Wedding Hair Disaster

This is long filled with (possibly unecessary) details so be prepared.

Please help me. I'm a Bride'smaid and I have 1 and a half months until my cousin's wedding at the end of August. By the time the wedding comes I will be at 9 months since last relaxer!

It is currently summer time and I just took my braids out a month or so ago. My hair is madness. I don't know how to style it. Right now it is in some plaits with a scarf over it. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] The one other time I did a long stretch (intention of going natural) after I took my braids out at 9 months and just relaxed because I didn't know how to deal with my long relaxed ends getting tangled up. Then last summer I was 5 months and my hair turned into dreads after an overnight air dry [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] so in the morning I slopped perm on them dreads and the knots came out (lol believe me it works).

So currently..well after 2 months of no perm I put a weave in for 3 and a half months, then braids for 2. So I really don't know how to handle this almost 8 month worth of new growth

Since I don't have a picture (can't find camera charger) I will describe my hair. My hair texture is verrrrrrrrrrrry tight curls. I would put it in 4B. Then my strands are very thick. Not very coarse textured but coarse enough. In texture and absorption I would describe my hair more like a sponge than cotton. This is what people have said about my hair: When I was younger, most salons would charge my mom extra for my hair because it was "so thick" which I don't even agree with. But recently another stylist when doing my hair said something like "you have good strong hair that is teh type that grows long" LOL [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Then lastly there is me, the cousin who is getting married, and a younger 16 yr old cousin. We all have a Cuban Grandpa but are otherwise Jamaican. 16 yr old and I were talking about how we wish we had Bride-to-be's hair (it's silky, probably a in the "2" family and very thick. basically looks like an Indian's hair) Then 16 yr old said to me "well your hair is in between that" I don't know. My 16 cousin has coarse typical black people hair. I don't know how else to describe it. I think my hair is almost the same but family has said no, so I guess my hair is in between super thick silky hair and super thick coarse hair. What a range! Sorry this paragraph is pretty much unneccessary. I just wanted to give you a feel of my hair.

I am a Bridesmaid in her wedding and we are all having side buns to the right (Thank God I didn't do a Big Chop yall!) basically a very slick fancy bun. How can i do that? My roots can be straightened but I assume it might be hot in august. My hair has a lot of shrinkage so in any amount of humidity it wants to shrink up.

What can I do? What are some options! The next day after the wedding I go back to college and I admit I did want a weave.

So what do you think I should do? Should I TRY to have it straightened and gelled? I have a feeling gel will not help me and my hair will end up looking crusty (when I use gel it just makes my hair look even coilier but soft and I am looking for a straight look) plus I'm not used to gel. It's been many years since I used gel since my hair is permed and doesnt need gel or whatever

Should I get a weave and get them to leave a bit out in the front, edges and the back so I can pull my hair up still? then just have that little bit to straighten? I don't think that would work

I feel liek my only option is to relax it or at least texlax/texturize it (Ugh can you believe my mother got her hair done so asked the lady if she does transitioning hair. The 1st thing the lady apparently asked was what type of hair I have, and when my mom said thick then she responded "why would she wanna go do that" and that I needa go put a texturizer on it. Wow. Ignorant

Please I would appreciate tips, ideas, help, etc!
Also, I got my braids done somewhere new and instead of boxbraids they are individuals (no boxes, so less of you hair in each braid) and they put too much synthetic hair on my edges and so they are kind fof bald right there [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I have some MTG that I never really used so maybe I will use that then tell you how it goes. but I really need a tip for the next month so it grows

Thanks for the suggestion envisionj!

Instead of having your hair straight in the side bun perhaps have it crinkly/wavy by flat twisting it, braiding it or putting it in braids before pulling it into the bun. Here is a picture of what I am envisioning (different views can be seen in my October 2009 album on fotki). This is a style I have worn and love!
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I agree with ChrsLvsBks. If you hair is not long/full enough to do this, you could also have your hair done in small two-strand flat twists to the side (on the diagonal) and to purchase some hair to create the bun. You could put some two-strand twists in that hair to make it blend and flow more with the flat twists or leave it loose.

I think this style has the potential to look nice and elegant and would allow you to not have to worry about your hair reverting due to the heat/humidity of the day.

I know you stated your cousin wants it to be "slick" which indicates loose, straight hair but hopefully she can be understanding.

Buns!: http://tiashauntee.blogspot.com/search/label/Bun
More pics in my FOTKI. I wore buns all winter. The trick is to do them on soaking wet hair. I started all my bun styles in the shower.

Plus take a look at http://keepitsimplesista.blogspot.com/ she did long stretches and her go to styles consisted of a lot of buns.

You can get a slick bun with your texture and you have time to practice.

I got married in August and was in a wedding the year before in July. I didn't have any hair issues because I did trials beforehand.

Good Luck!

I agree with all the ladies, it might be a good idea to do flat twists (in the front or all around) and then the low side bun, or you can do the wet bun like tiashauntee mentioned, I have done my buns pretty much the same way: started in the shower, gel, and scarf and surprisingly it came out really smooth. I know your not a fan of gel, neither am I (I actually hated it and thought it was completely pointless), but ecostyler has truly surprised me, your hair will wave up, but like you said it will be hot, so if you straighten it the style may not last. But definitely do some trials (like tiashauntee said) so you know exactly what will happen on the big day.

i say get some cornrows done in a style and make the stylist cornrow your hair to the side and then put a bun in...i was in a friends wedding and we all had to wear the same style but because i was the only natural i compromised by putting in braids...as soon as i go home (leaving work as we speak) imma post the pics so you can see....i hope your cousin will allow you to be flexible concerning your hair

dido to all the suggestions given...you can definitely get a bun. If my hair won't do anything else, it can be brushed down and tied to create a smooth effect. Please don't relax it. I'm sure you love your cousin and all but it's her wedding not your's. Don't go altering yourself for someone else. Good luck! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Thanks sooomuch for the suggestions. The main problem is that with 9 months new growth I do not think my hair would lie flat whatsoever once the humidity hits.

And the flat twists sounds like a great idea, except, my cousin went so far as to have a stylist available the day of for all 8 of us so she can do all of our hair. I'm the only one who is getting my hair done elsewhere because I don't want to show up and have the woman not know what to do with my transitioning hair. And my cousin is having us all look the same so if I have cornrows or flat twists with the bun it would stand out too much. i know it may not seem like a big deal but honestly if I was the bride and all my bridesmaids were to have the hair one way I might get annoyed as well if one wanted to have flat twists. I dont know. That's a good idea.

maybe I should begin practicing my hair like trying to slick it back with that ecostyler gel (thanks ms fenty) to see how it works before the wedding. But yes basically the twisting is out completely as of now. I also like that wet bun look...or maybe even just that slicked gelled wavy look. Not sure

justicenga I appreciate that word of encouragement

rjacks yes i already have the extra hair I am using for the bun (or weave [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] )

myeka I am looking forward to the pics. if the slick back does not work when I do the trials then I will ask her if I can do this look of braids or twists.

and thanks tiashawn and ChrsvsBl for the pics and albums. great options

if all else fails I will do a weave

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] i wnat to post multiple pics but this ting is acting up so please me patient with me as i post a pica at a time....im the one with the braids lol

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] this pic is strictly to show you the braids so dont mind everything else thats going on....oh by the way if anyone needs professional pics to be taken my friend took these (not for this wedding tho...he took these for himself) but trust me these dont even do him justice...he has improved quite nicely...in fact he took my avatar pic that was taken at another friends wedding...anyhoo i hope these helped and if you need more views let me know and ill post more

myeka Wait so what is it the other girls have? twists?

it looks so gorgeous..But it blends nicely because the other women have the twists or whatever. I would be such an oddball while everyone has slicked hair..lol I dont want to take the shine from the bride, you know? Just wanted to say I love that green! And thanks soo much for the pics.


And everyone else. Now that I think about it I dont know if the gelled back will work (I will still try!)2 weeks ago my cousins and I were at a funeral (our grandfather). Before it she tried to gel my hair back but it wouldnt work. I had just came from the salon and had a nice blow out straightening and my hair was flowing like water even at the root, but the humidity messed it all u so my roots and edges all napped up..lol What a waste of 30 dollars right? So cousin tried to gel my front back for me (since I know nothing of gel) and she ended up having to gel the front but still PIN the front up since it would not lay flat and have a pretty headband on. The back was out though. And this bride-to-be cousin is the queen of gel so you can imagine that even after that my hair still couldnt lay flat..lol Well she has that "2" wavy Indian hair so I guess that's why she was convinced it would work..lol


And I apologize to eevryone if any of my first post was incoherent and filled with run-on sentences..lol

yeah the two bridemaids have the same style...some type flat twists style that the bride wanted and the maid of honor has a flat twist style thats different from the other two and i got braids even tho i didnt tell the bride or groom what i was doing to my hair lol....if it was up to me i would've rocked a fro type style but i knew that wasnt gonna fly with them and i knew i wasnt doing what everyone else was gonna do...please dont perm it...talk to your cousin and see if you can come up with something cuz it wouldnt make sense to perm your hair for a one time event

I'm confused. So you have tried to slick your hair back and it didn't stay or you are thinking it will not stay but have not tried it?

I never had a problem with my hair staying slick in humidity when pulled back - I'm just trying to understand. I don't want to offer advice that is pointless if you have already tried it.

I think you got some good suggestions here. Talk to the bride and make sure you know your options before making a final decision.

oooo and thanks for the compliments and you are soooo welcome!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] p.s. i hate getting braids and only got them cuz i love my friends too much to show up with a fro lol

Myeka you are so right..What do I look like getting a perm as a wedding present to my cousin

I just think slick hair look so pretty. And sadly there is a possility that my hair won't do that. But I will try it at least 3 times before I give up. haha

I will talk to her. I just don't think she understands since she has wavy loose hair, and so does her daughter, and her mom (my aunt).


Yeah that would have caused problems if you wore a fro girl! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
thanks again

Gotcha, see if this helps: http://tiashauntee.blogspot.com/2010/03/get-it-sleek.html

tiashauntee thanks a bunch for that link. I will try it that way. My hair was dry when my cousin and I went at it will the gel, so maybe this way will work with it wet or damp instead of dry. I will get some shea butter or work with the IC Aloe gel I have.

My major concern I found when doing it for the funeral was that there was a problem with the two textures (thick natural hair vs not so thick relaxed hair) getting tangled but hopefully it works. I would love to go to a salon to get them to make it lay flat and gelled, but my recent salon visit, the lady was very rough and was pulling from the root on my wet transitioning hair instead of taking out the tangles starting at the ends...then was complaining after she was done abotu how difficult it was. Therefore I don't trust beauticians

thanks soo much everyone I will keep you guys updated and if anyone else has more miracle suggestions I'm here.

I have 4b hair and I live in Houston, TX one of the most humid places in America. My hair is not yet long enough to bun, but I have had no problems smoothing the front of my hair out to make a puff. Gel and a brush works fine even for my EXTREMELY thick hair. So you really should be fine.

I agree with JnB. You should be fine using gel, a brush on your wet hair to slick it back. Try it a few times and see how successful it is...that way you can perfect it before the wedding. I certainly would NOT relax my hair just to appease the bride; I mean, isn't it more important to you to grow out your hair than to just conform to someone else's standards (and do more damage to your hair) for that one day?

JnB
Yeah your hair looks about teh thickness of my hair. It's more of the fact that my natural roots like to curl and clumb together while the permed hair gets tangled up in it. That's my problem. I have a feeling transitioning hair is the hardest to manage among permed hair or even natural hair. And I''m being careful not to break the demarcation line? Thanks for the tips.


Bajan Princess
I would not be relaxing to please the Bride. it's just my hair has been looking crazy and I want to look pretty and presentable. The two textures are just not working for me. ANd I'm starting to wonder is it really so bad for me to get a perm if my hair doesn't break off or anything when I have it? I feel like I'm going into the unknown with my natural hair. I know it's going to be a completely different situation for me once the perm is gone. My permed hair is already pretty dern thick, and my natural hair is about two or 3 times that


Does anyone think a weave with my edges and back out may work? If not why?

Honestly, the quick weave with hair left out won't be any better. You will still have to slick down your REAL hair since in order to make a bun, the sides and back have to be slick. And when you get a weave, those are the areas you leave out. Plus since weave is even sleeker and shinier that even your straightened relaxed hair, it will be even harder to blend in the natural part of your hair.

If the 2 textures are getting to be too much, you may need to consider either doing a BC or getting a long term transitioning style such as kinky twists, micros, etc.

But like I said before, I think you should be fine with doing the bun with your own hair. How about you try it first and then let us know? As of now, it is all speculation. If the bun does not work, then we can go from there.

if the back of your hair was out at the funeral, that's not the same as this. with this, humidity might try to make your natural hair curl, but the back would be in, and the tension from the pony tail holder pulling it in would help.

i would def do it myself on wedding day, and follow the routine i had practiced.

transitioning is very very very hard. but eventually you will be done!