Need A Big Sis!

Hi Im super new to this whole idea. All I know is im tired of being mean to my hair and I want to do right by it now. I really need a big sister to help me in my path to natural beauty. Im really overwhelmed and I dont really know where to start.....PLEASE HELP!

Well Id love to help so tell me bout your hair; where are you in your journey, products, regimen etc and we'll get it started from there.

Yay! well my hair....hmmmm Its relaxed my last relaxer was in august. Im really simple with the upkeep mostly because I have nooooo clue what to do so for the most part i wear it in a wrap or a ponytail. But I want to extend my knowledge on what to do with my hair and also on my hair itself. Its kind of discouraging to see that so many people know so much about thier hair and I can think of the first adjective to describe it. Im band new to even touching my hair besides wrapping and unwrapping. Ive learned a few styles here and there but no go to style really.Products I use are Pantene Shampoo and Conditioner (for women of color) and some coconut oil grease......not too big of a list lol I need alotttt of work! Regimen? Ha not so much of one...I know i need alot od discipline and patience. I wash my hair about 1 a week or maybe eveen 1 every 2 weeks then i blow dry and then i grease my scalp and flat iron....I have alot of work ahead of me but i really want to do this...This is what I need to solve all of my hair problems and my personal problems with myself (i.e discipline, structure,wisdom)

Woah I can c alot of no nos right off the bat. The first thing I can do as your big sis (feel so proud typing it ) is to help you build a good regimen. Its really quite simple. I'll list all the different methods you can use and you can pick and choose to build your own regimen.

CLEANSE:
-Pre pooing
that is putting a mixture of oils and conditioner in the hair to thoroughly saturate it with moisture to prepare your hair for the moisture stripping shampoo. Also, during this time finger detangling can be done on the hair. Sometimes I mix regular conditioner with olive oil as my preepoo.

-Shampoo
Have you ever finished shampooing and found yourself with a hard mass of dry hair? Well that's your hairs way of telling you it hates shampoo. Shampoos containing sulphates i.e is most commercial brands will strip the hair of most if not all its essential oils. This is especially bad for curlies who need the extra moisture. However having said this, shampoos do have their place. Due to the ingredients in some of our hair products we may need to shampoo every so often to remove the products and prevent build up on the hair shaft and scalp. I shampoo bi- weekly after pree pooing using the kimmaytube method
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1FQ79FD2VY

-Conditioner
Condition washing, to me, is a godsend for curlies. This is a method of washing the hair using only conditoner (and yes the hair does get clean). By using this method the hair and scalp is able to be cleansed without being stripped. I love Herbal Essences Hello Hydration. It is sooooo moisturising and it detangles my hair like a dream.

MOISTURISE
-Leave in
a good leave in is essential for replacing moisture to the hair after washing. I usually leave a little aussie moist in my hair (and yes I can see your eyes bulging at the thought but wash out conditioners can be left in the hair and for me it is just woman enough to keep the tresses moisturised)

-Moisturiser
WATER WATER WATER!! Need I say more. Water is your BFFFF as a natural. It is the main ingredient in all good moisturisers. I usually dampen my hair when it is dry and apply a leave in and a sealant (which we will talk about later)

-Sealant
After working so hard to moisturise your hair I assume that you will want that moisture to stay put. The key to maintaining moist hair is locking moisture in. Some curlies use light oils like jojoba but I can't get enough of my shea butter. I usually whip it by adding oils like olive and coconut to it to make it lighter and easier to spread on my hair. However, I apply very little to my relaxed ends to prevent them from being weighed down etc as the two textures have very different needs.I also use the raw shea to slick my edges as an alternative to gels.

DEEP TREATING
I don't know quite how to stress the importance of deep treating hair, especially in the transitioning phase to natural. It is one of the best ways to strengthen and moisturise your hair.You can buy many commercial brands but I'm a lil mixtress so I usually start with normal wash out conditioner and add ingredients like olive oil, coconut oil and honey for moisture and egg and mayo for light protein. I normally apply this mixture to small sections of my hair and don a shower cap and leave it in for hours (but it can be left for like an hour or less if heat is used).

So there you have it. If you want any clarification on the mountain of info I have given you feel free to buzz me. Btw don't feel discouraged about not knowing the ins and outs of natural hair your a newbie and you'll get eventually.

P.S
Gurl back away from that grease. Its filled with mineral oils that only clog the scalp and hinder growth. At first I was hesitant to leave the grease so I started using oil on my scalp (olive oil but don't use too much as you'll end up with oily hair) but as time wore on my scalp didn't really need it, as long as my hair stayed moisturised my scalp took care of itself with its natural oils.
Washing the hair once a week is good. I do the same also but listen to your hair and it will tell you if it needs to be washed more or less often.
mizzbrwneyez89 would you ever pass your skin through a flat iron? Then why your hair?! Sorry to be so blunt but the heat will fry your hair. Constantly applying heat to your hair can and will damage the curl pattern in your hair, and hinder growth. There are many other styles on this website that you can try to keep you fly. But having said this, if you must, make sure you use a good heat protectant before blow drying and both flat ironing.

(sorry for the length of this )

Lol the length is fine and the bluntness is what I need. Its a bit overwhelming but a girls got to do what a girls got to do. ahhh im sooo nervous but i should probably get on the ball. Ive just been dragging my feet on actually putting the tips i have found to use...but i guess tonight is a good time Do you have an email address? so that I dont have to keep coming to the thread?

Sure, you can send me an email via my profile anytime. Just click my name, then contact, and press send email.
And I know what you mean bout being overwhelmed. I'm nearly a year in and I'm JUST getting the hang of doing my hair. It takes a while and the journey might be rough but don't give up. There is a wealth of info here to care for any probs you might encounter plus there's me and I love being asked questions cuz I love to talk. So don't feel afraid to ask no matter how small the question may be. Besides it will all be worth it in the end.

I sent u a message a few days ago...were you able to get it? ALSO its my 21st bday today!!!!!!!!!!! so excited

HAPPY BDAY!!!!! Yahh now your legal everywhere Wish you every blessing today.

And what was the message about? Was it the one about your shea deep treatment because if it was I replied to that one. Did you get my response?

Oh man I didn't get it: ( also do u know any good daily moisturizers and andthing good for curls that won't break my bank lol and thank you for the well wishes!

Well it's still in my sent box so here it is:
Hey gurl I'm so proud of you and now your gonna be my big sis as I've decided to do a shea and olive oil DC since you've gotten such great results! As soon as I buy a new tub I'll use up the old one. Anyway to answer your question I too am twisting using a shea and gel mixture leaving them in for the entire week. It keeps my hair moisturised which is good since it's winter. However, I tried taking out the twists today for a twist out with a bun for church but it was frizzy. This was due to the fact that the twists had been in for a week so I'm jealous of you and your results. In the past I have sported a twist n curl or two but the relaxed ends were playing the fool and would hang limply after a day causing me to have to pin them up at the back so I sincerely hope you get better results than me. Also, my go to styles are a ponytail or two. I would either do it after washing and put a scarf on it to create waves or do like I did today and only wet the front apply conditioner, shea and gel then put on the scarf to create the waves.

I have heard many good things about the shea moisture line and it is reasonably priced and easy to find in most BSS. Also, I find that if I leave in some conditioner (esp HEHH) my hair holds up well until the 4th or so day when I rewet it. Also, I've been playing around with my ic fantasia braid spray, as it is only water and some other good ingredients, and jojoba oil to seal as a method of moisturising my hair. I think my hair prefers that method of moisture as opposed to creams etc.

Also, as for curls what exactly is it that your looking for and are you willing to mix it up, do you just want to walk into a store and pick it up, or are you an online gurl?

ummmm i can get down with mixing i can also walk in a store and i do love online...im open to anything...i need encouragement! i find that im getting discouraged about my hair and how well im caring for it..i think im over thinking it and treating it more like a pet or something rather than something thats apart of me...i feel like there needs to be a step by step solution to this whole natural thing and i know that thats not how it is at all...ahhhh help me!

Well a friend of mine used this mixture to moisturize her hair and for her twists:
16 oz shea, 2 oz aloe vera (has a preservative), 4 oz EVCO, 2 tbls jojoba, 2 tbls grapeseed, 2 tbls glycerin, 2 tbls distilled water, and a couple drops peppermint oil as a preservative.

OR you could try some ecocustard:

1 cup eco styler, 1 tbsp EVOO, 1 tbsp EVCO, 1 tbsp AVG

I tend to like to prepare things myself as it's cheaper and I can be certain what the ingredients are.

And let the encouragement begin:
As much as I love my hair, and I do mean love, I allow it to define me way too much. Depending on how it looks can make or break me and that is not healthy. Having said that however, I see nothing wrong in spending time on yourself. The same way people have extra curriculars I have mine, my hair. You spending time on your hair isn't a bad thing on the contrary it may mean that you are finally developing a healthy relationship with your hair, loving and nurturing it as opposed to seeing it as a bad thing needing to be relaxed and put into a certain style.
Also, everyone has their own solution, things they need to work on or overcome, you just need to find yours. I had to stop letting straight hair define me, learn to take care of my hair, and love my hair the way it grew out of my scalp. I'm still working on them but now I ask you what are your problems and maybe together we can find the solutions.
Lastly, I completely understand that you are overwhelmed. It is tough! It took me awhile to get used to my hair and even now it keeps changing on me. With each month comes new challenges and excitements. I just urge you to stick with it. For me I've used this opportunity to really find my self confidence and the 'real' me. So what are your reasons for going natural? Let them motivate you through the trying times and trust me it'll all be worth it in the end. For me it's nearly 11 months and I really cannot tell you how much time has flown. One minute my roots were puffy and the next thing I know my demarcation line was as clear as day so be patient.
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PS for online product shopping head straight to curl mart on naturallycurly.com and read the reviews there and online:
http://www.curlmart.com/?utm_source=TABonNC&utm_medium=CMTab&utm_term=ONNC&utm_content=Newtabs&utm_campaign=NC

And if you need more encouragement hun just ring. I love giving this sort of peptalk.

Until then Happy Nappy

thank you sooo much for that! i really needed it! I deffinatly need to spend more time on learning more about myself and my hair....thanks for being there you are one awesome cookie!

No problem hun and if you really get impatient why don't you create a ticker like mine to track your transition or countdown to your bc. It really helped me as I looked forward to seeing the numbers change. Just click on my tickers and it will direct you to the site if you should choose to create one.

Hi ladies...

If you don't mind I would like to add to this conversation seeing that mizzbrwneyez89 and I seems to be starting at the same point. Hi Naturallychelsea, again thank you for the responding on my page. I conditioned my hair, twisted and it came not frizzy hard not cute.. It was 1st time trying the twist.

Well if you want to combine the posts rvalent I'll answer you here. You said your twists came out hard so it could be that you used too much product but from what you wrote I can't really pinpoint the reason for your stiffness as I've never known a conditioner to have that effect.
Also, if they came out frizzy you might want to try introducing a gel to keep your twists defined and really locked togethere.

Lastly, most curlies, like myself, do not use conditioners to twist instead we use butters. I like to use a mix of shea butter, oils and gel to twist my hair so that they will be moisturised and neat.

HTH

Hi Naturallychelsea,

Correction to my earlier post, it wasn't hard, just frizzy and thick.. no curls held at all.. I'll try to post a picture later.

Thanks for the heads up... i did use conditioners to twist.. I need to find the right butters and oils..

Tonight i'll pick up some natural raw shea butter, coconut il to twist my hair and go from there. Since this is the beginning any style you can think of that will look presentable for work is greatly appreciated.

well besides the obvious ponytails and buns you could try pinning up twists or box braids and searching on youtube for professional looking styles. Sorry I can't be of more help but I've never really thought about it.

What products do you love?

-I lorve the herbal essences line
-Shea butter
-olive oil, jojoba oil, castor oil, coconut oil

and using these simple ingredients I make evrything I need like:
-a spray to mist my hair: conditioner, water and jojoba
-leave in: conditioner HEHH

but I'm expecting some products soon so I'll let you know.

cool! im starting to get a handle on my life

Good to hear hun

Have you thought much about your winter reggie? As we all know winter can be really drying so you might want to consider ways to keep your hair moisturized and kept away from the harsh winds of winter. Ring me if you need help.

psh mannnn i didnt even think about that..... RING RING RING RING RINGGGGGGGGG HELP ME PLEASE! LOL i just got sort of comfortable with what ive been doing so far not even taking into consideration THE WEATHER!

A few tips as it gets colder are:
~To up your mousturising. You might want to invest in heavy cream
~Ensure you seal your hair very well.
~Whatever you do do not leave your house with wet hair. This could cause your hair to freeze and become damaged.
~Ensure that you keep your scalp moisturised and hydrated. You may want to oil it.
~You may want to avoid humectants (a product found in many hair products that draw moisture out of the atmosphere and into the hair). During winter this works against you as it draws moisture out of your hair and into the atmosphere drying your hair. Examples of popular humectants are honey, glycerin, panthenol, beeswax and their is a long list here:
http://www.curlynikki.com/2009/01/proteins-humectants-and-conesoh-my.html

These are just a few but listen to your hair and it will tell you if it needs more moisture, sealing etc.

thanks will do! also liking the growth of your hair it looks awesome!