Jealousy affecting my confidence

SO i thought my transition was going well and i reached a decent length for my 9 month in transition on the parts that are relaxer free but i watched this girl on youtube she makes my hair look like crap and a big disappointment im not giving up i thought i was doing everything right ? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
This the parts that are relaxer free and that was last month my 9th month in transition should my hair be longer why was her hair shoulder length at 9 months am i being overly jealous green with envy ?

Girl, don't fret!!!! You can't compare your hair to anyone elses. That's how you get caught up. Your hair is like no one elses, just like mine is like no one elses. You have to be patient with your hair and just keep doing what you have been doing, If you have been seeing good results, stick with that. Don't let what you see on someone else get you down or discouraged. I have seen SEVERAL ladies whose hair I admire but I can't compare mine with their's because it's not the same hair. It may LOOK the same but it isn't.

Hang in there!!! You're hair is doing just fine and it's doing what it's supposed to be doing!!!

And to me, from these pics your hair looks quite healthy so just hang in there gril!!!!

Yes you are being overly jealous, but it's normal We all compare ourselves to others even though it's not healthy. She is a different person with different lifestyle factors that affect her growth. You've achieved a great length of hair IMO. It's been 9 months since I bc'd and my hair is not as long as yours. You're doing great...keep it up!

I agree with everyone above. I got caught up looking at other peoples hair and then I got mad becuase my hair was not "acting" like theirs. Then I started being mean to my hair by pulling and tugging and detailing all wrong because I was frustrated. I think your hair is fab and that you have great growth!

LMAO!!! because Dream Merchant (right above me) is my new hair idol but in all honesty I know I can't expect my hair to look like hers (as beautiful as it is). But I can strive to make mine as healthy and pretty as it can be, for MY hair!!!

That looks like healthy and great growth to me. Don't get caught up as the other ladies have stated above in someone else's head-I'm transitioning also and I've done that in the past with thinking I should be at a certain length with growth due to the "average" growth rate and everyone else having it. Well its not happening for me and I had to face the facts my head is not like everyone else's and stop comparing and love what I have because at the end of the day I'm going to bed with this head not theirs. HTH

Okay i was so mad when i saw her a video ... i was thinking after all this protecting styling and my hair still ain't pass my shoulders smh
YEah you ladies re right i cant get mad and give up besides maybe it was weave lol jk

that's so true , it still a little sting when you think you doing great and you see someone doing better than you , i need to get over it after all i did retain something

yeah but Creole, you know that may mean your hair will be super strong cuz it's taking it's time. I dunno. But yeah, your hair is pretty and healthy. And you know what about that weave comment....I have seem someone on HERE whose hair I was like, oh please that's a weave!!! LOL But she says it's hers. It's not even long but it looks like a weave. LOL But yeah, so you may be comparing your real healthy, natural hair to someones weave!!!!

LMAO smh it was her hair im just so envious i wish it was a weave lmao jk

misskris wrote:yeah but Creole, you know that may mean your hair will be super strong cuz it's taking it's time. I dunno. But yeah, your hair is pretty and healthy. And you know what about that weave comment....I have seem someone on HERE whose hair I was like, oh please that's a weave!!! LOL But she says it's hers. It's not even long but it looks like a weave. LOL But yeah, so you may be comparing your real healthy, natural hair to someones weave!!!!

You crazy lol

creolebeauty1 wrote:SO i thought my transition was going well and i reached a decent length for my 9 month in transition on the parts that are relaxer free but i watched this girl on youtube she makes my hair look like crap and a big disappointment im not giving up i thought i was doing everything right ? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
This the parts that are relaxer free and that was last month my 9th month in transition should my hair be longer why was her hair shoulder length at 9 months am i being overly jealous green with envy ?

Hey Creolebeauty1,
I understand your frustration, but perhaps you have unrealistic expectations for your hair based upon what you saw on YT. Let's put it into context. Who is she(because I do want to see, lol) and why do you think your hair growth should equal hers? Do you know that you have the same regimen? Was her hair in the same condition as yours when she started? Is your environment comparable to hers? I could go on & on(but I won't) and you can continue to torture yourself or... channel that energy into something contructive. You say you thought you were doing everything right and you very well could be(give yourself credit for the progress in your pictures). Are you keeping a hair journal to document your transition? Have you reviewed your progress? Ask yourself are you being consistent in applying what you have learned? Did you give products & techniques enough time to give you results? What are your plans(not length goals) for the next 90 days?

After you come up with your plan, give yourself a break this evening. Find something to do that does not involve your hair and enjoy yourself!

HTH

CB1 everyone gave you good advice! One of my best lessons was exactly that! I had to focus on MY hair, because it will NOT twist like Lynn or look like MahoganyCurls! No matter what I did..so don't lose any sleep my curly friend..fall in love with YOUR curls! They are gorgeous!

Great response FC!

Hair, on average, grows 1/4 to 1/2 inches per month. Based on your pics, your hair is right on schedule.

FalconTress gave great advice.

In the words of MsVcharles from Youtube, There is a saying in the natural hair community - "I am not my hair" Guess what? "You are not her hair either" LOL!!!!

Be thankful for the length you have. I know people who have been natural for 2 yrs and they dont have the growth you have and yes they trying to grow their hair out.

::Totally off topic:: Your nails are super cute. I have to try that design on my nails.

@ falcontress Hey Creolebeauty1,
I understand your frustration, but perhaps you have unrealistic expectations for your hair based upon what you saw on YT. Let's put it into context. Who is she(because I do want to see, lol) and why do you think your hair growth should equal hers? Do you know that you have the same regimen? Was her hair in the same condition as yours when she started? Is your environment comparable to hers? I could go on & on(but I won't) and you can continue to torture yourself or... channel that energy into something contructive. You say you thought you were doing everything right and you very well could be(give yourself credit for the progress in your pictures). Are you keeping a hair journal to document your transition? Have you reviewed your progress? Ask yourself are you being consistent in applying what you have learned? Did you give products & techniques enough time to give you results? What are your plans(not length goals) for the next 90 days?

After you come up with your plan, give yourself a break this evening. Find something to do that does not involve your hair and enjoy yourself!

I don't know her name , at night when im bored i usually browse youtube videos and see people's progress i have been transitioning for 9 months almost 10 now i was totally satisfied with my length retention until i saw her video last night her hair type is similar to mines and she had a video at her 9 months transition her hair was already shoulder length witch is my goal for when i BC or clip my relaxed ends
I agree i have no clue what her regiment is or what product she uses because i didn't even bother to look my jealousy was so high childish i think now but still felt that way , yes i you also right i made great progress so far and should concentrate on that , i have been taking pics each month to document my growth i plan on making a hair journey transition video so i'm keeping pics for it and i post them on here as well , for the next 90 days i plan on wearing wigs and protective styles actually i plan on wearing protective style until i BC in april and obtain healthy , thick hair thank you and you are right my obsession is driving me to ... pure hair illness
Thanks again

Thank you Lynnie i needed a boost lol , thanks i followed this girl tutorial on youtube her name is bargain princess is her zebra look she stays with the fly nails tutorials

I agree with the ladies!!

sometimes i just stop doing length checks because i can get caught up in growth too...I only do length checks on my month anniversaries..when i first BC I was doing length checks daily lol like really who has hair that grows DAILY!! lol

lol @ rayray im obsess with length checks already and i have not cut it yet wow lol

creolebeauty1, you are welcome.
Looking forward to seeing your smiling face in those pics.

Thank you you ladies are the BEST , i would be so lost without y'all

U know how when u weigh urself everyday the stress hinders weight loss? I wonder if stressing about length can slow down hair growth. Maybe focus on healthy hair rather than long hair.

lol it might or you may just not notice the results because yu are so focused on the wrong things

misskris wrote:LMAO!!! because Dream Merchant (right above me) is my new hair idol but in all honesty I know I can't expect my hair to look like hers (as beautiful as it is). But I can strive to make mine as healthy and pretty as it can be, for MY hair!!!

You make me blush Misskris