Black guys my age don't like natural hair?

I am 18 and in my last year of HS, now I wont lie and say I've ever experienced anything negative since I always have braids in my hair and it's hardly ever out. I am very very thin, petite and what most people would just call "cute" because I'm short and look young >_< (not bragging xD lmao!) but I am scared that I wont find a black boyfriend or black husband if I wear my hair out no matter how cute someone thinks I am. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

But I was wondering if anyone here has noticed less male attention or whatever when you wear your natural hair out?? I feel like the black guys here in MA always go for girls with straighter hair or "mixed girl hair" anyways, that even the girls with relaxed hair are lucky to get any attention from them. I am not really interested in white, hispanice or the asian guys at school. I don't know how to attract anything other than the guys I play video games with (who are usually white or asian). I don't know styles that black guys like.

I was home schooled for a couple of years, so I haven't been around many people my age for very long actually! I don't know what to expect if I start wearing more 'natural' styles, I think braids are already pretty natural. But honestly I don't like them very much anymore, I think they look great but I've had them soooo long.....I don't know what else to wear for styles.

Hi TutuKia--first I'd say do what makes you happy--don't worry about what guys like--it's about what you like. They'll be attracted to you because you're confident with who you are & know what you want.

There are many ladies on this board with significant others and husbands that adore them having natural hair--so I am sure you will have no problems with a black guy (or any guy) noticing your fabulousness

You mentioned you're in your last year of HS as well, so your social circle will begin to become more diverse (especially if you plan on attending college). You're young--Focus on whatever goals you have for your life, work hard & while you are on your journey the right people will be put in to place who will love you for you!

Sometimes it just where you are that people have a certain mindset. As you said you're about to graduate and especially if you're going to college you're influence will broaden and

I'm in college and I don't feel I get any more or less male attention because of my hair. In the past year I've been getting more attention but I don't think it's because of my hair - just my overall trying to build my confidence and self esteem. Comments I get from guys about my hair is that they are impressed that I take care of it by myself. And they like to play with it and are surprised when they realize how soft it is. One acquaintance I have calls me his "natural haired boo." lol. And once when I was making out with this guy, he couldn't keep his hands out of my hair.

Honestly what it comes down to is having confidence about your hair and people will respond to it. Males will respond to it if that's what you want. When they are not ignorant and jaded they very much appreciate the difference in beauty that a natural girl has and like the fact that she doesn't look like your everyday black girl. That is the vibe that I get from most guys.

And one thing I notice - and I'm not saying it's universal because I'm personally not in a relationship - but most the natural hair gurus out there, CurlyNikki for example - if they aren't married, they are at least in a serious relationship. So I really don't think us natural girls need to worry too much about not being able to get male attention or not being able to find a boyfriend or husband because of our natural hair. Most of the good guys, the guys that you should be going after are the ones that like and prefer natural hair anyway.

Great advice Jonezy. She said all I would advise you in a nutshell.

As your social circle diversifies, so will the opinions of the guys in it. I was very much like yourself in HS: The cute skinny girl with the curly hair. It wasn't until college and meeting my now husband in NY (where the natural scene is HUGE) where I went from being the cute girl to "Wow. Whose's that?"

I agree with Jonezy as well--focus on loving you and fulfilling your goals, dreams, and aspirations. The best time to begin loving someone is when you're the happiest YOU!

Do you Tutukia. You are still young, just as the other ladies have stated, so just learn to be comfortable in your skin and do not worry about others think.

A couple of things I would is the fact that you mentioned young men of other races. Do not rule out anyone that may be interested in you based on race. You never know where your love will come from. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Also, as 30something year old woman and years of being natural and now rocking my TWA after a BC on 2-24 I have started to realize if a man is so superficial to rule out someone based on hair then they are not worth the time of day.

I say this because anything can happen and hair comes and goes. We all need people in our lives who will like (and love) us for our whole selves.

Enjoy your youth....and remember to DO YOU!!!

Everyone has given great advice! Tutukia, I can relate because I did the BC and started my locs in my last year of high school, and I was not confident at all about my hair at the time. To be honest people did try to discourage me ..but when I went off to University it was very very different. As you are exposed to more people you will realize that everyone is very unique and that not all people prefer straight hair.

Do what is best for you!

P.S I noticed that men who are a lot more in tuned with themselves and the world would approach me after going natural.

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http://fromjemwithlove.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-loc-journey.html

Hey Tutukia!!! In my opinion a lot of black guys seem to prefer natural hair to straight hair. The only thing is, you're in high school and everyone isn't confident enough to say what they believe if it's out of the norm. So if all their buddies like girls with weaves, they're not gonna go against the grain because they just want to fit in. But I'm pretty sure there are guys that are attracted to you because you're YOU!!!! Hair is just that - hair! So as long as you love it, it shouldn't matter what other people think.

Also, in my experience, my friends that are black and male totally dig the natural hair! Mostly because they just want to touch it. LOL and you know a lot of people with weaves or relaxers get pissed if someone touches their hair. Therefore, touching hair becomes this personal thing to guys and they like being able to touch your hair without you freaking out (that may not be true for everyone but in my experience that's what I've come to notice )

Basically all I'm saying is what everyone else said. Be confident, be you and be fabulous!!!!! The man that's lucky enough to have you will love ALL of you

I would say that you're selling yourself short if all you're looking at is black men.

And it's hair. Let it ride.

Checkout Kabrinam and Taren916 on youtube. They r both beautiful girls who are natural and maybe they will inspire you for some new looks and also show you how beautiful natural hair is. I'm sure these 2 ladies have guys of all races knocking down their door, not just but of their physical looks but their inner beauty and confidence as well. It sounds cliche but it really is all about confidence in yourself.

PaganWifey wrote:I would say that you're selling yourself short if all you're looking at is black men.

And it's hair. Let it ride.

Agree 100%!. You are spot on with your post.

Well I'm 30 and my little brother is 17, it was him that convinced me to go Natural.

In fact, he and his friends really only date Black women with natural hair, or at least they have braids. I'm so happy that my brother that is studying to be a Doctor (only 17, still in HS and already has his AA) has a love for Black women and their hair. So there are men out there but I feel yah gurl.

But there are other races that love us and our hair. I have gotten compliments from the Spanish (from Spain), Ethiopian, and Armenian men. I'm a traveler (well as much as i can being a single mom), I;m plus sized and I got natural hair. For years I thought that no Black man would have me but that's far from true. I love my Black men, my son's father is from Africa, but I will date other races too. You are just starting out, be patient, the attention that your inner beauty has will shine through and the men will be drawn to you, your inner and outer beauty, just give it time.

I have the same issue, but the only difference is that I DON'T CARE!!! lol lol

I moved to the South, and down here if you're hair aint straight, then something wrong with me.

But, as I get accustomed to experiencing with my "new found hairs", I'm bring new flavor to the South...the men LEARN to appreciate it cause its different. While the women, just don't understand....maybe cause that's how they have been brought up.

But, in the end, I just pat my fro, throw my shades on, and be myself....lol lol

Tell me about it. I'm from Mississippi (Port Gipson) and they are so behind the times, like taking a time machine back to the 1930's. As humid as it gets down there they do whatever is possible to keep their hair straight, well not this Creole Blood Sistah.

They looking for No Lye and I;m looking for my Shea Butter, lol.

makeupvixen wrote:Tell me about it. I'm from Mississippi (Port Gipson) and they are so behind the times, like taking a time machine back to the 1930's. As humid as it gets down there they do whatever is possible to keep their hair straight, well not this Creole Blood Sistah.

They looking for No Lye and I;m looking for my Shea Butter, lol.

**waving** I live in the Jackson Metro Area.

Lynnieluve wrote:

makeupvixen wrote:Tell me about it. I'm from Mississippi (Port Gipson) and they are so behind the times, like taking a time machine back to the 1930's. As humid as it gets down there they do whatever is possible to keep their hair straight, well not this Creole Blood Sistah.

They looking for No Lye and I;m looking for my Shea Butter, lol.

**waving** I live in the Jackson Metro Area.

Hey, lol.

Sylkifine wrote:I have the same issue, but the only difference is that I DON'T CARE!!! lol lol

I moved to the South, and down here if you're hair aint straight, then something wrong with me.

But, as I get accustomed to experiencing with my "new found hairs", I'm bring new flavor to the South...the men LEARN to appreciate it cause its different. While the women, just don't understand....maybe cause that's how they have been brought up.

But, in the end, I just pat my fro, throw my shades on, and be myself....lol lol

Has this been your experience in DC, which I see is listed as your location? I sure hope not. I would like to think the DC Metro area is a little more progressive but I guess it's all relative anyhow.

Please consider joining other CN.com curlies at the DC meetup on 4/3. Check out the details on this site in the meet-up forum. It should be interesting to hear everyone's perspective on this who also are in the area.

I also wanted to add that black guys in general weren't feeling me at all. I was too mouthy, I wore braids and I was unbeweaveable, relaxer and it wasn't straight enough, I was too big, so smart that I thought I was better than them blah blah blah.

White boys were digging my shape, my attitude and my curves. My husband is white and ya know what? He's my soulmate. Man would go to the ends of the earth to get me a flower if I said I needed it. I don't think I'm missing out on any thing.

Well girl I'm 18 so I'm gonna let you know guy YOUR age are into natural hair. Just make sure you take care of it and guys really dont care. My best guy friend is all about light skin and straight hair girls. When he sees me with my hair now he finds it attractive. I know cuz if he didn't he would tell me. We just have that kind of relationship. So you can always change a guy's mind with good hair care and confidance.

Well actually I relocated to Louisiana, and this is where I have been experiencing this....in DC though, THEY LOVE IT!!!

I would love to come to the meet-up, but I don't think I'll be in town until the end of that week...... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I am one of the handful of natural girls at my HBCU that is full straight hair, weavalious, "dang I need a perm" girls. When I first began wearing my hair out a few guys would ask when I was gonna wear it straight but I believe that was only because they were use to my relaxed look. My last guy I seriously talked to hate hate hated my hair in it's natural state. Did it make me instantly straighten my hair? NOOOOOO! Don't let the opinions of other stop you from doing what you want because at the end of the day YOU HAVE TO LOVE IT. When I meet someone new one of my first questions to them is what they think about my hair, and mostly all have loved it. I've worn my hair straight maybe twice this year and one of my best guy friends threatens to hurt me if I don't "make it big" again My hair is an attention grabber, beautiful, healthy and growing. A great guy, who loves your hair will find you, trust!