Just a little rant

Ever since I have been natural ( July 2010) my father and mother have not wanted to support my decision. They just keep telling me how ugly I am, and that I am never going to get anywhere based on what I look like. Needless to say, I am not going back to having permed hair, because I hated myself then, but i love myself now. It's just so hard when parents praised you only because what you look like. Now that I have changed, I can't walk anywhere in my house without them saying that I look disgusting. It's very ironic to me because I definitely have the hair of my father's side of the family, who says the most hurtful things. It went even so far today that he said he was going to disown me... I know this may sound a little fabricated, but I just feel so bad, i really wish you all could sit in on the fights we have! I don't understand how a parent's point of view can change just because of a hair style change. I am a good child! I go to college, I have a 4.0, run track, and I'm involved in several honor societies, but i told him all the good i do for him, and they just reply that it doesn't matter! WELL, EXCUSE ME BUT IM SORRY I CANT WEAR A LACE FRONT ON MY HEAD LIKE BEYONCE! NOT ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE BORN WITH STRAIGHT HAIR, he thinks i need to have straight long flowing hair. Not gonna happen.. I'm really sorry everyone, I'd rather just get my feelings out through writing.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

Wow Tink, Sorry to hear that as well. I hope they are able to soon understand that you made a decision for YOU and no one else. You are now old enough to make decisions for yourself and they have to respect that. Hope it gets better soon!

Oh and frankly I think your TWA and you are just beautiful!!!! Rock it girl!!!

Wow! I'm sorry this has happened to you as well. And your hair and you look beautiful!!!!!!

Runtinkrun, I am soooo sorry you have to go through this with the people who should love you most just for the person you are. And to me you sound like a beautiful person, and you are cuter than cute!!

Let me just say I'm sorry what your parent's are putting you through. The world has changed so drastically from our day that sometimes we old school parent's forget that.

Sounds to me like you're on the right track 4.0 gpa, multiple college networking activities, so I ask you this, what will your parent's say once you have become the successful black woman you are definitely on the path to being? Since my children are successful adults I can say that in the end what type of person you become will infinitely be more important to them than what society says you should look like. My oldest son started out with dreads in his sophomore year of high school and now owns his own home, is a father of 3 with a stay at home mom who also has a degree in radiology. In short concentrate on your success and regardless what they may think of your hair now I'm certain they will realize the beauty of your choices later on. Please be patient with your parent's I'm sure they are only thinking of what they believe is best for you but change in attitude of what defines beauty for women is coming. Be blessed

Um...ok....Catcurls....you?? and oldschool parent??? You look my age!!!!!

Whoa. Your parents are being really , REALLY mean to you all because of how you wear your hair! I could never imagine me AND my husband both collaborating to call our child ugly. I am SOO sorry you have to go through this. try to stay strong.

Runtinkrun, I'm sorry you're going through this. Your parents' actions are unacceptable and abusive. Dont subject yourself to their insults just because they're your parents. Keep your distance and keep growing personally and professionally, and if (hopefully WHEN) they come around, they'll extend themselves to you.

Btw, you and your hair look great in your profile picture.

I hear ya Runtinkrun. My mother told me that I couldn't cut my hair so thank God we are on different continents because I did. My mother told me that I'd be uglier than my sisters and that I was simply following a fashion trend. Needless to say I did my own thing and I'm happy about my decision. Your parents are probably worried about what others will perceive about you as they are fully aware of the ignorance out there.

The trick is to never waiver. Stand firm in your decision and they will realize just how serious you are. They may never come around and love your hair but they might just stop giving you such a hard time. Also have you tried talking to your parents? You could try this method. It will do two things, show your parents that you have made an informed decision and show them that you value their opinion but simply wish to make your own.

P.S your hair is gorgeous

thank you so much everyone! You all are amazing because I need someone who understands where I'm coming from. I've tried talking to my father and mother, but they just don't understand or don't want to hear about it when i try to tell them. It is what it is, and I am who i am, and i'm not changing for anyone. You all are an amazing support and i'm going to continue to keep things the way they are. they can't stop loving me over something so stupid. I'm just going to try to keep doing well, and ignore the folks if i have to! it so hard to have someone that is supposed support you, not support you. I'm just gonna keep a smile on my face, and keep doing what i'm doing! Thanks again everyone for your words of encouragement. I've come too far to go back to the way that I was! I just want to say i appreciate it so much!

This is a very loving, supportive community here at CurlyNikki. We're all here for each other

Wow that's horrible but they say those things not realizing how hurtful it is but because they are afraid of how society will view you not realizing the generation where only straight hair was acceptable in the workplace is long gone keep up the path you are in , and be strong and righteous eventually they will come around

misskris wrote:Um...ok....Catcurls....you?? and oldschool parent??? You look my age!!!!!

Umm, like yeah!! Olde Skool coming up on 52 in January!! BTW BC 8/2009. This pic is me 4 month natural.

But thanks for the compliment Misskris, lol!!

Oh man! That's messed up!! Well you and your hair are beautiful! One day they will realize that treating a certain way because of your hair was so not worth it!! Hang in there!!! Blessings!!!

Dont let what your parents say affect what your goals are hair or otherwise
Pray on it

OMG im sooo sorry that your parents are acting this way towards you as if just because ur hair has changed so has the person inside. if i was you i would just keep on these hair care forms, keep watching inspirational natural hair videos on youtube and keep rocking that natural hair the best way that you can. because sooner or later you hair is going to be banging and then they are deff going to change their tunes.
ur very pretty luv and i hate to say it but your parents are simply just brain washed like the rest of America that the European way is the only way. me and my cuzzin keep saying that if we take our natural hair to Africa we wont hear jack on the negative side about our hair since they have different standers of what is beauty.

I'm sorry about your parents' negativity... I'm dealing with the same thing. Constant comments and questions about what I'm going to do with my hair, how pretty I was before the BC, how I used to have "good hair"

It's tough but take it with a grain of salt. You're beautiful, and if you feel beautiful and confident, that's all that matters.

Not everyone's gonna love it, it's just unfortunate that it hits so close to home.

You sound like you got it going on girlie!! I hate to hear that your parents are not being supportive. Keep doing you b/c you are certainly putting yourself in a position to continue making great strides in life. Your parents will hate that they even wasted the time to be so ugly to you when they realize their beautiful little girl has grown into an even more beautiful woman.

That is a lot to take on Tink but keep your head up you are on the right track keep getting good grades and dont wavier.... I remember when I cut my hair my mom was like what are you gonna do now she is my biggest critic and always had something to say but when she saw my styles and how I WORK IT she is like go head girl and now she is giving me my props... it was a hard battle at first but we all made it through... no matter how hard your parents are going on you they love you long hair or short... I am a firm believer that parents do what they know and or are taught, you just keep doing what works for you cause in the end its your life and your gonna have to make the choices that works best for you.

SN: so what events do you run on the track??? I was a hurdler/ sprinter!! DSU 2002 MEAC indoor champs

BEST WISHES!!! Oh yeah you can get plenty of support from other naturals on here!!

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you.

I love to see a beautiful face with short hair. You look gorgeous and your features stand out so nicely with that cut.

And lets be glad that the next generation will hear lots less of this type of attitude because of the stand that we are taking. I tell my little girl everyday that I love her and her gorgeous curly hair. Just the way God made her.

iculukin wrote:That is a lot to take on Tink but keep your head up you are on the right track keep getting good grades and dont wavier.... I remember when I cut my hair my mom was like what are you gonna do now she is my biggest critic and always had something to say but when she saw my styles and how I WORK IT she is like go head girl and now she is giving me my props... it was a hard battle at first but we all made it through... no matter how hard your parents are going on you they love you long hair or short... I am a firm believer that parents do what they know and or are taught, you just keep doing what works for you cause in the end its your life and your gonna have to make the choices that works best for you.

SN: so what events do you run on the track??? I was a hurdler/ sprinter!! DSU 2002 MEAC indoor champs

BEST WISHES!!! Oh yeah you can get plenty of support from other naturals on here!!

I Run the 400 , 200, 4x4, 4x1 Gotta love it! And thank you so much for your comments!

Thank you everyone for your comments! I am feeling much better about it! Sometimes I let peoples words get to me, but I know when I always come to this community for support, it never fails me I Love my natural hair, and nothing or no one will ever change that! I just gotta keep my head straight, and live my life the way I want to! You are all such a great motivation and I am so happy that I have all you great naturals to look up to!