Kinky coily type 4 woes

I wanted to go natural for many reasons and upon deciding to begin my natural journey I did not know each person had a unique curl pattern. All the natural people I knew had loose Type 3 curls so I assumed that is what natural meant. However, I have type 4 and after 2.5 years of being natural I have not mastered my locs. I spent the first year and a half hiding behind braids. Then this past year I found many youtube beauties and blog sites that showed me new techniques. Even with my knowledge and trial and error my journey has not gotten easier. I have the hardest time detangling my hair. It seems as though I comb and comb and comb but the knots are never ending. I don't want to hate my curls. I really want to embrace them, but how can you when you dread wash days. Some days i look at my hair and i just don't know what to do with it. It won't go in a puff, it doesn't look good in a fro, my twists look old after 2 days. I just feel at a complete loss and the thing is my hair does not define me. But it is a part of me and when people see me I want them to see a presentable young lady even before they get to know who I am. I'm just having a really hard time with these tight curls and needed to vent!

I also have tight coils, like little cork screws. I haven't cut off the relaxed ends yet, so I don't know what to do with a head full of natural hair. but i can tel you, you're not far off base....your profile pic is gorgeous!!!

to feel presentable, can you put your hair in a bun? It looks like you have enough for a curly bun.

do you mean it wont go in a puff because it is too long? i'm hoping to be able to wear a puff after i bc.

as far as knots, what if you add oil to the conditioner? then only comb it with the oil / conditioner mix in it during wash time? my condits aren't as detangling without olive oil.

Girl, I understand your frustration. My hair likes to wrap around itself a lot. I find knots even when my hair is twisted. I found a solutions for detangling - coating my hair with conditioner, letting it sit and then slowly combing the ends works wonders. I'm no longer scared of trying to detangle.

It looks like your hair is long enough to put into a nice bun, maybe that would help.

@ HappyCurly it's not that I can't put it in a puff it's just my hair doesn't go up the way it used to do when i first started my journey. The sides don't lay down and it's really lumpy. I know my hair doesn't respond to olive oil but i have not tried any other oil with conditioner.

@ Neems I only detangle when conditoner is on my hair but when it dries it feels as though I didn't even comb it. Does it mean i still haven't found the right conditioner?

In my picture i am wearing a twist out but my hair after i wash it shrinks up to my neck and I'm unable to bun it. And just like you said i find knots when my hair is twisted as well as when i take the twists out.

Hey Judik and Welcome to Curl Street!

What products are you using and what conditioner do you use to detangle?

Hi Judik!!!

I understand your frustration with the knots, cause I have the same problems. I get knots when my hair is out and twisted up, doesn't matter. Taking your time to detangle and using lots of conditioner is helping me with the knots, I'm still working at it, but its getting better. I use Suave Coconut conditioner to detangle my hair.

Are you using any kind of gel or shea butter/oils to smooth your edges and sides down before you do your puff?? I use either Jane Carter's Nourish & Shine or Eco Styler gel to smooth my hair in preparation for my puff, then I use a piece of old panty hose to secure the puff.

You have beautiful hair!!!

hey, curly!! welcome!

can u let us know your regimen??

Judik, I'm not sure about the conditioner. I know sauve sea breeze works for combing out but once I rinse my hair feels stringy and slighty dry so I'm still looking for a good pre-poo. Btw, my hair doesn't like the coconut suave or HEHH. I think it has to do with the coconut milk and silicones.

Thank you ladies. Lately I have felt like my hair is anything but beautiful but I appreciate that. My regimen:

Shampoo every week with Giovanni 50/50 or Kinky Curly Come Clean (don't use that often)

Conditoner I haven't found a good one yet but I was using smooth as silk but the protien was too much for my strands so i switched to HE HH but although it was nice for detangling my hair felt like straw still when it dried. Now I use Tresseme naturals conditioner and it's been okay for detangling but I'm not in love so I'm yet to find a conditioner that i can call my staple.

I don't really have a leave in anymore but I apply shea butter after my hair dries and seal with Wild Grow Hair Oil which I use on my scalp as well.

I will mention I have been abroad for the past few months and I ran out of hair products in March so I've just been using what i can get away with. That being said I didn't really have a stable regimen before I left either.

I don't use any kind of gel when I do my hair. And I am yet to master the panty hose method when it comes to puffs.