I wanna chop it again

I feel so unhappy with my hair right now. I even think I stunted my growth. I've been natural going on 13 months and I'm not up to the length where I want to be because of the constant chopping because of end issues. I love to see my hair wet, but when its dry I just hate the feeling. I hate running my hands from root to tip because it just pisses me off. The root feels okay, but the tip feels so crappy. I've wrote about this before, but a lot of people keep telling me to moisturize. I moisturize constantly and still its rough and bushy. No matter how much I cut it, the ends still feel the same. I'm totally hating my hair right now.

Well...I am fairly new to this but I do have a few suggestions. I do agree in order for your hair to feel soft and managable, regardless of the texture, you must find that oil or butter that really works for your hair or a combination of both. Also you might look at the products you are using. If you find you have many random items, that are hard to choose from, you may try to simplify your regimen to pintpoint, what your hair likes or doesn't like. My question would be what is your typical regimen? From that we may be a ble to figure out key items that may be adding to dryness and enabling you to get your hair where you desire it to be. I would encourage you to be patient, and embrace the hair God has given you and be confident even on those challenging hair days. Some days my hair just takes on a mind of its own, and I go with the flow as best I can. Thriteen months is a long time to have grown out your hair to begin again, unless you feel that BCing again is your only option. If possible you might start with a healthy trim by your beautician, establish a regimen in simplicity so you can see what works, what doesn't, be sure to wet,condition, moisturize, and seal. Also if you have been getting trims and your ends feel the same it could very well be the texture of your hair and the curl pattern. Remember love and be confident within yourself..looking forward to seeing your regimen.... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Yes, I agree I think we need to find out more about the scope of your entire regimen, not just the products you're using to moisturize. Are you using a water based product, as well as something to seal? Are you using products with mineral oil or cones? How often do you shampoo? All of these things can effect the moisture and how your hair feels. Please give us more details. We would love to help.

well I'm be honest with you. I dont have an exact steady reg. What I usually do is co wash every 3 days and on the weekends I deep conditioned. I moisturize with water glycerine and aloe vera, then i seal with oil and a shea mix.

I'm sorry that you are unhappy with your hair. Sounds like your hair is not getting enough moisture. I tried to use the shea and oil mixtures, but it was not enough for my hair. I needed something a little heavier. Darcy's Botanicals Madagascar Vanilla styling cream was the answer for me--and less cowashing. My hair is feeling and looking much better. I'd suggest a different moisturizer. The oils and butters don't seem to be working for you. Hope this helps. Please don't chop your hair off!

Thanks Latoya, you may be right. When I used curl activator my hair was not having this issues. I even thought of co washing a lot less too at one point. I think I might just do it on the weekends.

How do u usually wear your hair? Do u just do wash and gos? Twists? Braids?

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated. We've all been there one time or another. I read in your post that you use glycerin and aloe vera. I also see you live in NYC. I've never know NY to be a relatively humid state. Is it humid where you live? If not, the glycerin is not drawing moisture in from the air like it would in a humid climate. In fact, if there is no moisture in the air, the glycerin will just sit on your hair and dry it out even more. Try taking the glycerin out of your regimen if you don't deal with humidity..

I agree with other posters to try a heavier, water based moisturizer or creme with a thick consistency. I'm currently using Bee Mine Hair Butter with my shea butter mix. I put it under my shea butter, and I've seen great results, moisture-wise.

Lastly, do you mix anything with your conditioner, such as honey or EVOO?

Why are you washing it so much? I would suggest to wash it less and use a heavier moisturizer in between. Don't chopt it off just yet!

BajanPrincess, what kind of moisturizer do you think is good for scalp, in between washes?

I'm not sure, but it sounds like chocolate kinks needs something more than what she's using. I find that a mixture of shea butter, coconut oil, and olive oil works for me. I also like Curls souffle, but don't have much of it left (got it on a product swap) so I have to find a good replacement.

thanks!

@ juices and berries is plenty of twist, @ curlsG it depends. Sometimes its humid orther times it not. Nyc has crazy weather so it totally depends (omg I love glycerin so this is going to be difficult). @ Bajanprincess I didnt know it was a lot. Many of the naturals I know do that so I was just following that. I'm just realizing it may be too much for me. Also what do you recommend as a heavy moisturizer?

Hey getting off of topic here, but do you notice that we can no longer respond to the direct person anymore?

Nikki is working on getting the "multi-quote/quote" function fix. It was messing up last week.

For me, protective styling helps my hair hold moisture also. My hair will stay moisturized for days when it is twisted up but as so I do the twist out, my hair starts to dry out fast. I have to re-moisturize on Day 2 or 3 with out styles.

Everyone has given great info....You need to make a simple regimen, stick with it (that's the hard part) for a month or so and then make changes if needed.

I only wash my hair once a week...seal my ends with oil 2-3 times a week....moisturize when needed.

Maybe you should try a mixture of shea butter and coconut oil. Coconut oil is very moisturizing.

Oh okay Thanks Lynn and Bajanprincess I do that all the time and its still rough. I used some castor oil in my hair and my hair seems to like it. My only issue is that I LOVE the smell of coconut oil OMG.

Hmmm, perhaps you have product buildup which isn't allowing moisture to penetrate your hair? I'm not sure if you use products with cones or not, but do you ever shampoo or are you co-wash only?

I shampoo, but I usually use black soap in my hair.

I hope you don't cut your hair again. You're on the right path and after 13 mos you don't want to restart. Hang in there. You've gotten some really great advice. I hope you find the right products and routine to keep your hair well moisturized and help it grow to your desired length.

Please check out the hair challenge thread. We are doing a 30 day product challenge where you sstick with set products so you can learn your hair likes/dislikes and what products to keep and not to use anymore.

Good luck!

Thats so much DVA. Where is the link to that?

Hi chocolate-kinks. I live in NYC too and all through the winter I was able to use my mix of water, glycerin, and aloe vera without any problems. If you love that mix and you think your hair likes it you may want to stick with it. Also if you noticed your hair responded well to castor oil maybe seal with that on a regular basis and see if it makes a difference. I LOVE the smell of coconut oil too but my hair absolutely hates it, dries it out, so I can only use it on my body. I agree with the other ladies who suggested creating a simple regimen and sticking with it for a while. If it isn't working just change one thing at a time so you'll know which things are truly working and which aren't.

Thanks Ray

Here is the link for the product challenge....hope you'll join us. I've learned a few things about my hair in the past 3 weeks.

http://www.curlynikki.forumotion.com/natural-hair-challenges-f20/30-day-product-line-challenge-what-s-in-your-hair-t3370.htm

Thanks Misses. I'm going to try this, but I need a better moisturizer. I want to try something other than my shea mixes. Something homemade hopefully, or cheap. Right now I cant really afford expensive stuff.