Colored Girls Therapy

So I just got done with the movie and I feel like just talking about it with everyone. So many topics and emotions. Why dont we just talk about them together?

One thing I keep noticing with Tyler Perry is the trend of mothers giving their daughters the same pain they went through. Many movies it's the daughters getting raped by the same man their mothers were abused by and the mother just turned the other way. I was so surpised by Whoopi's monologue and how she still called her daughter the devil. I guess it's because Whoopi decided to throw herself into religion to deal with the sins of other's, but it is plain ignorance.

Didn't she know her father would do this?

I'm just so thankful for my mom. When we talked about it afterwards she told me "that's why I told you if anyone touches you between your legs to tell me." and I do remember this. It is sooooo important for mothers to tell their kids to not feel ashamed and speak up if something is happening.

Anyways that part of the movie really touched me for some reason. How about you?

Ugh! Wish I could contribute but I haven't seen it yet. I'm sure many ppl haven't. But yeah, we gotta protect our kids.

I'm planning to go see it on Wednesday (my next off day) so I'll be back to this topic. Can't wait to see it!

I plan to go see it tomorrow. I will definitely check back to comment.

On the topic of abuse/molestation, I do remember my mother telling me to tell if someone touched me. I am teaching my son the same. We go through several scenarios. Oprah had a good show this past Friday about men who were abused. Tyler was on the show too,

I do believe some mothers do perpetuate their dysfunctionality and untreated issues. However, how many adult children have the courage to not participate in the drama?

Didn't see it yet, will be back!

I saw the movie. It was rough. Really rough to watch. I teach BOTH of my sons that if anyone every touches them, or TRIES to touch them or asks them that they are to not only say no, but to YELL for help, tell us, and kick and fight.
When I ask them what do you do if someone tries to touch you in your private areas they both say, without hesitation.
"One, say no. Two, yell for help, three bite them hard until your teeth meet, four, tell mom and dad."

chynadoll8799 wrote:I saw the movie. It was rough. Really rough to watch. I teach BOTH of my sons that if anyone every touches them, or TRIES to touch them or asks them that they are to not only say no, but to YELL for help, tell us, and kick and fight.
When I ask them what do you do if someone tries to touch you in your private areas they both say, without hesitation.
"One, say no. Two, yell for help, three bite them hard until your teeth meet, four, tell mom and dad."

Yeah my mom told me to never be quite and yell "your not my mom (or dad)".

It is rough. I also felt bad for the girl getting the abortion because as a young college student I always think of what if? And if I would go through the abortion what would the experience be like. This movie is defiantly a good source of birth control lol

I loved the movie. It had such raw emotion in it!

The one character that I could really identify with was with the woman that got raped. I have never been raped, but I know what it feels like to think "this guy is so nice....he really likes me....he thinks I'm beautiful...etc...",but in reality he doesn't give a darn about you. When it comes down to it he just wants to take advantage of you either emotionally, financially, sexually, or in some other manner for his own gain. After the rape, her whole personality changed...that devil stole her joy and it was so sad to watch.

One part that I know we all hated to see was that man drop those children! I couldn't believe it! But, what I really don't understand is women who stay with men that beat them. He was not only whippin her butt on the regular, but those beautiful children too! I just couldn't stay...the first hit would be his last. My mom and I were talking about that and she couldn't understand it either. She said that she was married to my dad he tried to get physical once and she somehow broke his finger...that was their first and last physical altercation. She doesn't take any mess from men (or women!) and I'm the same way. What do ya'll think about that? How do women stay with men who physically hurt them and their children?

Ok y'all got me wanting to see the movie tonight instead of tomorrow. Maybe hubby will go with me tonight. Looking forward to commenting.

BajanPrincess82 wrote: What do ya'll think about that? How do women stay with men who physically hurt them and their children?

I was surprised that he wasn't stopped but I think it made the message all that stronger. I'm glad the apartment manager told her it was her fault and she need to get up and help other people's children. Some people may think that it's harsh but it's true. You shouldn't have stayed just cause you knew this man since your 14. She didn't marry him because she knew she need to get out. I dont know why she didn't. My mom has always told me to never take that from a man. When my dad tried that she broke the tennis racket shw bought him when she hit him back with it. I'm so glad some of our mothers are strong to fight back.

I saw it. I don't know...I still can't help but think that Tyler Perry's movies have a hint of overtheatrics to them. You know...I think that the audience can recognize and see the subtlety. But I will say that "For Colored Girls" is one of the best movies he has done.

What got me is that the Michael Ealy character was holding Kimberly Elise back...She had a career and two very lovely children. Yet, fooling with him she had that dumpy apartment. He had her physically and mentally where he was. She was clearly the person in control, but he monopolized everything...Every conversation. Every interaction was based around him.

I guess the central theme is that every character is responsible for the circumstances that she found herself in and for making herself better by loving herself...Each of the women possessed the power to walk away, but they didn't.

What I got from the movie was that we all go through trials and tribulations, but the most important part is how we get up from the fall...we don't want to contribute to the "mad, angry, bitter, sad, black woman" stereotype.

I really like Loretta Devine, and the poem she recited about "her stuff". That really spoke to me because its important for women, especially young women to realize that whenever you enter a relationship with a man, you are giving him YOU and when you sleep with him, he has a part of YOU, so that decision should be made very carefully because at any moment, he can walk off with "your stuff".

The part that I related to the most was Kimberly Elise and Michael Ealy. My father and my stepfather were both alcoholics so I know what it is like to live with an alcoholic. The conversation/argument they had before he threw the kids out of the window really hit home for me just because I've lived through that.

I just hope that other women who have been through that and watch that movie, take the same message from it that I did.

Nevermind....

I think Tyler Perry did a good job. I dont understand why people get mad at his methods. The topics of the movie is hard and he decided to go full force. It really draws the audience in so it works. That's just me.

I saw this friday with my little sister and i was in tears almost the whole effin time. I felt for all them girls but the stories that hit home the most with me was Janet character. When she was doing her monologue, the part she said that she loved him on purpose, hit my heart. I can totally understand forcing yourself to fall in love with a man, and you think that you are doing your best, he let you know u aint doing a damn thing. smh.

my little sister(who is 18) told me she think this movie is the new 'color purple'. I can agree with that

I love this movie... many say it was too raw for them but it was real! I mean Me personally I have friends who lived out each and every role the characters portrayed... Its a sad thing and yes tyler perry tends to put it out there in every movie but why not have it our faces that way people wont suffer through it alone... stuff like that gets brushed under the carpet... lets reveal this beast for the evil that it is!!

The character I can relate to the most is Anika's character.. .being a victim of rape it was all too real for me... how them two minutes seem to carryout for much longer... the part that really got me was at the hospital when the police officer was like did you give off any inclination that you wanted to sleep with him..... I could have screamed right there where I sat... as I sat there remember the officer saying that exact line to me The poem Anika spilled out brought me back to reality and I was then saying SAY IT GIRL!!! Sorry for getting all personal but sad to say its REAL!

j. kinky wrote: I can totally understand forcing yourself to fall in love with a man, and you think that you are doing your best, he let you know u aint doing a damn thing. smh.

I know what you mean. I've done this too and I'm living with that guilt and mistake to this day. I learned to never force it. If something don't feel right you need to really walk away. Or like the other woman said he's gonna walk away with "my stuff" for Janet that meant her health. damn

iculukin wrote:
The character I can relate to the most is Anika's character.. .being a victim of rape it was all too real for me... how them two minutes seem to carryout for much longer... the part that really got me was at the hospital when the police officer was like did you give off any inclination that you wanted to sleep with him..... I could have screamed right there where I sat... as I sat there remember the officer saying that exact line to me The poem Anika spilled out brought me back to reality and I was then saying SAY IT GIRL!!! Sorry for getting all personal but sad to say its REAL!

I really paid attention to the time also. And I really feel bad for those women having to be asked well did you drink before then and so.... I know it's there job but if a woman is strong enough to report a rape (which hardly ever happens) they should make the process of reporting much easier.

Hubby and I saw the movie last night. Bravo to Tperry. I am not a TPerry fan --or as the Boondocks and I call him Winston Jerome. I appreciate that he did not wrap it up nicely in a bow. I appreciate the rawness. As women we compromise ourselves so often and for what!

I related most to Thandie's and Phylicia's characters. I used to be Thandie's character. The user who thinks she is free but really is getting used and spit out. At this point in my life I am no longer like that. It took a lot of consistent evaluating to stop being like that. I liked Phylicia's character because she transitioned and was able to help others. I am not all the way there yet... but I am striving.

As I asked my hubby, as a soon to be father of a daughter how did the movie impact him. this generated a great conversation to close our evening.

Thinice wrote:
I related most to Thandie's and Phylicia's characters. I used to be Thandie's character. The user who thinks she is free but really is getting used and spit out.

I dont know I really debate about this. For her reason of doing it yes she had to realize why she was doing it and she she is doing it because she is hurt so she should deal with it instead of acting it out sexually. But what about the women who just like sex? Should we continue having the double standard that they are a hoe and not just a sexually "free" person?

I think the double standard should be thrown out with the garbage. I think it hinders folks from addressing their issues because they have to admit they are "fill in the blank" as opposed to "I do this because..." I think the individual has to address why they engage in the activity. I think a small percentage of folks do it because they are "sexually free".
even with the Janet's gay husband, because of the stereotypes/double standards associated with gay/bisexual men, he hid who he really was and sickened himself and his wife.

I think we have to really dissect these standards/stereotypes and ultimately throw them out.

What did you think of Janet's character coldness?
Whoppe's character reminded me of my mother...I could hear my mother saying pray...anoint yourself. It made me laugh and cringe.

I think Janet's character was a women who just didn't have love in her left. I think that being in a loveless marriage and having no friends will cause you to be kind of cold. Also, you could tell that she didn't really love herself. If you don't love yourself there is no way you can love others or even be kind to them.

You are all making me excited to go see this movie. My sister saw it and loved it and will be going back with me. I was hesitant about it because I love the poem/play and it resonated with me twenty one years ago when I first saw it. I thought about it often. Tyler Perry does tend to over dramatize and I was afraid he was going to camp it up, but from everything I've heard, he's done a wonderful job. Can't wait.

Highly recommend grabbing a copy of the poem if it is available somewhere. Also, in the eighties (I believe) a group of men in prison wrote a response called "For Colored Guys"... I can't remember the rest. It is a good read as well.

Found the title:

"For colored guys who have gone beyond suicide and found no rainbow"

BajanPrincess82 wrote:I think Janet's character was a women who just didn't have love in her left. I think that being in a loveless marriage and having no friends will cause you to be kind of cold. Also, you could tell that she didn't really love herself. If you don't love yourself there is no way you can love others or even be kind to them.

I agree. I think also she was a woman who just knew how to fight. She was black woman who had to fight to be on the top at her magazine. She is a black woman who had to fight in this social world. She just didnt know when and who to put her guard down. When she did put her guard down to her husband she got a disease! I feel bad for her. But I love that she looked at the situation and was like I dont feel sorry for myself and I aint gonna take your sorry.