Just so tired of his mess....

Ok well for those who read my last thread a while ago about this situation, i took ya ladeis advice and we are not together anymore and im just doing me focusing on me and my child. But recetly i had deleted my facebook account and today i thought ok, i think ill join back because i miss my friends and family on facebook and talking to them. So i activated my account again and on my wall i see he has been talking about me on facebook. Let me remind you tht my family is on facebook considering the fact that even my mom is on facebook. So im sure she saw what he had written even though she didnt tell me. So he puts single even though he is and i am, thats not the part im mad about. Im mad because his friends and family asked him why and he said because theres bad people in this world. Now let me remind you, the reason we are not together is because he wasnt helping me out physically with our daughter, and not giving me moral support when i needed it. He was being selfish and only focusing on himself and his life. So when i finally got fed up with his mess now im looking like the bad person? WOW!!! My father and my mom even sat down and talked to him and told him to his face that he needs to start doing better and he needs to help out more. My father even sat down with him man to man and told him he needs to get it together. I am just so pissed and i need to vent because this is just to much for me.

In his comment on facebook his sister said no hes not single, so she wants us to work out, and coming from her considering the fact that our relationship wasnt the best im surprised shes ocming at this situation this way anfd actually want to see us together. Hes literally trying to make me look like the bad person because he is embarrassed and upset that my parents dropped the ball in front of his family and to his face that he is not doing what he has to do for me and our daughter. Hes not taking any responsibilty for his actions and thats whats pissing me off the most. Ladies i am just trying to keep my cool and trying to train myself to not let him take me to the level i dont want to go anymore with him. Im trying to stay calm, and find peace with in myself right now, but its hard because im hurting. Im in shock about how he is acting and i want it to stop. Im reading more latelty just to take my mind off of all what is going on and so i can take care of my daughter and grow as w a woman. And as for joining back on facebook, im not anymore. What do u ladies think?

I can understand you being upset and hurt and believe me, I've been there and cried many tears when my oldest daughter's father chose not to participate in her life. However, you cannot make a man be a man. He knows what his responsibilities are and if he chooses not to do them then so be it. You just have to be strong for you and your baby. Many women are doing it solo and it is difficult at times, but you can do it. I know you are hurt and pissed, but you cannot change him. Regardless of how much his sister or anyone else wants you two to work out, if he doesn't want it you just have to face that fact. In time, your heart will heal and you'll be much stronger. I hope it works out well for you and your baby.

Definitely do not feed into his negativity. Stay positive and try to ignore the negative things he has said about you. You've been strong enough to move on and he may be trying to get a reaction out of you by saying all of this bad stuff.

Don't give power to his negative words. They are just that - WORDS. You know the truth and he knows the truth and that is all that matters. Don't worry about "proving" yourself to anyone else. Only expend and invest your energy in things that are doing something positive for either you or your daughter.

If any action does not pass that test, leave it alone.

I know it's easier said than done. Keep your head up and when taking it one day at a time feels too much, take it one hour at a time!!


Sending positive vibes your way!!!

@LaToya, hes still in our daughter life thats not the issue he would never leave her, the issue is just with him maturing and starting to take on that man responsibility for our family. Hes 21 and his father passed a year ago, i understand that, so he doesnt have a male figure in his life to show him how to be a father or a man for his family. I believe all that is messing him up because hes afraid but hes acting out in other ways. But ive been his backbone for a year now and talking to him being strong for him, but now i told him its time for him to be strong for me, his child and himself. Hes hardheaded and dont want to listen. So im going to school stressed out somedays because its hard taking care of a baby and going to college, and he fustrates me that the father is always depressed and is not emotionally capable of helping me and not there for moral support when i need it from him.

idk all i know he has so much maturing to do and so do i and im hoping we both come back together and finally raise our daughter together. We are young but right now im putting everything in Gods hands to heal both of us so we can both grow and be better individuals and parents. Someone has to take a stand and be like enuff is enuff and as women, we always have to be the one but i feel like God is really calling me to let go and let him take control. Thx for all thee advice ladies