Blakbutterfli - Leona and I are BACK!

Ok. I had just written a VERY long post about my hair goals for 2010. Somehow, my page refreshed itself and I am TOO tired from praise dance practice to re-type. So, I will on tomorrow, but this will give me a chance to sleep on it and really think if I want to write these goals on CN.com. Cuz, I believe you all will keep me on track with them.

Ok. My first resolution is to use, apply, love and understand the meaning of ACCEPTANCE.

I need to learn to love and appreciate the hair I have. I may never have curls down my back and one day, I will be ok with that. I want to learn to more love the hair I have on my head and not compare it to other, which I am constantly doing.

Now, with this acceptance, I have to temper it and not become complacent. Just because I may not have curls down my back does not mean I just toss my hands to the heavens up above and scream "oh well" and let my hair go to hell in a hand basket. With acceptance comes love and that love is what will keep me treating my hair the best I can.

More to follow....

Thanks@ chrslvsbks

That's a great start BlakButterfli!!

I agree, FANTASTIC start! We "got cha back" girl!!!

---Reese

Thanks @ Lynnie and Frestyles.

The second part of my new relationship with this hair of mine is DEDICATION.

I go on YouTube. I go on CN.com. I go on MotownGirl. I go to LHCF. I go EVERYWHERE. And I admire people.I envy people. I try and may give a 1/2 effort in emulating what someone does. But, as far as being fully 100% dedicated to Method A, Product B or Plan C - I can't say I was on it at the level I needed to be to gauge whether I have results or not.

So, I'm ready to re-dedicate myself to findout what's good for my hair and my body overall. Honestly, I"m not a negative person, I"m just a realist (lol - that's what all pessimists say) and I really feel like my hair is not going to be any longer, stronger, thicker than it already is. But, until I get dedicated and really try - I have to give these strands a fighting chance.

So, today - I stepped out on a limb and into my wallet. I purchased AOHR Conditioner and plan to use it as a leave-in and if that doesn't work, I'll pass it on and try something else. Or maybe I'll try it as a DT and if it doesn't work...well, you know the drill.

I love the ACCEPTANCE portion of your goals. I hope I would have achieved this goal on the day of my BC.

I love the goals you are setting for yourself and your hair. Something you should think about is what exactly you want for your hair. The most important thing for me when it comes to my hair is it being soft and moisturized. So when I purchase products, that's what I am looking for.

Make sure you use the AOHSR several times before you decided whether you like it or not. Speaking from personally experience, I try things one time and if doesnt do what it did for someone elses hair, I am ready to shelf it. But my motto now is, use a product several times before I make my final decision on whether I like it or not. If it is not amazing, then that's ok...use it anyway (as long as it's not harming my hair). You can add oils to products you thought you didnt like and it ends up working really well. You could as add conditioners you dont like that much with water and make a leave in conditioner. That's just a few ideas. I hope this helps.

lol @: "I"m not a negative person, I"m just a realist"
-->i say this all the time!

but i do think it's great that your hair goals focus more on you as a person, versus length goals, etc.

I love your acceptance and your dedication. I like everyone else is here if you need support. I still feel like I am new and that is why I love this forum. Everyone is so helpful!! good stuff!

Lynnieluve wrote:I love the goals you are setting for yourself and your hair. Something you should think about is what exactly you want for your hair. The most important thing for me when it comes to my hair is it being soft and moisturized. So when I purchase products, that's what I am looking for.

Make sure you use the AOHSR several times before you decided whether you like it or not. Speaking from personally experience, I try things one time and if doesnt do what it did for someone elses hair, I am ready to shelf it. But my motto now is, use a product several times before I make my final decision on whether I like it or not. If it is not amazing, then that's ok...use it anyway (as long as it's not harming my hair). You can add oils to products you thought you didnt like and it ends up working really well. You could as add conditioners you dont like that much with water and make a leave in conditioner. That's just a few ideas. I hope this helps.

Thank you, Ms. Luve. What I want for my hair, honestly, at this point is some length. I feel like I am still rocking a TWA after over 2 years of being natural, and when I see someone who's been natural for a shorter period of time, but with WAY more hair, it's very frustrating and disheartening to me. That is why I've tried to come up with some more ways to love the hair I have because constantly comparing myself and my hair to others is wearing on my self-esteem.

So far, I am liking the AOHSR. The scent is VERY strong - lol - but it left my hair feeling very soft and it detangled pretty well. Yeah, I'm really guilty of trying something once or twice and if it doesn't perform - it is banished under the sink. lol Part of my goal this year is to try mixing some more homemade things for my hair and seeing how they work and experimenting with more styles.

And thank Lynnie for all of your comments on what I write. I really appreciate all of your feedback and affirming musings.

Kea::curls wrote:lol @: "I"m not a negative person, I"m just a realist"
-->i say this all the time!

but i do think it's great that your hair goals focus more on you as a person, versus length goals, etc.

lol - My mom tells me that's just something a real negative person says.

The crazy thing is that this whole hair thing is really making me touch on OTHER things I am insecure about and how my self-esteem is affected. I really do have a goal of length, since I feel like my hair has reached some plateau of mediocrity, but I am trying to love it for what it is. As a person, I am realizing I am not as confident as I always portray to the world that I am and I am trying to work on that. It's made me examine what has affected me and made me the way I am and how/if/when I can repair it.

All of this because I decided to cut my hair. lol

sweetdrk1 wrote:I love your acceptance and your dedication. I like everyone else is here if you need support. I still feel like I am new and that is why I love this forum. Everyone is so helpful!! good stuff!

Thank you, sweetdrk1! I am ALWAYS in need of support. lol CN.com has become a little curly home away from home for me and I am grateful for your's and others support on here.

My hair entry for the day.

For some reason, it seems like I am losing a lot of hair when I twist it each night. I talked about this a little on last week and said I would post a picture of the hair that I end up losing when I'm twising. A little background on what I do...

...my hair is pretty soft to begin with - softness is not even one of the traits I go after when I try new products, because genetically, Mama gave it to me. I am usually after curl definition and my long-term goal is added length. So, my current routine is to co-wash with Organix Shea Butter Conditioner and then I apply Giovanni Direct Leave-In Conditioner. I use my fingers to get this through my hair - no comb. After that, I use a dab of CD Healthy Hair Butter and a little Shea Butter to twist my hair.

The problem is, as I run the CDHH and the Shea Butter down each strand of my hair - TWANG! The is the literal noise I hear when my strands break sometimes. I don't know if the Giovanni is not providing enough slip or if I need to come through it with an actual comb and THEN twist - but something's gotta give.

I'm seriously thinking about getting my hair braided into kinky twists or something to give it a break until I figure this out. Maybe I should try a protein treatment? I'm just lost right now.

I'll be posting a picture when I get home of the hair in my sink.

When shedding increase with my hair, I've found I need protein.
Here is a convo I had with ChrsLvsBks about moisture vs protein. I hope this helps. Make sure you post the pic.

ChrsLvsBks wrote:

Lynnieluve wrote:Big Sis, I have a question. Can you give me the run down on how you know when your hair needs moisture vs protein? I remember you saying something about if it snaps then_____, and if it stretches then____. Where the blanks are is what I need you to fill in. LOL!! Thanks a bunch.

If it snaps quickly when wet, it needs moisture. If it stretches a lot before snapping, up your protein. If you pull it and makes a snap sound, your moisture/protein balance is fine. As for time between stretching and snapping, I would think hair shouldn't snap after a second or two of pulling it, and I would think hair should not stretch for more than 10 seconds, give or take based on length of hair. I suggest using recent shed hairs but I sometimes pull hair from different zones (ear; nape and crown).

Kea wrote:YES!!! to add onto Lynn's question...

When I watch youtube videos, etc. i love the springy curls that a lot of ladies with tighter curls (4a/b?...i'm not good with hair types) seem to have. When I pull my curls they DO curl back on themselves...but they don't spring back quickly. i don't know my hair type, but i do seem to have somewhat loose curls. So, i'm not sure if my "lack of spring" is just the nature of my hair, or if it means that something is wrong?

--->love the flat twists &&& bun!!!

Your hair may not snap back quickly if your curls are looser. They should snap back though. If they do not, you can add some protein over time. Do not skip the moisture in the process.

The front of my hair is looser, and finding the right balance has been difficult. I have to determine the overall look I want to achieve to know how much or little to add their. The hair above my ears and and my hair line, love moisture so I have to be careful not to add too much protein. To top it all off, I have grays intermixed in my hair so they are a whole 'nother story.

The hair seems to be snapping when I am running the conditioner and the other products in it before I twist them. The hair just feels very wiry to me. My hair at the front curls better than at the back and the left side of my head seems to be a totally different texture than the right. But, I also sleep on my left side and the hair is shorter there, but I don't know if it's because of how I sleep.

When I smooth each piece of hair that I'm twisting, I will find long strands are sticking to my hand. I'll post the pic when I get home. My hair is 4a mostly, with some 4b at the back.

I hope ChrsLvsBks chimes in because she is the natural hair guru. Whenever I have questions, I just ask her.

Excuse my rusty sink - we're replacing it this year! This is the hair I lost last night - but I get this almost every night!

That doesn't look like a lot, do you put oil on your fingers when you twist.
? That helps me tremendously

That's not much at all! I need to take a pic of mine....you would probably think I was going bald if you think that is a lot.

@sweetdark1 - No, I don't have oil on my fingers, but I have some EVOO in my kitchen. Is that what you are meaning or would use?

@Lynnieluve - it seems like a lot to me. Maybe because I'm still rocking a TWA after being natural for over 2 years. lol @ thinking you are going bald.

BlakButterfli wrote:@sweetdark1 - No, I don't have oil on my fingers, but I have some EVOO in my kitchen. Is that what you are meaning or would use?

@Lynnieluve - it seems like a lot to me. Maybe because I'm still rocking a TWA after being natural for over 2 years. lol @ thinking you are going bald.

I use coconut oil and olive oil to untwist my hair.

@Lynnie - I usually am getting the breakage when I am twisting my hair, not so much with untwisting it. I think I will try the oil when I'm doing both though.

I also wonder if me twisting my hair while it's wet makes it more prone to snapping like it does and breaking off?