How ignorant is your family?

How many of you have had to deal with a situation like this?

I've been transitioning for about 8 months now, and typically wear my hair in twist outs. Right now my hair is in tighter curls in some spots, kinks and waves in others. My younger sister (age 19) has a natural softer, looser curl than I do, but chooses to wear weaves so she doesn't have to comb it (EVER). Well, after I made a joke about the hair from her weave falling out all over the house, and me walking on the strands and them cutting my feet, she proceeded to tell me that I was just jealous because I don't have "good" hair that grows like hers.

Mind you, when asked...she can't explain what the heck "good" hair is. Why is it that everyone has an opinion? I've also noticed the only people who have something negative to say are black people I encounter. My white friends, co-workers...even people I meet on the street never have anything but compliments.

People get caught up in something so trivial. Yeah, so that was definitely a rant.

nice rant lol

....to answer your question my family can be very ignorant...after my mom stopped getting perms when i was younger she let it fall out and began wearing this fro that she never combed so technically it was all matted then she started locks and now her hair is down her back...whenever i leave my house she has something to say not always negative but annoying and unecessary like "are you going to put something on your hair?...you need some oil or something" mean while ive already done that...or my favorite "your not going to do anything to your hair today?.. its too wild"

i dont get it im rockin a biga** curly fro is it supposed to be tame? and she has lockss! i never tell her she needs some oil

I feel like if my hair (and my daughter's hair) isn't "tamed" with buns or flat twists (on my daughter), we almost always get some negative comment. Before I stood my ground, my mom kept asking when I was going back to getting perms. I finally told her that I didn't feel like my hair was healthy with a perm so I was staying natural. It bothers me sometimes, especially when comments are made about my daughter, but the longer and healthier our hair gets, the less negative comments we receive. And now more people are complimenting our hair in front of my family so that seems to quiet them down a bit. I think when people make negative comments, it's merely a reflection of their own perceived inadequacies. It's really sad...

Im grateful to not have been in this situation with my family. My dad and brother has always loved women with natural hair. My brother would take it to another level, he loves women 'natural' in every sense of the word. No make-up, natural hair, no surgery. My aunt has locs, my cousin is transitioning, my mom short natural hair. When I BC'd all my family said was that they would have to get used to the new look. After about a week, they did.

My sister and mother ask me when I am going to perm my hair. My mother constantly asks, "What are you going to do with your hair when you finish transitioning?". I just keep moving. This board, youtube, and Natural hair rules! are inspiration for me. My sister is a weave-ologist and my mother NEVER liked my hair, even when I was a baby. I'm going through this on pure self motivation, sometimes that's all you need.

As far as family goes....let me start by saying my husband absolutely loves my hair, as do his aunt and mother (their rocking sister locks). My husband has always supported my hair decisions. My brother loves it, my mom has finally accepted my curls (she's the one that relaxed my hair in the fifth grade) BUT...my dad, my stepmom and my sister are the most negative. My sister does hair and she says I'll never get a job and that I look like I don't care. Its said that she sees my natural texture as something bad. I love my hair, its taken me about five years to learn my hair and find the right products and so on. Its so hard to say I'm even related to her, ugh she's so closed minded!

Well, most people in my family are okay with it. Expect my mother LOL..I remember when I first started wearing my natural hair she made it very clear that she didn't like it. Its hurts alot and its not like I can yell at her, but It hurts a little less now since I'm used to it. I still switch between quick weaves and my natural hair, but she is always suggesting hair styles for me (as if I need it) but anyway, the rest of my family is cool with it and is very curious about it. But I prayed about it and my mom has let up about it now. But until I move, I just rotate every once in awhile and straighten it just so she won't say anything.

My mom tries to understand, but she still makes comments about "grade of hair" and doesn't understand why I am willing to wear my hair shrunken without showing the length. My mom is always suggesting "natural relaxers" she finds on line and says things like "well if you use a blow dryer and a flat iron you're still natural, right"? The only thing that she says that offends me though is when she says natural hair is masculine and does not have a soft look. That one does get to me.

People feel threatened by change. Especially if the change is something so totally opposite to what they've known as right. I remember a time when the only girls (of any color) with their natural curls showing were the girls with either hippy parents or poor parents. Don't yell at me ladies, these are old fashioned perceptions I know, but it was that way. Even little girls had their hair straightened at the beauty parlor or their mommas' spent friday and saturday pressing hair.

Hey back then five years old got trainer girdles! I never wore a dress or skirt without a full slip and hose. Gloves and a hat were required if you went to church. Even choir practice meant you wore a dress or skirt. In school, girls could not wear pants except on special occasions like in-school holiday or something. lol. My sister was tomboy and always wore shorts under her skirt.

If you are thinking this was the 1940's or 50's. Wrong! It was the 70's ladies. Even in the 80's and 90's people looked at you with the side eye if your hair was natural and not short. Then you got accused of playing for another team.

Not so far back for some of us. Afros and natural hair were for radicals not nice little girls. lol. My uncle still wore a conk hairstyle, although his hair was 2c/3a wavy curly, he still processed it bone straight and pomaded it back.

Perceptions should have changed but what people grew up with is a powerful thing and not so easy to ignore. OTHER people can do it and its okay, but often people can't get pass what they feel is right even if they hurt the ones they love. Parents have a vested interest, they love you and want the best. But they want THEIR idea of the best for you, not your idea of the best. I think its also fear that this is the beginning of more drastic changes than just hair. Either they will come around or not, but most likely I think they get used to it.