Wanna talk about hair and anything else

Hey, I am pretty new to the forums, more of a browser really. I am not really struggling with my hair (yet), but would like to meet and talk with other ladies. It can be a big sis or fellow transitioner. It would just be nice to talk styling methods, products, etc., as well as get to meet new people. My hair is currently APL (I actually cut a bit), I don't know what texture I have, but my baby hairs are pretty and coily (ha!). So far I've had my hair in extensions, and now I've had my own hair in cornrows for almost a week, and I am going to rock the braid out for church on Sunday.

Let me know :-) It'll be great getting to meet you!

u can talk to me about hair or anything eles. been natural for 15 months been on my hair journey 2yrs.

I'm fairly new too! been on the HHJ since July of this year. But, I am willing to listen and offer good Convo.

Thanks for the respons ladies! OK - so FIRST thing is: has this ever happened to you?

I went over a friend's house and was explaining I was going natural. She was like,"Really! Wow. Are you sure? Wow." And the WHOLE time, she was smiling and then curling up her nose like she smelled something bad. I have to admit it was HILARIOUS more than anything, I wasn't even offended.

She assumed I was going to BC, also, that was part of her 'ugly-surprised' face. But I just think it was crazy trying to watch her hide her disdain at the idea. That's the one thing I've gone through so far on this journey... because my hair is long and healthy, few seem to understand why I would feel the need to change it.

Anything like that happen to you guys?

If I may but in (lol) this happens to me everytime I tell people I'm going to go natural. They smile politely and make little remarks like but your hair is so healthy and natural hair is so much work and my personal favourite, how do you expect to find a man.
I suppose I can't be mad as prior to me having done my research I didn't like natural hair as I thought it was unmanageable, unstylable and only for those with "good hair". I keep having to remind myself that not everyone has been enlightened about the wonder of natural hair so I stomach it and wait till my bc so that I can show them.

You're not butting in at all! I'm just happy to be conversing with other women who are on this site, too! I feel kinda like a stalker the way I am on here sometimes

I am with you on your perspective of the things people say, it doesn't upset me at all. I am not even sure WHY I started this journey! Let me explain - I was on youtube looking at/for something - I do not remember what, when I clicked on someone who was transitioning. After that, it was a wrap! I must have watched a billion videos and saw a bunch of websites after that and knew I wanted to transition.

Of course, now that I've researched my little heart out I am glad for all the benefits of going natural, but I feel like an outsider sometimes because it wasn't some revelation for me, nor was it because of any particular breakage, thinning, or damage to my hair. The one thing that happened as I was looking at videos and fotki's etc., I totally fell in love with natural hair. I loved seeing every kink, coil, spiral. I really just saw it as beautiful in a way I had never experienced before!

When are you planning on BCing? I think I want to stick it out and slowly trim my relaxed hair off... but I also experienced saying "let me chop this off and just start fresh."

i havent really had much negativity. when i told my sister i was going natural she did say i wouldnt be able to comb my hair or do anything with it. and i would be harder to care for it than relax hair, but i wasnt offended because she has a lack of knowlege about natural hair that many of us had before going natural/many relax women have. she been relaxed all her life.

jazzwife wrote:You're not butting in at all! I'm just happy to be conversing with other women who are on this site, too! I feel kinda like a stalker the way I am on here sometimes

I am with you on your perspective of the things people say, it doesn't upset me at all. I am not even sure WHY I started this journey! Let me explain - I was on youtube looking at/for something - I do not remember what, when I clicked on someone who was transitioning. After that, it was a wrap! I must have watched a billion videos and saw a bunch of websites after that and knew I wanted to transition.

Of course, now that I've researched my little heart out I am glad for all the benefits of going natural, but I feel like an outsider sometimes because it wasn't some revelation for me, nor was it because of any particular breakage, thinning, or damage to my hair. The one thing that happened as I was looking at videos and fotki's etc., I totally fell in love with natural hair. I loved seeing every kink, coil, spiral. I really just saw it as beautiful in a way I had never experienced before!

When are you planning on BCing? I think I want to stick it out and slowly trim my relaxed hair off... but I also experienced saying "let me chop this off and just start fresh."

we both the same experience/feelings on how we ended up natural.i was searching yt.i cant really say how it happen neither and i came across a natural hair video on yt.after that i watch billions of natural hair vids and became obess with natural hair. looked at blogs, joined hair forums and became well research on natural hair. i feel like an outsider too. i didnt do it because of some revelation or because my relax hair was damage either. i feel in love with natural hair as well and wanted to take care of my natural hair. when i saw my first natural hair video,it made me want to care for my natural hair.

Well I almost feel embarassed by my story . My friends had put texturizer in their hair and I rgretted having relaxed my hair as it was thinning out (thank you dr miracles) and I so badly wanted their limp chemically induced curls . I started to transition. I watched every yt vid and stalked every sight. Then my friend, who had gone natural for the umpteenth time, told me she regretted texturizing her hair and was goin to stop. I'd never seen anyone with such a love for their natural hair especially since she did not have what some would consider "good hair". I started to do my research and the rest was history.

I'm glad I'm I ran into this discussion on the forum because I am struggling with coping with my TWA. When I first did the BC some of my friends like it (my friends that I go to school with in NY) and I didn't want to take any pictures and I didn't want any one from home to see me with my TWA (I'm originally from Ohio). When they saw a picture on Facebook with my TWA they said I looked cute bald headed (which isn't a very good compliment to me....) My boyfriend came in town the day after I did the BC and he was shocked and he didn't say he liked it but he didn't say he disliked it he just said it made me look more like a dancer (because I'm a dance major). That made me kind of insecure about my hair. Also over the summer when I was home in Ohio talking to my family about going natural they were not very supportive. They assumed I would have nappy hair and they did not like that I was going to cut my hair because they like my short Rihanna look. (But when I cut my hair in the short style they did not like it at first...smh confusing family I have!) But I like the way natural hair looks and I would like to grow my hair long, very long. There was a point in my life when I had relaxed hair that my hair was shoulder length and healthy but it was thin; then I made a bad decision in dying the front half of my hair a copper color and it damaged my hair very badly. So I grew it out some then cut it short into a mohawk type style and I loved the style but it wasn't very versatile. Especially with dance I would sweat it out so quickly and I could not find a style that made me look professional as a dancer.
I think that I decided to go natural because I was tired of relaxing my hair and having to make it lay down to fit a certain style. I always liked the idea of curly hair but I never thought my hair could be curly like I see some women wear they're hair. I used to wear curly wigs or weaves but that's not the same as having your own natural curly hair. Also when I was researching I like the idea of being able to wear your natural hair curly or straight and it would be healthy. That's my main goal to have long, healthy, and full natural hair.
I guess I need to gain more confidence with my TWA, I struggled with reverting back to the relaxer but now I think of this transition as a journey and I think the pay off will be greater in the end

@aduke1989 - A dancer, that's wonderful!!! I think your last paragraph says it all - it is a journey, and I am sure it will pay off in the end. The one thing I have noticed about these sites is that a lot of women talk about being empowered because of their decision. I can't attest to that in the same way (as if society's expectations and I had some beef going on), but what I will say is that I've found that there is such a truer sense of identity in making such an outward decision in the face of naysayers (including ourselves). I think that, in itself, is a wonderful payoff.

A friend of mine has a twa and she has heard it ALL, but the one thing she LOVES is that she said she can see her face for the first time. Nothing is hidden, and hair doesn't take precedent, it is really just her. I think that is such a beautiful way of expressing the gift that this journey can give. Also, the one thing I love is knowing that I am doing what's best for me. Like you said, your hair had begun to get thin and then some damage followed. There is something great about knowing I am nurturing - taking real time and care to be healthy. To me, that's where haircare separates from just outward presentation. It's not about the cut, color, or style anymore - it's about what's best. And whoever likes it, or doesn't like it, I am proud of you for doing what's best for you

@kinkycurly - that's not an embarrassing story! Girl, i've sweated some texturized hair myself! Even now, I have to stop myself from coveting other people's curls because mine probably won't be like theirs! Haha, I am a work in progress!

@naturally - and anyone else, if you have a blog, fotki, yt account, I'd love to see your progress!!! OK - I don't have anything yet, but I will be working on one (or all) really soon :-)

@aduke1989 gurl I'm sure you look fly but until you feel fly you need to fake it till you make it. Besides you need to get your accessory on and become the edgy New York dancer that you can be.

Well im feeling the need to vent so here goes, I'm feeling the urge to bc. I just tried two strand twisting my hair and from the root to about three inches down it's so nice then my relaxed ends just hang. Recently I chopped off about three inches of hair to make my hair more manageable and I've noticed that natural to relaxed ends are about 50/50 (5 inches of nach and another five of relaxed). This got me wondering about cutting my hair. I mean if two of my friends and all the other women on this site could have the courage then surely I could too. But I'm so scared. Nobody wants me to and everyone keeps telling me that I'll regret it so I know that once it's done I'll have zero support (except for one frend who lives all the way in the caribbean). I wish I had the courage but I just don't feel pretty enough to pull it off but the relaxed ends just have to go.

@kinkycurlycoily - Girl... and of course, this is just my 2 cents...

I already have a hatred for my relaxed ends like they were sent just to torture me, lol. Do whatever makes you happiest!! Nobody knows what you are going through with your hair BUT you. And the fact is, those that won't support you now, will have to get over it!

I know it's such a permanent decision, and I pray that whatever you do will make you happy. I know this is just a forum, but one thing I know for sure, is that you got a few thousand strong online that got your back!!!

And about not feeling beautiful enough, I think the advice you gave to aduke 1989 is perfect for your own situation :-)

@jazzwife thnx I'll make a decision soon and you guys will be the first to know

FRUSTRATED! How do you deal w/ the two separate moisture needs of transitioning hair. I don't know how to keep the new growth moisturized enough w/o drowning my relaxed ends! I try to just get the natural hair, but it's hard! Any tips?

I moisturize my hair in sections getting only the natural hair and applying a thin layer of shea butter to my relaxed ends. I find the shea has a more waxy texture rather than oily which I prefer on my relaxed ends.

thanks you guys for the support! I guess I do just have to own the style and quit being ashamed or that defeats the whole purpose! I'll have to go accessory shopping and get some new make-up that I won't sweat off in dance class! lol thanks ladies for the encouragement! Tomorrow will be the 2nd time I'll be wearing my TWA in public so I'll see how this goes!

And naturallychelsea I think the BC is something you have to be ready for...I know when I BC I was excited because I was expecting to have this nice curly textured hair and afterwards it was not what I expected, I was also a bit impatient because i had only been growing my hair out for about 2 in a half months. So I think you will know when your ready and when you are you will just do it with no second thoughts. It is kind of liberating seeing the relaxed ends gone and knowing that your hair is healthy...although I didn't keep the relaxed ends long before the BC I do know that my hair was shedding a lot (probably from breakage) and after the BC my hair barely shed at all. So that was also a plus for me!

Thank you natural chelsea! I need to get some shea butter, I am just having a hard time knowing where the best place is to get it. I may just go with butters-n-bars, it just seems like so many people charge so much for so little, and because everyone is on a 'natural' kick, it's hard to know what is quality.

I realized my relaxed ends HATE coconut oil although my roots love it! Also, I probably did use too much on my ends anyway, lol. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

I am about to do my first pre-poo (is it weird that I am excited about that?)

I hope everyone is doing well :-)

@jazzwife Your excitement is quite normal. I get a kick out of washing my hair and seeing my curls pop.

Here's a pic of my braid out after my wash day.[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I am just trying to get the hang of putting pics up. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

wow jazzwife ure braid out is gorgeous and is your hair flat ironed in the second pic?

Yeah, I got it straightened and trimmed a couple weeks ago. The bad thing is I re-braided the braid-out and took it out today and it was a hot mess. LOL. I was on ZanandRob's website today and saw that she doesn't re-braid, but sits the curls on top of her head - maybe that's what I need to do for next time.

jazzwife your hair is beautiful.