Texturizer

I last texturized in March of 2010. I've been researching and very optimistic about the transitioning phase but this week its been kind of hectic for me. I've worn micros and kinky twist since June and cant afford to get them done right now(paying for school) My new grow with my permed hair is a MESS....I can flat iron, roller set, whatever my new grow SHOWS!!! I love it but I'm not ready to BC either so I gave in today and used a touch up perm (luster's pink with Keyshia Cole on the box). It didn't take. My hair looks just as it did before only the curls are a little more loose. What does that mean and why did it happen. Also does it mean I can pick up where I left off with my transitional phase??? I need ANSWERS ppl....someone PLEASE HELP....THANKS!

It means that the relaxer didn't work to the full effect, but your new growth is no longer new growth. It's now relaxed (to whatever degree) hair and, thus, no longer natural.

I highly suggest you learn to twist and braid your hair. Go on Youtube and watch some how-to videos, as there are plenty out there that show you how to properly blend your natural and relaxed hair. Flat-ironing/straightening the new growth constantly will eventually damage it, and then you'll have to just cut all of the damaged hair off anyway, no matter how much you don't want to BC (since damaged hair is irreparable).

If you want my opinion, I also suggest you start preparing yourself to BC. I never really understood why people would choose to go through the trials and tribulations of transitioning, only to BC and deal with a completely new set of trials and tribulations (since your relaxed hair most likely likes different products than your natural hair). Why not just figure out what your natural hair likes and dislikes from the start? BC'ing is just so much easier.

I'd say bc'ing is the way to go. Prepare yourself for the shock of having no hair lol but it is very liberating and confidence boosting. In my opinion you learn to love your hair even more when you just do it. You might want to transition a few of months with twist outs or even wearing half wigs so you can have a little fro when you chop, but I think a bc is something most people don't regret in the long run.

I disagree I don't think you should BC unless you're really ready (more so mentally). I think you would regret BCing out of desperation.

I do think you definitely need to learn how to do your own hair, but without flat ironing it regularly.

If you're mainly concerned about your new growth along your edges after roller setting you could try headbands or scarves.

Good luck!

Ditto to everything MrsRenaissance said. Please don't BC until your ready. You are already struggling to care for your natural hair so BC'ing before you're ready will further feed your need to relax. BC'ing without proper research of techniques, your hair, ingredients in products is not recommended. As stated earlier, there are plenty of blogs/videos that can help you care for your hair, but you have to be mentally ready to get rid of straighteners/relaxers. It's not always easy, but you won't regret it! Good luck!

I can understand both sides of the argument. Yes, bcing will allow you to experience your natural hair and learn how to manage it, but at the same time I know what it's like to regret bcing too soon. I bc'd at 9 weeks post (in March) and once the excitement of the bc wore off, I realized that I hate my hair at this length. It has grown out a lot, but it's still not for me.

I would suggest learning how to do braidouts and twistouts and/or invest in a nice wig to give yourself a break from your hair.

I can flat iron, roller set, whatever my new grow SHOWS!!! ...I love it

First, I am sad that you had this setback. It is not a failure, just something that did not work. Keep your chin up!

I want to be sensitive to your frustration, but it confuses me when you say you love your new growth, but you appear to be on a mission to change it and make it "behave" differently(my words, not yours). Only you know what you really want and will be satisfied with as a transitioner or a complete natural.

Here's a list of conditioners that help me(not sure if you can find them locally):
Burt's Bees Avocado Pre-Shampoo Treatment
Aubrey Organics White Camelia Conditioner
Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose Conditioner
Aubrey Organics Blue Green Algae Conditioning Mask
Desert Essence Coconut Conditioner

Ingredients that may help you are jojoba oil, wheat germ oil, coconut oil, shea butter, avocado oil, olive oil, etc.


The line of demarcation(that's what I call the point where chemically treated hair meets new growth) is fragile. I never gave it a second thought when I was a relaxed head. As I have learned more about the structure of hair, I find it hard to believe(even with basing or pre-relaxer treatments) that a professional or self-relaxer can accurately identify (with the naked eye) the exact line at a cellular level and keep the chemical from overlapping onto already relaxed hair.

I think you need a protective style to minimze manipulation and give yourself some time to regroup form your luster experience. There are lots of options(wigs, scarves, headbands, baseball cap, etc) that can give you a look(or looks) that you can tolerate until you have gradually cut off or BCed your relaxed ends.

I think that this is the Universe's way of telling you that you shouldn't use chemicals. Seriously....
Sounds like you immediately regretted it. Im sorry that you have to go through this but you have to realize now that you now have relaxed hair, texturized hair, and will soon have new growth.
No worries though. Everyone has setbacks. Pick yourself up and try again.
I am about 5-6 months into my transition and I had a weak moment the other day. But I fought it;-)
Just keep telling yourself that you can do it with love and patience .

this is totally off topic and its going to sound crazy but latoya 28......do i know you?
Im looking at your pictures and I think we may know each other.
Do you have 2 little boys?

I suggest like someone said looking on youtube and trying to do your own extension braids and twists. That's what I did when I transitioned and I was able to transition for a year and I barely spent any money (except on the hair). The only downside to doing them yourself is that you'll have to be prepared for them not to look as great at first, but you'll get the hang of it, and it took me longer to do them myself. For me it was worth it.

I wasn't prepared to do a BC just because I wasn't comfortable with a TWA so I took my time and when I finally BC I was happy with my length and comfortable doing my natural hair. You will have to start over though...

I agree with MrsRenaissance!!!

kddn
I still consider you natural.

there were times my perm didn't take at all in sections of my hair and it was just the same. Natural hair is resistant especially a t the crown of the hair. My hair was still "natural" to me if it looks nappy still, it's natural. I would have to wait a week then put the perm on again to make it straight.

So don't think your hair is permed or texturized or whatever. My curls were the same and wasnt relaxed.

just learn how to braid yourself

Thanks guys for the responses. I have been thinking about what I did all day while at work. You'd think I killed someone by the look on my face. I did feel really bad right after I washed it out. Feel like I've wasted the last 7 months on nothing. But I'll get past it and give another shot. I plan to try again but WITHOUT the BC....I would never be able to live with a TWF. I'll be counting on your posts/forums/and videos to help me get through this time.

Good Luck KDDN, we're here for support, guidance, friendship, all that good stuff. Don't be too hard on yourself, this time will be much better now that you know what to do. it sometimes takes a relapse to correct yourself. i've never given up a bad habit in my life without a relapse.