Somebody talk me down!

Soooooooo I am african american w/ a diverse heritage (not bi-racial just a diverse fam history and therefore really weird hair) and have had a relaxer in my head since I was 12. I am now 26 and tired of limp unhealthy hair. I am married to a white guy and know that in a few years we will have children. I want to have a healthly body image and sense of self and like many african americans have struggled w/ my hair and wanting it to be something it's not. I want my kids to love themselves! My hubby is totally behind me as he has always loved my curls but he doesn't understand my frustration and why I was almost in tears last night b/c of my frizzies [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] (we were headed to a baseball game w/ his boss). A few mos ago I decided to stretch in btw my relaxers I usually go every 3-4 mos. I am now at 5 really almost 6 mos and am experiencing some frustrations. I went and got an express brazilian conditioner about 7 weeks ago and it worked really well. The only thing it is it seems more limiting than a relaxer b/c I can't use a lot of products and can't wash my hair that often. Basically it seems I can only wear my hair straight and I cannot wear curls. That's two steps back! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] W/ my relaxer I could wash and go by simply using a leave in conditioner and scrunching. I tried this this weekend b/c my new growth is showing and it DID NOT work. It just feels dry and straw like and frizzy where my new growth is. Any suggestions? Oh yeah.... and I should go ahead and admit now that I cannot braid or style [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]. I realize that's something I probably need to learn! I really want to go natural but am not willing to BC. What products are you guys using? Can you use henna on partially natural/relaxed hair? although tha might be a bit much for someone who can't even braid.... Does anyone know or is multi-racial and can tell me what they are using? I am thinking I need a leave in conditioner, and some type of gel/cream to fight humidity (it is july in fl). I am dying for Nikki's beautiful curls but fear I will be back in the chair for a relaxer soooooooooooon!

I am a current transitioner (6 months) and can only offer what little advice I have. 1. calm down. I understand how you feel. It is alot of anxiety. More than what you need, so breathe. I got the Brazilian Kereatin treatment last year and it lasted for about 3-4 months. That is the purpose I got it so I did not have to perm so often. But Hey you want to be natural so today is the day to start thinking natural. 2. love your curls, whatever they may be. 3. Fire your current stylist and research some natural stylist in your area. MOisturize your hair, it doesn't matter what you are natural or relaxed. Since you have done the Keratin , it is best you stay away from sulfates. My recommendation to you so you do not drive yourself nuts is braids, for now. not too small or tight. Just keep them in for a month, do some more research and see where that has you feeling after that. Take it slow and keep it simple. Trader Joes has some affordable natural shampoo,conditioners and leave ins. As well as Whole Foods with giovanni products (nice leave in) and Aubrey Organics has a nice Honey Suckle some use as a deep condtioner. Flexi rods and perm rods are out friends. Good Luck.

I just wanted to ssay you need to slop some cocnut oil on your new growth. I am 8 months since my last relaxer and I just realize d that putting a lot of oil like coconut or olive makes your hair less frizzy and easier to blow dry if you need it and easier to comb.

Give that a try,

thanks! I just went around to diff stores to find nikki's products and will try coconut oil

You can use henna on permed/transitioning hair. If you use BAQ henna it will strengthen both textures and reduce tangles, breakage etc...

Ask me anything you want about henna. I'm happy to answer any questions!

OK thanks Krissy-
will it turn my hair red? I like my black hair...
is it really that hard to do?
is it something professional hair care people do?

Henna (really the lawsome molecule really) is a red substance that will die your hair. Because your hair is black you won't see a difference until you go out in the sun where your hair will have a sexy red sheen. The same lawsome molecule that gives it the red color or sheen in your case is the same thing that coats your strands and make them thicker and softer and all that good stuff.

My hair was brownish black before I decided to henna and it went from coppery red (first day; if you mix it with an acid it will darken) to auburn to black with a reddish tint (I mixed other herbs with the henna to make my hair darker). It will NOT turn your hair red unless you bleach it prior to applying the henna. CN describes the color of henna kinda like coloring with a red crayon over black paper; not super dramatic if you have black hair but noticeable in the light


Henna isn't particularly hard to do if you mean you need to have a real precise technique to get it right. As long as you use pure Body Art Quality Henna (BAQ) and you get yourself knowledgeable about the process you should be fine. More than anything henna is a time consuming process. There's the learning about it, the application, the wait time and the wash time. Having said that, the results are soo worth it and once you set the foundation of knowledge everything else comes easier and quicker.

It takes me 20-30 min to apply the henna. I leave it on overnight but 4 hours with heat is effective too. Washing it out is my least favorite part. I have no clue how much time it takes but it takes a lot of shampooing to wash all the henna out.


Henna is really popular in the east but basically everyone here (the US in particular) either has no clue about it or is misinformed. I know some natural salons have people that will apply the henna for you. It's all a matter of personal preference though. I personally hate salons so I can't be of much help there.


www.hennaforhair.com/ <----- a really good link. There's an e-book that can help you with everything you could possibly want/need to know about henna

Feel free to ask any other questions! I'm happy to help