Annoying comments

by candycane1224 2nd August 2010, 8:21 pm

Ever since people have seen my natural hair, all they can say is "oh you have good hair. i can't wear my hair natural because it won't look like that" I get soooooooo annoyed. Yesterday a family friend was at my house and made the comment that the only way they could have their hair natural is if they got a "jheri curl". In response to that, a comment was made by someone else "that they were embarrassed when it rained and her coworkers saw her hair and it looked like mine.(this person has natural hair also)" I was really offended by that and felt some type of way. I needed to vent [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] .

by ChardaeD 3rd August 2010, 9:16 am

It's funny...don't people just feel like they can say whatever they're thinking about you hair, right to your face? Family members and friends who aren't cool with it are especially fun. I guess you've got to think of it as "in one ear and out the other" even if it does become annoying. I just like to think that I'm a bit more enlightened than they are.

by Ebbz 3rd August 2010, 3:08 pm

I get the same type of comments. "See your hair is pretty/looks good/is good/...my hair is too nappy/thick/ugly/unruly to go natural" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And the one I hate the most...."So what are you gonna do with it? I mean, like when it grows out, what are you gonna do with it?" Its a shame how ignorant African American women are to natural hair and natural hair styles. Just because you're relaxed doesn't mean you can't be knowledgeable about other types of hair. Now I realize why so many of us continue to use relaxers...its all we know!

by jac.attack 3rd August 2010, 4:21 pm

I hate the good hair comments. Especially when people say "I can't go natural my hair isn't like yours" I wish they were more confident to be able to do what they wanted to their hair instead of talking about mine. Plus, they don't know the trouble we go through to find products that work for curly hair! It's not as easy as it looks. Every hair type has its problems.

I'm really low maintanience and pretty much only do wash and gos and people feel like they need to tell me everything they would do to their hair if it was like mine and why don't I do anything to it. I did do something! I washed it and I left. You should leave now to since you have nothing good to say to me.

Smile

by tiffytaffey 3rd August 2010, 6:08 pm

I am there with you ladies.......Not a do doesn't go by that I don't hear "Man if I had good hair like yours I would go natural" or "My hair is not as good as yours to go natural" It is very annoying because to me ALL natural hair is beautiful and because I have one type of hair does not make my hair any better than the next.

by candycane1224 3rd August 2010, 6:43 pm

ChardaeD wrote:It's funny...don't people just feel like they can say whatever they're thinking about you hair, right to your face? Family members and friends who aren't cool with it are especially fun. I guess you've got to think of it as "in one ear and out the other" even if it does become annoying. I just like to think that I'm a bit more enlightened than they are.

it makes NO sense, people just like to be ignorant. maybe one day they will realize that the next person's hair may not look exactly like theirs and that is completely okay and that is what makes everyone unique.

by candycane1224 3rd August 2010, 6:48 pm

Ebbz wrote:I get the same type of comments. "See your hair is pretty/looks good/is good/...my hair is too nappy/thick/ugly/unruly to go natural" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And the one I hate the most...."So what are you gonna do with it? I mean, like when it grows out, what are you gonna do with it?" Its a shame how ignorant African American women are to natural hair and natural hair styles. Just because you're relaxed doesn't mean you can't be knowledgeable about other types of hair. Now I realize why so many of us continue to use relaxers...its all we know!

I get the so what are you gonna do with it now alot too and it really bugs me. Why do I have to "do" anything? People are conditioned to go by what other people tell them and think that it is the only way.

jac.attack wrote:I hate the good hair comments. Especially when people say "I can't go natural my hair isn't like yours" I wish they were more confident to be able to do what they wanted to their hair instead of talking about mine. Plus, they don't know the trouble we go through to find products that work for curly hair! It's not as easy as it looks. Every hair type has its problems.

I'm really low maintanience and pretty much only do wash and gos and people feel like they need to tell me everything they would do to their hair if it was like mine and why don't I do anything to it. I did do something! I washed it and I left. You should leave now to since you have nothing good to say to me.

I've had that happen to me too where people try and suggest what I should do to it when its my hair. I'm pretty low maintenance as well, usually I'll put a headband or just push it back and I am completely fine with that, but people do not see that. Instead they want to add their unwanted two cents into everything lol

tiffytaffey wrote:I am there with you ladies.......Not a do doesn't go by that I don't hear "Man if I had good hair like yours I would go natural" or "My hair is not as good as yours to go natural" It is very annoying because to me ALL natural hair is beautiful and because I have one type of hair does not make my hair any better than the next.

I agree completely with you, one type of hair is not "better" than another. People get me with that. Maybe if they knew how to take care of their hair then they would have this "good hair" too because "good hair" to me is healthy hair.

by songbird 3rd August 2010, 7:05 pm

I'm not fully natural yet; I'm still transitioning, so I haven't gotten any of these comments. But I have to say that I can't be mad at these people because I used to think the same way. I'd never say it, but whenever I saw a woman with a head full of beautiful natural hair I would wish I had hair like hers so that I could go natural too. I wouldn't think that my hair was necessarily "bad", I just felt that it was not the "right type" to go natural. The people that make these remarks are naive and don't know any better. They have been conditioned to think and feel the way they do. I know it because I was the same way.

Side note: Before I started to transition, I was always confused because people would tell me that my (relaxed) hair was
"good" hair because it was so thick and pretty, yet the hair that grew out of my scalp was "nappy". [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I was told that I had "that good black girl hair" and was made fun of for "needing a perm out this world" (whatever that even means..) in the same month. My relaxed days were such a self-esteem rollercoaster.

by KeetaRay 3rd August 2010, 10:13 pm

Ooooh this is a great topic. For me especially, because I have been on BOTH sides of this debate. Before going natural in 2008, one of my good friends, whom I have known since 2006, would always tell me I should go natural (she is natural & has been most of her life, and is a health fanatic and just thought relaxers were unhealthy - as they are). This friend has loose, silky curls. Now, although I hadn't seen my own natural hair since I was 12 when I got my first relaxer, I still wasn't sure what my hair was like because my mom used to press it out. But I DID know it wasn't like hers, and I was under the impression that I NEEDED a perm because I didn't know any better. So I'd always tell her, "My hair is not like yours!" in a completely frustrated and annoyed voice. (Lol) She'd be so mad/annoyed with me. No I understand why, although at the time I didn't get it... But growing up, it was always about "good hair/bad hair" and only those with certain textures were THOUGHT to be able to go natural.

Over the next 2 years I had grown tremendously and my views on MANY things started to change, my hair included. I decided I was going to go natural regardless of my hair texture, because it's all about accepting yourself and your hair the way it is. I think a lot of people don't get that. They think you have to have a particular hair type, as I once thought, but it's all about educating yourself. People can be really silly and rude about many things, hair included. Being that I USED TO BE one of those ignorant people, I just want to say that there is hope for others. Wink

Their comments can be annoying but just state your peace (or not) and keep it moving. Don't even worry about them, DO YOU.

Good Hair = Healthy Hair. I tell people all the time whenever they make comments to me that they can't go natural b/c their hair "isn't like mine". I don't know if they listen or understand, but I say it anyway. Planting seeds...

by WhosThatRedHead 4th August 2010, 12:34 am

Ebbz wrote:I get the same type of comments. "See your hair is pretty/looks good/is good/...my hair is too nappy/thick/ugly/unruly to go natural" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And the one I hate the most...."So what are you gonna do with it? I mean, like when it grows out, what are you gonna do with it?" Its a shame how ignorant African American women are to natural hair and natural hair styles. Just because you're relaxed doesn't mean you can't be knowledgeable about other types of hair. Now I realize why so many of us continue to use relaxers...its all we know!

That drives me crazy!!! And what I've been getting lately is.... "You should loc your hair" and then when I say I don't want to loc my hair (nothing against locs it just aint for me) They feel it's their mission to convince me to loc my hair.... seriously [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ???

by KeetaRay 4th August 2010, 11:05 am

OMG for the first few months of being natural women (natural or not) would ask if I was going to loc my hair. I LOVE locs but I don't want that committment just yet. I'm fine with my hair being out for now and don't plan to loc anytime soon, if ever. I'd get that question a lot & it was annoying. Sigh... No one asks anymore, though. Strange. Maybe some are just used to seeing TWAs or if your hair is long and natural, it is in locs. I really don't even know...

How about just yesterday, a woman who made a slick comment toward me when I first did my BC back in '08 (asking why I cut off all my hair and then laughed), just hit me up on Facebook telling me my hair always looks nice and she is thinking of going natural, and can I help her with styles. You serious? Smh I referred her to my blog. Wink

by cyclingchick 4th August 2010, 2:02 pm

As my breast cancer survivor friend said..."I thought my hair was 'bad' until I lost it" I know that's heavy, but it makes a lot of sense. Good hair is healthy hair...period.

by C. 4th August 2010, 2:08 pm

KeetaRay wrote:OMG for the first few months of being natural women (natural or not) would ask if I was going to loc my hair. I LOVE locs but I don't want that committment just yet. I'm fine with my hair being out for now and don't plan to loc anytime soon, if ever. I'd get that question a lot & it was annoying. Sigh... No one asks anymore, though. Strange. Maybe some are just used to seeing TWAs or if your hair is long and natural, it is in locs. I really don't even know...

Same here Keeta. Just last night a friend from church and my sister's boyfriend told me that I should loc my hair and dye the tips. Actually, about 5 or 6 people have told me that I should loc my hair. Their reasoning is that 1.) It would be cute on me and I can pull it off & 2.)I should just loc it cuz I always twist and untwist my hair anyways. I always respond by saying NO!!! If I want to loc my hair I will, but right now I enjoy my loose hair and locs seem like to much maintanence(sp) as far as the retwisting new growth, not being able to wash the first few weeks or so while they loc and lastly not being able to do this [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

by KeetaRay 4th August 2010, 2:10 pm

@Kinda_Curly_Cassie09 Yesss!!! Gotta love the 'fro Smile

@CyclingChick You're friend is absolutely right. And that reminds me just hair trivial the whole "hair-thing" can be!

by natural813 4th August 2010, 2:12 pm

I get the comment about good hair from all my family members. The same thing. "You can go natural because you have nice hair/good hair. I don't even say nothing. But I know in my mind I don't like the comment. But people are entitled to there own opinions and am not going to be the one to change their minds.

by FreeFroMonet 4th August 2010, 3:12 pm

Let me tell you this good hair bad hair thing just disgust me now a days. Before going natural I didn't think much about it. It's someone's personal choice and none of my business really! There was only one girl who's hair really made me think WoW I'd like to ask her millions of questions about her hair but even still it's not my place to be all in her business like that! After becoming natural I notice alot of negative comments, not directed at me but just in general and I get REALLY offended, I thought it was just me! I never get when ppl say "IT's not for everybody"...that really gets me going bc you would think it is for everybody being that that's how the hair grows out of your scalp. If it weren't for someone there hair would grow out of their scalp permed!ha You'd think it was for everybody bc it's healthier. I mean and either way it's nobodies place to say what is and isn't for someone. I could keep going and going about this but I'd never stop. Thanks for lettin me VENT!

by **Lynnieluve** 4th August 2010, 3:31 pm

When I get the "you have that good hair" comment, I always respond, "You do too. You just dont know it yet." Then I ask, "When is the last time you've seen your natural hair? And I'm not talking about new growth!" They always get quiet on me......wonder why? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

by KeetaRay 4th August 2010, 3:57 pm

@Lynnieluve That's a great response. I'm gonna use that Wink

by C. 4th August 2010, 4:19 pm

@yellabella- i feel you on that. alot of people see natural hair as a trend or a hairstyle, not something that grows out of your scalp that way.

by tiffytaffey 4th August 2010, 4:36 pm

Lynnieluve wrote:When I get the "you have that good hair" comment, I always respond, "You do too. You just dont know it yet." Then I ask, "When is the last time you've seen your natural hair? And I'm not talking about new growth!" They always get quiet on me......wonder why? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Love it!!!

by WhosThatRedHead 4th August 2010, 4:45 pm

I guess the conclusion is that people no matter who they are can say ignorant stuff (whether they mean to or not) and we "the natural hair club" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] just gotta come up with different ways to let it roll off our shoulders.

Oh! And today someone told me they didn't have the right face to wear their hair like mine..... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

by curlybarbi48 4th August 2010, 6:29 pm

I got this exact same "compliment" today. This lady told me, "That is reallying becoming of you. You can do that, though, because you have good hair". I told her that my hair is no better than hers. She insisted, until I pulled the back of my fro up and whipped the beady-beads on her! THAT shut her up!

I also hate when people think it's okay to tell you when they dislike your hair/hairstyle. I think that's very rude. What gives them the right to comment on MY hair? I'm not wearing my hair/hairstyle for anyone but myself!

by SeanymphPrincess 4th August 2010, 7:57 pm

The "Good Hair" comment always makes me shake my head. I mean enough already. I'm sick and tired of people wanting to make small talk about how "pretty" my hair is. Asking if my hair texture is real, wanting to grab my hair. It's annoying!!!!!!

It's like they think of my hair as the hem of Jesus garment. If they just get a little touch of it miraculously there hair texture will change to mine!!!! RIDAMNDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by LivinandLovin 4th August 2010, 10:29 pm

I've only gotten the "good hair" comments from other naturals, never from relaxed women. It doesn't really bother me though, I know what they mean.

by candycane1224 4th August 2010, 10:37 pm

I agree with the statement that was made about when people try and tell others how to wear their hair. It is not their place.

One of my cousins even went as far as to say that I put "activator in it to make it curl like that". I just left that alone but I was fuming inside.How can my own flesh and blood be so IGNORANT!! RAWR!!!

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