Re: "I don't want to look ethnic"

by Sweet Tee 31st January 2011, 10:19 pm

This thread has made me realize that I am on the right track.

I mean, really, we are who we are-
women of an ethnicity.

If you can't even get with that,
then the natural journey ain't for you.

We have always had to have thick skin
when it comes to being US.

But when you decide to really DO YOU
and quit the creamy crack addiction
you must be comfortable with WHO & WHAT you are.

I mean, you can't give a flyin' flub about
what others think
cuz they aint gonna like it!

But let that foolishness be on them
NOT on YOU.

Ole girl sounds real 'ignant'
goin to a natural salon
with her natural hair
but not wanting to look ETHNIC.

WTF?!?!?!?!?

by Ambitious_Tiff 1st February 2011, 2:26 pm

Sweet Tee wrote:
I mean, really, we are who we are-
women of an ethnicity.

If you can't even get with that,
then the natural journey ain't for you.

We have always had to have thick skin
when it comes to being US.

Very well said. Very well said.

by Duchess52 1st February 2011, 2:35 pm

Sweet Tee wrote:This thread has made me realize that I am on the right track.

I mean, really, we are who we are-
women of an ethnicity.

If you can't even get with that,
then the natural journey ain't for you.

We have always had to have thick skin
when it comes to being US.

But when you decide to really DO YOU
and quit the creamy crack addiction
you must be comfortable with WHO & WHAT you are.

I mean, you can't give a flyin' flub about
what others think
cuz they aint gonna like it!

But let that foolishness be on them
NOT on YOU.

Ole girl sounds real 'ignant'
goin to a natural salon
with her natural hair
but not wanting to look ETHNIC.

WTF?!?!?!?!?

Sweet Tee ....so true!!

by dajewel 1st February 2011, 2:53 pm

JessiWantsCurls wrote:My mom just loooooves to tell people I'm going ethnic. She's not really one that supports a natural transition unless you have the soft, shiny curls. Of course ... my hair is uber course and quite possibly lacking a curl pattern (I'm still transitioning, so time will tell.)

Anyways, we were in her driveway the other talking to one of our neighbors and I guess she felt the need to explain why my head looked the way it did. So, out of nowhere, she's like "Jessica's going ethnic." ... Really mama? I mean really ...

I'm black in America ... believe it or not, I was born "ethnic".

lol am so sorry hun but to me that is hilarious. does anyone else see 'going ethnic' as a possible satire to 'going natural' to further drive the point what going natural means for those of us that have 4 type hair??

by dajewel 1st February 2011, 2:58 pm

Neems wrote:I was just thinking what does ethnic mean? So I turned to trusty Webster's dictionary and found a couple of definitions.

1. : heathen [(a)of or relating to heathens, their religions, or their customs or (b) strange, uncivilized]

2. a : of or relating to large groups of people classed according to common racial, national, tribal, religious, linguistic, or cultural origin or background
b : being a member of a specified ethnic group
c : of, relating to, or characteristic of ethnics

What do you all think about this definition?

is just the white man's definition (white man meaning the brits that colonized half of this world) to explain THEIR reality. their reality isn't my reality, and as such this definition doesn't make me feel any way.

by Madeaj 1st February 2011, 3:04 pm

I have got that too. I usually ask what they mean by ethnic. Put them on the spot and make'em define it. Here is what dictionary.com says:

eth·nic /ˈɛθnɪk/ [eth-nik]
–adjective
1. pertaining to or characteristic of a people, esp. a group (ethnic group) sharing a common and distinctive culture, religion, language, or the like.
2. referring to the origin, classification, characteristics, etc., of such groups.
3. being a member of an ethnic group, esp. of a group that is a minority within a larger society: ethnic Chinese in San Francisco.
4. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of members of such a group.
5. belonging to or deriving from the cultural, racial, religious, or linguistic traditions of a people or country: ethnic dances.
6. Obsolete . pagan; heathen.
-noun
7. a member of an ethnic group.

by dajewel 1st February 2011, 3:07 pm

wyldhoney wrote:Totally off-topic, but anyone who has not yet read 1984 needs to do so immediately. The parallels between the book and what is happening in the world today are quite frightening.

I too, don't want my natural hair look to be associated with something 'ethnic' because to me, that word as it is used today is too often synonymous with 'different', 'unusual', even sometimes 'scary'. But then I snap out of my dream world and think about all the fashion photo shoots of naked black women daubed in body paint and I realise that as a chocolate-skinned women my entire self is different, unusual and scary to some. Why should my hair be different?

Then I get depressed and drink heavily because it's 20-freaking-11 and we are still being objectified because of our skin colour and hair texture.

but what's wrong with looking ethnic and different sometimes? we weren't born to be the same. sometimes i like to look ethnic(but without looking like a tree-hugger)...is a testament of the many ways we can change up our style due to the nature of our natural hair. am sorry but even my ethnic is hot and sexy...on the real!

by LadyMika 1st February 2011, 3:37 pm

dajewel wrote:
JessiWantsCurls wrote:My mom just loooooves to tell people I'm going ethnic. She's not really one that supports a natural transition unless you have the soft, shiny curls. Of course ... my hair is uber course and quite possibly lacking a curl pattern (I'm still transitioning, so time will tell.)

Anyways, we were in her driveway the other talking to one of our neighbors and I guess she felt the need to explain why my head looked the way it did. So, out of nowhere, she's like "Jessica's going ethnic." ... Really mama? I mean really ...

I'm black in America ... believe it or not, I was born "ethnic".

lol am so sorry hun but to me that is hilarious. does anyone else see 'going ethnic' as a possible satire to 'going natural' to further drive the point what going natural means for those of us that have 4 type hair??

I see it as a growing euphemism directed primarily at black people who reject societal standards and aesthetics in exchange for aspects (or even the entirety) of African heritage/culture/aesthetics AS A WHOLE. It's going to be the Politically Correct term, and easier pill for the rest of the world to swallow regardless of what our hair type is.

by Tiffy2 1st February 2011, 3:51 pm

Last year when I went to my hometown (New Orleans) for a birthday get away. my bestie and I decided to stop by my cousin's house who I haven't seen in years. anywho,that was the first time her or her mom had seen my bestie and I with natural hair. so when I went back to her house the next day,she told me "I like your hair,it's soft and curly.but I don't like Connie's hair. whatever you mixed up for your hair you need to mix it up for hers cause she got nigga naps". and she also said her mom said my bestie look like a "gay african"! I was like WTF!!! that really hurt my feelings and pissed me off at the same time. cause I was like,if their talking about her hair what are they REALLY saying about mine?! today,my cousin and her mom are natural and refuse to wear their hair in it's natural state SMDH.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

me and my bestie Connie on my birthday last year

by Umph 1st February 2011, 9:50 pm

Sweet Tee wrote:This thread has made me realize that I am on the right track.

I mean, really, we are who we are-
women of an ethnicity.

If you can't even get with that,
then the natural journey ain't for you.

We have always had to have thick skin
when it comes to being US.

But when you decide to really DO YOU
and quit the creamy crack addiction
you must be comfortable with WHO & WHAT you are.

I mean, you can't give a flyin' flub about
what others think
cuz they aint gonna like it!

But let that foolishness be on them
NOT on YOU.

Ole girl sounds real 'ignant'
goin to a natural salon
with her natural hair
but not wanting to look ETHNIC.

WTF?!?!?!?!?

Well said.

by wyldhoney 2nd February 2011, 6:33 am

dajewel wrote:
wyldhoney wrote:Totally off-topic, but anyone who has not yet read 1984 needs to do so immediately. The parallels between the book and what is happening in the world today are quite frightening.

I too, don't want my natural hair look to be associated with something 'ethnic' because to me, that word as it is used today is too often synonymous with 'different', 'unusual', even sometimes 'scary'. But then I snap out of my dream world and think about all the fashion photo shoots of naked black women daubed in body paint and I realise that as a chocolate-skinned women my entire self is different, unusual and scary to some. Why should my hair be different?

Then I get depressed and drink heavily because it's 20-freaking-11 and we are still being objectified because of our skin colour and hair texture.

but what's wrong with looking ethnic and different sometimes? we weren't born to be the same. sometimes i like to look ethnic(but without looking like a tree-hugger)...is a testament of the many ways we can change up our style due to the nature of our natural hair. am sorry but even my ethnic is hot and sexy...on the real!

DaJewel, I guess what I'm really raging about is the application of an unwanted label. If you decide you want to look 'ethnic' (whatever that means to you) then go ahead and rock that! If you got style and flair you'll probably look foxy, and that's great. But the important part for me is that you get to decide what 'persona' to wear, and people don't decide for you based on the colour of your skin and texture of your hair.

What I don't like is having to be some kind of poster child for OTHER people's definition of ethnic or exotic when all I'm doing is being myself. Suppose I'm rocking a pencil skirt, silk blouse, pearls, and my 5" platform pumps. Would you think that I'm trying to signify ethnic? I doubt it, but I guarantee that if my hair is in a twistout or mini-twists SOMEONE is going to call me 'Ras'. And I know for sure Rastafari women don't wear makeup 2 inches thick, so why the label?

Hair texture & skin colour should be neutral. Black skin & kinky hair should not automatically be 'ethnic' any more than blonde hair and blue eyes should automatically signify 'beautiful'. They have no inherent value or label. Unfortunately in the real world this is untrue, and this is what saddens me.

by JessiWantsCurls 2nd February 2011, 9:49 am

Sweet Tee wrote:This thread has made me realize that I am on the right track.

I mean, really, we are who we are-
women of an ethnicity.

If you can't even get with that,
then the natural journey ain't for you.

We have always had to have thick skin
when it comes to being US.

But when you decide to really DO YOU
and quit the creamy crack addiction
you must be comfortable with WHO & WHAT you are.

I mean, you can't give a flyin' flub about
what others think
cuz they aint gonna like it!

But let that foolishness be on them
NOT on YOU.

Ole girl sounds real 'ignant'
goin to a natural salon
with her natural hair
but not wanting to look ETHNIC.

WTF?!?!?!?!?

Well said!!!

Madeaj wrote: I have got that too. I usually ask what they mean by ethnic. Put them on the spot and make'em define it. Here is what dictionary.com says:

eth·nic /ˈɛθnɪk/ [eth-nik]
–adjective
1. pertaining to or characteristic of a people, esp. a group (ethnic group) sharing a common and distinctive culture, religion, language, or the like.
2. referring to the origin, classification, characteristics, etc., of such groups.
3. being a member of an ethnic group, esp. of a group that is a minority within a larger society: ethnic Chinese in San Francisco.
4. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of members of such a group.
5. belonging to or deriving from the cultural, racial, religious, or linguistic traditions of a people or country: ethnic dances.
6. Obsolete . pagan; heathen.
-noun
7. a member of an ethnic group.

I think 'ethnic' is one of those words where the everyday definition often varies among different people and often deviates from the dictionary's definition. When I use 'ethnic', I'm using it as referenced by #3 in the definition above. I think my mom defines ethnic as anything representing blackness (if that makes any sense) or that deviates from a societal norm. So, to her, anything urban or 'ghetto' is ethnic. For example, when I asked her is she still relaxing her hair since she's been covering it up with braids for the past 2 or 3 years and her response "What am I gonna do? Rock a fro? I don't do ethnic."

LadyMika wrote:
dajewel wrote:
JessiWantsCurls wrote:My mom just loooooves to tell people I'm going ethnic. She's not really one that supports a natural transition unless you have the soft, shiny curls. Of course ... my hair is uber course and quite possibly lacking a curl pattern (I'm still transitioning, so time will tell.)

Anyways, we were in her driveway the other talking to one of our neighbors and I guess she felt the need to explain why my head looked the way it did. So, out of nowhere, she's like "Jessica's going ethnic." ... Really mama? I mean really ...

I'm black in America ... believe it or not, I was born "ethnic".

lol am so sorry hun but to me that is hilarious. does anyone else see 'going ethnic' as a possible satire to 'going natural' to further drive the point what going natural means for those of us that have 4 type hair??

I see it as a growing euphemism directed primarily at black people who reject societal standards and aesthetics in exchange for aspects (or even the entirety) of African heritage/culture/aesthetics AS A WHOLE. It's going to be the Politically Correct term, and easier pill for the rest of the world to swallow regardless of what our hair type is.

Mika, I completely agree with your take on the current use of the word 'ethnic' until you get to the part about hair type. From what I've witnessed, if someone with soft curls or shiny waves goes natural, then they're not termed as 'ethnic'. In fact, they're praised and envied for their 'good hair'. So, I don't think they experience as much ridicule. Not to say they don't have their fair share of issues, I just think they're different issues.

Sheesh ... all these quotes make this post look uber long.

by TheRYL1 2nd February 2011, 12:42 pm

Sister, do not wallow in drink or sadness because of society's insistence on painting us as "them" or "those". Once you embrace all that makes you YOU, what the rest of society thinks/says/feels becomes IRRELEVANT and anything they try to do to make you appear or feel "unacceptable" WILL FAIL. Love every inch of yourself, every kink in your hair, and every year/decade/century/EON that our ancestors ruled. They considered themselves descended from their gods, and therefore PERFECT AS THEY WERE CREATED. WE are descended from these same rulers no matter WHAT society says, and therefore WE are perfect as WE were created as well.

SAY IT, Lady Mika...SAY IT! afro

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