Do girls with "good hair" have it easier?

The other day I was thinking about this in reference to going natural. In the black community sometimes thinks "good hair" = naturally curly hair and anyone without that has bad hair. I completely disagree with that because the whole reason I started perming my hair was because I hated my curls and thought I had "bad hair". When I stopped relaxing I realized that hair is only as good as you treat it and the whole good hair/ bad hair thing is ridiculous.

I saw this article http://bglhonline.com/2010/04/your-photos-your-thoughts-its-offensive-to-diminish-the-natural-journey-of-curly-haired-women/#comments and it got me thinking: Do you think that girls with more curl to their hair have it easier thus making their transition not as important as others?
Has anyone ever experienced this?

I saw this post on BGLH as well. I wouldn't say that girls with curlier hair have it easier, I think people's perception or opinion is that they have it easier. However, I do think that curlier hair is more accepted in society as opposed to kinky hair. Now as far as transitioning and figuring their hair out, I think its all the same struggle.

Here is my opinion. Society does not like change. Society likes what it is used to. And society is more used to curly hair than kinky hair. It is seen on the heads of women of other races. It is also seen on the heads of black women with curly wear who have worn their hair natural since birth. Therefore, a head of curly hair would likely be more accepted into society than one with a head of kinky hair. I think to ignore this fact would be unrealistic. Just as unrealistic as saying there is no difference in the treatment of light skinned vs dark skinned blacks.

However, this does not negate the person with curly hair's natural journey. That is because at the end of the day it is about yourself. It's about what you think, not society. It is always easy to say that the grass is greener on the other side. There are girls with curly hair that wish their hair could be in a well put fro. And there are girls with kinky hair that make unrealistic attempts to create a "curl". And we all know that each hair type comes with it's own set of issues. I speak on the other side. I am a 4b. And there are days when I wish my wash and go was a simple task. There are days when I look at people with curlier hair and wish that my hair could do that. But that is MY issue. No one else's. That does not cause me to look any differently at the girl with curly hair.

Now I must do a small insert. Earlier I said there are lots of curly haired black women who have worn their hair that way since birth. I think it's because a head of kinky hair was more likely to be relaxed than a curlier head (for various reasons, although both happen). Many of these women DONT identify themselves as naturals. I have actually had a personal negative experience with one of them in regards to my hair. So, I think that some people who base their opinion off personal experience could very well come to such a conclusion that they have it easier, if that is how these women present themselves. BUT, let me say that this usually applies to from birth naturals. In addition, I think it unfair to make such generalizations based off an experience or two.

Naturals that have gone through a transition, regardless of hair type, have similar journeys. Many of us have never seen our natural hair and don't know how it will turn out. Therefore, it is just as hard for someone with curly hair to "learn" their new hair as it is for someone with "kinky" hair to learn their new hair. I don't think anyone goes down the natural path because they have a certain hair type. It is because they want to be free of caustic chemicals. It is because they want to honor their Creator by wearing the hair that He gave them.

I think the main issue is self esteem and self acceptance. These are things that I think ALL naturals, regardless of hair type, are on a path to heighten and discover. We as a people must stop wallowing in self hatred, and attempting to form classes based on skin color and hair type. Black comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, curls, kinks, you name it. And black is beautiful.

I think your question has some validity. It maybe a location thing though. There was a lady who transferred from San Antonio to our Houston office. She had the good wash and wear "wet look" hair and NO ONE said anything negative about her hair. However, there was another lady with much coarser textured hair who wore an TWA. There seemed to be an undercurrent discussion as to why she would not do anything to her hair. Though there were times when the TWA was flatter on one side than the other (it appeared to be uncombed/fluffed), I never thought it was unprofessional.

Though I do not place myself in the "good hair" category, I have received the good hair, soft hair, and even a her hair is okay because of the texture comments. It irks me terribly and is one of my pet peeves.

i have mostly 4a with maybe some 3c thrown in there (idk) and when i put conditioner/gel in it, it looks like more like 3c all over with some looser curls at the top and i actually prefer my hair when i dont try to define the curls because i actually really wanted 4a/4b hair (i never got why people get so amped about loosening their curls or go curl definition crazy, but whatever) but ever since i BCd ppl say things like "you got good that good stuff" or "if i had good hair like yours i would stop getting perms too" ...the other day my aunt saw my short hair for the 1st time and was like "you better be glad you got a good grade of hair or you would be up a creek" ...and my mom is transitioning but she told my little sister who has 4b hair "you could never go natural, your hair is too nappy" & i just told her thats not true...

curlsunfurled wrote:I think your question has some validity. It maybe a location thing though.

Not too sure if it's a location thing because I've been in conversations like that. In my homeroom, everyone at my table had relaxers; one girl was late for her next touch-up and someone said it's okay if she doesn't relax for a while because she has good hair and it wouldn't look too bad. I was transitioning at the time and was kind of offended because my kinky roots were out there for the world to see. When I asked her to explain another girl told her to ignore me because I was 'trying to start something'. That same used my transitioning as a reason for my hair looking dry. So, in my personal experience, some people find looser curls more visually appealing as opposed to a short kinky fro, whereas people have no real problem with 4a/b textured hair as long as it's long. -shrug-

I don't think anyone's transition is more important than anyone else's, as it is a personal issue. But I do think that those who are seen as having "good hair" (which is basically any hair type other than type 4) have an easier time in wearing their hair or going natural because of society's perception as kinky hair being undesirable.

For example, I did not experience any of the negative reactions or comments many other naturals with kinky hair have simply because of my hair type. Although it is irritating as all get up, the fact remains that society generally views loosely curled or wavy hair as desirable and kinky hair as "bad". Many naturals also still share that belief as well. I try to educate those who make comments to me about my having "good hair". I explain to them how sef-degrading that term is, what it actually means, and how offensive it is.

one time i was watching Tyra and this lady said we get so caught up in the light skin/dark skin/good hair/bad hair thing because in the times of slavery lighter skin and more loosely curled hair could mean you might be one of the masters children and had a chance at better treatment so it was like a survival thing and that type of thinkin is still going on today where black people especially tend to view lighter skin and 3hair and up as better...i think they might have it easier when it comes to blending the two textures while transitioning, but in no way am i saying that its easier mentally or trying to diminish their transition experience

You know in time hopefully people will come around, as a child and teenager i always was praised for my hair and it actually gave me a extra shyness, and it made me want to hide my hair. i wore headwraps and hats like crazy, i even put extensions in my hair in junior high school so i could hide my hair because it just burned me how people would sometimes make comments about how i got the good breed of hair or stuff like that. i never liked too much attention but i could never really escape it because i was tall and my hair always found a way to show. I started to where headwraps in high school, but my tiny side burns and the back of my hair always showed,lol i always thought my hair was just regular nothing to talk about except the thickness got on my nerves when i tried to braid it,lol

when i grew my locks i fell in love and no longer cared, i still wore my headwraps, and i still do. it bother me sometimes because i am shy and when i use to walk in a room with them out all eyes were on me and people trying to touch my hair(don't touch me without my permission, i felt like i was in grade school again,lol) i had the occassional dumb question about why do i have locks when i have good curly hair, but it was mostly how can i get my locks like yours. i eventually evolved and ended up cutting my locks and slowly started showing it more. there are people in high that have never seen me with my hair out if they didn't see me at prom,lol

i do see where people with more defined curls are consider to have it good (i actually had someone tell me he wanted me to have a baby with him so the kid would get my curls, WTH!!!) and it does make me said because i think women with healthy 4a,b,c whatever you call it hair have some of the most beautiful hair in the world. we just have to drown out (for the lack of a better word)the "Slave Mentally" Out The Way. All That you must be mixed because you got good hair has got to go.

i always make sure i give compliments to women with kinkier texture natural hair because society can be stupid to them and they are beautiful...hopefully the other girls with the bone straight permed hair will realize it doesn't matter what your hair texture is, you're hair was meant to be natural [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

you're right Blonde i think it's offensive too!

http://public.fotki.com/beautywithcurls/