The way men perceive you now that you are NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL

I accepted a long time ago that "yo shawty" type guys don't approach me. Hmm maybe that's why high school was so weird,lol. Plain and simple, they just don't, but it has never bothered me much since they always have drama around them. I guess I vibe better with the neo-soul or computer guys,lol. Btw, some of them are really cute and smart. Anyway, I really think it comes down to how you carry yourself. It took me a long time to figure it out, but if you seriously think you look fine with natural hair, other people will too.

I was told by several black men that they liked me better when my hair was straight and that my natural hair doesn't fit me. My response was, "So, you would rather see a black woman wear weave all the way down their back instead of embracing their natural hair?? Their answer was.. Yes.. who figure..

Meanwhile on the flip side.....
I am approached more by white men than ever before...lol Got a couple of numbers too...lol

I love my curls and I will never go back.. so i told my friends to GET OVER IT..

My husband was scared when I first started going natural, because he doesnt like short hair. Men! But as it started to grow out and I wore it in its natural state, I found that black men kinda stayed away alittle, men of other races was feeling it more than the brothers. So black men have to be trained to appreciate a black womens natural hair. Because alot of them don't. My husband is know trained and loves my hair, and all the men in my family dig it, they think my hair is beautiful. Some are even looking for natural sisters themselves. I think we just have to train black men. And those that cant be trained ..... well lets just say somebody has to love the creamy crack queens. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I've had waist length relaxed hair for as long as I can remember (elementary-adulthood). I attracted men from every spectrum (younger, older, white, black, latin, asian, white and blue collar). The lines were "you're beautiful...long pretty hair...can i take you to lunch?" Once I became natural, the line shifted to "you're beautiful...what are you "mixed with" (like I'm some kind of breed...errr)..can I take you out". Men are funny to me!! I've been very happily married for 11 years. Funny thing is when the hubster and I are out, I get hit on by more men than when I'm out alone. I think it has something to do with my swag, lol. When out, I wear my hair big and curly...my whole attitude changes...I go into fierce mode and I guess it's attactive.

Hello, I joined about a month or two ago and I just couldn't pass on commenting on this thread. It is crazy to me how men are about hair. This is my second journey of going natural. My first journey I cried for 3 weeks when I cut my perm off but I knew it had to be done, I had been permed all my life and didn't know what my natural hair looked like. My husband at the time was black and made crude remarks after I did it, saying things like, "Oh I guess this is the bushy look now." It really hurt my feelings. So it was hard for me to continue on without perming again. Well speed up a few years and we got divorced and I met a really great guy, that I married, who happens to be white. He loved me for me and encouraged me to go back to being natural and he loves it. He helped me cut my hair and told me never to put a perm on again. He just the other day said he can't wait to see it big and curly. I think it is a shame that most of the time our own men can't appreciate the queens we are. My white husband calls me his ebony queen all the time and thinks I'm the hottest thing walking. I'm working my natural hair and loving it all the way. Thank God for you ladies and this site. Between you and my hubbie I'm fierce and loving it.

Lady Brittain, I'm glad you found a MAN that can appreciate you as you are. Wear your crown Sis, because it's YOURS. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Welcome to the site, and feel free to jump in on any of the threads!

I had to bump this topic. yes I have noticed a diffrence, a diffrence in the type of men who approach me. I do not get the young "hey ma ma" boys anymore. It seems like I am more respected, I hope that our African American men will realize that our hair is beautiful. Some dont even say anything, I think they are intimidated. LOL

I'm in college too. When I came back to school after christmas break with my hair cut off.....all the guys who were trying to get at me stop talking to me! I was shocked. But then I started getting approached by those non-player type boys too. So, I'm happy that my hair got rid of the jerks. And on top of that I caught a good one. He was the football type that all the girls wanted but couldn't have. Turns out he loves short natural hair. Lucky me lol.

All this is way funny because i have a boyfriend for 6 years and we have been through a whole lot ! i mean a whole lot. but when i started transitioning (8 months) he has really started to change for the better and be more serious about us, and he adores me now! i love it! as far as other men go.... well i live in utah and there isnt a whole lot of black men but i have noticed they are way more into me now then before and white men out here love black women period no matter what type of hair you have lol. but even the black men who prefer white women have been interested.

This is a great topic!!! I seem to attract hispanic men now. And not young men either it's normally men in there 30' 40's. Which doesn't bother me at all:) When my hair was relaxed men had no problem calling me "Shawty" "Yo Ma" I definitely turned a lot of heads. It seemed like relaxed hair was what moved a lot of black men. When I decided to go back natural six years ago,everything changed. Nobody was checking for me. My hair was in that awkward stage. As my hair grew out got longer, I started getting the looks from black guys again, but only because of the texture of my hair. I get the are you mixed left and right. It's annoying really. Every now and again I get the "your beautiful sistah" and that puts a big smile on my face.

Well I'm kind of transitioning in reverse, I BC'd in January but haven't really worn her out yet. While visiting my hometown, and on the way to a hair appointment I decided to wear her "out" instead of covering her up. I went from "ay bay, what's yo' sign" to "let me get the door for you sweetheart". I was in shock. I had already started kinda feeling my 'fro, but that was kind of nice. Then a male friend of mine (loc'd) is very upset that I covered my hair up and is trying to get me vehemently to wear it out...Alas, I digress, I do see a correlation with being associated with the enlightened few and being approached by differing races and/or types of men.

I am young. Still in high school and my experience is similar to most you guys. I learned quickly that my long straight brown hair got all the boys attention, but I didn't like them being attracted to me for that reason. Once I began to wear my natural hair the type of boys who approached me and their intentions (if ya catch my drift) changed. I wasn't ever called "shawty" or anything though.

It's funny.. I agree with just about everyone who posted here. I guess guys are the same everywhere huh?

I get hit on by mostly hispanics now which is kinda funny because the first thing they try to do is come at me with spanish! I'm not spanish at all, my family is jamaican and I have black, indian, chinese and irish roots so I just have to smile and say "no habla espanol" in what probably sounds like broken spanglish lol

The Hey Ma types have calmed it down. I get followed by the persistent young ones now :/

I agree with everyone as well. It seems like before that I was always attracting guys who were the "player" types. They were never might type and never ever will be. I noticed that once I started college and traveled a bit, it seems that a lot of foreign men hit on me more now that I'm natural. I can't begin to count how many hispanic, Hatian, white, black, etc have began to talk to me more now. I think its a mix of me accepting myself for who I am and me being a fierce natural beauty hehe!

Krissy

My family is jamaican too! and I have black, indian, chinese, scottish, cuban, panamanian and irish roots...but I consider myself black!!! Love ur curls!!

@ krys Jamaica is the best place on earth! I mean where else can you get a mix like that??
Thanks 4 da compliment btw
I really like your hair too!

curlygirlinastraightworld wrote:My husband was scared when I first started going natural, because he doesnt like short hair. Men! But as it started to grow out and I wore it in its natural state, I found that black men kinda stayed away alittle, men of other races was feeling it more than the brothers. So black men have to be trained to appreciate a black womens natural hair. Because alot of them don't. My husband is know trained and loves my hair, and all the men in my family dig it, they think my hair is beautiful. Some are even looking for natural sisters themselves. I think we just have to train black men. And those that cant be trained ..... well lets just say somebody has to love the creamy crack queens. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

My very first post...and I am cracking up at this statement. It can definitely give one a whole new outlook.

Hey ladies,
Well my husband, keeps looking at me sayin 'you look so beautiful' (aww bless) more than ever lately and all i have is day 5 2strand twist & knot outs pulled back as getting fluffy!
Other guys, just usually say, 'wow, is that real your hair' lol, 'it's mad isn't it, but i like it, its different' ha ha, especially what with me being a white girl! theyre not as used to it, black guys, do a few takes to.
But more importantly, my hubby seems to be enjoying as much as me so im happy happy!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When I saw this post...I HAD HAD HAD to reply.

I am a junior in college...make that an HBCU! my entire first two years I had a relaxer. I got compliments, stares, approached, “hey ma”...”aye yo shorty” and the most common [NOT to mention played out] “Pssssssst.” from ALOT of african american guys, as well as intimidated.

Over the summer I made the personal vow to go natural and to never return to a relaxer A.K.A “creamy crack” ... when I returned this Fall, ALOT of the guys that were pursuing me sort of fell back, and watched from a distance. This came off as a shock and made me think\realize these fools were more prone to my relaxer, and my new natural look [twa] did not interest them...I have fell in love with my hair and at this point really do not care what they [simple minded boys!] or anyone else thinks...

as for my friends hmmm... I get the half\ & half ... oh why did you do it? I could never walk around like that, how do you do it? and then I get OMG I wish I had your courage, and I am thinking about going natural as well.

I get treated like an young woman now from older guys versus the “aye shorty” Bs...

Needless to say, “If you can’t accept me for who I am... There’s NO need for you in my life”

Thank you curlynikki for this site, and to all my natural inspired females go girl, go girl go girl] *Wale Voice* haha

Naturally_Beautiful wrote:When I saw this post...I HAD HAD HAD to reply.

I am a junior in college...make that an HBCU! my entire first two years I had a relaxer. I got compliments, stares, approached, “hey ma”...”aye yo shorty” and the most common [NOT to mention played out] “Pssssssst.” from ALOT of african american guys, as well as intimidated.

Over the summer I made the personal vow to go natural and to never return to a relaxer A.K.A “creamy crack” ... when I returned this Fall, ALOT of the guys that were pursuing me sort of fell back, and watched from a distance. This came off as a shock and made me think\realize these fools were more prone to my relaxer, and my new natural look [twa] did not interest them...I have fell in love with my hair and at this point really do not care what they [simple minded boys!] or anyone else thinks...

as for my friends hmmm... I get the half\ & half ... oh why did you do it? I could never walk around like that, how do you do it? and then I get OMG I wish I had your courage, and I am thinking about going natural as well.

I get treated like an young woman now from older guys versus the “aye shorty” Bs...

Needless to say, “If you can’t accept me for who I am... There’s NO need for you in my life”

Thank you curlynikki for this site, and to all my natural inspired females go girl, go girl go girl] *Wale Voice* haha

Amen, well put

@ kez thanks

Nice pic & great curls =)

I can't really speak from experience since my hair is mostly under wigs not (in transition ) but ill say this i have a curly wig that looks like its like type 3 something hair when i wear it i get approach and compliments from lot of black men asking me if its my hair etc they love the natural look yadi yadi ya lol than i have an afro wig type 4 hair that closer to my texture when i wear it i get approach by black afro centric men some with dreads than i get hit on by white and hispanic men a lot idk could it be that other races of men appreciate kinkier hair than Black men i refuse to assume but thats what i have experience but in may after i cut my permed ends ill see for sure

lol this is a good question, well i find tht i attract the same kind of guys i did with perm hair and to me men seem to have an appreciation for my hair and rocking it natural. I think black men be happy to see a black girl for once not weaving it up lol. And it all depends on how u carry yourself, if u rocking natural hair but your hair is in a cute hair style and your owning it and still sexy i find tht black men do not have a problem. I think they have a problem with black girls who are natural and are like "Black Power" kind of thing. Nothings wrong with that but black men to me seem to not be into all of tht.