In desperate need of a big sis! Anxiety is overwhelming!

I've had a perm since I was 14/15 and am now 19. Everyone in my family has relaxed hair aside from one or two members. I have never been good at keeping up with my relaxed hair and I was beginning to want a change. While away at school, I usually have my hair in braided extensions because that was easiest for me and less of a hassle with a busy college life. But soon I got fed up with them and decided to take them out and go back to relaxing. Big mistake. For about four months, I stayed faithful to my relaxing regimen. I live in NYC but my school is in a small rural town in PA. The town is completely White, meaning there are no salons who have a clue what to do with relaxed hair. So whenever I needed to do my hair, I would take the five hour bus ride back home, stay the weekend, and get my hair done. I finally decided enough was enough and stopped perming my hair. My last relaxer was February 12, 2010. Since then, I've been sticking to protective styles. As seen in my photo, I now have my hair back in extensions again, though Senegalese twist this time.

When I came home for the summer in May, I revealed to my mom and sister that I was finally going through with being natural and planning on doing a big chop. The plan was immediately met with disbelief and disdain. Though my sister says she doesn't really care, she usually makes jokes about me sporting an afro. My mother, who has cut her hair various times and currently has her hair down to her ears, seems to be aghast at the thought of cutting my hair. They also asked if this idea was brought upon by my recent beau, who just happens to be White (to which I let them know that he knows exactly zip about hair in general, but actually has a huge fascination with my braids and wishes I wouldn't take them out). Not only them, but my friends are also putting in their less than encouraging two cents in. I can't seem to catch a break and it's beginning to wear on me.

I planned to go to Khamit Kinks in Brooklyn on July 10 or 17 to get my hair professionally chopped but I'm feeling a bit apprehensive. I've been researching, checking out products, hair styles, etc for months and now I'm worried. I'm feeling all sorts of insecure with people breathing down my neck and making a decision that I was really excited about; feel more like a walk to the executioner's block. Help?

Thank you so much, Muz! It's nice to have someone in my corner [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I have thought long and hard about the decision to cut my hair. It's not only the urge to see my natural hair, but it's also the desire to be rid of my relaxed ends now. Dealing with two textures frustrates me too much, hence why I resort to braids. But I also dislike having braids in my hair as well. Obviously I'm very fickle when it comes to my hair. Cutting it off and starting off anew is exactly what I want right now. Of course I have some insecurities about how I'll look for with chopped locks but I've resolved to deal with those and love me for my natural look.

It's definitely not worth the bus trip! That was probably the worst part of it all, those five hours were very close to torture. I know natural hair isn't completely easy to work with, you have to learn to care for your hair, but I'm eager to learn. This is something I'm doing for me and I just hate that my family is so against it.

Again, thank you! I definitely will be hitting you up, even if it's just to chat. I'm excited to take this huge step and am grateful for the support!

Hello Mickeshana, My family, friends, and everyone hated the fact that I cut my hair and started over. Everyone thought I had completely lost all of my mind, but in all reality I had finally found it. Its exactly what I needed and you have to make sure its what you want. If it is then GO FOR AND GOOD LUCK. My family and friends like it more and like to see what I can come up with next. I BC'd one year ago and I cant imagine having it any other way. I went to the salon faithfully for the first part of my natural journey and when i finally stop being afraid of my hair and started to learn my hair then I started to come up with so many styles. It will be an awesome feeling when a natural ask you for advice and like your hair and honestly there is no greater feeling then the mutual respect from a fellow natural. You can do this and trust me where your friends and family lack in moral support the Natural Community will make up for. If you ever have questions or just need a few encouraging words then dont hestitate to reach out because we will reach back. Here is my email: Rea984@yahoo.com Drop me a line whenever. Good luck and you will be beautiful.

I second what everyone else has said; they are speaking the truth!!!

If you are not quite ready to cut, but don't want to take the bus ride, can you do your transitioning hair yourself? there is a thread on here somewhere about how to style hair, i think it is called 'these are a few of my favorite styles' and it is under the forum called 'styling adn profiling'. i bet you could learn to do your own twist and curl. you could give yourself a few weeks of dealing with your own hair, outside of braids, and then figure out whether to cut or not. or you could get just a few inches cut off.

if your guy loves braids, he will probably fall in love with your own curls!!

i bet the people in your college town are going to love your hair also.

Thank you guys! I'm actually getting my BC this Saturday. I think my family has mostly resigned themselves to the fact that I'm going to do this, no matter what. I have no idea what my father thinks but it's not like he has much of a say anyway, lol. My best friends have come through and supported me, which has helped immensely. I'm still nervous but in a better way. I'm nervously excited and I can't wait to see my natural hair! Thank you guys again for the encouragement and really sweet words

Dont forget to show pics of your BC. Good luck hun!!!

I did it!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] the friend who came with me, <3 her!
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]the back

I love it so much, I can't stop looking at myself in the mirror, lol.