The worse thing happened

I want to first say hello to everyone in the curlynikki community.

One of the worse things happened. My daughter went to spend some time with her grandmother and while she was there, her grandmother relaxed my daughter's natural hair. My daughter is 10 years old and she loved her natural hair very much.

When I first saw my daughter, I thought that she just got her hair blow dried, but little did I know, she actually got it relaxed. I was so hurt, mad, pissed off, sick to my stomach and everything else that could be imagined. First of all, she knows that I don't relax my hair nor my daughter's hair and when I asked why she did it, she pretty much made a comment like, "I think she needs to have her hair straight like ours". I literally hit the roof and was upset to the 10th power.

Now, I am going to be transitioning my daughter's hair back to 100% natural. Even though this has been a bad situation, I am going to turn it around for the good. I am going to add my daughter's transition back to natural to my fotki, youtube and other natural hair accounts, so that I can share her natural journey along with mine.

Although her grandmother was way out of line for doing that, I am going to try and stay positive for my daughter's sake. She was very hurt when she got her hair relaxed, but she is also happy now, that I am going to transition her back to natural. She knows that it is going to be a timely process, but she is willing to go on this natural journey with me.

During this process, I hope to encourage other parents that may want to transition their child or children's hair during their natural hair journey. I want to also state that if there is anyone out there that wants to do the transitioning process, I would like for them to know, that they will not be alone.


Happy Growing and God Bless

Omg! I'm sorry that happened. I look forward to following your daughters journey. Good luck!! Sounds like you need to have a talk with granny.

I can't believe her grandmother thought that was okay. My jaw dropped after that second sentence. I agree with Nik...granny needs some ground rules. I respect my elders but I also expect respect in return, including respect for personal choices.

OMG! Talk about out of line...I'm so sorry to hear that. However, I'm glad you were able to turn the situation into something positive for you and your daughter to experience together.

@NikG20

I had a talk with her before she left the house. I said what I had to say in a respectful way, but she definitely crossed that line with me.

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sitting here openmouthed with shock!!!!!! That's awful!! I understand that you have to be respectful of elders and all but that's taking the P!

I'm glad that you're looking at it in a positive light, this is definitely a new way for you and your daughter bond over her transition journey. I wish you and your daughter all the best. Maybe offer up some prayers to the Lord to open up Granny's heart and make her more tolerant of natural hair.

I told my mom that when I have kids, I want their hair to be natural. She said she would relax my daughter's hair if I leave her at her house. I hope she is joking and would never go to an extreme like this. I don't think I would ever let my daughter go over to her house again!!!

@Abisco
Thank you so much, and I am praying that she learns the importance of natural hair and how to tolerate it also.

@Janique
Hopefully, your mom was joking. As of right now, my daughter may still be able to visit her, but not without me being there and she sure will not be staying over there without me. If she cannot respect how I feel, then tuff luck for her and that's how I feel.

TwistedKurlz, that's taking line-stepping and disrespect to a new level. I'm so sorry that happened.

I stated in another thread (don't remember which one) that I relaxed my daughter's hair because I was clueless about what products to use on it natural - I know, bad mommy [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] - but she asked to go natural after seeing my hair, so I'm transitioning her right on back now. She's 12, asks a bazillion questions about natural hair/styles/products, and loves this website...seeing the pics of all the natural haired ladies like her mommy. I'm so proud of her.

We'll be in this together, girl! *eHugs*

@likethemoon

Yes, she did more than over step her boundaries. My daughter asks a lot of questions now since I have to transition her back. It's great that your daughter is going on the natural journey with you and I think that is awesome. We can definitely be in this together.

wow! I am stunned! You and your daughter will transition together.Hopefully something good will come out of this.!I wish you and your daughter the very best! stay positive! You are already off to a great start,and you have another mom and daughter to buddy up with plus everyone else.Keep us posted!

I don't even know what would have come out of my mouth after seeing my babys hair CHEMICALLY straightened. I also respect my elders but I would have to take a moment and breath before saying what was on my mind after that one. I don't know if I would trust my child to go back there for a while. It wasn't like she did something like allow your daughter to wear nail polish or get her ears pierced. Both of those things are easy fixes but it is going to take time to grow out her relaxer. How long is your babys hair?

I am sorry to hear that. Staying positive was gracious of you. You will be blessed for that. I don't think I would have made it. but you can transition together and this can deepen your bond.

And why are old schoolers always so quick to slap a relaxer on a child's head??? My stepdaughter had very damaged broken hair, and my MIL was quick to slap a relaxer on it. I would think that would be the last thing you would do. but she taught beauty school way back in 1947 before dissegregation so they think she is the hair guru.....

@raina

Yes, I am glad that there are other people that are on the transition with my daughter. I have been 100% natural since August 2007, but I did my second big chop on December 6, 2009 where I cut off about 3-5 inches.

@AfrikanLatina

You can probably imagine what was getting ready to come out of my mouth. My daughter's hair is about shoulder length now, because she had some breakage from the relaxer, but it was a little bit down her back before it was relaxed when it was blow dried straight.

@Msjakkia

Thank you so much. Even though, I was about to go on the deep end with her grandmother, I am just glad that I am able to help her with her transition back to natural. I have been natural since August 2007 and I would not dare slap any more creamy crack in my hair.

WOOOOW! You are wonderful for turning this into a positive situation. I truly think this is sad, what blatant disrespect to you as a parent. Your daughter is 10 years old and she has only worn her hair natural so I am sure that your desire for her to be natural was well established. I am not sure what type of person takes someones child and alters their appearance. Buying clothes or toys that you do not approve of is an easy fix. Temporarily or permanently alterning your childs appearance is very disturbing. This goes beyond the grandmother not understanding being natural. I NOT ONLY PRAY THAT GRANDMOTHER LEARNS THE IMPORTANCE OF NATURAL HAIR AND HOW TO TOLERATE IT BUT THAT SHE LEARNS THE IMPORTANCE OF RESPECTING YOU AS A PARENT. Obviously this is a soapbox for me so I'm going to get off of it. Your daughter is lucky to have you as a mother, I would love to follow your daughter's journey back to natural hair. Good luck to both of you!

@HumanNature

Thank you so much. Yes, it is very painful, but we will get through it and hopefully, her grandmother will understand it one day, but if she doesn't then that's on her, but I did let her know how I felt and I also let her know that I am not letting her stay over there. She may be able to visit her in the future as long as I am there with her. I am going to try and keep everyone posted about her journey. I am about to upload a clip to youtube that she made last night.

Yea i have so much to say about this. I am actually really mad. This ticked me off to no end because that is blatant disrespect. I hope that her grandmother realizes how rude this was and puts herself in your shoes because you are a mother just like she is a mother so she should understand boundaries.

I hope everything goes well with your daughters transition and nothing like this happens again. If it were me, i might not trust my child to go over there or be left alone with her without my supervision

When I first saw this on your youtube channel I though to myself, " that is a shame"! She only did this because you were not there which made your lil mama totally defenseless. She is 10 and while some know better, I am pretty sure she didn't especially since she has been natural all of her life.

Where do grands and even some parents get off?

A few months ago I let my mother talk me into getting a texturizer, yes I was 22 now 23 at the time and have a mind of my own, but it was just that pure evil persuasion [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] that can get you at anytime. Now I have started over fresh and renewed and I will be glad to join the journey with you and your girl.

Dont they know that this natural hair population is a movement [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] and when you are in too deep you might get cut for messing with our hair [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ??? LOL DUH GUESS NOT!

Take care beautiful bosom! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

@MsLizziA

Yeah, you would think that she would understand, but obviously she did not. I already let her know that she will not be visiting again if I am not with her.

@TheBeautifulSaffiyahO.

I plainly let her know how I felt about the whole situation and if she did not get it before, I am sure that she understands it now. The sad part is that my daughter kept telling her that she is not suppose to get any chemicals put in her hair, but she begged to differ. I hate it for her, because my daughter will not be going back over there alone again. You are telling the truth about getting messed up for messing with our hair, because I know that I am so serious about it. My daughter and I would glad to have you on the journey with us also.

OMG [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] <---That was my first reaction. I'm all for respecting my elders, but when your told that another person's child is not suppose to have chemicals put in their hair they should follow. Not go against it. {sigh} I'm proud that your turning this around. This will be a learning expericence for your daughter, she can see why being natural is such a better way to be. I agree with TheBeautifulSaffiyahO it is a movement.

@kinky-coily1107

You are right and the sad part about it is, she knew how my daughter and I felt about our natural hair. Yes, The BeautifulSaffiyahO was right when she said this is a movement and I believe that also.

all I can say is WoW!

@sweetdrk1

That's what a lot of people are saying now when they read about what happened and it was a big shock to my daughter and I also.