why do they think i lost my mind

I am 19 years old and last month I chopped my hair off almost into a fade(very low) and it has grown back some (about half an inch) since i chopped it. Today I went into the hair salon that i went to when I was relaxed and the first thing she said was "WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO YOUR HAIR?" and me being the nice person that I am i blew it off and answered simply "Because I wanted to go natural" The stylist goes on to say "So you done graduated high school and just dont know what to do with yourself." I couldnt believe my ears. HOW IN THE WORLD DID SHE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION BECAUSE I WANTED TO CUT MY HAIR? I was so mad. I sat there quietly as she continued to shape up and even out the back like i asked her to. She asked me what my sister was going to say and blah blah and that got me thinking. My sister is coming down on the 15th of this month with her two girls and baby boy and she has no idea about my BC or me wanting to go natural and I know she is gonna have a mouthful to say. How am I going to deal with all of the comments from her and her children that think long hair and skinny is the only form of beauty which are neither of my qualities. I know Im probably rambling or making no sense but if someone can give me some imput I would appreciate it. THANKS IN ADVANCE YALL!

Wow girl!!!! When I decided to go natural and do the BC I went to a hair salon I knew nothing about to get them to do it. Technically, you really don't have to explain it to no one. If you are happy and satisfied then it is all that matters. I have a cousin who always tell me to do someting to my head but when I see her I think you may need to do something to your head. Her hair is a short cut and have been in between breaking off at the edges or wearing raggedy weaves my other cousin put in her hair. I guess your sister may be the test you need to know if you can handle the comments you may get from other people. But it is all about how you feel within yourself. Its about your inner peace and happiness regardless of what others think. Maybe if your sister is a little bit open minded you can show her the website or show her pictures of other beautiful natural women. It may not changed her opinion but it may help to expand her mind.

Hey StacyB, Thanks so much for your insight and you are right my sister coming down will be a test because I am naturally a sensitive person and I let things get to me easily. I do love my hair and the way I look and I am happy with my decision because my hair wasnt long before i cut it and it was so broken off. I hope more good than bad comes from this visit. And also thats a good idea I may try and show her the sight if shes up. N e who thanks again!

You are beautiful!!!!! I mean have you looked in the mirror? That is you in the avatar? I don't know what her idea of beauty is if you don'tfit it, it probably doesn't exist.

Ayash/crvng4mr THANK YOU! Yeah thats me. Your so sweet. Its amazing how people that are not even family can make you smile faster than family can. You made my night!

Um yeah #1 you are beautiful...there's no doubt about that! You could be bald and you'd still look good!

#2 -correct your hairdresser and tell her that you graduated and now you know exactly what to do with yourself!

#3- It's much easier said than done but try not to worry so much about what your sister may think or say. I know she's blood so she's going to give her honest opinion but if you are happy with your new hair journey then let that shine! Don't let her or anybody else steal your joy! Be confident and rock your new do and nobody can touch you!

I think this is a really good time for you to let others know that you are now an adult and deserve to be treated with the same respect you give them whether they are your elders or not. Let your sister and/or family know that, "I love you, this is why I did it, and how I feel about it." But you will not stand here and make negative remarks about it... That is rude & disrespectful to ME.

Sometimes you have to put things into perspective for people. If they are disrespecting you & hurting your feelings, let them know that & also that you mean business by removing yourself from their company (if possible).

And I MUST AGREE - when I saw your pic I was like she does not even need any hair! You are so beautiful! - but you have to let your family & others know that you are an adult & deserve to be treated with the same respect you give them....The same thing happened with me. But once I started standing up for myself, no one dared say anything negative (to my face atleast..lol). Not b/c I commented on their insecurities, but b/c I put them on the spot for being selfish & mean by trying to tear me down with negative comments. *Go Girl-you r so pretty!

You guys are so wonderful and uplifting and inspiring. Today I am going to try and talk myself up to have the confidence to speak up for myself and not to care so much about what people think. I thank you all so much for your comments and compliments. I really do appreciate it and thats just what i need.

I know how you feel girl, at first my family just didn't believe and they had all kind of comments. My husband was in Afghanistan when I transitioned. He has seen alot of changes of my hair over the last 18yrs so he just goes with the flow. I just learned to brush off all the negative comments I get. Every time I visit my sisters they ask do I want a relaxer. I tell them you do you and I will do me!!!! I love my natural hair and if they don't like it is their problem. You are beautiful and don't let anybody tell you different!!! I have a 14yr daughter and she is natural also and she has really been supportive!!!!

Hey Sam70! Yeah my mom and dad actually love my hair like this and said it looks great. My boyfriend at first didnt want me to cut it but now he likes it since its growing back already. You and everyone else here is so supportive I love this forum nd u guys.

ditto to what the other ladies have said. You are gorgeous! I wish I was where you are now when I was 19. LOL 19 seems so long ago especially since I'm about to be [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] 25!! LOL But seriously, you keep your confidence and know that those who know and love will accept whatever decision you decide to make regarding your hair. I'm mean really, its not like you said you were denouncing your religion, moving to Utah, and joining a cult lol ALTHOUGH, they may have something to say if you get as addicted to this site as some of us have.

@AfrikanLatina very funny! 19 was not that long ago for you lol. And I know right I dont know why people freak out I mean it is just hair. Maybe I could see if it was super super long like to my butt. My hair had broke off to above chin length so seriously I just wanna tell everyone to calm down because it will grow back lol. OH and by the way I am becoming more and more addicted to this site

AfrikanLatina done made me feel old, lol. @Missmoriah, when I first saw your picture, I was about to post how pretty I thought you were. You being confident enough to rock your natural hair will only enhance your beauty. Not everyone will be positive but you only need to please yourself.

We're all addicted to the site!

@ missmoriahI totally agree with whats been said already.Hang around here you will grow stronger and wiser. The support in this community is truly amazing!

wooo hooo welcome newbie! ur gonna find so much love and support from the natural diva's around here ur not even gonna be fazed by ANY negativity! when i rocked my "low cut caesar with the deep waves" (lol) i threw on some mascara n lipgloss and was instantly turned into a whole new me. people are gonna love u and hate u for cutting it all off. my dad asked me last wknd "when u gonna grow ur hair back" he's always liked me with long hair. i am growing it...just naturally! my lil sister who gave me the title as her "hair idol" looked at me like WTF!! the haters just dont see or understand YOUR vision. i've learned to be patient becuz im not gonna wake up as repunzel tomorrow ya know. all my girls who ATTEMPTED to go natural wanted to transition with like 14 inches of permed hair and 1 inch of new growth. im like why not start fresh n cut it all OFF!!

i still got love for long term transitioners becuz we all have insecurities on relying on long tresses but i definitely have the upmost respect for those rebel diva's who put up the finger n shave it alllll off. i didnt understand why so many people made a big deal when solange shed the weave becuz its only hair. u definitely have to rock that low cut with confidence. that low cut just makes people stop in their tracks to admire ur beauty even more!

just think, while those haters are spending money they dnt have to finance those weaves and dealin with scabby scalps n split ends, all u gotta do is wake up n wash n go, lol. stay focused. scroll on over to the "then n now" section to see the progress we've made becuz this site keeps me motivated so much i wouldnt dare think about my ex-boyfriend name Affirm perm! LET UR INNER PJ SHINE!!! and enjoy!

jamaicacurl wrote:Um yeah #1 you are beautiful...there's no doubt about that! You could be bald and you'd still look good!

#2 -correct your hairdresser and tell her that you graduated and now you know exactly what to do with yourself!

#3- It's much easier said than done but try not to worry so much about what your sister may think or say. I know she's blood so she's going to give her honest opinion but if you are happy with your new hair journey then let that shine! Don't let her or anybody else steal your joy! Be confident and rock your new do and nobody can touch you!

Let the choir say AMEN!!!

whoa...19 for me...mary j blige was singing back up for father mc...lol...real love just came out.

lol lena, stop tellin ur age! dmn now im feelin old cuz i can remember wantin that mary j hat with the top cut out to hold the high pony tail...ahhhh the good ol' days. father mc though "if u do for me, i will do for u" The Jukebox BEFORE it turned into The Box was my favorite channel.

My 19 was RIP biggie n 2pac, dru hill took over and i was like Destiny Child who?