 2010, 3:00 pm

Naturally Esq wrote:
PaganWifey wrote:Honesty is the best policy. You don't always get what you want in life and 16 is as good a time as any to learn.

I agree!!

I mean, its not like its her wedding and she's asking you to be a bridesmaid. Your hair is too beautiful to let someone jack it up!

by xoxoKev31 13th October 2010, 9:54 pm

THANK YOU LADIES! I really appreciate the advice. As far as the hairstyle, she wants a high pincurled bun with a swoop bang in the front. Which I can definitely do myself Or have someone I trust in my hair, do. I've decided that I am going to speak to the salon ahead of time, & ask if I can come with a fake ponytail already in. & they just style that, so that they are not touching MY hair. A part of the problem to is that everyone in the court has relaxed(and very damaged) short hair. So they don't understand where I'm coming from. My hair is extremely thick & long. Also, her sweet 16 is all the way in April, which means my hair will be even longer. Which is a recipe for disaster! Lol

by FalconTress 13th October 2010, 10:53 pm

everyone in the court has relaxed(and very damaged) short hair
so unless miracles occur the salon will be working with fake hair to create the other high pincurled buns anyway.

Please post the photo from the event in April.

by Juices-n-Berries 14th October 2010, 12:04 am

Wow. I have nothing to add. I agree with everything that's been said. I would love to see pics of the final outcome.

by KinkyNappyHappy 14th October 2010, 8:34 am

Juices-n-Berries wrote:Wow. I have nothing to add. I agree with everything that's been said. I would love to see pics of the final outcome.

I would too...also don't let anyone touch your hair!!! Very Happy

It's simply beautiful!

by xoxoKev31 22nd October 2010, 6:51 pm

KinkyNappyHappy wrote:
Juices-n-Berries wrote:Wow. I have nothing to add. I agree with everything that's been said. I would love to see pics of the final outcome.

I would too...also don't let anyone touch your hair!!! It's simply beautiful!

Thanks! & trust me I won't lol The way that those specific stylists in that salon handle natural hair, I would have a freakin heart attack! Lol I'll definitely post pictures (If I remember! lol).

by CurlyChefRobin 22nd October 2010, 9:45 pm

I'd love to add something but it looks like everyone has said what needs to be said. Very Happy

Stand your ground. It may be her age but it always surprises me when people expect people to do something like this. Hair is too personal.

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