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this skin color crap is not a "serious black issue" Cherry: extraordinary!!!!
if you want to post a topic about AIDS and STD rates in the black community, the poor quality of education in some black communities, the recent rise in teen pregnancy, how promiscuous teens have become and how young the behavior is beginning to emerge. graduation rates, rates of black pursuing college degrees, blacks in politics(besides president Obama), black heading fortune 500 companies, black entrepreneurs, getting our collective communities in agreement at least on the topic of our advancement. accepting the fact that we are not and were never an homogeneous group of people and to refrain from tearing each other down for being different,the hostilities between working class, low income blacks and college educated middle-class and upper middle class blacks, refraining from accepting and acting out stereotypes thrust upon us by society and the media, controlling our image in the media, those would be considered relevant and "serious" topics concerning the black community. now in all fairness i noticed that you are only sixteen and this skin thing maybe and major issue in you life at this point in time, understandable. hopefully you will work through it, and move on. hopefully we all will!!!

but to answer your questions;

1.Do you think that lighter African-Americans are treated better than darker ones?perhaps by some individuals in society, but personally as a darker woman of color i can say i have been treated very well in my life time, and the only time i have receive maltreatment for my skin is from other blacks, no one else seem to mind, i mean i am black, what do they expect me to look like, i know we vary, but my complexion is nothing out of the norm!!!
2. What do you think about the women who bleach their skin and their children? bleaching your own skin is your prerogative, forcing you mental illness(and hazardous chemicals) upon a child is dangerous and child abuse. i mean if you really care about you child skin color that much that you would endanger their lives. . .
well we are all aware of safer alternatives!!!
3. Have you made fun of someone (or been made fun of) for being lighter/ darker? well, yeah!! who has spent any time growing up in a predominantly black area and hasn't?? i had a little puerto rican boy call me charcoal brickette through half of the sixth grade, but he still came to my house every morning to get rides to school from across town to the school my sister and i attended, from my dark as midnight, Haitian father no less!!! i should have told my dad while he was in the car!!!! i have never made fun of someone for their complexion. i grew up in a family that is very diverse, and that type of behavior wasn't tolerated. plus why pick on someone for something they can't help and didn't choose, at least get creative with you insults, or better yet, leave people alone if their looks aren't to your liking!!

I saw a study not too long ago that showed a correlation between skin tone and the types of majors students chose (or were directed towards). The study said that lighter skinned students chose/were directed to more "prestigious" majors. I remember back in my old elementary school, they determined who was in the gifted class by skin tone (only light skinned girls). Also, in the school choir, all light skinned were put into one section and all the darker skin girls were put into the alto section. I mean only girls who were really light skinned were put into gifted classes (no testing was done) In a lot of ways, skin tone is relevant to education and educational experiences.

maybe its my generation, or where i grew up, but i don't feel my complexion has hindered my educational experience. i have been nurtured, encouraged,and pushed to my limits to broaden my horizons. i have won essay contest, been in gifted and advanced placement classes for writing, all areas of science, from elementary school in West Memphis, Arkansas to Anchorage, Alaska i have been lavished in the favor of my ocherstra conductor, gymnastics coach, ballet instructor, and cheer-leading coaches. all the way through high school i set the grading curve in all classes graded on a curve, continued to have essays, poetry and art work put on display , and admitted for publishing. my educational experience has been excellent and rivals that of most individual i encounter on a daily basis, and the older and more educated i be come the more poignantly obvious this fact becomes..

I wold be leery of such studies, after all this is America, and the intent behind everything is not always what it seems!!

Lexibugg: Ok, no need to get upset. Ive only posted 2 videos so far and even though it may not be "life or death" serious, it still causes pain and divides our race with an invisible line. Which to me IS serious. I just wanted to know what your opinions were on the video. You dont have to get all mad geez. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I lived in Arkansas for about 5 years and I personally dealt with people telling me I was too dark all the time (mostly men). I have 3 children, my best friend has 2. Constantly we would be stopped by people who would single out 2 of our children (one of mine and one of hers) to tell us how beautiful they were. They happened to be the only light-skinned children in the bunch. My graduate degree is poli sci so I'm all too familiar with the validity of studies but the fact remains that this country has a history of discrimination based on skin tone, both within and outside of the Black community. The fact that a child would even know to reference someone as "charcoal" speaks to politics of skin tone. While your particular experience may have been one of no discrimination, there is a ton of literature that points to that as an exception rather than the rule.

Of course, we certainly don't need a study to tell us that historically, lighter skin has been privileged in this country (and around the world) for centuries. We need only examine institutions of slavery and Jim Crow or industries like fashion and television to see that.

Personally I think this topic is just as relevant as the argument between relaxed and natural. Whether we like it or not, physical appearance and self esteem are reflected in ALL areas of life. These issues affect not only blacks, but people in all cultures (ex. Blondes vs brunettes among Caucasians). I could go on about some of my own examples but I won't do that here. I don't think we should criticize Cherry at all for recognizing this at such a young age. This issue has been plaguing our people since the time of slavery and is still something that needs to be dialogued about. Furthermore, the grave effects if this situation may attribute to some of the other problems you mentioned. Perhaps if we help our women and girls to have a higher self image, the HIV and teen pregnancy rates would not be so high. Just food for thought.

If anyone is interested in further study of this topic I would recommend the book The Color Complex.

Wow! I have never heard another natural talk "bad" about weaves and relaxed hair. Most naturals talk about the health and improving their hair..OMG! Someone really pissed her off. And she need to stop with the Afrocentric stuff, all naturals are not afrocentric. Homegirl is on some other stuff.

I understand where you are coming from Cherry. As much as we'd like to believe that skin color/race/nationality/ethnic background (whichever applies) is not relevant anymore it REALLY IS!

@Lexi...Its great that you have had such wonderful experiences in your upbringing, education, and other extracurricular activities but that is not the case for everyone. I too excelled in school & was "praised" for my work by teachers, professors, friends, and family. At the same time I have gotten nasty looks from others outside of my "race", had other women clutch their purse or move their children to the other side of them when I came near. Is it fair? No, but it still happens in 2010.

While the complexion of one's skin tone isn't an issue that I think too much about ( I love my dark skin) I know that some people look at me and based solely on my skin complexion believe that I am less than them. To hell with them I say...I have little tolerance for ignorance.

I agree that 'skin tone' is somewhat of an issue with a lot of people, mainly based on stories my grandmother used to tell me. There's some English and German in my lineage so my gran is what you'd call 'red/'white' and she always used to say that her boss favoured her and the other worker girls were jealous because she had 'the longest hair and the fairest skin'.
I've even seen and heard about it at school; there's really a significant amount of 'shade tension' particularly in Jamaica where everybody is of the same ethnic group, people are trying to find ways to differentiate or make themselves seem better than the next person. I myself am a browning and have always liked really dark skin; I mean so dark, the lips are almost purple kind of dark lol. Not the best way to put it maybe but eh. So I can understand the want to be looked at and treated 'better' but I still can't agree with the measures some people go to like bleaching.

Sorry, to correct something: mostly everyone is the same ethnic group as there's Indians, Caucasians, Koreans, Chinese etc. etc. The majority however being black.

The first video is just plan foolishness.
I was agreeing with the sister in the second video until she started sounding like a natural nazi ( just my opinion) and the third video is just discussing self hatred. No comment.
1. I do think lighter African-Americans are treated better, but I live here in the south and I speak from personal experiences.
2. I have no opinion about the bleaching skin because people deal with insecurities in different ways and I am co-signing with Erica5417
3. I am a beautiful dark woman and I was made fun of as a child and it made me more confident as I grew older. I never made fun of anyone's complexion.

i am just extremely disappointed that this crap has been brought to this forum, it used to be my safe place but it is now ruined for me, personally!!! these "issues" are why the majority of the black community will never go anywhere!!! it reminds me of sitting in a restaurant with a friend and a white couple comes in and are served their food quicker than we are, and she precedes to tell her children it is because we are black!!! great way to pass on Psychological bondage and trauma to another generation!!! these issues are still"relevant" because you allow them to be, something can only effect you if you allow it. there are dozens of methods for putting ignorant people in there place without speaking a word, raising a finger, or even breaking a sweat!!!
the continuous nit-picking by the black community at things that i feel are irrelevant and could be easily solved is why this forum was once my only interaction with anyone black, outside of my immediate family!!! perticularly women. i can't allow the crap, insecurities, and psychological bondage to become apart of who i am, i think i have made it this far without the damage and will not give in to it now!!! i think we damage ourselves with concern for these trivial "issues" more than society ever will, with how we choose to perceive and interpret our experiences!!! some times i miss you guys, but then the ignorance starts to flow and well, thats my queue to exit stage left!!!
it was really nice meeting you ladies, and thanks for all the info and help with my transition to natural!!! good bye!!!

and cherry, huh, this is not the place, stop being lazy and start you own damn blog, instead of tainting this forum with this BS,or at least post it in the life section and i have every right to be upset, this bull needs to end, and it continues to divide the community because these continued youtube post and childish discussions are not solving the problem they are contributing to the problem.

PEACE!!!

I posted it in general because the first video was in fact about hair. Also, if this thread has ruined the forum for you, you could have just ignored the thread. If you have such a big problem with this then ok, ill stop, eventually no one will comment and the thread will die out. I just have one question: do you really find it relevant to pick a fight with a 16 year old? You are an adult and could have just said that you thought it was a bad idea instead of trying to verbally attack me.

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I hate when GROWN WOMEN come at kids/teens when they don't deserve it, lol. This is really something. This is just the interwebz, be easy. Take a chill pill, if you don't like it, don't click on it lol. Just sayin'.

lexibugg004 wrote:i this forum was once my only interaction with anyone black, outside of my immediate family!!! perticularly women.
PEACE!!!

The defense rests.

touche [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Okay I didn't even waste my time looking at the vids so I won't comment. But this is a place to fully express one self no matter what it may be about and all that drama was totally ridiculous. Cherry feel free to express ur self however you see fit...as you can see some ppl are so blinded by denial that they lash out.(not excusing her)

I would like to say for the initial topic, and the secondly introduced one as well, that we need not allow issues whatever they are or however they make us feel, to burn us. We grope for answers because maybe we don't know everything and we wish to learn. I like how Jesus expressed in the Bible at Matthew 5:39, 44, that "...whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other also to him;...." and to "Continue to love your enemies and to pray for those persecuting you;..." We all are not enemies on this forum or anywhere else. Please, let us all keep peace on CN and respect that other's may not share our views.

What is going on on curlynikki these days folks? First of all, grown people shouldn't be cursing out children (unless it's your child and even then). If you didn't think the topic was relevant, how hard would it be just to bypass the post and not comment at all. Save everyone some trouble. Not to be rude, but if anyone wants to leave, I do not object. The last thing we need is them perpetuating their negativity. There's too much of that going on lately. Can't we all get along. Let's hold hands and sing kum-bah-yah. Sheesh!

Juices-n-Berries wrote: Let's hold hands and sing kum-bah-yah. Sheesh!

Awesome! I have a guitar; can I play the song?

Cherry, I wish I was as conscious and aware of myself and my surroundings at your age. You are a beautiful young woman and I always look forward to reading your posts. My daughter is 15 and I'm hoping she can be inspired by you.

@lexibugg: I understand the desire to seek out a "safe haven". As humans, it's an innate desire to be in a place where we don't feel any level or variety of discomfort. However, the only "safe haven" in the world at large is the one YOU create for YOURSELF...one that won't be found in public forums. Furthermore, while discrimination based on skin color may not exist in YOUR world, it does exist in the world AT LARGE. You may not have experienced it directly, but others have (myself included) and that is what this thread is about: discussing our experiences be they positive OR negative. Regardless, I wish you well and I sincerely hope you find/create the safe haven you're looking for. Be blessed.

@Cherry: I commend you for raising this discussion, PERIOD. Not a lot of girls your age have an interest in social politics, especially in regards to the black community. You've carried yourself very well throughout this entire thread, and for that, you have my utmost respect.

And as for the topic at hand, my take on it is this: everyone's experience is going to vary according to location, upbringing, and the personal experiences of the individual. In MY experience, I've gotten it all from N-bombs to genuine compliments, from 1st grade through the military (I won't get into that) and now working corporate. For me to say that "classism" based on skin color doesn't exist, would make me a hypocrite.

Thanks, you guys for the nice comments. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I dont usually get called out like that so i wasnt sure if i handled that situation correctly, but seeing your comments helped me know that i did. Erica, i really want to thank you. The fact that you said you want your daughter to be inspired by me made me almost cry lol (im a softy, i know [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ). I probably will just stop with this thread all together to cut back on some of the negativity currently in C.N. Idk if itll help but it doesnt hurt to try, right?
(Side note: Im all for kum-bah-yah! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] )
Thanks again [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Karyn wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I hate when GROWN WOMEN come at kids/teens when they don't deserve it, lol. This is really something. This is just the interwebz, be easy. Take a chill pill, if you don't like it, don't click on it lol. Just sayin'.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Wow, I think a nerve was hit...Officer down. I laugh at people that think that we live in a post racial world and that everything is peachy keen, I laugh with reckless abandon. I want to see what happens when reality pimpslaps ya into submission. All that denial is gonna hit you like a pile of bricks.

To pick on a child, A CHILD becuase your point is moot.... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] That is really mature. Troll harder ese.