my transition

Hello Ladies

My name is Ameenah and I have been transitoning for a about 13 months now, I know I speak in months like its a child. first let me tell you I was addicted to perms and thought I couldn't live without them. When I would see new growth I would immediatly put a perm in my hair on my root I have always maintained a nice length of hair and then my hair went from touching my back to touching my neck then. I also dyed my hair all the time since I was like 15 I was addicted to hair color as well I hated my natural color. I started the perms about 10 years old or earlier I don't remember I just remember when my mom told me I had to start putting them in myself. When I started to see alot of breakage and my length getting shorter I started to become afraid that as I got older my hair would not be healthy. So I tried to maintain healthy permed hair. As I was going through my process my daughter's hair was started to become a hardship so her impatient mother put a perm in her hair for the first time and last. It was one of my most regretable decisions I have ever made. Anyway I decided I wouldn't do to her what I feel was done to me and that is brainwashed that we have to have straight hair or permed hair. Then after much breakage and failure to maintain healthy permed hair I decided not to put a perm in my hair again . I braced my Husband because I didn't discuss this with him I just decided it on my own . Also I went to the hairdresser to get my hair done and she told me I was crazy for still even putting perms in my hair. In my journey I would only conditon , deep conditon and hot oil treatment I would use only olive oil in both my daughter and I hair. I didn't know this whole natural world existed until a friend of mine who had already been transitioning for so long had told me about it. Anyway because I am babbling . I started making my own products I feel safer using my own things because it was hard to find all natural product. My hair has left my neck and now touches my back just a little so I can tell there is growth . My daughter hair is absolutley beautiful. I made a decision not to do a big chop a while ago one for religious reasons, my husband, and because I was scared. But I want to cut it soo bad now I am ready to be completly natural. But my husband is not ready for that yet and I am trying to be mindful I know this is my journey but he has done nothing but support me strongly along the way he has even wanted to try the products I have been making. Anyway thanks for taking the time out to read my journery and I look forward to moving on with you ladies [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I'm glad you've decided to withdraw from the "creamy crack". When I wore my hair relaxed and was convinced that I couldn't wash my own hair. It just wouldn't come out right like the stylist did it. After conflict between my schedule and my stylist's I decided to try weaves. It was during this time that I realized that I didn't want to pay anyone to take care of my hair. I discovered Blackhaircareforum.com, crownandglory.com and longhaircareforum.com. I researched about natural hair and decided never to return to the "creamy crack" again. I have to admit a scene in Chris Rock's film, Good Hair solidified my decision when I saw how damaging sodium hydroxide is.

My boyfriend has been my biggest supporter. He jokes about how he can massage my scalp and not feel any tracks. Lol. Hopefully your husband will come around and realize you are not your hair. Beauty comes from how we carry ourselves not how long our hair is. I just want my hair to be healthy.