Help!!! My niece's hair is a brillo pad!!!

Hey ladies....

I have a problem in my hands and I'm hoping that you all may be able to help me. My niece's hair is the problem. She needs help and I don't know where to turn other than here.

She is 9 yrs old and her mother is biracial (black/white) while my brother is black. when she was a little kid ( I want to say when she was maybe 6) either my brother, my mother or her mother (no one will take the blame) took a perm to that baby's head. Now her hair is brittle, short, brillo pad mess of hair. No one (including her mother and mine) knows what to do with her hair. Her last perm was 2 years ago and her hair looks the same length as it was before.

She is a little tomboy with kinky "black" hair but wants to have long flowy hair (just like her half sister...).

I told her i was going to do her hair but i don't know where to start. I'm thinking a hot oil treatment, deep condition and cowash. can you do all those in one sitting??? what would be the best regiment for a child's hair that is VERY dry and brittle.

Here is a pic of amaya's hair.

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What a beautiful little girl?

Ask an expert. Go to CurlyFriends in the form and ask NIKI G (braids and beyond). She deals with children's hair.

Wow! Sounds like her hair was severely damaged by that perm. Such a cutie! I agree with seeking a pro for this one.

I am not a professional but looking at her hair it doesn't apear to be severally damaged as chemical damage on the scalp. The hair looks really dry. Maybe start with weekly DC and keeping all heat out of her hair. I would try this for about 3-6 months and see what happens. Hope this helps.

If you are using heat on her hair, stop immediately
Co wash her hair in sections with a thick creamy conditioner, de-tangle with a wide tooth comb in sections, then deep condition with a rich creamy conditioner with added oils and aloe, braid and baggy her hair for a couple of hours, rinse the excess oils out and put her hair in a protective style (braids/twists). You may have to trim her ends and make sure you seal them. You can dress up her hair with little clips or headbands as well.
Ironically, my niece went through the same thing, when her mom sent her to her granny's over the summer, she is bi-racial also.

I agree with everyone, you can see the damage. If I was in your shoes I would just start doing protective after protective style and lots of deep conditions. The damage may have to be trimmed away so special focus should be given to the new growth.

Aww, no! She is beautiful. I'm surprised no one will fess up. It sounds like you gotten some great advice. What a GREAT Auntie you are for helping your niece! Kudos to you. I definitley agree on protective styles. Twist's & Braids! I would stay away from rubberbands as well. If anything get the goody cloth covered ponytail holders. I would do some two strand twists and add a bow. (I love bows, lol) Good luck! & Please update us when you can!

i agree with everyone: stop all heat, DC like her life depends on it and protective styling!

thank you guys for your advice! She is a beautiful little girl with a great personality. we just need to do something with her hair. LOL. everytime I see her it looks like she has been playing in the streets with boys all dang day.

I think i will start with deep treating her hair and cowashing. she doesn't want twists but she will be getting them and have to deal.

Thanks again and I'll keep you guys posted!

In addition to what the other ladies said I just want to add that I hope her hair isn't being talked about like its a problem especially in front of her. I noticed that you said no one wants to take the blame for putting the relaxer in her hair in the first place but obviously someone had to think her hair was "a problem" to put the relaxer in. Just be the great auntie that you are and tell her that she is beautiful regardless of what her hair looks like.

I personally have no clue who took her to the beauty salon and had her hair permed (I think it was her mom, since she doesn't really know how to deal with her texture of hair) while I think my mom made it worse by then putting another relaxer in it (the 2 times were not close in time).

I am trying my best to show them the "other side" of their heritage and that "nappy" kinky hair is not ugly hair. Last night when I took those pics I sat with her and my older neice (she has gorgeous hair!) and went through this sight and youtube and napptrurality.com to show them the different textures and they couldn't fathom why we would want to have our hair like that.

I can't fault them considering who raised them (not our side of the family) so they haven't been around women with natural african american hair (me and my mom were not the best role models with my creamy crack and her braided hair) so we have to undo the mistakes that we have caused in both the 9 year old and the 18 yr old. it will be a process but something that Im willing to take my time to do.

My niecey can't do the things that her friends can do with her hair and I refuse to let her feel inferior. So slowly but surely me and her will get it.

Here is a pic of my nieces and newphews. the 2 in the front are my brothers biological while the other 3 are not but still my family and they all have a little african american in them.

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This is the Oldest: Alysee who has the prettieset hair but for some reason she put a perm in it because it was too much too handles. she knows nothing of detangling with conditioner in the shower. So we are working with her too.

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They are all beautiful. We all had to go through something to get where we are today. Most of us were once where your niece is today. With time and research maybe she too will embrace her natural hair because I'm sure its beautiful without the relaxer. Keep doing what your doing sis!

Wow, beautiful family!!!

"she knows nothing of detangling with conditioner in the shower. So we are working with her too."

This is why it is important to teach our children how to care for their natural hair. Slowly but surely, of course. I let my 4 year old comb my hair, and show her to always start from the ends and to "be easy!!!" lol I will eventually show her how to detangle her own hair and what not. Since she is so young, for now, I will let her do my hair. She loves trying to twist my hair, although she calls the twists braids, lol.

I think it's great that you are showing them pictures of women and children with natural hair. My daughter loves seeing women/children with hair like hers. She says "Mama!! Like ME!" lol

I look forward to hearing more from you & your niece in the future.

awww gorgeous fam! and you are such a great auntie. My little sister (10 years old) also has extremely EXTREMELY dry hair. and while my mom doesn't use the most natural ingredients in products (she doesn't care what the ingredients are as long as it works), she just focuses on making sure my sister's hair is wrapped up at night, she puts whatever moisturizer she has at the moment - moisture max, profectiv, etc - on her hair in sections and brushes it through. The natural moisturizers tend to be too light for my sister's hair so mineral oil it is lol. But my mom does a clarifying shampoo every other week so I don't think that's such a big deal since she's cleaning it. She doesn't do any cowashes or anything in between. It really allows the natural oils from your scalp and hair to surface and trickle down to the ends with brushing.

My little sister is anti-twists too so my mom compromises by doing a few twists at the top or twists into a ponytail. Another way you can compromise is to say if you wear the twists for so many days you can wear the twist out for 1 day. Although I don't know if that will work on your niece because she's a tomboy! My sis will do anything to wear her hair out lol. Here is one style (minnie mouse) I showed my mom from NikG's site beadsbraidsbeyond.blogspot.com! NikG is AMAZINGLY creative and I'm just hoping she'll still be around by the time I have kids lol. I know your niece might not want the headband but it's cute without it too. And at night all you have to do is moisturize it and throw a scarf on it (or sleep on a satin pillowcase) and thats it. The only difference with my little sister's is that my mom had two braids already in the front so I just kept them there and it turned out really cute - very age appropriate!

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oh and my little sister doesn't have a relaxer - never had one and hopefully never will. my aunt presses it every now and then but usually twists and braids stretch out her hair. her hair is def 4b/4c if there was a 4d then she'd be that too lol.

Omg Denise, SOOOOOO CUTE! She is gorgeous. Ask your mom if I can post it. Love it!!!

& Thank you!!

Thanks Denise : I may have to compromise with her on that. I like that minnie mouse hairstyle also. i saw the ones that nikg posted (by the way NIKG20: your hairstyles are great!) and Im actually going to tell her to look at that and see if we can do some type of renditions to it.

d.denise little sis is a cutie and i love that she's never had a relaxer!! yay to your mom!!

Awwww thanks!
I just asked my mom and she said sure! My sis's name is Lindsay.

Afrikanlatina my mom is standing strong! My sis started middle school this year and is surrounded by perms and weaves (yes in the 5th grade!!!) so she has recently begun asking but hopefully my mom can hold her off lol. But I was 12 when she finally let me get mine. That's part of the reason I started working with my hair without relaxers -so my sis who looks up to me more than I knew, would not be able to point to me and say she wants hair like that... Hopefully its working because she has been stealing my hair accessories and watching me do my hair (that's my gray headband! Lol)

p_nuttie, you have such a beautiful family!

D.Denise you tell momma to stay firm in her decision no matter how much lil sis begs and pleads lol Hopefully she'll look at you and decide that she doesn't want to look like all of her friends rockin the creamy crack.

@ dajewel: Thank you! I told my bro and his wife that they made some pretty babies and we needed to get them in some baby gap, gap kids, old navy commercials! LOL

Also make sure to get her a satin bonnet/pillow case...you can even make her a spritz and teach her to spritz her hair in the morn/nite. I'm doin that with my lil sis and cousin ...I'm getting them into healthy hair habits they are around the same age.

If she is anti twist maybe try flat twisting the front and rod setting the back...or if you have the patience twisting the front and doin a straw curl set in the back.

Also try showing them pix of "superstars" with natural hair (models, singers, actors etc) this website has a great collection of natural celebrities in addition if you look under the SuperNaturals post you will find tons more pix of natural hair to drool over. http://maneandchic.blogspot.com/search/label/Natural%20Celebrity%20Hairstyles

One of the products that worked WONDERS for my daughters hair was Hawaiian Silky 14n1. It does have mineral oil and glycerin, but it softened up, and moisturized my daughters hair very well. It's water based so I use it along with an oil based product, primarily shea butter, and it has made a WORLD of difference!!!