Colored Girls Therapy

Annapolitan wrote:Found the title:

"For colored guys who have gone beyond suicide and found no rainbow"

oooooo I hope he does that one next. I love seeing the man's perspective. And I cant wait for you to see the movie and chime in.

Im a first yr graduate psychology student and we briefly talked about why women choose to stay with abusive men. Most cases where ppl stay in the relationship, the woman does not make enough to support herself and children. However in the movie Kimberly had a good paying job....which throws me! Im still trying to figure out why it is that she stayed!! Love is blind....

I saw the movie with a group of ladies last Friday. And me and my cousin just kept looking at each other, because either we could relate to a character or knew some one in our family or circle of friends who experienced the things these ladies experienced. My mom read the play back when it first came out so she explained the modern changes that were made in the movie and what poems were snippets. Like she said there was one about heroin use but nothing about HIV or DL brother's because it was prevalent during that time. Which makes sense. But we both agreed that he picked the perfect actresses to play each role.

My question is: Is it me or have some people missed the whole point of this movie and assumed it was a male bashing film?

Some critics on the film haven't done their research or some of my friends on FB feel it was tooo dramatic. But I really think it was to raw for them.

npmoore04 wrote:
My question is: Is it me or have some people missed the whole point of this movie and assumed it was a male bashing film?

I wanted to talk about this also. I saw this with my mom and her boyfriend and in the end he said "I didn't like it. Why was there only one good black guy in the whole movie?"

But I replied "True but noticed there was only one black woman not messed up?"

I think it's just a cycle that you can see in not just our race but in our whole gender. I can roll off so many names of women I know thta don't respect themselves and follow no good men just as easily I can name off the no good men. It's not bashing it's just the sad truth. When one of those things change then the cycle can be stopped.

I agree that folks are missing the point of the movie. It is easy for them to say it is male bashing then address the issues.
It is just cycle like yall stated. I think another point I took from the movie is to not let our sons become bad men. For example, allowing your son see you get abused or hollering and calling your son out of his name etc. I agree that the critics have not done their research.

Thinice wrote:I agree that folks are missing the point of the movie. It is easy for them to say it is male bashing then address the issues.
It is just cycle like yall stated. I think another point I took from the movie is to not let our sons become bad men. For example, allowing your son see you get abused or hollering and calling your son out of his name etc. I agree that the critics have not done their research.

I actually cant wait to have a baby boy for this purpose. I told my friend if I die but leave a good man on this planet then my job is done. There is way too light of them, but it really can start from good up bringing.

BajanPrincess82 wrote: But, what I really don't understand is women who stay with men that beat them. He was not only whippin her butt on the regular, but those beautiful children too! I just couldn't stay...the first hit would be his last. My mom and I were talking about that and she couldn't understand it either. She said that she was married to my dad he tried to get physical once and she somehow broke his finger...that was their first and last physical altercation. She doesn't take any mess from men (or women!) and I'm the same way. What do ya'll think about that? How do women stay with men who physically hurt them and their children?

You have to really, really understand the cycle of domestic violence to even begin to (hopefully) empathize/sympathize with women in that circumstance. It's not as though people like getting beat and abused and want to stay. Most of the time by the time a man hits a woman he's already done a job mentally on her mind and self esteem . More often than not when the physical abuse starts she's embarrassed/ashamed/too scared to do anything out of fear it'll happen again/thinks it'll never happen again if she doesn't do whatever it was that lead to the alteracation. It's not as simplistic as it seems. It's about power, control, manipulation, and so much more.

I know from personal family experience and have really educated myself on it or at least have tried to. People will say, I'll never take that from a man or if that was me he would only hit me one time, etc. People don't really know what they would do until faced with that circumstance. Hopefully they'll never find themselves faced with that issue. I'm rambling but please just read up on it a little. It's more to it than people think and lots of women live in fear. We need to educate ourselves so we can support (not judge) people in those situations.

Here is just one resource that gives a little insight.

http://www.coalitionagainstviolence.ca/The%20Cycle%20of%20Violence.htm

I was very sad at the children being dropped. That broke my heart. And I hated, hated, hated the domestic violence scene. I thought the movie was great overall but it was really tough to watch some things but unfortunately very real life issues people deal with. Now I gotta read the book.

deeply_rooted_chick wrote:

npmoore04 wrote:
My question is: Is it me or have some people missed the whole point of this movie and assumed it was a male bashing film?

I wanted to talk about this also. I saw this with my mom and her boyfriend and in the end he said "I didn't like it. Why was there only one good black guy in the whole movie?"

But I replied "True but noticed there was only one black woman not messed up?"

I think it's just a cycle that you can see in not just our race but in our whole gender. I can roll off so many names of women I know thta don't respect themselves and follow no good men just as easily I can name off the no good men. It's not bashing it's just the sad truth. When one of those things change then the cycle can be stopped.

Why do people have to always turn things aroung? But maybe it is just there level of understanding. We make things so simple when it's so much deeper. The movie is about the women and their issues and dealing with them. Yes the men did bad things but also the women made some bad choices too. It's about all of that. My take away from the movie was to own who you are as a woman, don't let anyone define you. As Loretta Devine's character talked about , don't "give your stuff away" whehter it be your mind, body or soul.

Just seen For Colored Girls, What a well produced, directed and well acted movie. A couple of actresses hopefully will be up for if not the Academy Award as least nominations. This movie just really reinforced the theory that Children are born innocent, happy and care free until something happens!!Bravo, Tyler Perry

On the issue of abuse, Please remember, as a mother of two 33, & 26, it not enough to tell our Children if someone touches you to tell, we as mothers must create the space for our children to feel safe enough to come to us. It is when something happens (less serious things) that we as parents get to demonstrate how accessible we are with dealing with problems. If we are yelling, cursing and degrading over the small stuff, our children will never feel safe sharing.

U r so right curlytee!!

i just saw the movie today with my friends. i was really nervous because i heard about the rape scene and wasn't sure if i would be able to handle it, but i did. i kinda had to put on a 'ice queen' act because i would've cried throughout the whole thing lmao. i could see myself in almost all of the characters and as a 17 year old girl, that's kinda bizarre, but whatever. idk. i enjoyed it.

ETA: i think that the scene when anika noni rose did her monologue, it touched me the most. it just was extremely real to me and filled with such raw emotion.

Anika did do well.

I couldnt do the ice queen thing I had to close my eyes for the kids being dropped part even though I knew they wouldnt show it I just couldnt watch.

I saw this movie with my mother, her best friend -and daughter. We sat there in awe of the various scenes, all being surreal to us.. I couldnt help but think of how selfish I must sound to those that have faced those situations... myself walking around feeling bad because of occasional arguments with mom, or growing up without a dad.. But what about those teenagers contemplating abortion, those living in ABUSIVE situations that they CHOOSE not to escape.. what about those that have had their innocence and joy taken away from them in a matter of minutes? We all have our trials and tribulations, but I have learned that you have to put them in perspective.. sometimes the things we deal with could truly be much worse.. but I am a strong beleiver that God will never put more on us than we can bear.

This movie has most definitely made me think of life in a new way... I try to think more optimistically rather than pessimistically (sp) ... I think about the motives of others when going out or visiting a house... I think about "will I be able to make it out of here if something goes wrong" ... It truly makes you think..

But I must say that my favorite poem from the movie was Loretta Divines poem about "Her Stuff". My mom and I talked about that one for a while, myself being a virgin in high school and hitting the age where it becomes more than just a thought.. it gave me more encouragement to remain a virgin until I am ready.. not when my significant other is ready. I'll share my stuff on my time.. not your time..

Tyler Perry did a wonderful job with such a delicate topic and I feel that alot of people, sadly, missed the entire point of it all..

I saw the movie the day it came out , i couldn't wait to watch it , when i saw the trailer i got the book to get familiar with the story lines and see how will it transform on big screen he did a great job this story should be told and it has from book to theater to big screen
Now as far as the story and the characters i cried , i laughed , i wanted to fight all in 2 hours lol ,
Child molestation is a very deep rooted issue that affect people from generation to generation do you know that most offenders were also molested as a child its like a cycle that never ends , Whoopi 's character reminds me of many older black women i've encountered that think religion is the answer to the pain they can't face alone and than blame the devil for anything Wrong i think she was delusional but sometimes pain can be so deep we don't want to deal so we turn to something to help us cope and we blame Satan for everything we couldn't do
I also loved the Nurse can't remember her name her character made me laugh but so many times have we allowed a man to do with us as he pleases in the name of love "Someone almost got away with all my stuff " i loved that poem lol Than Janet character I really loved because sometimes we can be so consumed in our own misery that sometimes we don't even notice others and their problems around us life can make us bitter and mean it takes a person to walk in and show us better
Than the woman getting abused character OMG i cried , i cried so hard because i been there not to that extreme but i been there and there is no such pain deeper that i have experienced in this life where the person you think is suppose to love and protect you is the main person abusing you emotionally , physically etc it's heart breaking you convince yourself to stay in hopes it will be like it use to but it never does it only get worst , in her case downhill smh SAD
Than the young lady with the abortion and her sister that was so cold can we blame them they are just victims to their environment and lives i learned to never judge because sometimes a disturb person behavior is due to their past experience im glad as sisters they learned to watch out for each other and come together instead of tearing each other down something all of us as women shoul know , and learn
Than last but not least the rape victim , WOW i couldn't believe it i wanted to KILL him and i hope she can go back to the woman she use to be sometimes an event occur in our lives that make us someone else it was sad to watch i laughed when she slapped the corpse ... i would have too
I walked away from the story , the movie learning that we shouldn't judge for we don't know why a person is who and how they are get to know the book not the cover , i also learned to try to help others and make a difference as that person may need just that push ...
OKay i hope this wasn't to long lol