The way men perceive you now that you are NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL

staishique wrote:

I'm approached by guys differently as well. I'm often called 'sis,' or 'queen,' or more humorously Erykah Badu/Jill Scott (I look nothing like them). I don't get the 'yo ma', can I talk to you,' anymore (thankfully).

So true. I was wearing my hair in a short cut when I was relaxed so it was a "grown n sexy" type look. I noticed that more business focused/minded gentlemen were interested. After growing my hair out I got the Rasta/Caribbean men that were interested and they approached with respect. I think there will always be the guys that want to approach with the tired lines [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] but they are fewer and far in between nowadays

That is so funny because my roomate and I went natural together and we've been getting non stop compliments from white men. I live in Los Angeles and you know the weaves and extensions are plentiful here. The other day I was driving on the freeway and this man honked his horn at me. To my surprise it was this surfish white guy asking me for my number. ON THE FREEWAY! He nearly hit the car in front of him. However on my college campus I get the mean looks from the girls. How do you all handle that? I try to ignore it but it is a little hurtful

dnlejns wrote:That is so funny because my roomate and I went natural together and we've been getting non stop compliments from white men. I live in Los Angeles and you know the weaves and extensions are plentiful here. The other day I was driving on the freeway and this man honked his horn at me. To my surprise it was this surfish white guy asking me for my number. ON THE FREEWAY! He nearly hit the car in front of him. However on my college campus I get the mean looks from the girls. How do you all handle that? I try to ignore it but it is a little hurtful

ROFL at your surfer dude. I need to hit up Cali! Heh. I think the idea of a natural woman, not just in hair texture but in general is a breath of fresh air to them.

Don't worry about the haters. When they see someone being proud of their beauty then cannot handle the fact that they are not proud of their own. Sooner or later they won't even phase you.

vintagenarcissa: I agree with you
dnlejns: I enjoy the dirty looks. It makes me hold my head up higher. They are usually just jealous because they don't have the guts to make the natural plunge.

I notice no change in men since I used to get a variety to start with
different personalities, different levels of maturities and different
ages. But I do find I get less responses from men now. I also seems to be
called cute more in general when refered to my hair (almost as if I
seem like a cuter person). But since my hair doesn't easily convey my
style I find I work on attire more.

lol..this thread is great..i about this awhile ago...i may need to post the note on here

@hyspin I've noticed that too. I'm trying to find clothes around my hair lol. that convey my style and my cute curls

You do have cute curls dnlejns! What did you do?

aww thanks! this picture is the first day of my natural life lol! i used cantu butter leave in conditioner with shea (which i still use) and just some water. I'm a bantuohlic so i did bantu knots. and then styled it. my hair absorbs moister pretty quick so it only took over night to dry ( somewhat). now im kind of becoming a product junkie i found mixed chicks leave in conditioner and i was skeptical. but i love it now for curl definition.

Sweet, well it looks great!

Maturity and being comfortable in their own blackness helps. I've gotten compliments on my hair from men in general, but I do notice how some men will look away or give me that "she must be gay" look, lol. Why do I have to be that? Why can't I just want healthy hair? Most men don't know enough about hair to really know the mentality and motivation for us going natural. They only know about how it looks on the outside not what it does to you on the inside. Like I've said on previous posts, I find that natural hair for me, my friends, and the natural beauties I've seen on this and other sites like it, it frees you. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] The man I'm interested in has to be able to appreciate that. HAS TO! But they need to be educated as well. Through sites like this & others, hopefully some are lurking and will spread the word. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I agree with you bohostreet! My next man has to appreciate me for me and my hair! LOL

I've gotten men from all races, and ages approach me. The funny thing about the black men is that they assume I'm "Afro-centric" because I wear my hair in it's natural state. I'd love to know what the term Afro-Centric really means.

How did I miss this thread??

Since the first big chop, I get approached by more West Indian and white men than I do black men. If I do get approached by a brother, he's usually older (40+). If they're younger (27-40), they're actually very respectful. I have yet to get the "psst, yo SHORTAY!!" or "Ma, ma, can I talk to you MA!!!" since going natural. It's always "Good morning Sis.", "How are you?", "You look very nice", "Gorgeous"...things like that.

I also get approached by a lot of artists and musicians (regardless of race). I don't know if they think being natural has to do with that "hipster" foolishness, but they dig it. A LOT. Especially if their OWN hair is curly/kinky. (Trust me, they're out there. At least in NYC they are!)

Ive noticed that now that Im confident with my hair and styling capabilities guys think its fierce....the main ones who first told me "no your relaxed hair was so beautiful dont cut it" are the main ones talking bout "i like your hair, its so cute"....thats why i say just let the haters motivate you....folks always got so much to say but pay attention to how they keep themselves up, I bet they need to worry more about themselves then you going natural

I'm so happy i found this thread. I thought i was loosing it thinking that different types of men approach me because of my hair. For the first two years of college I had a press-n-curl or micro braids so different types of men approached me. I noticed that more black guys seemed more interested when my hair was straight. Around the middle of junior year i started wearing my hair "natural" simply for the convenience, and I noticed that a lot more white men and people of other races complimented me. My ex-boyfriend was white and he loved playing in my natural hair. He had a serious case of hand in fro syndrome. Now i wear twist outs, twists, afros or pinned downed styles and different types still stare. I def agree that more neo-soul, funky, musician type of guys seemed interested but at this point I stopped trying to figure it out. I'm just happy for the occasional ego-boost.

aw im glad you like the thread! it was something that was becoming a popular trend among a lot of natural ladies that I know

OMG THIS TOPIC IS JUST FOR ME... Ive been going through since my BC and my sexy I have over 200 pair of heels and havent put on any I just dont feel sexy... mind you i love my hair and im glad i cut it but I guess im so use to people seeing me with long beyonce hair but im over that. I dont pull the same type of guys at all I normally pull the VIP player football type now they are more of the neo soul type of guys. I guess im just in the TWA stage and i cant do much with my hair I dont know what it is but i want me sexy back. Since my bc i have gained weight and everything from a size 12 to 14/16 because im not out flirting and being a diva... Dont get me wrong I love my hair but I want my sexy back... PLease tell me im not the only one....?

Neems wrote:I'm so happy i found this thread. I thought i was loosing it thinking that different types of men approach me because of my hair. For the first two years of college I had a press-n-curl or micro braids so different types of men approached me. I noticed that more black guys seemed more interested when my hair was straight. Around the middle of junior year i started wearing my hair "natural" simply for the convenience, and I noticed that a lot more white men and people of other races complimented me. My ex-boyfriend was white and he loved playing in my natural hair. He had a serious case of hand in fro syndrome. Now i wear twist outs, twists, afros or pinned downed styles and different types still stare. I def agree that more neo-soul, funky, musician type of guys seemed interested but at this point I stopped trying to figure it out. I'm just happy for the occasional ego-boost.

Your post made me smile. I'm transitioning now and I wouldn't have done it if it weren't for my boyfriend. He's white and he always HATED when I came home from the salon with my hair relaxed. He said it smelled funny and didn't have any body. My last relaxer was October '09 and I'm loving the transition. I especially love using all natural products. And my boyfriend can't keep his hands out of my hair. In the past I would tell him to not touch my hair cause I didn't want him to mess it up or have the sweat get to it. Now I love that he's all up in my hair [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] After I wash my hair we both like to pick through my scalp to see what type of curls I have! It's fun for both of us.

Since I'm in a relationship I don't really notice if other guys are checking me out or not. But it is nice to have the support of my man in my transition.

WOW...I was just talking about this!!! Even though i have been transitioning for 6 months now starting last week i have been wearing natural styles vs sew ins and micros and i have noticed that older men have taken a better liking to it. Im in college and just turned 20 so my peers are really shocked lol. All my friends male and female like it but i have been told that i lost my sex appeal but now im beautiful instead of sexy so i guess thats ok. Even though im not really sure why i cant be both but i think id take beautiful over sexy....

shekaraimani wrote:I'm in High school so alot of the guys in my dating pool are all the same the "hey ma' types. But I'm seeing now that alot of older "neo-soul" guys look at me or come up to me. What is with the white guys and natural hair? all of a sudden they all wanna touch my hair tell me how pretty it looks.I think natural hair makes me look older because I have a young face anyway. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I've also noticed ALOT of hateration from black women with relaxed hair in my school and ijn general but on the flip side alot of girls in my school have been wearing their natural hair and I noticed this after I went natural. Natural hair definitly has a positive effect on your confidence because when you walk in a room you know no one else looks like you!

Looking at your avatar, you look "old" in terms of age AT ALL. You actually look very MATURE, like a young woman who's confident in herself. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Which clearly you are!

well since i've been wearing my hair curly i've also noticed that i get a lot less of the "a yo ma" kinda guys.. they just laugh at me as i go by..

i really only care about what my BF (who's latino and has the most amazing 2a/b curls {*jealous}) thinks tho.. i was actually really worried about how he would view my hair..
~keep in mind that we'd been going out for over a year and he'd seen my hair in a bunch of different styles and colors..
..i was really worried about him not thinking i looked good anymore, but i realized that was because i didn't know if i would look good since i'd never worn my hair curly before (despite being natural for ten years).. and sure he gave me the "silly girl" look, but he told me that he's not with me because of how my hair looks (unless i get a mohawk lolz)..
..and he makes sure to reassure me that my hair looks awesome and sexy and blah blah blah.. and i'm really grateful for that <3

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I "went natural" at age 12, I still look twelve, and nasty creepy grown men approach me ESPECIALLY when I'm feeling good and wearing my hair out and curly *sigh* I love my life [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I think guys my age are too scared to talk to me honestly. Which I can't say I mind, more than half of them look like fools with their pants on the ground [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I'm sorry, I had too LOL