Family and Friends Reaction to Your Hair

I think I'll go to a hairdresser for the big cut, I can manage trims on my own but not certain about cutting it all down successfully and I'll probably take my s.o. along with me for support.

I'm west indian too! Trinidad & Tobago, I'm excited to see a few curly West Indians around

My cuz who has been natural for over a year was very encouraging - she gave me so many YT vids, gave me CurlyNikki's blog...so I never transitioned. LOL - I grabbed my younger sister to find a spot to cut all the relaxed hair off. I went to a barber shop and it was basically a caesar. I sent pics to some girls at work and I know they were like [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
but noone said anything. My 8 year old son was thinking it was cool, I think mainly bc I looked like him - LOL (he even wanted a twa also - that wasnt going to happen for him).
My Uncle who is like my father seemed skeptical when I told him what I did - but when he saw it, it was very supportive, as well as my aunt.
Overall I think folks knew that I dont care what they say - so their opinion wasnt going to be listened to [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

The day after my big chop, I just showed up at my mom's front door and she thought she was dreaming! I've never seen my mom's eyes get so big in my life. She knew I'd been considering going natural, but she didn't think I'd actually go to the extreme of chopping my hair off. At first, my mom couldn't even look me in the face. She wasn't upset, but she was in complete shock. She said, "all your beautiful hair is gone! It's sooo short, why did you do this???" It's like she wanted to cry:) So I explained my reasons why and as we started talking some more, she started to give me advice on how to manage my hair. She started to reminisce on her natural days, and then she made the comment, "you really remind me of myself when my hair was that length. It looks good on you." My dad had the same initial reaction, but within a few minutes, he was loving it, too! My natural friends supported me no matter what. My students were in complete shock, but they all have come to accept my hair and accept my decision to wear my hair this way.

I guess the most difficult part for the individual is making such a huge decision like the big chop and going through with it. You face the acceptance or rejection of others, but eventually acceptance will come. However, it starts with accepting yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. Displaying confidence and fierceness is very contagious to those around you. You have to feel like you are the most fabulous woman in the room, and everyone else will agree with you and treat you as such. You have to accept that fact that your black IS beautiful.

luckily I come from a family where natural hair is the norm...relaxing is sort of frowned upon. However, while most people in my family are natural, they either have locks (like my nana), use wigs, or get braids by the africans. I'm different because I never had the africans braid my hair, get wigs, or had locks, but my mom always braided my hair in box braids. When I wanted it out to see what my hair looked like out she told me it would all fall out (lol I guess she didnt want me playing in my hair) Now that I don't have my hair in braids all the time my mom still swears that all my hair will fall out, my nana loves my curls and my dad uses my hair as a model for my little sister telling her that I had pretty curls, so she should love her curls too (she wants a relaxer so bad!) My friends really like it, and have noted my little obsession with understanding hair, and my boyfriend loves my hair; when I lost my mind and almost relaxed it he's the one who talked some sense into me keeping my hair the way it is (didn't think he cared or understood my frustration since he's hispanic with the "accepted" hair) and now he's wearing his hair curly as well instead of shaving it all off because of my interest in curly hair now [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Although I do get the occassional from people I know "Oh your hair is mad nice, you should straighten it."

I have seen my dad for the 1st since my cut last night. He said look at you with no hair...it will grow back soon right? hahahahahahahaaaaaa

You would think it would be easy since I've been natural most of my life but its been quite a battle. Only my natural friends support me. Considering that most of my family has curly hair, I thought they would have been great supporters in me actually wearing my hair curly as opposed to straightened they are actually people I fight with the most. Most of them have 2a-3a hair and constantly tell me I look like a wild child (hence the name) or that I look I came from the jungle. It's gotten pretty bad my mother has snuck in my room at night with a comb and even chased me around the house with a comb. The irony everybody is natural. All of the hate for my hair is coming from other naturals but I think it's because I don't have the silky curly hair, I have thick big hair that grows up and out and not flat. Too make matters worst my SO another person who truly dislikes my hair. If he doesn't have his face turned up at it he playing with it to make it frizzy. He says it takes away from my actual length and that I look I'm trying to be like Kelis minus the wild colors. I've tried educating people to let them know that this is healthier for my hair and that my hair will grow longer (and it has) but people are more concerned with the aesthetic of the hair. I'm actually dreading going to visit my parents for Christmas because I don't want to deal with the criticism. The only think that saves me from the conversation about my hair is reminding everybody that this is the hair the good Lord gave me. Nobody ever wants to go against that.

wild curls raquelle wrote:You would think it would be easy since I've been natural most of my life but its been quite a battle. Only my natural friends support me. Considering that most of my family has curly hair, I thought they would have been great supporters in me actually wearing my hair curly as opposed to straightened they are actually people I fight with the most. Most of them have 2a-3a hair and constantly tell me I look like a wild child (hence the name) or that I look I came from the jungle. It's gotten pretty bad my mother has snuck in my room at night with a comb and even chased me around the house with a comb. The irony everybody is natural. All of the hate for my hair is coming from other naturals but I think it's because I don't have the silky curly hair, I have thick big hair that grows up and out and not flat. Too make matters worst my SO another person who truly dislikes my hair. If he doesn't have his face turned up at it he playing with it to make it frizzy. He says it takes away from my actual length and that I look I'm trying to be like Kelis minus the wild colors. I've tried educating people to let them know that this is healthier for my hair and that my hair will grow longer (and it has) but people are more concerned with the aesthetic of the hair. I'm actually dreading going to visit my parents for Christmas because I don't want to deal with the criticism. The only think that saves me from the conversation about my hair is reminding everybody that this is the hair the good Lord gave me. Nobody ever wants to go against that.

You have such beautiful hair, it's a shame your family can't see it but stand strong! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I agree w/Curly Film chick...your hair is absolutely gorgeous and you got the right mindset when fighting critics!!!!

thanks ladies you all have hair to envy in my opinion. i think these people are just mad because we are taking their shine.

dajewel,

Gracias! I definitely dig your name, too =)

Honestly, hair was not something I grew up paying much attention to. But, growing up, I do know that natural hair was not seen as anything negative. A lot of GIRLS wore their natural hair. Older girls and women often had relaxers (or texturizers), braids and weaves, but natural hair was not looked down on. In the schools I went to, we were required to have our hair braided all the time. If your hair wasn't braided, you were considered untidy. Braids and weaves were a no-no. There were schools where girls had to wear their hair short.
But, I do think the West has a major impact on perception of beauty in Nigeria now. Many (NOT all) women want to look like American and European women and try to imitate their looks--Beyonce is one big celebrity a lot of girls/women aspire to look like.

hmmm, very interesting, Nijewel!!! very interesting...

@ loveself...your hair is gorgeous! =) def better than barbie doll texture!

@loveself i hate going to the gym so don't workout often....dance classes motivate me though so I try to take at least 2 a week...

i havent tried the bantu knot out yet (takes so long to dry!) maybe one of these days....

@NiJewel - you are absolutely gorgeous!!

My mother cried when I did my BC. My relaxed hair was BSL and she didn't understand why I would cut "all that good hair off". That was last October and now I think she is more opposed to me having short hair than natural hair. MY siblings have been nothing but supportive in fact I would like to think I inspired my youngest sis to go natural lol. I have 3c hair and I love my lil ringlets. My closest friends have been natural for years so I finally "fit in" lol. My white grandfather *who is 90 woot woot* tells me I should've never but that "lye crap" in my head to begin with. Overall I have had do much support in my journey back to natural hair. Alrhough my mom hasn't been the most encouraging she has never called me beautiful as much as she does now.

When I did the BC (I cut it off myself) and stepped out of the bathroom, my brother laughed! Months later, I asked my Dad and brother their opinion of my hair, and they said they like it straight. I don't ask them their opinion anymore! It kind of sucks, and for a few days afterward I hid my hair in twists, too afraid to wear it out big.

My mother hasn't been able to seen my hair yet (she's out of state) but I'm pretty sure she won't like it either.

It sucks that I don't have their support, but I just have to remind myself why I love my hair and continue to love it.

Oh, but my friends love it! They're all white, and all the while I've known them my hair's been relaxed, so they're surprised by how curly it is. So at least I got their support.

I asked my dad what he thought about my hair last week and he quickly diverted his answer and asked how I felt about it...of course I told him I loved it...he never did answer my question.

My mom is always trying to get me to put some "grease" in my hair or my daughter's hair (she wants the shine). It's hard for me to explain that I do use "oil" in our hair but 1. my daughter is always trying to flip on her head and 2. my hair will not shine as bright as it did when I straightened it. She doesn't say too much negative or positive.

My husband just did not want me to look like a boy and always tells me if a style is cute. He thinks I spend a LOT of time on the internet researching though.

My brother wanted to know what being natural meant (he's 18 and is more interested in cars and girls) so I don't expect more feedback from him.

My co-workers are mixed. We have quite a few naturals at my job so they were supportive in the beginning when I slapped some gel in my hair thinking that was all I needed and now some even ask me how I do certain styles.

I get the most compliments from my white co- workers and most black ones don't say much, but..."it's growing"...and I'm like "yeah". I can't wait until it gets BIG, I'm going to sit in front of every training and meeting session we have,lol.

Strangers usually say they like it, but I have noticed that men don't look interested any more. Sure my husband loves that

Saw my mom today....she begged to straighten my hair....then proceeded to complain about how "flat" her hair is and it won't hold curls after she presses it.


Well, DUH!!!!!!

awesome review, curlynikki!!! i wish we had a trader joe's here...

Some of my family members were in shock when I first went natural, some were cool with it. My boyfriend at the time loved it. I heard comments from random men like, "Who do you think you are Erykah Badu?" So, I received mixed reactions from people.

It shocked my dad way more than I expected and he was so concerned about me. He said he thought I had been traumatized by something. My mom on the other hand was okay with it. My sisters always made fun of me and said I would be fired from work. My peers said to go and straighten it because I looked like a small child. So I put in weave for months on end to hide my natural hair. It allowed my hair to grow but I hated weave. It just didn't feel natural. When I met my DH, he said he didn't like weaves, wigs, etc and would prefer my natural hair and showered me with compliments when I stopped using them. Now, my mother, sisters and most of my peers are natural. I guess I got the last laugh [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]