WHITE & BLK FOLKS

by FAMUdani 8th February 2010, 5:43 pm

is it just me or is it that white ppl embrace ur natural hair more than blk ppl do...i promise u i got more compliments from white ppl than i did from blks..wassup with that?!

by Tiffy2 8th February 2010, 5:54 pm

Alot of black people are still brain washed into thinking that "natural" hair is "nappy" hair. and it's sad that people are scared to embrace who they REALLY are. I know I was one of em,until I got my wake up call!

by jlowman1 8th February 2010, 6:02 pm

From the interactions I get with white people, it seems that they are more curious than anything and they try their best to not ask questions that are offensive, most anyway.

From blacks I usually dont get a compliment, its more like "are you mixed with something?" "what kinda curl kit do you have in your head" "I couldnt do that because I dont have good hair like you, mine would look nappy"... I hate ignorant comments! Dont get me wrong, I love my black people but some of us are very rude and really dont care what we say. There is a fine line between being rude and telling it like it is, and there is a way to state your opinion without being offensive and mean.

by Tiffy2 8th February 2010, 6:11 pm

giving a compliment is like pulling teeth for some people. and LMAO @"what kinda curl kit do you have in your head" do people still wear curl kits?!

by jlowman1 8th February 2010, 6:15 pm

YES INDEED! I was like curl kit!!!! What the heck, are you serious???? I just kept saying HUH? HUH? HUH? like I didnt know what she was talking about until she was forced to change her delivery! lmao, she finally said is your hair naturally curly? DING DING DING, better question and now I will give you a better answer! lol

by **Lynnieluve** 8th February 2010, 6:32 pm

I agree with jlowman. They are curious about our curls. When my neighbor finally saw my hair, she was like, "Oh, you have a texturizer too?" I told her no. She looked shocked. I bet she thought I was lying.

by jlowman1 8th February 2010, 7:05 pm

I never knew what a texturizer was until I started wanting to learn more about all things hair. lol

by KinkyKurls4Krystal 8th February 2010, 7:30 pm

I completely agree. I work with an all white staff and they are more curious than anything else. I knew the monday after my BC Id be in for a world of comments and questions, and sure enough I was but I embrace it all.

As for other Blacks. All of my female friends seem to like it-at least that's what they tell me. The males...thats another story. lol

by Mz. Thang 8th February 2010, 7:39 pm

I totally agree....I work with majority white ppl and every time I do something different even if it is just a simple puff they are so amazed. A lot of blk ppl say exactly what jlowman said and I find it hilarious actually. They also make comments like nature hair is too much work and I'm like are u serious? It is just like anything else once you learn it it is nothing...what can be more easier then wash n go?

by CreoleLady88 8th February 2010, 8:05 pm

I've only had my haircut for a day, and i've had good and bad reactions from both races. My fam loved it, but grandma hated it! My teachers at school, who are white, loved it, but my coworkers, which are also white didnt say a word! They looked in shock and dismayed! But of course i didnt care! lol

by jlowman1 8th February 2010, 8:42 pm

CreoleLady88 wrote:I've only had my haircut for a day, and i've had good and bad reactions from both races. My fam loved it, but grandma hated it! My teachers at school, who are white, loved it, but my coworkers, which are also white didnt say a word! They looked in shock and dismayed! But of course i didnt care! lol

My Grandmother hated mine at first as well. She almost cried, she was like "why did you cut all that pretty hair off?" Im like Gma, its not that serious! lol It'll grow back!
Then I thought ok, her generation holds hair to such a high standard and if its not long and relaxed, its nappy and unmanageable.

Your hair is GORGEOUS by the way!

by bholmes87 8th February 2010, 8:57 pm

jlowman1 wrote:YES INDEED! I was like curl kit!!!! What the heck, are you serious???? I just kept saying HUH? HUH? HUH? like I didnt know what she was talking about until she was forced to change her delivery! lmao, she finally said is your hair naturally curly? DING DING DING, better question and now I will give you a better answer! lol

Lol you had me cracking up reading your posts! But they're so true!! Personally I've gotten good responses from pretty much everybody, partly because I'm on a college campus with hundreds of other natural hair ladies so it's not so out of the norm. I can tell I'm the most addicted to youtube though because I change my hairstyle like twice a week! lol I just wanted to agree with you about better questions getting better answers. I don't have time to respond to stupidity unless you're really trying to learn something. Otherwise leave the ignorance at home!

by CreoleLady88 8th February 2010, 8:59 pm

jlowman1 wrote:
CreoleLady88 wrote:I've only had my haircut for a day, and i've had good and bad reactions from both races. My fam loved it, but grandma hated it! My teachers at school, who are white, loved it, but my coworkers, which are also white didnt say a word! They looked in shock and dismayed! But of course i didnt care! lol

My Grandmother hated mine at first as well. She almost cried, she was like "why did you cut all that pretty hair off?" Im like Gma, its not that serious! lol It'll grow back!
Then I thought ok, her generation holds hair to such a high standard and if its not long and relaxed, its nappy and unmanageable.

Your hair is GORGEOUS by the way!

Thanks girl, urs is too! But yeah the older generation is set in their ways! She'll like it once it grows out, but as of right now she just looks at me with disgust! lol!

by oooop2 8th February 2010, 9:25 pm

I get more compliments from black folks. Many seem intrigued by my hair and ask me a lot of questions about being/going natural.

by FAMUdani 9th February 2010, 11:00 am

yea i was dumb to the fact what my hair is gonna look like and im goin 2 have kinks flyin all over the place! im still experimenting but i think i got it 2 where it looks halfway decent! im still learning to embrace my hair-a work in progress

white lady at my job asked me "what happened to your hair?"- i had braids and took them down- i wanted to say u white devil-lol sike naw i had 2 put on that fakeness and was like nuthin i just took my hair down and rolled my eyes when she wasnt lookin..lol

@ jlowman1-as far as the hair kit goes i think they talkin about that s-curl spray mess-just dumb

@ KinkyKurls4Krystal- i hear u on the male part oooo weee

by NikG20 9th February 2010, 11:35 am

Unfortunately, I would have to agree. My daughter, so far, has only ever gotten compliments from white people while her hair was out and natural. Well, in real life anyway. She gets compliments from all the other fab natural ladies in forums and such. There was one incident though, where we were walking down the street to the park area, and a white man kept turning around and staring at her hair like what the heck? Her hair was all combed out so it was extra big. I think it looked pretty good!!!

I let her wear her hair down to school for family fun day last year for the first time ever, as soon as she walked in one of her teachers (who is black, and relaxed) said "Girl what happened to your hair?" and it was NOT a good reaction at all. She didn't see her father and I behind the door.

I agree with Tiffy2 though. I think a lot of people still associate natural hair with being "nappy", which in their mind, is bad.

I think it really all starts from your childhood. It's like a vicious cycle. Your parents may have been told they had bad hair, so they eventually relaxed it, then they tell you growing up you have nappy hair or bad hair, and hair day is usually a struggle and something no one really wants to be bothered with, which is evident. So you start to believe as a child straight hair is the way to go, because you get your hair blowdryed and pressed, etc. Then when your hair is pressed you receive a ton of compliments from family and strangers, so as a child you think hmm, people really like my hair like this, so you REALLY start to believe straight hair is the way to go.

For the record, I'm half mexican/white. I have definitely witnessed the above cycle though. Even myself, I had curly hair once upon a time, then I noticed how much attention my sister got when she flat ironed her hair, so I started flat ironing my hair, and boy oh boy did the attention come. Everyone seemed to love my hair, so in my mind, that was what my hair should look like. And now look, my hair has heat damage. I'm proud to say I haven't touched the flat iron in over 2 months though. Very Happy

Anyway, I'm totally rambling. Sorry!! lol

by Erica5417 9th February 2010, 1:36 pm

I used to think that but then I had to realize who I was around. I attend a predominately white university and I work at the same university. For the most part-- I'm only around white people (I'm the only Black person in my graduate program). White people do seem to be more curious, especially since a lot of them have said that they thought Black women were born with straight hair.

by LilyFlower8604 9th February 2010, 1:54 pm

I live in central Wisconsin, where there are few few few minorities, so when I started transitioning I got a ton of compliments from my white coworkers and friends. But when I went home for the holidays to Detroit, the only compliments I received were from my friends and the women in my family.

The men in my family asked me if I was going for some Zulu jigaboo look. My dad, who is one of the least judgemental men I know, I mean the man has never said anything bad about me, asked me what the heck did I do to may hair and kept silent when my mom explained to him that I was going natural. Meanwhile, my white boyfriend has been.... lol, adjusting to the new look (he met me when I was str8 and long with a relaxer he could put his hands through).

by BajanPrincess82 9th February 2010, 3:32 pm

White people barely ever say anything to me about my hair. Most of my compliments come from my husband and and black women (strangers and women I know).

by poeticlyspkng 9th February 2010, 4:35 pm

Lots of interesting comments on this subject. I did the BC on April 23, 2009, during my lunch hour. When I returned to work, I think many folks- black and white were in shock. But it was one of my white co-workers who embraced my new hairstyle first. She marveled at the fact that my face was no longer hidden (traditionally my hair has covered it in some form or fashion, bangs, etc). My family was dumb-struck. They either said nothing or said- it looks nice on you with trepidation in their voices. Ultimately though sistas have embraced my hair. They often say the things many of you have heard- they can't believe I did it, they wouldn't be brave enough, their hair wasn't as good as mine, etc. I always tell them that I thought/said the same thing. So I think I've experienced the whole gamut but for the most part- people have been open. I think the natural hair movement in Ohio though is pretty strong and that helps.

by jlowman1 9th February 2010, 5:17 pm

poeticlyspkng wrote:Lots of interesting comments on this subject. I did the BC on April 23, 2009, during my lunch hour. When I returned to work, I think many folks- black and white were in shock. But it was one of my white co-workers who embraced my new hairstyle first. She marveled at the fact that my face was no longer hidden (traditionally my hair has covered it in some form or fashion, bangs, etc). My family was dumb-struck. They either said nothing or said- it looks nice on you with trepidation in their voices. Ultimately though sistas have embraced my hair. They often say the things many of you have heard- they can't believe I did it, they wouldn't be brave enough, their hair wasn't as good as mine, etc. I always tell them that I thought/said the same thing. So I think I've experienced the whole gamut but for the most part- people have been open. I think the natural hair movement in Ohio though is pretty strong and that helps.

I love the fact that you did your big chop on your lunch break. How cool is that! You made it seem just like any other old thing people do on their break (i.e. pay bills, get nails done, get a few things for the house) LOVE IT! lol

by CurlsGalore 9th February 2010, 6:01 pm

For me, I'd say it's half and half. My co-workers (mostly white) always have good things to say about my hair. They don't really ask questions like the ones most have you posted, but they just say simply, "cute hair" and there is little conversation to follow. From my experience, I think black people are more curious. I get the "how do you get your hair like that" questions, or "you can really pull it off" comments from them.

by catcurls 9th February 2010, 6:19 pm

CreoleLady88 wrote:
jlowman1 wrote:
CreoleLady88 wrote:I've only had my haircut for a day, and i've had good and bad reactions from both races. My fam loved it, but grandma hated it! My teachers at school, who are white, loved it, but my coworkers, which are also white didnt say a word! They looked in shock and dismayed! But of course i didnt care! lol

My Grandmother hated mine at first as well. She almost cried, she was like "why did you cut all that pretty hair off?" Im like Gma, its not that serious! lol It'll grow back!
Then I thought ok, her generation holds hair to such a high standard and if its not long and relaxed, its nappy and unmanageable.

Your hair is GORGEOUS by the way!

Thanks girl, urs is too! But yeah the older generation is set in their ways! She'll like it once it grows out, but as of right now she just looks at me with disgust! lol!

Hi Ladies - I'm 51 and a grandma to boot did my bc 8/2009, I'm very proudly & happily 6mos natural now. I've recently encouraged my daughter-in-law to allow my grandaughter to keep her bsl natural locks, she's 9 so not really bsl yet, lol but you feel me. So pleeeaase ladies, do not do what has been done to us as a people for decades "Let's not stereotype others, be it gender, ethniciy or age".

BTW everyone's avatar looks great!!

Aging is like fine wine, it gets better with time!

by MsJay1121 9th February 2010, 6:25 pm

catcurls wrote:
CreoleLady88 wrote:
jlowman1 wrote:
CreoleLady88 wrote:I've only had my haircut for a day, and i've had good and bad reactions from both races. My fam loved it, but grandma hated it! My teachers at school, who are white, loved it, but my coworkers, which are also white didnt say a word! They looked in shock and dismayed! But of course i didnt care! lol

My Grandmother hated mine at first as well. She almost cried, she was like "why did you cut all that pretty hair off?" Im like Gma, its not that serious! lol It'll grow back!
Then I thought ok, her generation holds hair to such a high standard and if its not long and relaxed, its nappy and unmanageable.

Your hair is GORGEOUS by the way!

Thanks girl, urs is too! But yeah the older generation is set in their ways! She'll like it once it grows out, but as of right now she just looks at me with disgust! lol!

Hi Ladies - I'm 51 and a grandma to boot did my bc 8/2009, I'm very proudly & happily 6mos natural now. I've recently encouraged my daughter-in-law to allow my grandaughter to keep her bsl natural locks, she's 9 so not really bsl yet, lol but you feel me. So pleeeaase ladies, do not do what has been done to us as a people for decades "Let's not stereotype others, be it gender or ethniciy".

BTW everyone's avatar looks great!!

I want to see your driver's license!!! 51???! Shocked

But you have a point.... my grandma loves my natural hair too....

But she's also natural; not a determinant, but I think it helps...

by jlowman1 9th February 2010, 6:31 pm

catcurls wrote:
CreoleLady88 wrote:
jlowman1 wrote:
CreoleLady88 wrote:I've only had my haircut for a day, and i've had good and bad reactions from both races. My fam loved it, but grandma hated it! My teachers at school, who are white, loved it, but my coworkers, which are also white didnt say a word! They looked in shock and dismayed! But of course i didnt care! lol

My Grandmother hated mine at first as well. She almost cried, she was like "why did you cut all that pretty hair off?" Im like Gma, its not that serious! lol It'll grow back!
Then I thought ok, her generation holds hair to such a high standard and if its not long and relaxed, its nappy and unmanageable.

Your hair is GORGEOUS by the way!

Thanks girl, urs is too! But yeah the older generation is set in their ways! She'll like it once it grows out, but as of right now she just looks at me with disgust! lol!

Hi Ladies - I'm 51 and a grandma to boot did my bc 8/2009, I'm very proudly & happily 6mos natural now. I've recently encouraged my daughter-in-law to allow my grandaughter to keep her bsl natural locks, she's 9 so not really bsl yet, lol but you feel me. So pleeeaase ladies, do not do what has been done to us as a people for decades "Let's not stereotype others, be it gender, ethniciy or age".

BTW everyone's avatar looks great!!

Aging is like fine wine, it gets better with time!

51 WOOOOOW (in my Flavor Flav voice)! You sooo dont look it. I didnt mean to stereotype at all. I should have said most of the older women in my family all have this mentality, especially my grandmother even though her mother (my GG is what I call her) has gorgeous bsl white natural hair. I love playing in her hair, its so soft!

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