Is 4b/c Hair Frowned Upon?

Hey everyone! My name is Tiffany, and I'm new to the natural world. I got so intrigued by natural hair by lurking on hair forums like this, Hairlista.com, KISS, etc and I would like to transition in the future one day. However, now I'm discouraged. I got a nasty comment by someone I'm really close to who is natural, and she said that my hair is too "nappy" to be natural, that I won't have any curl definition, and that the "prettiest" natural hair is hair that is not in the type 4b/c category. Now, my hair has these corkscrew-ish like textures around my edges and nape, and in the middle of my head, there are large corkscrews, but my hair is still coarse/resistant. I know I keep hearing that you won't know the actual "real" texture of your hair until all the relaxed hair is gone, but it's not just her who's saying this, it's everyone, and I feel so hurt.

Can anyone give me some advice? When I'm ready to transition, I want it to be a fun, loving experience getting to know my hair...I don't want to keep on getting discouraged by people who think they're better all because their texture is looser!!

I think a lot of women have heard their hair is too nappy to be natural. A lot of natural women deal with hair predudice and ignorance. You really have to be comfortable in your own skin and look past all of the ignorant comments. Natural hair communities are a great place to share knowledge, gain knowledge, and accept that all natural hair is beautiful. Whether it be 2b or 4c.

Unfortunately the 4 hair type in general is really looked down on. It's interesting because I find the 4a/b/c hair type is the most beautiful (maybe I'm biased?) and definitely the most versatile.

You will get ignorant comments but these comments usually come from people who seem to be brain washed as to what beautiful hair is. This is because of the media and I think also how they were raised and what they were told about natural hair when they were younger. Something like that really sticks in your head. Some people try to pass down the self hate to you, YOU have to choose to look past the self hate and love you for who you are and what God gave you.

Ok I think I'm rambling. I would suggest starting a thread in "The Curl Street Journal" section. The women are very kind and helpful.

Good luck! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I have all the 4's in my head and I love my hair! It's not about what "they" think it's about you because at the end of the day you are the one that gets the pleasure of enjoying your hair. No one's hair is "too nappy" and that is the most ignorant hair comment that anyone can make. Just plain hateful and stupid - and you can tell them I said it, it's true.

Take a look at these lists of lovely 4's:
http://maneandchic.blogspot.com/search/label/Type%204
http://maneandchic.blogspot.com/search/label/Type%204%20Hair
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=419684

Hair typing is just another device used to keep us divided.

Thank you so much, both of you! That really helped, I really appreciate it

NewYorkUptownChick wrote:Thank you so much, both of you! That really helped, I really appreciate it

Please don't let folks discourage you. Anytime you need any encouragement just remind yourself how beautiful Type 4 hair is by looking at the pics in those links, FOTKI, albums, and all the type 4 vloggers and bloggers
Good luck on your journey!

You can't please everyone LOL. Some people really may not like it but..

to ___ with them lol

As the other ladies have mentioned, you just have to be comfortable in your own skin. I just bc'd about 2 weeks ago, and I am completely in LOVE with my hair. And I have 4a texture type hair. Maybe even 4c.. lol not really sure..

And it's funny b/c my mom keeps suggesting i texturize but this is the first time in my life that I've seen my hair in its natural state. And it makes me feel self-conscious when it comes from my mother.

Even my grandma had something say about it and I just laughed..

lol if someone else said something about my hair, I don't think i would be as offended than with someone I know.

This is the hair that God has given me. It's not by chance for fate, it is what it is. And yes I could change it anyway I want too but at the end of the day, my hair is MY HAIR.

Everyone else can dye and fry their hair, but when it comes to us, it's always an "issue" . And for some odd reason the kinkier and tightly curled hair is segreated from the looser patterns. And i don't know why.

I think its a subconscious thing. We are use to seeing people with straight hair or even hair that is loosely curled in the media and not use to seeing the kinkier hair types.

Over all, confidence and accepting yourself is key.

However, I'm seeing more and more naturals everyday, from 3c-4c and celebs going natural too which really helps us all to accept our selfs for who we are.

Good Luck and don't be discouraged. Being creamy crack free is the best the best thing for me and I wish i would have done it sooner as cliche as it sounds.

I think 4b/c hair can be awesome. But it truly is a mental thing.

Here's one of my reassurances that it's ok. Check out Nikia Phoenix. She's a model.



[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Isn't she absolutely gorgeous?

Hi Tiffany!

Don't be discouraged by what others say. I didn't know how my transition was going to be. I started out getting it pressed and realized I wasn't really getting to know my hair. So, I decided to wear natural styles and that was the best decision. My hairdresser of 22 years told me I didn't have the right kind of hair to be natural...my hair was too coarse, too nappy, and it wouldn't curl. Nonsense! She even said I would look like a jigiboo (sp?) whatever that is.. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] The process actually increased my love and acceptance of my hair. Your hair is beautiful regardless of what type it is! I'm more of a lurker instead of a poster but I would look at this website and others for tips on styles and maintenance and it kept me motivated and encouraged. Good Luck! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

yeah, and people tell me I'm too dark...too skinny...too short
If we listened to the world...

Jiggaboo?!?!?!?....that's taking it way back to Spike Lee's 1988 School Daze. Your hair needs to be more concerned about getting herself up to date.

Self-hate really annoys me and that's what I believe is the cause for people talking so bad and hating so much that there are people that love the way that they were born.

Hi I'm in the 4 category too, and my hair is very thick. Before I went natural I was concerned about what other people would think too. I heard some of those same comments from my best friend. I don't think she was trying to be hurtful, she just didn't know any better.
But you've got to do what's best for you and what will make you happy. Being natural is a challenge especially in the beginning and during the transitioning, so you have to prepare yourself mentally for that. But otherwise, like everyone else said, don't listen to what other people say! 4b hair is beautiful, embrace it!

Hi Tiffany!!

I'm a type 4 girl and I agree with what the other ladies said, you do have to be comfortable with yourself and with your hair. Like Juices said it is also a mental thing too. I remember back when the hair stylist suggested to my Mom that she might want to think about perming my hair to make it easier to "handle", but said that my sister (whose hair has a looser curl pattern, not as coarse) didn't "need" a perm.

So just stay encouraged and shake off all that negativity. You really have to develop a thick skin and not care what other people have to say. I still have to keep myself in check, looking at other girls hair, and wishing mine was like that. Its a process, but you've got a whole lot of ladies here that will help you. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Your hair is beautiful and so are you!!

Tiffany, I hate and am glad to say this but the close person who told you that your type of hair isn't the prettiest was mistaken. The world is full of beautiful people and God made us in all shapes, sizes and styles. I bet your hair IS pretty, WILL curl (if you want it too) and nappy is just of description of tiny, springy, spiral curls. So if your hair is too nappy, that just means you have a head full of curls.

Let me share how I look at it: say I have two cats - one has straightish ginger fur that lays down and the other has thick fuzzy brown fur that sticks out. Am I supposed to tell the brown one that her fur isn't the prettiest because it's not straight?

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of course not. Both are amazingly beautiful just because they are. People are no different. And we should never let bad history dictate to us what is our right of beauty.

(The brown one is the queen of the house. She rules all members of the household. She is the lightest in weight, the oldest, the smartest and the prettiest and you can't tell her otherwise. She also has a seriously kinky undercoat!)

swoodward wrote:Tiffany, I hate and am glad to say this but the close person who told you that your type of hair isn't the prettiest was mistaken. The world is full of beautiful people and God made us in all shapes, sizes and styles. I bet your hair IS pretty, WILL curl (if you want it too) and nappy is just of description of tiny, springy, spiral curls. So if your hair is too nappy, that just means you have a head full of curls.

Let me share how I look at it: say I have two cats - one has straightish ginger fur that lays down and the other has thick fuzzy brown fur that sticks out. Am I supposed to tell the brown one that her fur isn't the prettiest because it's not straight?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

of course not. Both are amazingly beautiful just because they are. People are no different. And we should never let bad history dictate to us what is our right of beauty.

(The brown one is the queen of the house. She rules all members of the household. She is the lightest in weight, the oldest, the smartest and the prettiest and you can't tell her otherwise. She also has a seriously kinky undercoat!)

As a fellow cat owner, I LOVE the feline example. And such beautiful kitties you have!

NewYorkUptownChick...though it can be hurtful, I find the folks who make comments like that (especially those we consider friends) are usually jealous of or dislike the fact you are willing to be you. These comments are meant to keep you in the same box/place right along with them.

So...keep doing what you are doing...and use the comments to motivate you forward! Trust...one day you will laugh in the faces of those who try to put you down!!!

Hey Tiffany (My name is Tiffany too by the way

Girl, I totally understand the discouragement and the way youre feeling right now. As some of the other curlies said, you cant really allow those harsh words to detur you from what you really want to do. While I transitioned it taught me alot about how folks viewed me when i was relaxed and how their views started changing all because I chose to not get relaxers anymore. It still to this day amazes me on how some of THE most harsh comments come from other african americans moreso than any other race (or that could be just what ive experienced)....There are several natural communities out there that will definitely help you through any struggles you have, and forums such as this and the WONDERFUL world of youtube, that help you embrace the transition, big chop, TWA, and more phases of being au naturale....

HTH

hi, two Tiffanys! my name is also Tiffany !! lol!!!

maybe am biased, but like beadsbraidsandbeyond, 4 type hair is d bess d bess d bess!!! is sooo beautiful in all of it's glory!!! it shows you that God made no mistake making us this way!

don't worry about the negative comments; she just jealous of you having the audacity to reveal the real you...the you that the good Lord intended to for you to be. that same person will be the same person that will marvel at your natural hair, and want to go natural. just do you, hun!

dajewel wrote:hi, two Tiffanys! my name is also Tiffany !! lol!!!

don't worry about the negative comments; she just jealous of you having the audacity to reveal the real you...the you that the good Lord intended to for you to be. that same person will be the same person that will marvel at your natural hair, and want to go natural. just do you, hun!

Hey Tiffany Girl!!!

thats good advice and im REAL sure she will be the one wanting to go natural soon too

BrownSkinDiva wrote:

dajewel wrote:hi, two Tiffanys! my name is also Tiffany !! lol!!!

don't worry about the negative comments; she just jealous of you having the audacity to reveal the real you...the you that the good Lord intended to for you to be. that same person will be the same person that will marvel at your natural hair, and want to go natural. just do you, hun!

Hey Tiffany Girl!!!

thats good advice and im REAL sure she will be the one wanting to go natural soon too

hey, Tiff!!

is so true!!!!

I am in the "4" family too and I wouldnt want it to be any other way. You can check out my fotki (in my signature) if you want to take a closer look.

As NikG and Dajewel said, "4" is the best!!! You can achieve so many different styles!!!

If you stick around here (on this forum), you will get all the love and support that you may not be able to get from family and friends.

Good luck on your journey!!

^^^ great advice Lynnie!!

I love being in the 4 family

*in my BEST DJ Khaled voice*
We the BESSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

lol...

i agree with Lynnie!!!!!

large up yourselves, 4 family!!!!! 4 family tuh di world!!!!!!!!!!! lol

^^ okay namesake we are both too much, lol!!! we must be related...u from florida??

Uptown Chick,

I'm mostly a 4 chick (some 3, but really that hair only irritates me LOL) and I absolutely LOVE my hair. You're just going to have to show your friend how beautiful your hair truly is.. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] You better rock that head of tight coils with confidence!

Say to yourself, "My Black is Beautiful". Continue saying it until you believe. And believe that it means that you are truely beautiful from head to toe, no matter the hair type.

You have to be comfortable with yourself, in all that you do. Don't depend on others to encourage you to do something that's on your heart/mind. If I looked to others, I would be in a world of mess right now.

Surround yourself with positive people!!