how has your hubby, boyfriend or significant other supported you?

Hello All-

Since we are all going through the transitioning process. I think it will be interesting to see how your hubby/boyfriend/companion/or significant other has supported you throughout this process!

My BF has been great! He tells everday how proud he is of me and that any woman that can rock her natural and still be beautiful is the bomb (haha). Without him I would have probably broken down by now and put a perm in my hair. He is awesome and I thank him everyday for walking beside me with this! Below is a picture of us and this was my last perm...

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Aw, you guys look cute!

My boyfriend was very supportive during my transition. He would always compliment me on my hair, and took an interest in what I was doing to it. I haven't seen him since I did the BC (we're in a long distance relationship). He knows I did it, and he's seen pictures of me. I was a little nervous about what his reaction would be, and we talked a lot about it. He thought my concerns about whether or not he'd still find me attractive were ridiculous and told me he wasn't with me because of my hair. That made me feel A LOT better and gave me a bit of a confidence boost.

I see him next week so we'll see what he thinks of it in person.

This is us back in June in LA. I was about 6 months into my transition and had my hair blown out at a Dominican salon.
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Thanks! I'll definitely let you know how it goes.

Well my hubby has had to have a mind transitioning with me. He was totally against the idea when I first told him I was thinking about transitioning. I think it had alot to do with seeing others with locs and hairstyles he called a "hot mess." And I've always had long hair that I did so many things with and he really liked that. So I had to promise him I wasn't going to loc it or leave it looking crazy whatever that meant.

I've transitioned over a year and have been fully natural since July and he's still not in love with it but he's slowly accepting that I'm on this bandwagon and not hopping off any time soon. He wouldn't be sad if I decided to go back to the creamy crack tomorrow but he knows I want to do this and supports me.

Yesterday though I was totally thrilled because someone at work told me in not so many words that my hair was not professional and that I shouldn't go in to talk to the boss about some matters and I told DH and he went off and was highly upset. So he's coming around [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

When I was first decided to transition my boyfriend thought i was going through a phase, that I would get over. When I really started getting into my transition doing bantu knots and such my boyfriend and I were apart (we have a long distance relationship) but I talked often about Black Hair and the consequences of Black women relaxing their hair & he listened and took interest in what I was saying & how passionately I felt about the topic.

Throughout my natural journey he has supported me. When I started getting closer to the BC moment I started to fear that he wouldnt find me attractive as he once did but he insisted that he would. To show me that he fully supports my decision on my Birthday (the day I cut my hair) he sent me a book called Thank God Im Natural by Chris-Tia Donaldson.

When he came to see about 2 wks he ago, he loved my TWA!! He thought it suit me very well. When he told me that all my fears melted away and it gave me a boost of confidence, my hair doesnt make me beautiful...I do. Im very happy & grateful that my man stands by side & accepts me
& my hair for what it is & not what everyone wants or expects it to be.

i responded to this thread recently but deleted it when i realized it was about your your s.o. supports you [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] my hubby isn't feeling me transitioning at all [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] joy's 1st paragraph pretty much sums it up. he has also said only some women can rock natural hair & look hot. i guess since he has only ever seen my hair one way he can't imagine it another. he thinks i'm crazy for wanting to change anything (also thought it was a phase) and has also mentioned several times that alot of women would love to have my hair. it hurt my feelings at first, but now it really doesn't bother me. he might not agree w/my decision (right now) but it's not like he's going to stop loving me bc i don't have a relaxer. lucky for me there's so much info out there now to help me through the process. love this site!


edited to add that i think he's come around [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] funny thing is i haven't even been doing my hair lately. i recently started bootcamp so i really just shampoo & it ends up in a curly ponytail. several times he's told me it looks nice. i'm still experimenting w/products though. last wk i tried kccc but it left white residue after a couple of days (& i used the knot today underneath as instructed). at any rate, i'm excited my 1 yr anniversary is coming up!

joy8269 wrote:Well my hubby has had to have a mind transitioning with me. He was totally against the idea when I first told him I was thinking about transitioning. I think it had alot to do with seeing others with locs and hairstyles he called a "hot mess." And I've always had long hair that I did so many things with and he really liked that. So I had to promise him I wasn't going to loc it or leave it looking crazy whatever that meant.

I've transitioned over a year and have been fully natural since July and he's still not in love with it but he's slowly accepting that I'm on this bandwagon and not hopping off any time soon. He wouldn't be sad if I decided to go back to the creamy crack tomorrow but he knows I want to do this and supports me.

Yesterday though I was totally thrilled because someone at work told me in not so many words that my hair was not professional and that I shouldn't go in to talk to the boss about some matters and I told DH and he went off and was highly upset. So he's coming around [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

WOW someone hinted that your natural that comes out your scalp is unprofessional...what year is this again?

The support has been really great, so happy he doesn't mind me going natural at all...
THe reason he don't because his mom,grandma, and lil sis are all natural so he grew up seein that so he loves it..and am so happy about that..glad to have support in that area

Sorry Ladies! I have been out out of town all weekend....

@mrsrenaissance: im sorry your husband isnt really supporting you through your process... but im glad that your staying strong! Keep your eye on the prize!!! haha

@joy8269: im with blackbeauty... I cant believe somebody told you that!!! OMG. I would have went off too... what does your hair to do with them?? Whoever said that to you is a weak person because your hair symbolizes a strong, confident black woman and they were intimidated because they dont know how to handle it (shame on them)....

Ya'll, the bad thing about it was it was another black woman. I'm in the military and bottom line, it's a white man's world. We've made lots of strides as people of color in the military but we're still not where we should be. In fact, I've gotten so much flack over the past few days, I'm getting some flat twists put in this week so they won't have anything else to say for awhile. Though I'm within regulation, a commander has the right to deem if they think the hairstyle is unprofessional or not. And right now because of my rank and position, there are a few people who think I'm on the line I guess of not looking the part.

I transitioned for over a year and just completed the process in July so I refuse to just throw all of my hard work in the trash but I hate being the topic of conversation all the time. This makes me feel like my accomplishment of going natural was in vain! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

? Really??? I was an E3 during basic and I never had a problem. Afterwards as an E4 and bank in CA I didn't really have a problem. Maybe I just didn't care or because I kept to myself but I didn't notice any hater-ade about my hair. Mostly I kept a wet/wavy style bun on base and a curly ponytail off. I was not about to get my hair pressed all the time just to sweat it out so I could make anyone else happy, even if they were higher up than me.

my sister transitioned yrs ago (6 or 7?) for a while she wore her hair in twists. a couple of yrs ago she got a new job & started getting her hair pressed (felt like she needed too, she works in the financial services industry). after a while she started to wear her hair twisted again sometimes & people would always make comments ("oh, what do you have going on there?", or "what did you do to your hair") or, once she pressed it again ppl would say, "i like your hair MUCH better this way". of course she's beyond annoyed. i personally feel like the way a person wears their hair is a reflection of their style & their preference. you wouldn't tell someone at work you don't like their shoes & suggest they wear a diff style?? and hair is something you're born with! are green eyes more appropriate than brown?

One thing I'm learning is that sometimes, people's comments about you say more about THEM than they actually say about you. When I keep that it mind and don't take things personally, I'm able to just keep it moving.

Now, I'm not currently working and my career field is a creative one so just about anything goes. I'm not sure how I'd deal with comments about my hair not being "professional". Maybe a one on one discussion about a mutually agreeable compromise would help. I dunno how things work with the military though.

These stories are awesome! Too bad mine didn’t go as well...
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I must admit that I get very impulsive at times, and I didn't even really go
through any kind of transition.
I'll start at the beginning...


Since we met in our sophomore year of high school, I've had
long relaxed hair. We started dating in our senior year of high school, and
even went out of state to college together. I'm not exactly sure when the idea
of going natural started brewing inside me, but for the LONGEST time, I had wanted
to just chop all of my hair COMPLETELY OFF and start over. So while in college,
I started slowly cutting my hair, just enough so nobody would notice from day
to day, and I had completely stopped relaxing… but as soon as I got home for
summer vacation, I was determined to get to a stylist who could cut away all of
my relaxed hair (I was too chicken to do it myself), and reveal all the kinks
and napps I’d been hiding from for most of my life. I was so excited once I got
in her chair…. But she definitely was not!!! To make a long story short… she
talked me into getting a short, relaxed cut. I called my then boyfriend to tell
him I’d chopped it all off, he was LIVID! I thought it was hilarious because he’d
said things that didn’t matter to him… then the truth comes out!!! Once we finally
saw eachother again, and neither of us knowing exactly what to expect, we were
both pleasantly surprised! He loved it! It was almost bittersweet for me because
I hadn’t gone through with my original plan, but if he liked it, it was worth
it… right?


WRONG!!! About the time I should have been going to see the
stylist again for a touchup, the guilt and disappointment had really set in,
and it didn’t help that mom had just gotten me this pretty new lace wig… and
that I’d just watched that Tyra show episode about black women, and seeing how
some of us absolutely loathe and despise our natural hair, and even pass that
on to the kids! Oh yeah… it was all comin off!!! I sat for hours painfully trying
to loosen that stupid wig adhesive from my forehead without any of that glue
remover stuff… and once it was finally off, I looked long and hard in the
mirror trying to decide if I was really going to chop it all off. I grabbed the
scissors (not even hair scissors… I had the big ones with the orange handle)
and cut an enormous plug out of the front of my head… that way, I was forced to
finish! After that, I felt so LIBERATED, and confident, and…. Amazing. I smiled
the whole rest of the time that I shaved my head to almost complete baldness! I
love love loved it! Until I saw my bf again… he looked like he wanted to cry
when he saw me… and I know my story is a bit long winded, so I’ll give it to
yall in a nutshell… We broke up soon thereafter.

so i guess, to truly answer the forum question... he didnt!! but im so glad there are sites like these where i can find support!

My boyfriend is much older than I am...seventeen years older so he's a bit old fashioned in some ways. He doesn't care for some of the natural styles of today...locs, twists, etc but basically feels that if you wear it, wear it well by taking care of your hair.

I grabbed the
scissors (not even hair scissors… I had the big ones with the orange handle)
and cut an enormous plug out of the front of my head… that way, I was forced to
finish!

@britneyjnay: I thought that part was so funny! because I have those same scissors at home that I keep looking to cut my off! HAHA but as for the rest of your story... Sometimes things happen for a reason. So you cutting your hair just made it so God could send you a blessing (a man) who loves and supports you no matter what type of hair style your wearing! Stay beautiful hun and rock da hell outta that TWA proudly!!!!!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

@naturallydestined: I have some older men in my family who despise natural hair! Esp my dad!! He is really stuck in his ways and what society tells him what pretty is. He hates it when I get braids or wear my hair in a hair scarf (as a protective style). But oh well... the compliments I get from other people out weigh the negative!!

@naturallydestined: I have some older men in my family who despise natural hair! Esp my dad!! He is really stuck in his ways and what society tells him what pretty is. He hates it when I get braids or wear my hair in a hair scarf (as a protective style). But oh well... the compliments I get from other people out weigh the negative!!

Amen! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Uhh...well...my boyfriend half-way supports me. I say half way because he like the fact that my hair will be healthier and stronger (although he doesn't quite understand what that means). What he does not support is the idea of the big chop. He can't seem to wrap his head around why I would want to cut my hair and the purpose behind it. He's attached to long hair, although my hair only grazes the top pf my shoulders. And in his mind, natural hair means nappy, "un-done", not straight, and (for whatever reason) bald/short [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

It takes a lot of explaining and showing him pictures of natural beauties for him to semi get it, but he's young (we're young), so I cant expect a miracle over night [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] . But I do love that he likes playing in the new growth, like he's coming around or something.

Suprisingly I have had a lot of support from my bf.....I say surprisingly because he would always tell me that he like girls with loooonng hair and I was definitely differerent for him because not only did I have short hiar but I am also tall. He normally dates women who are like 5'2 or shorter. I am 5'10. Mind you he is 6'2. Anyway, I digress. He has been really supportive and is very surprised that I have stuck with this journey so far. I can be very flakey at times when it comes to these types of things, so he didn't think it would last. In the past I would get bored with my hair easily and change it every 20 mins. It is going on 4 months now and I am still going strong. My bf was sure I would go back to a relaxer after a few weeks. He was sooo wrong. He now says he can;t wait for my hair to get thicker, longer and curlier. Love him [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Thanks much lovelynika! The compliments i get completely bury the negative things people say!!! It's so unexpected to me because I'm in Arizona, and people tend to think that if a girl has short hair, she must be a lesbian! It's ridiculous! But so far, it seems the guys are LOVIN IT!!!

Maaaaaannnnnnn my guy always says "It's just hair" but then follows it with a, "Just don't cut it all off......as long as you're not bald." LOL I've always had long hair and never a short do sooooo ummmmm yeah, dude better prep himself! LOL!!!

My boyfriend said he was gonna help me BC

My fiancee is 95% of the reason I have been able to transistion for 9 months. He is the one who encouraged me to stop relaxing. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I'm very blessed to have the closest person to me in my corner even if the only reason he wants me to be natural is to avoid rain scares and my vacation weave. lol He is completely against the idea of a BC and loves long hair, so I may humor him and go 18 months. Somehow I dont think I will be able to make it that long though.

In the begining of me transition...my husband was all for it...saying with my texture...I never needed to perm my hair anyway...but once we went into further detail and showing him different styles that I like...he started to think I was going to also transition into a afrocentric black panther type chic...and I had to reassure him that I would be the same ole' me...lol...I found with my hubby the best thing to do is keep him in the loop of my intentions with my hair...so far he has loved every style during my transition...it will be one year in january :-)...His only fear is my BC...so far my transitioning has gone well and feel my hair is healthier than ever so I will ride the transition train for as long as possible...Wish me luck :-)