Friends and Family

I was cleaning this morning and was thinking about posting this ordeal of mine and I was reading a post by intelligentbeauty, I hope its ok that I am using her, anyway when I tried to transition in July and permed in September it was all because of my mom and hubby. I did feel insecure about mysefl like everyone was staring and I couldnt maintain a style because I didnt do much research and of course learning by error. My mom would tell me she missed me looking like a barbie so thats what did it she talked me into missing my look that we both were so accustomed to. After I permed she did say she was jealous by the lenght and fullness I gained in those few months. But the entire time I was transitioning she would give me a look but would say that she didnt like my hair, so now that I am doing the same she is telling me what she thinks I want to hear

Now hubby would call me nappy dugout and it would literally piss me off, it may sound funny to others but it wasnt for me, and for this to come out of his mouth didnt make it any better. My strongest support was my 10 and 7 year old daughter, they were honest if a style didnt look good, but they told me I was pretty and they like my hair. I have to fast forward for a second, my 7year old says now she wants me to do her hair the way I treat mine, so you know I have to do it

Back to hubby, when i permed my hair he said he likes it better this way and he doesnt know why I would want it like that in the first place. He told me yesterday on the way to church that he didnt like my hair, but u know I am so much stronger now I didnt get upset. I just get upset because he is so commercialized thinking My hair has to be bone straight to make me pretty. He is a lil better but he told me last night after I showed him a few pictures that he didnt want me to big chop, also now that I know how to maintain a style and hair doesnt look as dry anymore he doesnt make his smart remarks, am like any other woman that wants her spouse to embrace her decision just like she would It may take hubby and mom a lil more time to come around but, when they start to see the change is what will somewhat satisfy them.
So all in all I am trying to satisfy them by not doing the bc and satisfying myself by not giving up

Best wishes to you in this journey. For me, it was a little different. My family kept telling me they thought, I looked better with natural hair. For me, personally, it was hard getting used to my natural. Now, I know, I couldn't live without it!

I have no one else to confide in so can I get anyone's opinion?



Would you still consider someone a friend if they are constantly making sly remarks about your hair? i.e....A "friend" supposedly jokingly said if I get electrocuted I won't need to perm my hair! mmm..am I being too sensitive?

I don't think you're being too sensitive, as with anything you want and need support from your family and friends. Of course they will not agree or like everything you do and in that case they should be willing to give some constructive criticism not words that are hurtful or offensive.

I would say it depends on how close you are to this person. If this is someone you're very close with, you should be able to express your feelings towards their actions, and in return they should respect that and stop the sly remarks.

On the other hand I've personally experienced some similar issues with someone I don't consider a true friend and in that situation I decided to distance myself from that person cause their "friendship" is not that important to me.

@w8tng2bnatural Girl you just keeping pushing forward with your decision! And the best thing you could've ever done was find this site! Here you will find motivation, encouragement, and most importantly KNOWLEDGE!!!! This will indeed, help you know that you are making the right decisions for your hair, regardless of the negativitiy that you are getting from some of your family!

Stay active on this site, and learn all you can! And if you're not sure about something, hop on these forums and ask questions! The ladies here are very encouraging and have can give you loads of information to educate you along the way during your journey! I guarantee you, the more healthier your hair becomes, the more your family will see that your decision was a winner!

Good Luck Girl!

When I first told my mom I was going natural, she said, "Your hair is gonna be NAPPY." Everytime I go to my mom's house now, she is always telling me how cute it is. My hubby has always been supportive. I showed him a few pics and videos of how my hair would possible look and he was ok with it. My father in law doesnt like but WHO CARES! My grandmother has not seen it yet. That's the reaction I am really looking forward to. My grandmother is 90 years old and she does not hold her tongue. LOL!

Overall, I have gotten all positive responses about my hair. Continue to work on your hubby. He'll come around.

Definitely stay active on the site. Attend or arrange a meet up in your area. What you are experiencing happens to a lot of us. I still get it and I never had a relaxer. It sucks when friends treat you that way but they don't realize how much support we actually need. I guess going natural makes them think that we are stronger than superman.

Thanks so much ladies for the positive feedback, hubby came home after i sent that message complaining about me doing my hair. But I almost considered hmm should I just perm my hair, I have invested a lot into transitioning so I really dont think I will perm again, I love the support here, and the ladies here that continued on, I am like if u guys can do it, i can too, thanks so much all of you