Men and Naturals!!!

I love it when a guy compliments my hair! A lot of guys love the fact that its different! I can recall one incident where me and one of my girlfriends was at a happy hour/karaoke night and we were just chillin out talking at our lil table. All of a sudden this guy comes over to me and says " I love the way you are rockin your hair...that's nice!" I was grinning from ear to ear, and I responded back, why thank youuuuu! (Too bad he wasn't my type!!! LOL!). And on a more recent occasion, I was at a club and I was walking through the crowd, and a guy grabbed my arm....at this point Im about to get fiesty on his a**, like why the heck are you grabbin me fool??? LOL! But as he grabbed my arm, he said to me, "Your hair is fly!" At that point, my guard was totally let down and I could appreciate the compliment!

I think being natural sets you aside from the rest, and most guys look at you in a total different light! I mean think about it, you have on a banging outfit, Im sure, looking great, feeling great & confident, and on top of that...your hair is on point! So I love it, and I think more guys are starting to catch on to the natural thing! That's just my opinion!

natural83 wrote:I love it when a guy compliments my hair! A lot of guys love the fact that its different! I can recall one incident where me and one of my girlfriends was at a happy hour/karaoke night and we were just chillin out talking at our lil table. All of a sudden this guy comes over to me and says " I love the way you are rockin your hair...that's nice!" I was grinning from ear to ear, and I responded back, why thank youuuuu! (Too bad he wasn't my type!!! LOL!). And on a more recent occasion, I was at a club and I was walking through the crowd, and a guy grabbed my arm....at this point Im about to get fiesty on his a**, like why the heck are you grabbin me fool??? LOL! But as he grabbed my arm, he said to me, "Your hair is fly!" At that point, my guard was totally let down and I could appreciate the compliment!

I think being natural sets you aside from the rest, and most guys look at you in a total different light! I mean think about it, you have on a banging outfit, Im sure, looking great, feeling great & confident, and on top of that...your hair is on point! So I love it, and I think more guys are starting to catch on to the natural thing! That's just my opinion!

LMBO at the why you grabbing me fool. Sounds like something I'd do. You are so right because I thought I was a hot permie BUT now I can't stand myself sometimes..LOL

natural83 wrote:I love it when a guy compliments my hair! A lot of guys love the fact that its different! I can recall one incident where me and one of my girlfriends was at a happy hour/karaoke night and we were just chillin out talking at our lil table. All of a sudden this guy comes over to me and says " I love the way you are rockin your hair...that's nice!" I was grinning from ear to ear, and I responded back, why thank youuuuu! (Too bad he wasn't my type!!! LOL!). And on a more recent occasion, I was at a club and I was walking through the crowd, and a guy grabbed my arm....at this point Im about to get fiesty on his a**, like why the heck are you grabbin me fool??? LOL! But as he grabbed my arm, he said to me, "Your hair is fly!" At that point, my guard was totally let down and I could appreciate the compliment!

I think being natural sets you aside from the rest, and most guys look at you in a total different light! I mean think about it, you have on a banging outfit, Im sure, looking great, feeling great & confident, and on top of that...your hair is on point! So I love it, and I think more guys are starting to catch on to the natural thing! That's just my opinion!

LMBO at the why you grabbing me fool. Sounds like something I'd do. You are so right because I thought I was a hot permie BUT now I can't stand myself sometimes..LOL

natural83 I feel where you are coming from. If I wasn't married I would be such a pimp, LOL. I get way more attention now than I did when I was wearing my hair straight.

@nmoultry Hahahaha, girl you know guys these days are a tripp, so your instincts just automically go to the alter ego deep inside of you! LOL! Im usually very nice, but if you approach me wrong, I can be quite fiestyyyyy! Oooowwwwww! LOL! But yes...I love guys that love a natural head of hair! And even more, a guy that goes out of his way to compliment you...to me that says a lot about a guy, ya know!

@tiashauntee LOL at the pimp comment! I think guys think the natural look is a little exotic in a way...(the ones that like it) and they end up loving it!

natural83 wrote:@tiashauntee LOL at the pimp comment! I think guys think the natural look is a little exotic in a way...(the ones that like it) and they end up loving it!

One of my male coworkers was expressing his dissatisfaction with his wife's hair...she just did the BC. I told him to think about Pam Grier and Tamara Dobson....his face lit up.

i love sharing these stories!! i remember one compliment happened during the summer. my mother had just finished cornrowing my hair for work. just a simple style with cornrows going to the back and the ends tied in a pretty bow. i was really looking pretty, if i do say so myself. i was in the elevator minding my business when a random Black gentleman entered. He was watching me hard, and just abruptly said "your hair is so pretty. I wish more Black ladies would wear their natural hair. I dig it!!". That was the icing on my day!!

I've had pretty good responses about my natural hair from men. My boyfriend has made the Ceily/slave jokes about my hair, but just usually after a wash and go has went and gone or I'm prepping for a twist/braid out. (Sidebar: I would kill for Nettie's hair!)

But he actually prefers my natural hair to the sew-ins I wear as protective styling. He likes to play in my hair. I remember one time he was telling me about how he thinks about me during the day and he said "I like seeing you in the morning with your hair all twisted up." I smiled from ear to ear.

The guy I was seeing before my boyfriend was also really supportive. I was dating him when I did my BC. He was out of town when I did it, so I braced him for it. When he got back we went out and he told me he loved it because it showed off my face. I remember he was searching all over the Internet on where to find Kinky Curly for me, when the Whole Foods in my neighborhood was out and the salons that sold it were closed. I lived in Silver Spring, MD at the time and he drove me to this random boutique about 45 minutes away that was selling it.

My FI understood me wanting to wear my hair curly and likes some styles, but sadly he is use to seeing me with straight hair. As long as my curls are down and defined, he is OK. Every now and then (if I am rocking a afro puff) he will ask me to straighen it. He doesn't like pony tails, with straight or curly hair. He is coming around though. He really liked the Curlformers set. I don't mind it, because as much as I love my curls, I like my hair straight too!

My ex-fiance was a coon. He was a shucking and jiving coon. He couldn't understand why I had to be natural. He told me that one of the main reasons he was physically attracted to me was because "you got white girl hair, and black girl booty." His own version of the best of both worlds. Needless to say amongst other things he is now my ex. For him to say those things to me were hurtful. He tried to make me conform to his *and unfortunately most ignorant black boys* idea of beauty. Which was looking as close to white as I possibly could. He hated that I stayed outside when it was sunny too, didn't want me to get too dark I guess.

Now, since I have been free*from a relaxer and my ex* whoooo LAWD the play I have been getting. All types of men approach me and compliment me on my hair. I have always thought I was pretty fly but my flyness meter really high now. Going natural has boosted my self-esteem. Men can read when you're confident and men love a confident woman.

loveself247 wrote:@Pi*Jay,,,when he looks at you like that just tell him (without giving him eye contact) "Good Day",,,,,,and if he starts to respond say..... "I Said,,Good Day" and just let it be, don't even let him know that what he says bothers you. We have to remember that we are transitioning for "US" not anyone else!

HAHAHHA!! that sounds like something out of a movie. I gotta try that. "Good day" is so respectful yet dismissive.

wowzers ladies. I don't 100% blame the men for the views, I blame their mamas and their mamas, because that's where they get it from.
When I first started going out with my bf I had short straight hair (because I had cut it off for reasons). He told me he was ok with that because he had seen me with longer hair before and he knew that I was capable of growing my hair longer. When I decided to no longer straighten my hair he was not happy. I had been straightening my hair sooo much that I developed heat damaged so when I cut the damage last year he took it worst than anybody who opposes it. He said he didn't like the big hair and the fact that it looked short. At first he made a lot of negative comments but I let him know early on that if he couldn't accept it that I wasn't changing and that if it was problem find himself a girl with long straight hair. What's interesting though if I tell him I did something to my hair he always wants to know what I did. I think he's starting to come around slowly but surely. He has admitted to liking flexi-rod styles and bantu knots. I think with some people they have to be educated. I told him that I can't contine to flat-iron not only because I don't want to but because it's damaging and for the first time in a long time I might actually be able to make past apl. A lot of people thought he was acting like this because I no longer had the length, but turns out he just doesn't like curly hair. I also think at least in his case it was hard for him to adjust, I never told him I was going natural hell I was already natural and I only wore it curly a few times in the summer but it was something different from what he was used to. Can't speak for everybody but my bf is a man of habit, down to the letter. But I do think once my hair grows back and gets longer it will be easier.

On a side note though I have gotten way more attention from all spectrums of the rainbow since flaunting my curls. The extra attention encourages me to keep on trucking. I think all the people with their negative comments just jealous they don't have this the courage to do it. It take bravado to go against the grain. So I congratulate all you ladies for doing just that.

When I first starting wearing my hair natural I noticed that most black men did not approach me anymore, but for some reason white men and men of other races just gravitated towards me. It was the craziest thing! To answer your question, I think that the standard of beauty in the U.S. is long straight hair and sadly, black men have accepted that aesthetic. But I agree with the comment by PiJAy that confidence and love of self goes a long way. I was insecure about my natural hair at first, and maybe that was apparent to others. Once I became more secure in the way I looked, I noticed that more and more black men came around. There were still others that had an issue with it, but I realized that if they would let something as simple as the way I wore my hair prevent them from dating me, then they were not worth my time anyways. My fiance loves me no matter how I wear my hair, so there are men that can appreciate a natural curl. In fact, he just wants me to be happy with it, so he doesn't have to hear me complain [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]. It's funny that your guy reacted that way, because you are so beautiful. Hopefully he will see that too.

i guess it just depends on the man because my male friend who i have known since the 3rd grade..looked at me turned his nosed up and said omg wtf did you do to ur hair..i even got called shirley from whats happening a few times so i weaved it up..then as time went on i learned to embrace it and the more i embraced the more others did..and those who didnt simply didnt matter..but now i have this "friend" originally from the UK of ghanian decent and he was the first man to ever touch my natural hair..i was a bit scared and i swated his hand away a 1000 times but he finally wore me down..he put both of his hands the the nape n ran his fingers all through my hair and said its such a beautiful head of hair..i almost cried yall lol

curly_danni wrote:My ex-fiance was a coon. He was a shucking and jiving coon. He couldn't understand why I had to be natural. He told me that one of the main reasons he was physically attracted to me was because "you got white girl hair, and black girl booty." His own version of the best of both worlds. Needless to say amongst other things he is now my ex. For him to say those things to me were hurtful. He tried to make me conform to his *and unfortunately most ignorant black boys* idea of beauty. Which was looking as close to white as I possibly could. He hated that I stayed outside when it was sunny too, didn't want me to get too dark I guess.

Now, since I have been free*from a relaxer and my ex* whoooo LAWD the play I have been getting. All types of men approach me and compliment me on my hair. I have always thought I was pretty fly but my flyness meter really high now. Going natural has boosted my self-esteem. Men can read when you're confident and men love a confident woman.

LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!! It's good that you're rid of him. I hate when men want us to fit into a certain mold (European). Trying to get me to be something I'm not (white) is not going to happen. Thankfully my honey LOVES my natural hair. He prefers it big and isn't very excited when it's straight lol. He likes it big, I think because of the exotic look.

At wild curls, I agree that the mother's of the men play a role as well because many women are ignorant when it comes to natural hair.

brwnbarbie24 wrote:At wild curls, I agree that the mother's of the men play a role as well because many women are ignorant when it comes to natural hair.

That is so true. But check this out....my mother in-law went natural after being around the hubby and I. We didn't believe her at first until she called me to come over and cornrow her hair. Her hair looks AMAZING now. It's so full and shiny. Even the Hubby said he never saw his mother's hair look that healthy.

Well my honey is a comedian and has jokes ALL day long. BUT he has told me more often how beautiful I am since the BC. My good friend told me not to let it grow too long because it will hide my eyes. So actually the negativity I have heard comes from women.

I agree with all that it takes sexy up another level!!! Look out now!!

My boyfriend knows im going natural and he says he's ok with it and won't look at me differently but i commented on a gurl in my school hows hair is also natural...and said that i love her hair and she called her nappy. I kinda hurt me because if she thinks her hair is nappy what is he going to think when i'm finished transitioning?

curly_danni wrote:My ex-fiance was a coon. He was a shucking and jiving coon. He couldn't understand why I had to be natural. He told me that one of the main reasons he was physically attracted to me was because "you got white girl hair, and black girl booty." His own version of the best of both worlds. Needless to say amongst other things he is now my ex. For him to say those things to me were hurtful. He tried to make me conform to his *and unfortunately most ignorant black boys* idea of beauty. Which was looking as close to white as I possibly could. He hated that I stayed outside when it was sunny too, didn't want me to get too dark I guess.

Now, since I have been free*from a relaxer and my ex* whoooo LAWD the play I have been getting. All types of men approach me and compliment me on my hair. I have always thought I was pretty fly but my flyness meter really high now. Going natural has boosted my self-esteem. Men can read when you're confident and men love a confident woman.

Tell it like it is sista girl! WHITE GIRL HAIR, AND BLACK GIRL BOOTY!! Seriously! You should've told him to go play in 5 o'clock traffic!

Curls I Do Adore wrote:My boyfriend knows im going natural and he says he's ok with it and won't look at me differently but i commented on a gurl in my school hows hair is also natural...and said that i love her hair and she called her nappy. I kinda hurt me because if she thinks her hair is nappy what is he going to think when i'm finished transitioning?

I would've asked him if he had a problem with her hair? I think that would've been a good way to get a dialogue going about how you feel in terms of natural hair and how he TRULY feels. Its one thing to talk about it and a whole other thing for him to see you in all of your curly cuteness and not be supportive of that. If he's the same age as you he's mentally only like 11 or 12 lol so you may have to work with him if you think he's worth it. Being 16 in this day and age(and even mine) comes with a lot of pressure to fit in and do what everyone else is doing. I see you're already defying those pressures by even thinking about going natural. Talk to him and see what he says.

Lol. ok, thanks. Me and him really need to have a talk because i want to know where he stands and if he doesnt like me being natural, just like my permed ends he has to go. Lol. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

when i bc'ed i didnt tell anyone, i wasn't seeing anyone, so when i saw a long time friend afterwards, he actually surprised me. he said he liked my cut, i was so surprised actually, i guess i was afraid bc i read so many things on the internet that scared me.
alas, i havent met any new guys.
got a couple of compliments from male relatives tho

I'm excited when natural ladies say they attract a different kind of man being natural. It makes me wonder how men will react to me when I'm fully natural. I feel like I would love it if a guy came at me with more than Hey Ma! or Baby. Yeah can you ask what my name is first.