Some Encouragement

okay guys so I am in need of some guidance and help. I have recently started to regret my big chop. I did the big chop October 27th 2009 and I was almost completely bald like I had a serious fade. After that I hid under hats and scarves for about a month until my hair started to grow out. I have worn it out over the past five months not using a real regimen that I could stick to. Some days I like it and some days I just feel like a boy and like I wish I had my hair back. It has been almost five months and I feel my hair isn't really growing or it hasn't grown as much as i think it should have. Like im watching all these hair journey's and comparing their growth to mine and I think its getting me down. I'm not thinking about relaxing or anything and I know I'm gonna stick it out because its already cut but some days I just feel sad about my hair. I know I'm kinda rambling but I just wanted to express myself in hopes of some encouragement.

Don't beat yourself up! Judging by that very cute avatar you don't look boyish at all! I know how you feel about wanting growth and the first step to getting it is to get yourself on a regimen quick fast and in a hurry! Basic regimens call for shampooing/co-washing, deep conditioning, moisturizing and sealing! As you get a handle on that you can add oil treatments and other special hair treatments, such as henna. Let us know what you're doing thus far so we can help put you on that path to healthy hair growth!

First off, from your avatar you look GREAT! We are our own worse critics!

You can't compare your hair growth to others, each person hair grows at different rates. There are also sooooo many things that contribute to hair growth, its hard to nail it down to one thing. You, me, and everyone else on this site is constantly learning about our hair, what it likes and what it dislikes so don't let it get you down.

Another thing I can suggest is instead of just looking at other ladies growth, look at their styles and routines. Try out different things and see how you feel about the different styles and products. You may find a style that has you looking in the mirror like DANG... I'm hot! Once you do you will stop hiding under that hat!

Hope you find something soon. We're all here for you!

Thanks so much for your response CocaColaCutie, so far the only thing I'm doing with my hair is co-washing almost every day if not every single day then i put some shea butter and some coconut oil in. I shampoo kinda whenever I feel like I need to and lately it has been often. And some other styling products such as kinky curly curling custard which i must say I don't really like because it leaves a sticky residue. But thats about it every time I come up with a regimen I don't like it and I don't stick to it. So Im like super lost I know I need a regimen I just don't even know where to start.

Dricka wrote:First off, from your avatar you look GREAT! We are our own worse critics!

You can't compare your hair growth to others, each person hair grows at different rates. There are also sooooo many things that contribute to hair growth, its hard to nail it down to one thing. You, me, and everyone else on this site is constantly learning about our hair, what it likes and what it dislikes so don't let it get you down.

Another thing I can suggest is instead of just looking at other ladies growth, look at their styles and routines. Try out different things and see how you feel about the different styles and products. You may find a style that has you looking in the mirror like DANG... I'm hot! Once you do you will stop hiding under that hat!

Hope you find something soon. We're all here for you!

Thanks Dricka! This site and you all are my biggest support. I wish I could do different protective styles such as twists and braids so i could just leave it alone for a while but my hair is just too short to do anything and leave it in as a style. I did little mini twists a couple of times but dont leave them in for more than a day because I untwist and wear as a twist out. I do a wash n go but have to put some product in because my hair just turns into frizz with no curl definition. I'm just kind of over this TWA phase that I'm stuck with.

You look absolutely beautiful in the avatar so I can't imagine that you aren't just as gorgeous in person!! If co-washing daily works for now, keep doing that until you have enough length to do styles where you can just leave it alone for a week. Until then, rock the fro, the hats, the scarves and even some half wigs if you so desire!!! Just be that fierce woman I know that you are

missmoriahiscurly wrote:Thanks so much for your response CocaColaCutie, so far the only thing I'm doing with my hair is co-washing almost every day if not every single day then i put some shea butter and some coconut oil in. I shampoo kinda whenever I feel like I need to and lately it has been often. And some other styling products such as kinky curly curling custard which i must say I don't really like because it leaves a sticky residue. But thats about it every time I come up with a regimen I don't like it and I don't stick to it. So Im like super lost I know I need a regimen I just don't even know where to start.

Well it sounds like you are on the right track. Co-Washing and using Shea Butter and Coconut Oil are good starts. You don't have to quit the regimen completely, you just have to tweak it to your liking. For example if your hair is feeling dry, try switching conditioners or varying the amount you use. Other than Kinky Curly have you experimented with any other curl defining gels? I know a lot of ladies like Eco Styler and IC Fantasia.

My hair doesn't really feel dry I just feel like I have not had as much growth as others within the five months I've been natural. And yes I have tried other curl defining products but i just don't like the stiff feeling that gels give or the stickiness of the KCCC. I'm going to try co-washing only once a week and cut my shampooing to only once every two weeks. I guess on the days that I co-wash I will also do a deep conditioner or some sort. Should I throw styling products completely out the window? I really feel lost.

I think styling products are necessary. It's the COMBINATION of products that will give you the right results. Like if you leave conditioner in your hair and then put a little bit of gel for a wash n' go, it shouldn't dry hard or crunchy. But it's the products (at least for me) that cut down on frizz and allow my curls to stay curls instead of just turning into an afro every day

well ur rocking that TWA, u look beautiful! But i know it can be stressful to not see growth. Many women rave abt castor oil and how it helps grow their hair, maybe u should try that!

Yeah I agree it definitely does reduce the frizz a WHOLE LOT and i do like that I just hate the way it makes my hair feel.

CreoleLady88, Thanks girl I'm trying to make it through! lol I have heard about the castor oil and have yet to try it but I dont know where to look.

missmoriahiscurly wrote:CreoleLady88, Thanks girl I'm trying to make it through! lol I have heard about the castor oil and have yet to try it but I dont know where to look.

Well i got mine from Walmart in the laxative section (its used as a laxative in the caribbean) but many ladies buy theres from vitamin shops and online. But Walmart is like my one stop shop, so i try to get everything from there lol!!!

@missmoriah: I totally understand how you feel. It's been four months since I did the BC and a little over a year since my last relaxer, and even I sometimes don't feel like my hair is growing. My biggest desire right now is for all of my hair to fit into a ponytail when curly (it does when it's rollerset) and I swear there's this patch of hair in the front that is determined not to let that happen. In general, I just want my long hair back. But I have to remind myself that if I focus on the health of my hair (inside and out), then not only will it grow, but I'll also be able to retain length (which is most important). So that's just how I try to look at it.

You do have a regimen. It's simple (which I think is awesome) and it sounds like your hair is responding well to what you're doing since it isn't dry. I'm sure your hair is growing. It's just diffcult to tell sometimes with our hair. If you haven't already, try taking pics to chart your growth so you can do a month to month comparison over the next three months at least. Looking through pics is usually when I can see that my hair really has grown.

@traveljunkie08: I'm glad someone can relate. At least you CAN do roller sets and a pony tail. OMG I would love to be able to pull my hair back in a pony. I just feel like my hair is the same everyday. I know that it is growing or HAS grown because I have a pic of when I first BC'd and my pictures now and when I BC'd I was almost completely bald. now I have about and inch and a half and I cant help but think shouldnt I have like two to three maybe even four inches by now? IDK I am setting a regimen and sticking to it from yesterday on. I chose yesterday because I did a small trim. I am trying to make better eating habits for healthier hair and healthier me. I'm trying to hang in there and really take better care over the next few months and see where it gets me. BTW your avatar is so beautiful

Oh honey, I see I am late I hope you feel better by now. You are glowing in your Avatar and the first few months I didn't notice much growth either. I made it my business to take a pic every month and when I look back I can clearly see the difference. Try to be patient and get to know your new found love....your hair! Chin up so everyone can see that beautiful face!!!!

Thanks Sweet! I am okay still kinda down and wishing my hair was longer but with the support of all you lovely ladies I will manage. I will try to take those pics every month just to see if I'm moving forward. thnkx for the encouragement!

missmoriah- I must say that I feel exactly like you sometimes. I'm only 9 months in my transition and when I look at the transitions of others who had a pony tail after 9mos it has sometimes been upsetting! Just today curlynikki features the story of a young lady who had ponytail length hair 6 mos after her big chop. Much like you- my hair was cut into a VERY short fade. That story had me thinking about my own regimen and why my hair isn't that long NINE months later! WTH??

But I also realize that I have had my own season of growth and I will continue to keep working at it. I hope all the encouragement has helped you and let me chime in- you look adorable with your hair. Keep going- it's worth the effort!

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Poeticly you look wonderful!!!!

Thanks sweetdrk- that bc picture is a year ago. I had transitioned for about 5 months and couldn't take it anymore. I thought I looked like a boy in that picture- I was so nervous! My avatar is my hair now, 9months later and I'm quite pleased. Hope it's encouraging for missmoriah!

@Poeticlyspkng: You are very encouraging its nice to know I'm not the only one. And that just because its growing slow doesnt mean its growing. I have attributed my slow growth to my lack of regimen. Hopefully starting the butters n bars challenge will get me on track and on a path to healthy growing hear. BTW you hair has grown a lot. You look great! thanks for your encouraging response.

missmoriahiscurly wrote:@traveljunkie08: I'm glad someone can relate. At least you CAN do roller sets and a pony tail. OMG I would love to be able to pull my hair back in a pony. I just feel like my hair is the same everyday. I know that it is growing or HAS grown because I have a pic of when I first BC'd and my pictures now and when I BC'd I was almost completely bald. now I have about and inch and a half and I cant help but think shouldnt I have like two to three maybe even four inches by now? IDK I am setting a regimen and sticking to it from yesterday on. I chose yesterday because I did a small trim. I am trying to make better eating habits for healthier hair and healthier me. I'm trying to hang in there and really take better care over the next few months and see where it gets me. BTW your avatar is so beautiful

Well remember...you're hair only grows up to a half inch a month...so if you think about it, you are on the right track on growth! What also helps is focusing on healthy hair rather than length..It's hard, but no matter what, your hair will grow!

I guess so I forgot all about that. I was just looking at others growth and never really calculated where i should be at. I guess I'm doing okay. I just need to get a set regimen that works. And now I'm seeing its going to be easier that I thought because I dont like any type of gel or styling product in my hair. I always rinse it out. So i think im gonna just stick to conditioner and oils an on occasion I'll use shea butter.

I agree with the others - from your avatar you carry the TWA well!

Maybe if you get really frustrated with the slow growth you could put in some braids? It would take your mind off it and you could get busy with other things and then experience a wow! it's grown! moment later on. I have longish hair but I notice that if I watch it a lot it just doesn't grow. So I tied my hair up in braids, spritz in the morning and evening to keep moisturized and am surprised when I take them down how much my hair has grown.

You know the saying - a watched pot never boils!