Bad hair days

Still in the process of fully embracing myself, I find that others aren't entirely embracing me. Specifically my best friend. Today we were watching Teran916 on youtube. My BFF raved about how beautiful her hair was and how when mine gets that long it will be awesome. Later on that day she told me that with my length where it is (chin length) that she wouldn't be able to handle it and if she was me she would straighten it because it looks a mess. i guess she is right...but it is a "mess" that I am getting used to and slowly growing proud of. Granted it is a bit puffy and the length is not very flattering to my big round head, but it is natural and it is actually growing. I guess the reason her statement bugs me so much is because, when I was younger, I was treated terribly by others because of my hair. Kids of all differnt ethnicities would laugh at me and some would pull on my hair. It got so bad that the principal actually allowed me to wear hats to school (which was against dress code). So many people called me ugly, and medusa. Years later after I started flat ironing my hair these same people came up to me telling me how beautiful I was and how I "changed SO much". They actually thought I was beautiful?! i was ecstatic! I figured, clearly, this had to be because of my new amazing flat hair.
My boyfriend is a huge supporter of my natural hair, but honestly I think he would be a huge supporter of me regardless if I had hair. I know this is a good thing. I also know that it should not matter what anybody thinks about my hair-and that beauty is skin deep, but that little girl who was constantly hiding her "messy hair" still exists inside me. I am so tempted to just flat iron it, but I think about all the new growth I have had and all you beautiful women with beautiful hair and I can't help but keep hoping that one day my hair will look as luscious and flattering as yours does. Wow, I am getting all teary eyed--just over hair.

Hey Curly!!

all that matters is how YOU feel about your curls PERIOD. Folks are going to say what THEY feel but it's YOUR hair. Post pic as you go along, documenting your journey helps tremendously! Welcome to the community

I keep trying to upload, but I must be doing something seriously wrong. Here let me try again

ok, now that I got it I will post a few just to give you an idea about what I am dealing with;
This is back in my silicone days
This is simply bad--I know:
This is what the bff wants me to go back to

u have gorgeous hair either way!

Aww thank you. Please excuse the picture right above the last one. I was on web cam with the boyfriend (he lives in UK), we get very bored and make stupid faces at one another. I look like a chipmunk!

Welcome!! Honey don't take the words to heart. You and your hair are beautiful. Now I will say I think you need to have a heart to heart with your bff. Tell her how it makes you feel and how she is hurting you. I am sure she will think twice once she knows the severity of her words and actions and how they affect you.

If that doesn't work we are here for you.

SheeTacular_Napps wrote:Welcome!! Honey don't take the words to heart. You and your hair are beautiful. Now I will say I think you need to have a heart to heart with your bff. Tell her how it makes you feel and how she is hurting you. I am sure she will think twice once she knows the severity of her words and actions and how they affect you.

If that doesn't work we are here for you.

Yes you guys are! That is why I love this place! As for the bff, it is hard cos i know she was being honest and wasnt saying it to be hurtful. She, like me, is a bit too forward at times and that is a part of her I embrace, but I am going to tell her how I feel. Thank all of you

Cosigning on how BEAUTIFUL you AND your curls are!!! Seriously, you hair is gorgeous!!

jcanalena79 wrote:Cosigning on how BEAUTIFUL you AND your curls are!!! Seriously, you hair is gorgeous!!

OMG! Thank you soo much! I wasn't expecting all these awesome compliments, I swear! Your hair is amazing. That is the length I want so bad.

Also I want to ask a question, I got HE Hello Hydration condish. for a rinse out and I notice Dimethicone is in the ingredients. I am about ready to take it back, but I have read that people including Nikki like this condish. and even use it for co-washes. Did they change the ingredients or is this cone ok cos it is in a condish??

CurlyCoCo wrote:

jcanalena79 wrote:Cosigning on how BEAUTIFUL you AND your curls are!!! Seriously, you hair is gorgeous!!

OMG! Thank you soo much! I wasn't expecting all these awesome compliments, I swear! Your hair is amazing. That is the length I want so bad.

Also I want to ask a question, I got HE Hello Hydration condish. for a rinse out and I notice Dimethicone is in the ingredients. I am about ready to take it back, but I have read that people including Nikki like this condish. and even use it for co-washes. Did they change the ingredients or is this cone ok cos it is in a condish??

Honestly, neither is necessarily correct. The ingredients have not changed - it does indeed have dimethicone. However, some curlies are okay with using products with this particular family of silicones because it is water soluble, especially with conditioners that they will rinse out. I, personally, have made a decision not to use any product with silicones (or parabens, or petrolatum, or mineral oil, or alcohol, etc) simply because I want my hair to learn (and myself) how to attain and achieve hair health without the input/effects of any artificial ingredient which may coat my hair and/or give it an appearance of health (softness, shine, etc.) which may or may not be accurate. However, this is my personaldecision and I'm still very much still in the learning process. Here is a great ingredients directory that you can use as a guide: http://www.tightlycurly.com/ingredients/ . Her entire website is excellent as a resource for curly girls. I don't use her methods, personally, but there are still a lot of great tips and information on there. Hope I helped! For the record, the two cone-free conditioners I use to co-wash are Giovanni Smooth As Silk Deeper Moisture conditioner and Yes to Cucumbers conditioner.

Thank you so much. that was so helpful!

You are Beautiful!!!! Your hair included! You will get to a point were you find what works for you in your hair and you rock it like nobody's business. It's about you loving you and your hair. BTW I love Teran on youtube. I just found her a week ago and just so you know everyone has different opinions. I love Terans hair while my daughter doesn't.

The shoulder length curls in your pics are what ppl are criticizing??? You look amazing! I love your hair and I think that length is gorgeous on you. Your like taren916 jr

I use HE HH and love it. I do shampoo every week and that helps prevent/decrease build-up

tiashauntee wrote:The shoulder length curls in your pics are what ppl are criticizing??? You look amazing! I love your hair and I think that length is gorgeous on you. Your like taren916 jr

I use HE HH and love it. I do shampoo every week and that helps prevent/decrease build-up

Thanks! I love me some Taren. that is the best compliment ever! I really like the smell of HE HH and I love the price. I have been using Giovanni and Kinky Curly condish., but as a full time college student and single mom I cant afford using it for just a rinse out condish too.

@jcanalena79 That site was really helpful. Thank you.

When I first saw came on curlynikki I just read these topics and posts. Granted I posted, but I felt a bit like an outsider. You guys have now made me feel at home. Thank you so much for this. Me and my hair needed it.

Yay I'm glad you started a jounal with us on the curly block!
I've told you before and I'll tell you again...you and your hair are beautiful! We are always our own worst critic so take it easy on yourself. As for your bff...tell her to kick rocks. Ok maybe not but I would let her know that her comment was hurtful and that you are on a journey & have no time for negativity, just support!

Looking forward to seeing your pics and progress!!

jamaicacurl wrote:Yay I'm glad you started a jounal with us on the curly block!
I've told you before and I'll tell you again...you and your hair are beautiful! We are always our own worst critic so take it easy on yourself. As for your bff...tell her to kick rocks. Ok maybe not but I would let her know that her comment was hurtful and that you are on a journey & have no time for negativity, just support!

Looking forward to seeing your pics and progress!!

Thank you for the comment about my hair. I have been wearing it for a month now without flat ironing it. YAY for me ! HAHA! I am a dork.
As for the bff we talked the next day and everything is good.

Glad things are good with the bff. Congrats for 1 month without the flat iron!!