I'm so frustrated.

After lurking for about two months, I've decided to post. Yay! Well, to introduce myself: I'm just a regular sixteen year old girl who lives in Brooklyn and is completely fed up with her natural hair. I'm not sure what my hair texture is (I think it's 3C/4A though). I've been trying a lot of different things for my hair and I'm using (I think) good products. My hair keeps breaking off though! I don't know what the problem is. It's so frustrating. To make matters worse, I cannot style hair and neither can my mom. I'm at wits end and am just about ready to cut off my hair and that isn't such a good idea 'cause my head is huge. I want my hair to look the way it used to.

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Me in second grade.

I got a relaxer in 5th grade, but my hair NEVER was super straight.Then, stupid me, decided to ask for another one in 7th grade and it was another mistake. So, from eighth grade until..probably ninth grade, I just styled my hair by slapping gel in my hair into a ponytail. That's it.

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That's a picture of my wet hair, taken a few days ago.

I'm just asking for some kind of guidance, I guess. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

The products I use right now are:
Organix Coconut Milk Shampoo and Conditioner
CD Tui Hair Smoothie
Shea Butter
Coconut Oil
VO5 Moisture Milks Conditioner (Passionfruit Smoothie)
JBCO

Oh and if someone could help me with my ridiculous amount of frizz, I'd be forever grateful haha

Karyn-

Welcome. From your picture it looks like you have beatiful curlies.

I would try to adjust your regimen, ChrsLvsBks is my mentor and she is GREAT. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] She helped me with my regimen and I saw a difference immediately with the breaking. Moisture, Moisture, Moisturize, like Chrs said it will help with the breakage and frizz.

Be Patient and Congrads on going Natural.

gorgeous head of hair! woooow! u can do plenty of styling with some 2 strands!

You are using great products and you have beautiful curls. How do you wear your hair now? You could do flat twists, cornrows, twist-outs, braid-outs, bantu-knot outs, and other styles you can find on this board. Don't give up and cut off your beautiful hair. You have so many styling options with your length!

Wow, you do have some beautiful curls!!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Your products are fine. You just need a regimen and some styling tips. For regimen, do whatever Chrs tells you to do. She gives great advise and knows exactly what she is talking about [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] . For styling tips, look at Chrs and Tia's bar and butters challenge on the form. Tia (the one with the hearts on both sides of her name) has a fotki that will blow your mind. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Her creative styling ablility is fabulous. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Here is TIA's site on CN. But check out her fotki too.
http://www.curlynikki.forumotion.com/butters-n-bars-miss-naturally-beautiful-you-2010-challenge-f14/tiashauntee-t445-650.htm

I agree with the others - you have lovely looking hair.

Can you describe the breakage? Is it short strands or long strands with the bulb at the end. This will give you a clue as to what your hair needs.

Would suggest braids, twists or cornrows for styles. They can be kept in which is great for reducing the stress of what-style-shall-I -have-today? You'll get better at styling with practice as you become more confident with your natural hair.

ChrsLvsBks wrote:First, welcome. There are so many on here to help advise you.

For a regimen, you could co wash with the VO5 at least once a week, more if possible. When soaking wet and after detangling, section hair in four and apply oil. Then apply either Shea butter or CD's hair smoothie. Try to add the moisturizer in a raking and smoothing to ensure hair strands are coated.

You could also do a DC with the CD hair smoothie, Organix conditioner, JBCO and coconut oil at least once a week. This may help you have less frizz.

Thanks for the welcome!

I just did what you suggested and twisted my hair so I can wear it out tomorrow. I'll follow this regimen and definitely will update you if it's helping. Thanks so much!

neethair wrote:Karyn-

Welcome. From your picture it looks like you have beatiful curlies.

I would try to adjust your regimen, ChrsLvsBks is my mentor and she is GREAT. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] She helped me with my regimen and I saw a difference immediately with the breaking. Moisture, Moisture, Moisturize, like Chrs said it will help with the breakage and frizz.

Be Patient and Congrads on going Natural.

Thanks

Patience is definitely not a quality I have haha. I just want my hair to grow, but it's either getting single strand knots from wearing it out too much or it's just not growing at all. I'm going to have to work on my protective styling.

NubieNattyTwn-kisha wrote:gorgeous head of hair! woooow! u can do plenty of styling with some 2 strands!

Thanks

I've done two strand twists, but they got really frizzy after like...a day or two. To combat frizz, I've read that people cornrow the roots, but I can't cornrow haha. I'll definitely try them again though. They always look so cute.

BajanPrincess82 wrote:You are using great products and you have beautiful curls. How do you wear your hair now? You could do flat twists, cornrows, twist-outs, braid-outs, bantu-knot outs, and other styles you can find on this board. Don't give up and cut off your beautiful hair. You have so many styling options with your length!

Thanks

Nowadays, I usually wear my hair in a donut bun or I twist/braid it the night before and wear it out like that:
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Not the best of pictures, but it shows how my hair looks dry and curly. This was taken on Christmas and I probably braided it wet at night and unbraided it. Can't remember the products I used though. Didn't have shea nor coconut oil though. NO JBCO either.


I'm going to try to learn how to flat twist or cornrow. After about two days, my twist/braid out looks horrible. Hopefully Youtube can teach me something!

Intelligentbeauty wrote:Wow, you do have some beautiful curls!!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Your products are fine. You just need a regimen and some styling tips. For regimen, do whatever Chrs tells you to do. She gives great advise and knows exactly what she is talking about [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] . For styling tips, look at Chrs and Tia's bar and butters challenge on the form. Tia (the one with the hearts on both sides of her name) has a fotki that will blow your mind. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Her creative styling ablility is fabulous. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Here is TIA's site on CN. But check out her fotki too.
http://www.curlynikki.forumotion.com/butters-n-bars-miss-naturally-beautiful-you-2010-challenge-f14/tiashauntee-t445-650.htm

Thanks you ladies are so nice

Thanks for the advice! I'll definitely check their threads out. I've seen Tia's fotki a lot and love it. I hope I'll be able to do the styles she can do someday. Thanks for the link too.

R2D2 wrote:I agree with the others - you have lovely looking hair.

Can you describe the breakage? Is it short strands or long strands with the bulb at the end. This will give you a clue as to what your hair needs.

Would suggest braids, twists or cornrows for styles. They can be kept in which is great for reducing the stress of what-style-shall-I -have-today? You'll get better at styling with practice as you become more confident with your natural hair.

Thank you so much

Uh..to tell you the truth. I have no clue. It falls out a lot though. If I try to comb it dry, it comes out. I can't not comb it though because it tangles easily, even though I detangle whilst my hair is wet and full of conditioner. I don't know if it's my diet, but I'm thinking it might be. I'm a vegetarian and have been for about three years now, but I'm pretty unhealthy. I'm working on it, but I'm not sure if I'm getting the amount of protein and iron I need and I'm pretty sure that affects (effects? haha I never know) the health of my hair. I'm definitely going to try to learn how to cornrow, but my twists look super frizzy after a day or so.



Thanks for the help everyone [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Karyn~

You have gotten advice from the best. If you follow what ChrsLvsBks suggested you should see improvement in a few days. I'm new to the forum, and the advice I've received here has been an answer to my prayers.

I join the forum the second day of this month, and about a week after that my hair began to shed real bad; I read it could have been sweetdrk1, lynn or ChrsLvsBks (don't remember but I think it was sweetdrk1) that you should expect to lose from 50 - 100 strands of hair daily.

If you shampoo or co-wash ofter you will see that much or a little more. What I did was trim my ends, did a DC, and added moisture, moisture, moisture. (creams, hydrating balm..ect) I had to establish a hair care regiment that included DC every week...this was my hair required because I was shampooing my hair almost 3 -4 times a week. (learned about co-washing and tried to cut back to 1 no more that two times a week) Also, you can add oils (EVOO, EVCO ect) to your conditioner (don't rinse it out) and style as usual.

Additionally, your diet does play a big role in your health, hair, and skin. I've started taking vitamins and I drink plenty of water. Today...I plan to start some type of healthy eating regiment. (I figure if I call it this it won't feel like a diet..!) Healthy in; Healthy out!

I haven't had success with my protective styles lasting past 2 days; however, I have a twa and it is a work in progress for me.

You have beautiful hair wet or dry. Be patient and please DON'T cut your beautiful locks.

Maybe I need glasses because....your hair does not look dry to me. When I had a problem with dryness I started deep conditioning my hair weekly. After about a month I could tell a huge difference. A lot of times our hair does not do what we want the first time but repetition and patience will pay off in the end. Also, watch what you are taking in your body-all that work for healthy hair will be lost if you are not drinking water and filling your body with junk. I also see that you are in NY-the winter in NC has been ridiculously dry this season so I can't imagine how it feels up north. I make it a habit to wear hats whenever possible to protect my hair from the drying winds and I moisturize and seal nightly. Once you develop a regimen that works for you the frustration will decrease.

Maybe to help with the twist out.... leave the twists in longer?

I used to twist at night and take them down the next day--but by day 2 the frizz was insane!

... but recently I left my twists in for about 5 days, and the twistout was sooo much better!

I feel you on the frustration, though. I'm just beginning to discover what my hair likes/doesn't like. The process is definitely trial and error, but it has gotten easier as I've learned what to do and what not to do. Rest assured, we've all been there (and are still there)! It will get better, I promise!

yea. i agree with the other ladies. your hair looks pretty good, but could always benefit from a consistent regimen. you are on the right path!

You've already gotten some great advice, so I don't have anything new to add. I just want to tell you that I think your hair is beautiful! I love your twist out pic. Very pretty.

You have a gorgeous head of curlies ... geez

Karyn,
I second the motion that you have beautiful hair.....you curls look awesome! But I don't find it strange that we all get a lil frusated at times [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] but thanks to forums like this we can bond and make it all better!!

I have not advice that the others haven't already offered. I just wanted to say Beautiful hair

Thanks you guys.

Update on my hair: I've been experimenting with twists for the past two weeks and they aren't the cutest (on me) but I LOVE the twist outs. Last Monday, I washed and deep conditioned using Chrs' suggestion and my hair felt amazingly soft and smelt really good. I twisted on dry hair using shea butter, coconut oil, and ecostyler (the green one) for hold. I liked the twists, but it got frizzy quickly. On Friday, I wore a twist out and all eyes were on me lol. I loved it. I cowashed that following night and then re-twisted using whipped shea butter (mixed with coconut oil. I love it!) and the ecostyler on wet to damp-ish hair and it shrunk up a lot, but my hair is a lot softer (on dry hair, that ecostyler took a couple of days for that 10 strength hold to wear off hahah). Every night, I've been moisturizing my twists (going one-by-one) with the whipped shea butter. So now, I'm just gonna rock twists until Monday and by then I'll be in Orlando at the best place in the world: Disneyworld! I hope Mickey can handle my twist out


Thanks again

i agree with everyone that u have gorgeous curls!!! :-)