I'm new and need help, please! (kinda long story...sorry)

My problem is kind of strange. My mother is Chinese and has never known how to correctly work with my hair. Because of this, I was 2 years old when my hair was first relaxed. Since she had been straightening my hair my entire life, I never had the idea of wearing it natural, especially because I believed only straight hair should be worn natural. Every 6 months my mother would perm my new growth and I actually retained a lot of length mostly because I was young and I didn't care about my hair and after it was straightened I didn't mess with it. Well, once I entered high school I began to care about my image so I used heat and other styling tools on it every day. I even began to perm my own hair. BAD IDEA! I was 15 in the 10th grade when small clumps of hair fell out after leaving the perm in too long. After this traumatizing event, I became obsessed with keeping my hair healthy BUT STILL STRAIGHT. Even after this, I didn't fully understand. So every two to three weeks my mom would straighten my hair and trim my ends for about two years until the damage was gone. I also stopped relaxing since then (2003). After high school, I had to start doing my own hair because I was going to school at Michigan State ( 3000 miles from home). Because of this I mostly wore my hair in two pig tail braids because of the weather. I continued straightening but I would sometimes wear wash and go in a bun because straightening always took 1 to 2 hours. I lived with flat ironing my hair until the end of last summer. I never knew anything about natural hair products and I just assumed my hair was never meant to look put together in it's natural state until August of 2009. I began to wear my hair without flat ironing it BUT because of all the straitening and perming, my natural curls were screwed up. Some parts were straight and others curly. I also don't really know my actual curl pattern because through out my life, it would change! I have photographic proof.

So my question for ANYONE who might have this issue, how do you style natural hair if it looks completely different from wet to dry? And if your hair pattern seems to be constantly changing from year to year.

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This was my hair cut that explains the short curly hair in the other pictures.
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My hair will barely curl now for after I flat ironed it one month ago!

It sound like you may have heat damage from the flat iron. If it is heat damage, the only way to remedy it, is to let is grow out and trim it little by little. Too much heat on your hair will cause it stay straight.

It is VERY important to use a heat protectant if you plan to continue to wear your hair straight.

Are you a fellow Spartan?
Go State!!!!!