HELP!!! 10 year confused natural!!!

I have been natural for 10 years this month, 8 out of those 10 years I had dreadlocks which I cut off 2 years ago this month. Immediately after doing so I got sew-ins, after sew-ins, after sew-ins. BIG MISTAKE!!! I wish I would have known what I know now then. I was so afraid of rocking a TWA and you would think it would have been a piece a cake for me since I had dreads. To make matters worse I would take the sew-in out today...wash my hair...use no conditioner...no oils...nothing at all. Just shampoo and get another full head of curly/big hair sew-in with just a little section of my hair out in the front to gel down in a push back style. As a result of that I noticed that I was losing my edges when was the same reason why I cut my dreads off to begin with. The final straw was when I went and paid $150 for a sew-in that was SOOO TIGHT that it left in indentation. Ya'll don't want to know how miserable I was after that sew-in. The sew-ins also thinned out my hair since I did it for about 16 months straight (got twist for 3 1/2 months). So my question to anyone who has some advice is what can I do and use to grow my thin edges and also grow my hair. Even before my first perm I never had thin hair so naturally I know that my hair is not suppose to be the way it is now, eventually with tender love and care and I mean lots of it I can get my hair to where it needs to be. I'm in need of your help Ladies although I had dreads I never paid attention and never researched on taking care of natural hair I was washing with sulfates, using products with petrolaum and mineral oil...you name it I was using it. For the past two weeks since my last sew-in I've realized that there is so much I can do (thanks to youtube & CurlyNikki) and so I am getting to know my hair. The styles, the many different textures that we have are gorgeous!!! Women with natural hair can style and do their hair just and beautiful as the women with a relaxer can. Please send me your suggestions and advice, I don't even really have a hair care regimen...confused about whether I am suppose to pre-poo, then wash, then condition, then deep condition or pre-poo, co-wash, then condition, then deep condition...did I get that right. There is just so much going on...too much protein is not good for the hair...I don't even know if my hair needs protein or not. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Products I am currently using:

Ebene Moisturizing Shampoo
Ebene Shea Butter Hair and Scalp Conditioner
Kinky Curly Knot Today
Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Coconut oil
Jojaba oil
Castor oil
Shea Butter (100%)

I feel like a product junky already :-)!!!

Hmm. You need to try a few things at a time and see what works best for you. Don't automatically grab someone else's routine because what works for one doesn't always work for all.

I think a good set of conditioners is your first step. (That's just my opinion.) Conditioners will provide a lot of moisture for your hair, as well as assist with detangling hair. Check out the Products subforum for suggestions on good conditioners.

Oils/Butters will help to seal in the moisture, so you should research and decide on a couple of those. A lot of folks like coconut oil and olive oil, but there are others as well. I use Grapeseed Oil and Sweet Almond Oil.

Some conditioners can perform double duty as stylers as well, saving you some money on that end. Of course, you may always want to have a gel of some kind to assist with hold. Some of us like IC Fantasia Gel, others Eco Styler Gel, and still others plain old Aloe Vera Gel. There are several out there and only you will know what works for you.

Don't go crazy with a ton of products or you'll still be sorting through them under your bathroom sink like the rest of us...years later. LOL

Hope some of that helps.

Free2Be...thanks for the advice!!!

O.k ....so basically i was in the same boat as u with my edges, i learned the hard way. My edges were completely gone and i could not wear certain styles for a while. Like you, i got sew-ins that took my edges out and by the time i realized what was going on , my edges was a total mess.

So, what i did, is to take control. First thing i did was to Stop get Sew-ins. absolutely No more. Second thing.. is not to let anyone put their hands in my hair and then i researched what would help my edges . So, for two years i put Castor oil mix with peppermint oil on my edges. Nothing touched my edges to caused more damage. No head band, No gel, No braids nothing and it has taken me almost three years to see results.

What i have learned is that once the hair is pulled out from the root it is going to take a while for it to grow back, but it can and will , you just have to take extra care of it.
Now, i wear my hair in a puff without feeling em brass about my edges and i still take extra care with them.

So basically, oil your edges (Castor oil and peppermint). Do not put anything to aggravate them and they will grow. I also used Dr Miracles temple and nape balm but not sure about that.

HTH